Odd experience trying to choose books for a non-reading young woman

[MsAmerica]

I recently met a hair stylist who I'd guess to be still in her late teens. Very cute, very chatty, but I was horrified by what she told me of her schooling. She basically didn't have much, although technically has a high school diploma. She also doesn't usually read, although she told me she's reading a self-help book and would like to read more, because she understands that it's a "good" thing to do.

So I thought maybe I'd try to bring something next time, and asked a forum for suggestions. I said I'd love to get her a few easy cheap paperbacks, good-quality fiction that she might really enjoy, not junk. And not fantasy. If it were a 30 year-old man, I might get him something like "Of Mice and Men" which has the advantage of being actual literature AND short AND with simple language. But it's too downbeat for a young woman just starting out. I couldn't immediately come up with anything except O.Henry short stories.

The first problem was although I said she was a working person in her late teens, I made the mistake of using the word "girl," and everyone in the forum started suggesting children's books. Several suggested fantasy, although I clearly said I didn't want that. (A few even chided me for wanting to give books to a non-reader at all.)

The second problem is that it really did turn out that everything I could think of would be more suitable for a young man, and everything seemed to be very downbeat.

Funny how much reading is gendered.

Beth O’Leary books are popular with the young females I know. And Dawn O’Porter.
If she’s not a reader I wouldn’t start with anything too heavy.

Why wouldn't a woman read Of Mice and Men?
Don't get too stuck on fiction. Reluctant readers will often enjoy non-fiction, maybe an autobiography or one of those Fearne Cotton books.

If the first few pages don't grab her I don't know what will 😊

Also, the important thing with reading is knowing it's OK to DNF if a book doesn't grab you, in the same way it's OK to watch the first in a TV series and decide you aren't invested enough to watch the rest. Reading should be apleasure above everything else. So maybe say if you want to start reading more then look in the library, you can read the first few pages of some books you like the look of and then decide if you want to keep reading.

Malorie Blackman Noughts and Crosses?

I so much want to like Terry Pratchett - on paper the books tick all my boxes. DH is a fan and I've tried many of his books, but for some reason I just can't get into them. I think it's impossible to define what makes books engaging to some people, but not others.

Jodi Taylor's books are very engaging, particularly the St Mary's series. I agree about Wyrd Sisters, would also try the Tiffany Aching books.
I think expecting a non reader to start off with Steinbeck or Austen is unrealistic.

Buy her "The Secret" by Byrne. 😎 She's a lot more likely to read that than anything else. It also has huge font and is super easy to read.

As for your patronising sexist 💩 what are you even talking about?! How are books gendered?!? Are you saying only men can appreciate sophisticated literature? I don't know how my feeble brain could comprehend Tolstoy or Dostoevsky... but I somehow managed ok 👍

It depends on how exactly you met this hair stylist...
If she was cutting your hair, don't take her a book next time that's very weird and intrusive.
But if she's your nephew's new girlfriend, say, by all means give her one book you think she might enjoy.

I think this is a sweet gesture for someone who is interested in reading more but your "rules" for what you will and won't give her seem a little odd (unless you can clarify that these are her preferences). Especially Of Mice and Men being described as "real literature" but then saying "no fantasy" as if Lord of the Rings isn't high quality....

I was going to suggest books I have read and enjoyed recently that light and easy with engaging characters and a simple plot but it's fantasy.

I was also going to suggest some young adult novels as they tend to be topics that are more relatable to a younger person and slightly simpler language but they're not as patronising as actual children's books. Yet you appear to have written them off too.

I appreciated that "doesn't read much" isn't synonymous with "can't read" and "isn't intelligent enough for grown up books" but you really do need to start with something that will grab attention and be easy to get through. I'd put "slice of life fantasy" (the book I was going to suggest) in there quicker than an historical novel they teach in sometimes dry GCSE English Literature lessons.

Surely it depends do much on her interests?

I'd suggest the Good Girls Guide to Murder series.

Fantasy seems to be hugely popular at the minute- Forth Wing series and the Witcherlys are "romantasy" options loved by a lot of the teens that I know. (Forth wing was recommended to me by another adult!!)

I don't really know anything about establishing and feeding a reading habit other than my own memories of doing so as a child, which might not be relevant for an adult. However, what I remember is getting into a particular writer (Enid Blyton) and reading everything of hers I could get hold of. School stories, the Famous Five, adventure stories, fairy stories, pixie books, books about odd little characters like Mr Pink-Whistle, Noddy, etc...Blyton works at that level because she's enormously prolific and writes across a range of genres. She's basically literary Pringles. On that basis, there isn't much room for literary snobbery here; if you want to convince this young lady that reading is the best thing ever, you're looking at YA, (eg Philip Pullman) fantasy, crime (eg Agatha Christie) gangland thrillers by writers like Martina Cole, fat, immersive time-slips like Outlander, family sagas, what we called sex and shopping novels in the 1980s...reading for improvement isn't in the driving seat. Reading for fun is what will pull her in.

