High weight is destroying my life

[Depressedanddesperate1]

It's my first time posting please go Easy on me , basically as the title says my weight is destroying my life , I have gained 6 stone since having my daughter, I'm a mess , my body aches , I can hardly walk as even 5 or 6 steps leaves me with lower back pain and breathlessness , every bone in my body ache and I constantly feel tired and run down
For context I finally bit the bullet and weighed myself at the GP on Friday , I am 29 stones in weight I am disgusted to say
My life is a misery , I cannot run round after my child , can't go anywhere without thinking about the seating, recently went to a concert , I always have to book the Isle seats or its a no go
The main issue for me at the moment is My Job , I work full time and worked at home all through covid in an office Job , the last two months we have been back office based and its hell (I work for NHS)
I cannot park my vehicle anywhere near the building I work in meaning even the relatively short walk from my car to the office is is leaving me dizzy and sick, I'm tired all the time , even if a colleague suggests going the shop at lunch time for a walk or fresh air I always make an excuse as I can't face going because I know I can't manage it, there is some suggestion at work also that we will be taking on responsibilities that involve a 30 min walk each day , due to my sheer size I simply cannot do this , I don't know what to do , I can't afford not to work
Days out with family I'm constantly having to sit down , DH Is always the one running round after our child at the park
It's getting to the point that I can't physically manage at all , I'm joining slimming world , DH thinks I should go off sick at work for 6 months and get myself better and fitter , luckily I do get sick pay , would a GP sign me off for this? I feel like I'd be better off dead than living like this and only have myself to blame , my mood is rock bottom.
I spoke to the GP about weight loss surgery

I did similiar

Saxenda daily ( lower dose due to costs)
High protein
Low carb
Walking walking everywhere

Sometimes I'd forget to eat it's so effective

Yup. I had Saxenda for 3 months and then again for a further 4 month burst – the highest I got to was 2.4. It definitely kickstarted things for me.

It makes me sad that our society and environment enables this OP. It’s just so fucking hard to eat well. Women now work which is positive in some ways but shut in others - nobody is home to cook a decent meal! Convenience comes in the form of jars which are full of sugar and chemicals like sweeteners, filled with inflammatory oils like sunflower oils.

OP you don’t need to join slimming world. You need to just switch to real food. Real butter, real milk, real meat, no pasta or bread but potato and rice is fine.

read the book why we eat (too much) and follow the advice in it. No need for diets. Good luck!

I would add, bite the bullet and ask for an occupational health referral at work. Explain to them how your weight is affecting you at work, what you intend to do about it in the longer term, and ask how work can support you because you can't manage the new duties. Treat it like any other disease or MH disorder - not shame, but action and responsibility. I'm sorry you are hurting so much and it can get better, it must get better. Ozempic or surgery are I think the main evidence backed strategies, then lifestyle changes to follow.

@OhNoOhDearOh

Why no pasta?? Or bread

They are fine! You don't need to cut ANYTHING out, this is where people go wrong denying themselves

Moderation

You can change this but you need willpower and your husband will need to help you. Eat soup. The weight will fall off you. If you want it that much you can do it. Soup only for a week. After that things that grow only Don't have other stuff In the house Just fill up on the good stuff

Talk about setting yourself up to fail!!!

OP. Exercise isn’t going to work just yet for you. What you need to do is have diet control but you’re going to need a medical intervention.

ozempic yes - but in reality if you’re not diabetic you won’t get it on the NHS. It also might not be strong enough for you just yet. there are stronger versions of ozempic in the US that will actually make bariatric surgery obsolete but genuinely you need it now. I would push the GP to find out a way for you to get moved up a list or onto the pathway now.

You poor thing. Right, you’re in da get of killing yourself at this weight and you know it. Tell your husband there are to be no more takeaways and junk in the house. Do low carb high protein. If you’re hungry choose eggs, lean meat, fruit and veg. Ditch the pasta and bread. If you need a test make it 100cal max of low fat crisps or small choc bar. Stop at one!
The weight will fall off you. You CAN do this. Every time you’re tempted to overset think of your baby and how you want to be around for her birthdays

Sorry for errors!

Hi @Depressedanddesperate1 . First of all, I totally understand how you feel. I have struggled with my weight for many many years. I have had loads of advice, tips, etc. I know that the only way to lose weight is to eat less, not to eat the wrong things, and to do more exercise. It's really hard to change your eating habits, I know, and exercising is nearly impossible! Most people can't afford to go private for a gastric band or gastric sleeve and I'm going to assume that it would be difficult for you too. I know when I looked into it on the NHS a LONG time ago I would have had to prove I was serious about losing weight by actually losing some weight before I would even be put onto the waiting list. So - why not start simply, by doing what you can do to start with. Little things do make a difference. Decide what you are going to do, do it, and add to it over time. You could start by cutting out the takeaways and treats. You can substitute the unhealthy options for healthy ones. If you MUST have a takeaway, choose the healthy option and only a small portion. For me, that was chicken kebab and salad with no sauces, pitta or chips. If you have to have snacks, try to have fruit or veg. Drink LOTS of water. Flavoured with sugar free squash if necessary, and somehow hot drinks fill you up more than cold. Porridge is really filling and if you make it with water and don't sweeten it with sugar also really healthy. I buy Bob skimmed milk and use 1/3 milk and 2/3 water for a better flavour. I'm not good at being hungry, so I choose to eat plenty but of the more healthy options. The most significant changes have made is to find a private swimming pool for hire and to go swimming every week. I couldn't go swimming in public looking the way I do (my hang up, lots of larger ladies swim in public), so I swim to exercise. It's good low impact exercise that isn't hard on my feet or joints. I still get out of puff easily, but I am spending the money I save on takeaways and treats on swimming, so in the end its not really costing me anything more than time and effort. And every week I can do a bit more. You can do it - just find what works for you, and believe in yourself.

