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Women's health

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Original poster

Potential genital herpes, devastated

104 replies

Insheerpanic · 12/08/2022 14:04

I went to the dr this morning as I've been so sore down there for the last week since I had my smear test, thought I was just sore and had severe thrush. Had enough of it so went to dr today. She thinks its herpes and is sending me to a clinic for swabs tomorrow to confirm. I'm devastated been with one partner for 13 years and only had one more partner which I used protection for. Me or DP have never had a breakout or a coldsore, when the dr told me herpes I just started crying and I'm actually in shock. I keep bursting out randomly crying and haven't eaten since I just feel sick. I'm well aware it can lay dormant for years but I'm baffled as to where this has come from, partner has also only been with 2 other people which he used protection with. I'm just sad. And Worried. I'm pretty sure it is as the more I've read the more signs and symptoms I've got. Has anyone been in this position? I know to some people its 'just a virus' and is common but in a way I feel dirty?! I did get sexually abused at 14 and was forced to give oral sex with no protection so thats all been triggered again, I'm just heartbroken. How the fuck do I tell my partner when he gets in. I'm petrified hes going to think I've been elsewhere or I'm dirty or judge me. And I'm scared of future flare ups and how the hell I'm going to live a normal healthy life. I've been through so much and this is just the icing on the cake.

OP posts:
LondonLovie · 12/08/2022 15:39

Do check out this website, it's very reassuring x

herpes.org.uk

Original poster
Insheerpanic · 12/08/2022 15:40

Theyve given me antivirals I've taken one so far, yeah this has been going on for about 5 days now wish I'd of gone to the dr sooner but I was positive it was thrush. I'm also due on any time now. I'm sure that'll make it worse, ouch x

OP posts:
AceSpades54321 · 12/08/2022 15:42

If the nurse used a bottle of lubricant for your smear they may have been cross contamination that way…

Stickmansmum · 12/08/2022 15:43

Meh, I think I read that about 40% of the sexually actively population have it, just many haven’t had a noticeable outbreak.

I have it. First outbreak was 5 yrs into my relationship. Maybe one or two more very minor outbreaks the following year then nothing since (10+ yrs).

it’s actually pretty normal to have it even if you’ve had hardly any partners.

dehloh · 12/08/2022 15:45

Insheerpanic · 12/08/2022 15:40

Theyve given me antivirals I've taken one so far, yeah this has been going on for about 5 days now wish I'd of gone to the dr sooner but I was positive it was thrush. I'm also due on any time now. I'm sure that'll make it worse, ouch x

Get some norethisterine to keep your period at bay.

Sarahlouise86 · 12/08/2022 15:54

Insheerpanic · 12/08/2022 15:40

Theyve given me antivirals I've taken one so far, yeah this has been going on for about 5 days now wish I'd of gone to the dr sooner but I was positive it was thrush. I'm also due on any time now. I'm sure that'll make it worse, ouch x

They can give you different strength antivirals so if in a couple of days things aren't improving then go back and tell them so. Post birth I was so rundown I had a bad outbreak and I had to up the strength. I think I also took l-lysine when I had my first outbreak as I read that could help. Not a clue if it did though!

My outbreaks can often coincide with a period. Being stressed, run down etc is a big trigger factor for me so please do take care of yourself. Talk to your husband when you can, have a bath and try to relax, as hard as that may be. My husband sounds exactly like yours, it's like pulling teeth trying to get him to talk but I think his rather straightforward nature was a big bonus in this situation. Just be clear with him on the facts so he can't misunderstand. It will be ok xx

NellieTheElephant1 · 12/08/2022 15:56

AceSpades54321 · 12/08/2022 15:42

If the nurse used a bottle of lubricant for your smear they may have been cross contamination that way…

Lubricant is in single use sachets for clinical use, no bottles

Blsp · 12/08/2022 16:17

I found that the antivirals affect my mood, it's not an official side effect but i found lots of people online saying the same so maybe worth keeping an eye when you're already feeling so vulnerable. I bought a tub of lemon balm salve and in the 2 outbreaks I've had since, just use that.

