I, too, can't believe you are still here and googling everything i say. In an attempt to save face perhaps? Whatever it is, it's a bit embarrassing. For you.
Practically, in what way do you think the advice of abstaining from unprotected sex only when a sore is present, changes in the face of what you've copied and pasted? Should OP abstain from sex forever? Use condoms forever with a man she's been with for years?
OP i based my response on your situation, not general information copied and pasted from websites but for the benefit of this person who is intent on scaremongering with thoughts of unsterilised equipment and the constant possibility of transmission, I'll explain further.
The virus will usually be dormant in your body and cannot be transmitted during this time. This is the majority of the time.
Transmission can generally only take place in the presence of a sore, which includes the tingling, burning, itching feeling before the sore appears which indicates to you one is on its way. Some people, especially those who do not know they have herpes, don't notice this feeling and can pass it on at this stage. In fact, many people have outbreaks so mild that they don't even know they have herpes and have sex during an outbreak, passing it on.
In some cases, 'asymptomatic shedding' can occur where the virus is reactivated and no longer dormant, is present on the skin but no sore appears. Transmission through asymptomatic shedding is not common. Where this happens, it is far more likely to be in the first 12 months of getting the virus and when there are frequent outbreaks. As, if you've even got it, you've had the virus many years and do not have frequent outbreaks, it is highly highly unlikely this would happen in your case.
On the balance of probability, your husband already has the virus, whether genitally, as coldsores or elsewhere. This is true of the population as a whole. Prior HSV1 infection offers partial protection from hsv2 and vice versa. Two thirds of those who have it do not know they have it. Given you haven't contracted it recently, do not have frequent outbreaks and have been having sex with this man for many years, i see no reason why you'd change your habits in terms of protection, it's a decision for the both of you of course. When used between 25 and 60% of the time, the use of condoms halves the risk of transmission. Transmission is actually more likely male to female, and a man who is circumcised is less likely to contract it.
NHS won't offer antivirals to suppress outbreaks unless you're having many outbreaks a year.
This may all be for nothing though, my experience of the sexual health nurse was that she had absolutely no doubt about what it is. Sounds like perhaps yours had healed more though by time you saw her. It's a case of waiting and seeing I guess. If you test positive i would make sure you ask if it's type 1 or type 2.
I met a new partner around 15 months after contracting hsv1. We've been together a year. I have had one outbreak since i met him and abstained from sex until a few days after it had cleared up. We don't use condoms. To the best of our knowledge he hasn't caught it. If he has, he is asymptomatic. I told him i had it before we first had sex and sent him the nhs leaflet as well as a link to the hva website so he could inform himself.
I'm glad you have spoken about it with your husband. I'm also a worrier but i seldom think about it now and it certainly doesn't spoil my sex life. If i get say an ingrown hair or a bit of irritation i avoid sex until it either goes away or it's clear what it is. For us, it's about balancing enjoyment with the risk of him getting it. Sex is important to us, we do it often. So taking steps that hindered our enjoyment of it i.e always using condoms in order to prevent something that's unlikely to happen anyway doesn't make sense for us. It's a personal decision though!