High weight is destroying my life

[Depressedanddesperate1]

It's my first time posting please go Easy on me , basically as the title says my weight is destroying my life , I have gained 6 stone since having my daughter, I'm a mess , my body aches , I can hardly walk as even 5 or 6 steps leaves me with lower back pain and breathlessness , every bone in my body ache and I constantly feel tired and run down
For context I finally bit the bullet and weighed myself at the GP on Friday , I am 29 stones in weight I am disgusted to say
My life is a misery , I cannot run round after my child , can't go anywhere without thinking about the seating, recently went to a concert , I always have to book the Isle seats or its a no go
The main issue for me at the moment is My Job , I work full time and worked at home all through covid in an office Job , the last two months we have been back office based and its hell (I work for NHS)
I cannot park my vehicle anywhere near the building I work in meaning even the relatively short walk from my car to the office is is leaving me dizzy and sick, I'm tired all the time , even if a colleague suggests going the shop at lunch time for a walk or fresh air I always make an excuse as I can't face going because I know I can't manage it, there is some suggestion at work also that we will be taking on responsibilities that involve a 30 min walk each day , due to my sheer size I simply cannot do this , I don't know what to do , I can't afford not to work
Days out with family I'm constantly having to sit down , DH Is always the one running round after our child at the park
It's getting to the point that I can't physically manage at all , I'm joining slimming world , DH thinks I should go off sick at work for 6 months and get myself better and fitter , luckily I do get sick pay , would a GP sign me off for this? I feel like I'd be better off dead than living like this and only have myself to blame , my mood is rock bottom.
I spoke to the GP about weight loss surgery

Can you call today 'day 1' and work out what you need to bring your weight down.

It will be a long journey but its doable.

Maybe you could try Ozempic? If you have high insulin levels losing weight is going to be harder.
It lowers blood sugar levels and you don’t feel hungry.
The Gp could sign you off for depression. I’m not sure about for weight loss.
please don’t underestimate how hard it is to have a child and work full time. It’s really challenging.

I had weight loss surgery and its the best thing I ever did. Absolutely no regrets at all.

I was 'only' 17.5 stone and I felt awful so I have so much sympathy for you :(

One day at a time and be compassionate with yourself. I feel the sheer frustration and upset coming through in your post. Keep coming back to this thread when you feel like giving up. And think of the things you’ll be able to do with your daughter as you lose weight and get fitter.

Did you discuss with your GP a weight loss plan?

I'm sat here in tears I just can't belive how much I have let myself go
I discussed weight loss surgery with GP and he said I would qualify but there is a wait for this
Iv had a quote for gastric sleeve 11 grand in the UK much cheaper in Turkey , I can't bear even leaving the house , took my daughter out today and two people commented on my weight in public , this is now a regular occurance , a child at my child's nursey said to My daughter , you have a fat mummy
Work is making me sick with anxiety , I'm feelunf humiliated at the prospect if I get asked to do something I physically can't do

My sister had a gastric sleeve and has lost 5 stone in a few months !
She was getting heavier and heavier year on year despite being fairly fit doing a physical job!

It was £10k well spent !

I think at almost 30 stone weight loss surgery might be the most sensible course of treatment. Do some research into legitimate hospitals abroad (we've all heard the scare stories about foreign cut price operations) that perform gastric sleeves. There is an ongoing bariatric surgery thread here. There will surely be some good advice from those posters

www.mumsnet.com/talk/weight_loss_chat/4409464-bariatric-surgery-thread-3

I’d be really really wary of paying for surgery abroad, I’ve heard some really awful stories.

What is your diet like? Don’t worry too much about exercise early on - even a 10 min walk is something. And once you start to see the losses come through on the scales you will feel able to do more

Sorry I don't know how to reply individually but thank you for your kind words
My husband is lovely but apart from working full time and contributing financially I do very little in the house he does everything because I find it all too physically exhausting , even showering and bathing I'm struggling to stand in the shower for long periods , I'm.always hot and aching everywhere and irritable , my poor daughter .

I second this - it's been a game changer for me.

My diet isn't good at all , just convenience food mainly , my daughter eats well and healthy and I try to stick to the same meals but always sabotage with takeaways and things I shouldn't eat , iv just been for a walk round our estate and when iv come back my face is that hot and sweating and it feels like I can't get enough air in my lungs , I don't know how I can cope like this

My stomach is massive and uncomfortable to the extend that it is in my way when I walk
I'm constantly out of breath and my feet hurt constantly
The thought of getting up and doing it all again tomorrow is making me anxious

I'd say ozempic ( or saxenda) as well

I've been using sax and lost almost 4 stone

On a break now ( private prescription) ....paid for by me...then I'm going onto ozempic for last stone or 2

BBC News - Surgery: Women regret overseas cut-price weight loss ops
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-63313565

My Mum in law had weight loss surgery which helped immensely, however there is also a mental element to it as well (just so you’re aware).

I know it’s easier said than done, but can you make one small change starting from today for you. Perhaps a five to ten minute walk once a day and start building up from there?