❤️ OP - you are not alone. And becoming aware and acknowledging where you are is a big step so well done for that. I had that slap in the face earlier in the year and it wasn't nice but it scares me where I might be if I hadn't.

So much good advice already. For me, I think there are at least three parts to this: food; exercise and mental health.

I don't know much about surgery or the medications described here but I'm sure they work and would be worth exploring.

Slimming world has really helped me - now I'm not always perfect in following the rules but it does guide me and I find the motivation I get from other people in the meetings sooo valuable.

I'm not sure how accurate/true this is but my slimming world leader always says that a pound off on the scales takes 4 pounds of pressure off your knees. So the losing even few pounds could have an amazing impact on how you feel and make increasing physical activity more achievable.

I really do think the mental health thing is huge. Everyone is different but for me, I think my MH challenges are part of what made me gain so much weight. And then fat shaming comments like you describe just made me want to turn more and more to comfort eating. A viscous circle! Have you considered getting some help for your MH?

No matter what route you go it is one choice (one day, one meal and/or one step) at a time. You won't and can't always be perfect but draw that line today (and accept that it can and most likely will be redrawn many times).

Good luck in your journey - it isn't easy but it is doable and sooo worth it xx

Oh lovely, I want to give you a big hug! It seems like you’re ready to lose weight but just need some support in doing it. Something like slimming world or weightwatchers would be a good place to start, and then you could lose a bit and try another diet in a while if you wanted to go it alone, but for now some support and guidance would be helpful maybe? Some areas offer 12 weeks for free so worth asking GP if that’s what on offer?

you’re clearly an amazing mum xxxxx

Thank you again for everybody's messages I really need to make some positive changes I'm terrified I'm going to die and leave my daughter with no mother
The management at work arnt very supportive I don't even know how I will bring this up , I'm going to speak to the GP again tomorrow about some medications , I feel like I'm living a nightmare I can't wake up from.

So much has happened that I am humiliated by , my clothes are like bin liners , they just hang off Me , I don't buy anything I like just things that fit

I think the worse thing other then worrying for My child is the way people look at me, it's that look of disgust at the monster in front of them

I wish some of them new as a teenager I loved football and was very active and almost played for England woman's football team
That person seems like it was somebody else now

Gp won't prescribe saxenda or ozempic....they just won't ( too expensive)

I got a private prescription and pay myself. One pen is £48 and on lowest dose could eek out to a fortnight.

People your weight ( I follow on sm) have lost a stone in that time. 10 stone in a year

Dis you suffer any major loss or trauma, OP? I'm not looking for details if so, but it seems to be often the case when someone puts on such a lot of weight. And then you need to unpick the emotional reasons for your overeating as well as the practical stuff.

Come and join us on the 10 stone to lose thread! I joined when I was nearly 23 stone and I've lost 6.5 since then with everyone's support.

No major trauma , my family are supportive but worried also
Husband is same he worries like today and how out of breath I was just been out and about

I had gastric sleeve surgery in turkey. £3500 and I had my gallbladder taken out too (it was full of gallstones unbeknownst to me) Best money I have ever spent. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Message me if you want details.

All my photos I have are pictures of my husband and child , she doesn't have any natural photos with me at all , I can't stand to look at myself.

I am almost 22 stone and only 5 foot. I have a thyroid problem but do have medication. I know exactly how you feel. I could have written your post myself. My lower back is so painful I can only stand for 2-3 minute's at once and DH has to help me in and out of shower and wash my back, bottom and feet as I can't bend down. I can only walk about 20 metres. I get breathless too as asthmatic. I have had to buy a wheelchair for if I want to go anywhere more than 20 metres. DH pushes me. I know people state at me when I am out struggling to walk and having to keep stopping to catch my breath as to rest my back. I have been referred for weight management. I have recently applied for PIP because it affects my mobility and I am desperate for a blue badge so I can park closer to things as if I can't walk and DH is at work I can't go. I know getting trapped in my house is affecting my mental health. I would be fearful of having surgery overseas as I have read some real horror stories. I am going to start having a slimming shake in place of one meal. Maybe you and other poster also could try this with me. We could try to motivate each other. I am too ashamed of my weight to go to a slimming group in real life until I have lost a few stones.

What is Saxenda? Where do you get it?