Odd experience trying to choose books for a non-reading young woman

[MsAmerica]

I recently met a hair stylist who I'd guess to be still in her late teens. Very cute, very chatty, but I was horrified by what she told me of her schooling. She basically didn't have much, although technically has a high school diploma. She also doesn't usually read, although she told me she's reading a self-help book and would like to read more, because she understands that it's a "good" thing to do.

So I thought maybe I'd try to bring something next time, and asked a forum for suggestions. I said I'd love to get her a few easy cheap paperbacks, good-quality fiction that she might really enjoy, not junk. And not fantasy. If it were a 30 year-old man, I might get him something like "Of Mice and Men" which has the advantage of being actual literature AND short AND with simple language. But it's too downbeat for a young woman just starting out. I couldn't immediately come up with anything except O.Henry short stories.

The first problem was although I said she was a working person in her late teens, I made the mistake of using the word "girl," and everyone in the forum started suggesting children's books. Several suggested fantasy, although I clearly said I didn't want that. (A few even chided me for wanting to give books to a non-reader at all.)

The second problem is that it really did turn out that everything I could think of would be more suitable for a young man, and everything seemed to be very downbeat.

Funny how much reading is gendered.

I'm very old and have had a lifetime of people introducing fellow adults to a new thing they think they'd like by trying some good example.

It is the normal human habit and experience,

Did that post come from a human?

Crime fiction, even copic caper crime fiction, however well written and readable (Evanovich is remarkable) is not intended for 12 year olds.

Crime fiction, even copic caper crime fiction, however well written and readable (Evanovich is remarkable) is not intended for 12 year olds.

My 12 year old Agatha Christie reading self would beg to differ.

I’m an avid reader and have been since childhood, I was never ‘persuaded’ to read I just ‘took to it’ and my father who was himself a great reader was happy to encourage me but I’m firmly of the belief that there are readers and non-readers and you’ll never persuade one to be the other, may I also suggest you don’t ‘presume’ to choose something you believe she might like, I know you mean well but I recently took a large bag of books to the charity shop, all brand new, unread or part read, that non-reading family and friends thought I might like at one time or another.

'Intended for' and 'enjoyed by' are two different things. I pondered suggesting Christie, but think if the woman hasn't been a reader until now, Stephanie's New Jersey might seem more familiar than Christie's mid-century assumptions about class and culture. And Dame Agatha's oeuvre will be something for her to discover for herself in due time.

My dd (early twenties) never took to reading despite us being a booky household.

Her saying ‘she’d like to read more books’ doesn’t mean she ever will. It’s one of those things people say like ‘I’d like to do more baking’ or ‘I’d like to learn Spanish’.

Just leave it op.

If this person hasnt asked you to step in then dont.

Wow, I can't even imagine how carefully scrubbed your mind must be if you regulate yourself so carefully to be goodthinkful that you never have a rude thought.

I think I'll disagree about gender - in particular I think men are much less likely to read books by women or about women.

I think a woman would definitely read Of Mice and Men! But I'd just hesitate to start her off with such a downbeat book.

No, I'm saying that men are less likely to gravitate to books written by and about women.

For that matter, in the book clubs that I've encountered, which tend to be all-women, their reading choices are also disproportionately women authors.

I once turned a non-reader into a reader. I started giving him science fiction, like easy Ray Bradbury and then moved up from there. Eventually, he was reading Ivanhoe, which is a pretty big leap. But I saw him every day, and it took a long time. In this case, I won't be seeing her regularly, and I figure I only have one or two shots at it, so I'm thinking about it more carefully.

I love "literary Pringles"!

Some of the reactions here baffled me.
Do you feel hurt or embarrassed if a client or boss gives you a little something based on a past conversation? Most people I know would be tickled.

No, she talked about reading at length and wasn't just being polite.

And, excuse me, but with the appalling amount of ignorance in the world, I'll educate anyone if the opportunity presents itself, and I think others should, too.

Not at all. The person paying for the gift gets to make the choice. All the more so here, since she can't choose for herself.

For a young woman who's read little-to-nothing of note, I think it should be something well-written & engaging, but not daunting - & ideally contemporary. A novel that I think would fit the bill is David Nicholls. I enjoyed it - but the younger women in my office at that time were obsessed with it!

I also think short stories would be a good start - especially as they're ...short!!! Some favourite modern short story authors of mine are William Trevor, Edna O'Brien, Tessa Hadley, Michel Faber & Claire Keegan. But an even better starting point than a collection of one author's work would be something like That Glimpse of Truth: The 100 Finest Short Stories Ever Written, compiled by David Miller. They're almost certainly not (the finest short stories ever written) - they're just the anthologist's favourites - but he is an excellent editor & it's a great collection!

Maybe a voucher for a bookstore?

This explains nothing. So fantasy is fine for a man but not for a woman? Or you regret giving him fantasy even though it clearly had the desired effect?

You say you're thinking about "it" more carefully but are you thinking about HER and what SHE might want to read?

You are one (we assume) woman and you've an idea of what you want to give her. We are a pretty large cross-section of (mostly) women and we seem to agree that your requirements are very limiting. Statistically speaking, do you think it's more likely that your hairdresser will agree with you or everyone else on the thread?

Please, for the love of all that is good, can you explain your reasoning. Please.

If the gift is for someone, it should be something they want - not something that makes you happy.

And she absolutely can choose for herself if you actually took time to ask her what she liked and was interested in. This is a weird, weird attitude.

So why be so dogmatic?

Yes I would be embarrassed, I expect she is good at her job because she engages her customers and pretends to be interested in what they say.

The dogmatic attitude you display makes me doubt you would be able to choose a book that suited her. My family are all avid readers and we often discuss books. There is no way that I would feel confident to choose a book for any of them.

i will be really interested in what you choose and hope you will keep us updated..

Cos she's a thicko?

I suspect the OP is enjoying being deliberately contrarian here …

I’m out!

Would you be ‘tickled’ to know that a boss or client had posted about your poor education and semi-literacy on a public forum, while admitting you were ‘cute’ and ‘chatty’?

Well if we ever meet I’m happy to have a try but will accept defeat graciously if it doesn’t work 😀