Today is the last day you will feel this heavy OP

Make the next thing you put in your mouth healthy and then sit down and make a plan

You absolutely can do this , you just need to find the way that suits you best , don't rush into surgery , see your GP face to face , ask what help they can provide and medically what are you able to do

I would not go off sick , I would keep working for distraction , motivation , focus on yourself and make some small term goals , I promise once you can eg lose the first half stone , or get up easier , turn over without pain etc you will feel motivated

Some very gentle sit down exercises or walking for 5 mins this week and 10 mins next week will also help

Good luck OP , we are all routing for you , you are not alone 💐

I'm 22 stone so not far off u and I have alot of what u r experiencing. You need to make an effort to cut down food to be healthy this will help.

I've started back at gym doing small weights and cycling. My cardio was awful but now its better and I can walk more too. Its also helped with my back pain.

You do need to sort out your food as a priority, try fasting too.

I'd suggest having a look at Diet Doctors website. For me low carb, a bit of intermittent fasting and choosing high satiety foods has put my diabetes in remission and led to me losing over 3 stone. I'm still a long way from an ideal weight but that 3 stone has stayed off and allows me to do so much more in life. (I started at 23st) I just want to reassure you that benefits from losing weight and better overall health, dont only begin when you get to a goal weight. It didn't take much to start feeling better and have a lot more energy.
It was also amazing to find that the constant hunger was gone, I don't have that drive to keep eating like I used to. When the sugar and refined carbs are gone it leaves room to hear genuine hunger and reduces appetite & cravings.
There's so many success stories on there, I'd say its a much more sustainable way of eating than slimming world or weight watchers.
Just remember you are worthy right now just as you are, losing weight is a tool to help you live life the way you want. Having gained weight in the first place is not a moral failing, none of us woke up one day and decided to be fat. So try to be kind to yourself, self compassion is a far better way to motivate yourself long term than fear or shame.
Good luck with whatever path you choose x

I lost 6.5 stone in 18 months – and still going – with a combination of Saxenda, intermittent fasting and cooking high protein, high good fats, low carb. It was hard at times but now it’s second nature and I can see myself living like this forever. You can do it too. You just have to start.

Oh flower! That's rough. Of course you haven't 'let' yourself go as you put it. If you gained so much in a shortish time it's not going to be because you had a few extra bacon barms. What's going on for you? Somewhere in all this you are trying to self manage something that's a problem for you and just treating the symptoms won't solve it. Given how pricey surgery is, and with all respect to those on that path not without risk, would you feel comfortable talking to a therapist about how you've got here?

I feel your pain. I'm 17 stone, post multiple complex prolapse surgeries and I feel horrible about myself. Im gradually starting to get my head round what role food (and booze!) plays in my life, and how it's part of some serious traumas for me. I can go on a diet sure but ultimately I'm beginning to realise that if I don't handle the trauma, I'm just going to be back in this situation further down the line. So yeah, telling you what I need to hear myself and not an expert.

I do know this though. Fat, thin you are worthy of respect, pet. Don't beat yourself up but do assemble your support team. Pm me if you want to chat

You poor thing, that sounds just awful. It was brave of you to get weighed at the doctors, I understand how that must have been a huge step.. I know someone who is pschyching (sp?) themselves up to do just that, and it is a real hurdle.
Don't beat yourself up, the reality is you are suffering every day, and now you have decided to take steps to deal with it.
Your husband sounds supportive, and it is possible that your GP will sign you off, or at least give you a letter explaining that you need adjustments made because of your current state of health. You could also ask for mental health support, you need a lot of help to keep you on track. The person I know has just started CBT and says it is helping them feel more in control of what and when they are eating. Weightwatchers and the group support will be great for moral support too.
If you are considering weightloss surgery, you need to discuss all this with your doctor at length. Personally , I wouldn't do it abroad, and your GP has said that you are eligible here, but might need to go on a waiting list. The thing is, you need to address what is causing you to overeat, and deal with it, otherwise the problem is not solved. Keep pushing at the GPs, make it clear how miserable this is making you feel..surgery is not the only answer. Your state of mind is really concerning to me, I can hear your despair, you need a referral to a therapist.
You've taken the first steps, keep going.

Also I totally agree with PPs who say the benefits begin long before you reach a “normal” weight. I am still classified as obese according to my BMI (hence why I’m still losing) but I have a million times more energy, I’m a better mum, I no longer feel restricted from doing anything because of my size, I’m attracting men again, I’m confident and happy most of the time. It’s been life-changing. I only wish I’d done it years ago.

I highly recommend listening to the losing 100lb podcast by Corinne Crabtree. She really makes sense and the way she explains thing will probably resonate with you, as it’s the mindset you need to work on in order to lose weight. Good luck.

Phone OHSAS at ur work tomorrow morning. Make a face to face appointment with them and discuss everything with them. I'm pretty sure ur GP will help u with everything too but u must make that first move. Phone them and speak to them. That is what they are there for. Ur job will be safe with a sick note, 6 months till a half pay. UR BEING INCREDIBLY BRAVE admitting you have these problems and you seem to want to do something, so go for it girl!!!!! I'm totally rooting for u!!!! X x