Some people use it as prevention by using it at points where they would normally get an outbreak and find it's effective. Have you tried it @Sarahlouise86 ?

AndSoFinally · 12/08/2022 16:36

OP, I wouldn't worry too much about the timing or about the smear test.

Around 40-60% of the population carry herpes, but not everyone gets obvious symptoms.

For a lot of people, they carry it around for years before having their first outbreak, often triggered by a period of stress or low immunity, such as catching another virus.

You could have had this absolutely ages and just never knew about it.

I had a first outbreak around a week after having my second child and had similar thoughts to you about cross contamination during the birth, but I think it's much more likely the stress of the birth just triggered a previously dormant infection 🤷🏻

Original poster
Insheerpanic · 12/08/2022 22:49

I've told DH he's as confused as I am but says he loves me and nothing will ever change that. Only just told him as he'd had a shit day at work bless him and didn't need my worries too. Really really hope its not and cant see how it is but if it is we will deal with it. Thankyou all. Xx

OP posts:
HuffleWoof · 12/08/2022 22:53

@Discovereads you can't not use a sterilised speculum. It's a new packet per patient. To imply the nurse just took the speculum out of a previous patient and used it on op is disgusting

HuffleWoof · 12/08/2022 22:55

@AceSpades54321 we dont use bottles of lube anymore. They're all individual sachets..

Discovereads · 13/08/2022 00:46

HuffleWoof · 12/08/2022 22:53

@Discovereads you can't not use a sterilised speculum. It's a new packet per patient. To imply the nurse just took the speculum out of a previous patient and used it on op is disgusting

I didn’t imply it was the same nurse. Could have been a mix up between staff. Could have been a failure by whoever sterilises them. NHS HCPs have done worse fuck ups, we just only hear about it in the news when someone dies because of one.

Original poster
Insheerpanic · 13/08/2022 09:34

Feeling abit calmer today coming to terms with it. Will wait for confirmation but I doubt 2 drs have got it wrong. I'm just upset about where I got it from thats the only thing niggling at me and is driving me slightly crazy but is what it is I suppose, can't change it or ever really know. Anyone have any tips on how to keep future flare ups at bay/to a minimum?

OP posts:
doobydoobydooooo · 13/08/2022 09:51

Op if it's the common cold sore virus and it's being laying dormant then things can trigger it. Stress or being run down, the pain from the smear. You might have this flare up and then never have another one.

Use an ice pack, and ask if it's ok to use cold sore cream in your vagina (not vulva obviously). I'm not sure as I get them around my backside and I use it there.

stclair · 13/08/2022 10:26

@Discovereads speculums are single use - they go in the bin after ONE use. As do the gloves and lube sachets etc. Reusable speculums haven’t been around for years. No-one (apart from the manufacturer) does any sterilising.

Net123456 · 13/08/2022 14:05

I'm not sure if it's been mentioned as haven't read all replies only your posts but did you start using the thrush cream before you noticed any blisters? If so check the side effects of the cream as blisters can be one of them.

Stickmansmum · 13/08/2022 14:09

Op your body will most likely keep future flare ups at bay! After a few the vast majority of people never get another flare up!

But anti virals as early as possible is the best quick cure if you do.

Discovereads · 13/08/2022 14:46

stclair · 13/08/2022 10:26

@Discovereads speculums are single use - they go in the bin after ONE use. As do the gloves and lube sachets etc. Reusable speculums haven’t been around for years. No-one (apart from the manufacturer) does any sterilising.

Wasn’t a disposable single use one at my smear test 5 months ago. It was the heavier steel re-usable type. Oh, and look here’s an NHS supplier of them…so obviously they are still around.
baileyinstruments.co.uk/product-category/gynaecology-instruments/speculums-gyna/?filter_single-reusable-at=reusable

HuffleWoof · 13/08/2022 15:24

@Discovereads yes the metal ones exist. They're not common but they exist. They're bagged up and sent back to the people who sterilise them and then sent back to the gp surgery or operating theatre. But they come in a sterile bag, you don't just get a load of metal speculums open to the world pick one out like pic n mix, use it and then drop it back in the box.

