Book icks

[butimamonstersaidthemonster]

I love hearing peoples biggest book icks.

I hate when plot holes are explained by characters being so rich that they have access to technology that doesn’t exist.
I hate when a character is paralysed and then it turns out that they were faking it - you can’t fake it for months or in some books years!
I hate when books are described as ‘the next gone girl’ like it isn’t a major spoiler.

I'm sure I have loads more I can’t think of right now.

Just in time to solve Bessie's mystery (she died in the place of Anne Boleyn, being her identical twin but separated at birth,

And she goes to the block saying 'It's a far far better thing that I do now than I have ever done....' because Bessie too has a Tragic Past and she's doing this to expiate her crime.

Haha. I was definitely getting A Tale of Two Cities vibes as I was writing that. Also The Prince and the Pauper, Vice Versa, etcetera, etcetera.......

There's nothing new under the Sun.

Edit: Maybe not Vice Versa, that's Body Swap rather than Mistaken Identity, a genre I have rather enjoyed since seeing the original Freaky Friday with Jodie Foster (who I've had a bit of a crush on ever since).

It is a far, far Bessie thing….

🤨 mr perfect? Did you read book 5?

When she looks in her mirror to describe her reflection. Lasg. And then how average she thinks she is when it’s being described as beautiful.

Whereas if anyone, whether a fictional character or a Mumsnetter, turned up on my doorstep they'd be offered a selection of biscuits. I couldn't casually fling a salad together but I could give you a rib-sticking dinner with all allergies and foibles catered for. If I was writing chick-lit I'd have to base a character on my Auntie Maureen, whose standard response to visitors, expected or not, is to set out a generous afternoon tea and say, "Och, it's only a wee biscuit," even now that she's in her late eighties.

I get a bit icked-out by women fawning round ghastly men. Heathcliffe, of course, and Tom Tulliver, and the odious Nelson from the Ruth Galloway novels (I can't be doing with the saintly weirdo Cathbad either), and Roux from the Chocolat novels, and Temperance Brennan's batshit attraction to Andrew Ryan.

Whereas if anyone, whether a fictional character or a Mumsnetter, turned up on my doorstep they'd be offered a selection of biscuits. I couldn't casually fling a salad together but I could give you a rib-sticking dinner with all allergies and foibles catered for. If I was writing chick-lit I'd have to base a character on my Auntie Maureen, whose standard response to visitors, expected or not, is to set out a generous afternoon tea and say, "Och, it's only a wee biscuit," even now that she's in her late eighties.

I get a bit icked-out by women fawning round ghastly men. Heathcliffe, of course, and Tom Tulliver, and the odious Nelson from the Ruth Galloway novels (I can't be doing with the saintly weirdo Cathbad either), and Roux from the Chocolat novels, and Temperance Brennan's batshit attraction to Andrew Ryan.

Whereas if anyone, whether a fictional character or a Mumsnetter, turned up on my doorstep they'd be offered a selection of biscuits. I couldn't casually fling a salad together but I could give you a rib-sticking dinner with all allergies and foibles catered for. If I was writing chick-lit I'd have to base a character on my Auntie Maureen, whose standard response to visitors, expected or not, is to set out a generous afternoon tea and say, "Och, it's only a wee biscuit," even now that she's in her late eighties.

I get a bit icked-out by women fawning round ghastly men. Heathcliffe, of course, and Tom Tulliver, and the odious Nelson from the Ruth Galloway novels (I can't be doing with the saintly weirdo Cathbad either), and Roux from the Chocolat novels, and Temperance Brennan's batshit attraction to Andrew Ryan.

Whereas if anyone, whether a fictional character or a Mumsnetter, turned up on my doorstep they'd be offered a selection of biscuits. I couldn't casually fling a salad together but I could give you a rib-sticking dinner with all allergies and foibles catered for. If I was writing chick-lit I'd have to base a character on my Auntie Maureen, whose standard response to visitors, expected or not, is to set out a generous afternoon tea and say, "Och, it's only a wee biscuit," even now that she's in her late eighties.