Agree

It's probably better for her to start on trashy books.

I was forced to read really boring books in Primary school. It really turned me off. It was only by chance I got into books again in High School.

If she’s a non reader but is giving a self help book a go, I’d recommend The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.

I actually think kids/teen books are a really good choice, years ago now I asked on mumsnet for book recommendations for myself as I just hadn’t read anything since school enforced reading.

people suggested all sorts of what is probably amazing classic stuff but honestly the things that drew me in were the Harry Potter ones, the jacquline Wilson ones, princess diaries, looks of teen fiction type things, it was my gateway drug to going down the reading path!

Anyone else feeling sorry for the hairstylist? OP, you mean well but please don't buy her any books. It's a really nice idea but it puts her under pressure to read them and report back to you next time you're in.

"Yeah, I should read more. I'd like to but never seem to have the time" - if she says something like that, she's probably just being polite. Don't lecture or bully her into reading.

She might be happy just reading the self-help book - or that might encourage her to look at other books. Let her go on her own journey. You have ideas on what she should and should not read which sounds old fashioned! If she's just starting to read, she might prefer the "trashy" books! Or she may never read another book ever again. That's ok!

I'd drop the subject. She knows you read, if she wants your recommendations, she'll ask. Don't become "that bloody book woman" she dreads dealing with.

If she does ask you about books and seems genuinely interested in reading (and not just being polite), you could perhaps get her a £10 giftcard for Waterstones or whatever bookshop is nearby. You could do it around Christmas. Part of the love of reading is going into a shop and choosing a new book.

Several suggested fantasy, although I clearly said I didn't want that
How do you know she wouldn't enjoy a fantasy though, you're making it about you and your preferences. Fantasy/Romantasy is having a huge moment right now, a lot of it written by women for women shocker!
Legends and Lattes is a quick read, funny, warm and easy to get into, I'm not a huge fantasy reader and I enjoyed it immensely.

@Tortielady ”Literary Pringles,” I love it! Going straight in my lexicon. I appreciate fine literature and fine dining, but actually what more often hits the spot is a Waterstones 3 for 2 thriller and a tub of Pringles!

There was a junior at the hairdressers I used to go to years ago in London who said she had literally only read three books in her life other than whatever had been required for GCSE (and she’d failed English, I think), and all three were Katie Price pony books.

Strangely, I did not seize the opportunity to make her read Steinbeck. I have a DPhil in English Literature, and read voraciously, but having to read Of Mice and Men would make me want to shoot myself.

OP you sound well-meaning but the whole scenario is strange and from this you’re coming off quite (unintentionally) patronising. There’s no need for you to be “horrified” at her schooling - it’s nothing to do with you and she apparently gets by professionally with no problems despite it. Describing a professional woman as “very cute” and a “girl” is condescending. She is likely just being polite to you, particularly if you’ve met her in the context of her work, and it’s strange that you’re putting so much time into considering this. I would forget it and if you’re really keen to, I echo PP’s suggestion of a book voucher for Christmas so she can make her own decision. Kindly, she doesn’t need to be made into someone’s Eliza Doolittle project.
As an aside, your idea about books being gendered is bizarre and quite sexist. Women who enjoy reading can read whatever they want. Classics are not reserved for men.

Agree with other posters; unless she very clearly asked you to buy her a book, don’t.

if she did, then in the name of all that’s holy, ditch your ideas about needing to read ‘literature’, gendered books, adult only and no fantasy.

There are lots of Young Adult books that are a great route into reading, and which many adults read. You could suggest, for example, that she joins one of the online reading groups who settle down with the Dark is Rising each winter solstice, and read a chapter a day until the New Year.

And as the mother of an adult child who doesn’t read fiction for pleasure, please don’t be a snob about how everyone should. He reads technical stuff that makes my eyes hurt, reads lots of non-fiction (he has an encyclopaedic knowledge about several sports and geology, for example), but every bloody year someone gives him a novel for Christmas, and every Boxing Day, he gives it to me.

My PhD supervisor recommended Fourth Wing. I'm doing research on the short uncanny story in the early twentieth century, which in itself spans the popular, middlebrow and highbrow (all kinds of writers produce short stories.) It's nice to have a break from beautifully crafted little gems where every word counts, for a wallow in something big and fat and expansive.

Please don’t do this. This sounds like something people say like, I am should exercise more, I should travel more. There will be pressure on her of stranger buying her book

in addition your view on what she would like seems way off kilter. I think she would be embarrassed by the gift or feel patronised by it.

I completely agree with @Rictasmorticia

As an avid reader, this thread has made me cringe.

If someone wants to read, they will read. Unless it is somebody you know very well, so a parent, child, sibling, I would say do not presume that your choice of reading material will be appreciated. What you describe sounds like a polite, throwaway comment.

There's nothing wrong with a young adult reading a children's book, if that's what they will enjoy. I bought Claire Barker's Hettie Nettle book last week for DD, and I absolutely love it myself!