Each one has a unique sticker on the bag and that sticker has to go in the patients notes so it can be traced and identified if there is an issue with the equipment. You can't reuse them because there is only enough stickers for 1 patient.

However you seem hell bent on saying that nurses reuse dirty speculums so maybe you should get some help?

Discovereads · 13/08/2022 15:49

HuffleWoof · 13/08/2022 15:24

@Discovereads yes the metal ones exist. They're not common but they exist. They're bagged up and sent back to the people who sterilise them and then sent back to the gp surgery or operating theatre. But they come in a sterile bag, you don't just get a load of metal speculums open to the world pick one out like pic n mix, use it and then drop it back in the box.

Each one has a unique sticker on the bag and that sticker has to go in the patients notes so it can be traced and identified if there is an issue with the equipment. You can't reuse them because there is only enough stickers for 1 patient.

However you seem hell bent on saying that nurses reuse dirty speculums so maybe you should get some help?

Im not “hell bent” on saying nurses knowingly reuse dirty speculums as I didn’t even say that- it’s what someone else who felt like being offended inferred. I only said that it’s a possibility that some cross contamination might have happened unintentionally or “the people who sterilise them” might have messed up. It’s rather you & others that seems hell bent on saying it’s impossible.

I also mentioned another possibility that it could be an allergic reaction to the lube- which is not impossible either and can cause lesions and blisters as well. But no one seems so invested in saying that is impossible.

Blsp · 13/08/2022 16:53

There are measures you can take including lifestyle changes and supplements to help prevent outbreaks, but there's not much point in putting yourself out unless you start getting recurring outbreaks. You may well not.

Lemon balm salve, epsom salts and vagisil help if you do get a sore. I haven't taken antivirals for recurring outbreaks, I've had 2 further outbreaks, both were just one sore, not somewhere where they stung when i went for a wee which was the worst thing about my first outbreak.

Did the sexual health clinic say herpes as well?

Original poster
Insheerpanic · 13/08/2022 21:33

Thankyou @Blsp ill take note incase I have any in the future. No the clinic took a sample from the area and said I'd hear within 2 weeks. She said she couldn't tell me if it was or it wasn't, she asked me about lots of other symptoms which I didnt have and said she struggled to see them so God knows. I'm coming to terms with the fact I have and just think it is what it is. Nothing I can do about it so why worry about it, I've been through much much worse. Not sure how it will effect my future sex life though? Can I have unprotected sex with my husband, can i receive oral/will I ever want to without been petrified ill infect him. I am a worrier anyway so will be hard for me but the clinic removed the stigma instantly by telling me how common it was and didn't mean anyone had done anything wrong it just appears when it chooses and I may have many outbreaks or none at all.

Thankyou all for the ongoing advice and support it really has got me through it! Me and hubby have spoken alot today too. But omg the antivirals how bloody thirsty do they make you!!! And did anyone else have a chaffing feeling?! Under my bum cheeks on my thighs I have no marks at all but it feels like chaffing.. very strange

OP posts:
Blsp · 13/08/2022 21:39

You can have unprotected sex providing you don't have a sore. Only impact it needs to have on your sex life is not doing it if you have a sore.

Has it nearly cleared up? My first outbreak i must have had, no exaggeration, 30 sores. It started with 2. It was maybe 3 days later when the clinic saw me and it was very obvious to her what it was. I was covered, it was the worst pain I've ever felt X

Discovereads · 13/08/2022 23:35

@Blsp

You can have unprotected sex providing you don't have a sore.
No she can’t as it could be passed on, unless he has it already too then it won’t matter. Can’t believe I’m correcting you for the 2nd time on this fact. You can pass on herpes without any sores!

The WHO:
”HSV-2 is mainly transmitted during sex through contact with genital or anal surfaces, skin, sores or fluids of someone infected with the virus. HSV-2 can be transmitted even if the skin looks normal and is often transmitted in the absence of symptoms.” www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-virus