I get a bit icked-out by women fawning round ghastly men. Heathcliffe, of course, and Tom Tulliver, and the odious Nelson from the Ruth Galloway novels (I can't be doing with the saintly weirdo Cathbad either), and Roux from the Chocolat novels, and Temperance Brennan's batshit attraction to Andrew Ryan.

the odious Nelson from the Ruth Galloway novels

Ah, I rather like the fact that Nelson is a git.

Yes, and there'll be a scenario where he appears to be in a passionate clinch with icy ex but there'll be a completely innocent explanation, like it was for the benefit of the ex's pet hamster who was pining away at them splitting up.

Yes, and there'll be a scenario where he appears to be in a passionate clinch with icy ex but there'll be a completely innocent explanation

But Ice Bitch will have deliberately given Jacintha the impression they're getting back together, or had never really broken up, because she thinks she can lift her finger and he'll come running

I don’t think this is what happens? Spoilers ahead. The Count befriends Nina as a child . When she returns aged about 18/20 she has become very political and goes off with like- minded friends to help peasant farmers. However she falls foul of the authorities and entrusts her daughter Sofia to the Count as she has no one else. Nina dies in Siberia. The only person the Count has a relationship with
is Anna, who is an actress, about the same age as him. It is a while since I read it but I think his relationship with Nina is perfectly innocent.

Yes I like him and Ruth even though she is slightly irritating

Joanne Harris is a good writer and I enjoyed her latest book Vianne but the way she always takes off and she is so virtuous gets on my nerves and her mother who is referred but not in the books is awful (don’t want to spoil the plots etc)

@pollyhemlock - yes! I thought that pp was wrong. The Gentleman in Moscow was loyal to his old love and not a perv! I enjoyed the book: it was different. Not like all the examples in this thread!

Also, why do all heroines (especially those in peril) have untamed curls which they “scrape up into a messy bun” ? Can a heroine not have hair “as straight as a yard of pump water” as my grandmother would say?

I gave up on Celia Imran’s book when someone who worked in a job centre referred to themselves as a ‘clerk’, but it was meant to be modern times.

I hate when characters are ‘madcap’. Looking at you Dawn French

Hm I don't think this is the plot? The Count has a long relationship with a glamorous actress who enters his life as an adult and his contemporary. He treats Nina, and then Ninas child, as his own. Always a gentleman. I loved that book, btw

Oh sorry realised that others had already pointed this out!

A bit of Anna/Nina confusion, perhaps? As others have said, don't give your characters similar names!

I wouldn’t want anyone to be put off A Gentleman in Moscow by getting the wrong idea. He would scarcely be a Gentleman if he seduced Nina!

Historical novels with a female character who is totally anachronistically 21st century. Usually the main character is a man but he needs someone to share the adventure/solve the mystery/overthrow the baddies. And the possibility of a romance element between the two means the make her a woman. And this woman has to have 21st century thoughts and sense of self to join in on equal terms.

But my main gripe is the detective (whether professional or accidental) gets to unmask the killer in a one on one setting where the (previously normal seeming) character, now known to be the killer is in fact a psychopath who attacks the detective in a place where no one else is around. The killer usually has a line like “but you just wouldn’t let it go!” to the detective. I can’t remember the last contemporary murder story where that HASN’T happened. Then the detective gets away through some ludicrous means; usually ending up in hospital

when old people are really “old”. Even the richard osman books with powerful characters have amazing ex spy elizabeth who can do absolutely anything, but then she’ll turn her nose up in confusion at modern technology.

My very average grandparents in their 90s have worked out the ipad! And my mum in her 70s is pretty glam. Im only in my 30s but I can already see how much ageism sucks.

@butimamonstersaidthemonsteri know a woman who was wheel chair bound my whole life. When she ended up in a nursing home with dementia she started walking around with no problems. Turns out she’d been faking for 25 years +.