Odd experience trying to choose books for a non-reading young woman

[MsAmerica]

I recently met a hair stylist who I'd guess to be still in her late teens. Very cute, very chatty, but I was horrified by what she told me of her schooling. She basically didn't have much, although technically has a high school diploma. She also doesn't usually read, although she told me she's reading a self-help book and would like to read more, because she understands that it's a "good" thing to do.

So I thought maybe I'd try to bring something next time, and asked a forum for suggestions. I said I'd love to get her a few easy cheap paperbacks, good-quality fiction that she might really enjoy, not junk. And not fantasy. If it were a 30 year-old man, I might get him something like "Of Mice and Men" which has the advantage of being actual literature AND short AND with simple language. But it's too downbeat for a young woman just starting out. I couldn't immediately come up with anything except O.Henry short stories.

The first problem was although I said she was a working person in her late teens, I made the mistake of using the word "girl," and everyone in the forum started suggesting children's books. Several suggested fantasy, although I clearly said I didn't want that. (A few even chided me for wanting to give books to a non-reader at all.)

The second problem is that it really did turn out that everything I could think of would be more suitable for a young man, and everything seemed to be very downbeat.

Funny how much reading is gendered.

👀

Hmm …

I’ve also had the experience of befriending a young woman who, in this case, had never read a novel since leaving school at 16. The thing is, there’s no telling what another person might find thrilling, or even mildly absorbing - and I’d suggest it’s vaguely ridiculous to want to censor ’downbeat’ literature. Huge tragedy can be just as uplifting to read as old school Mills & Boon.

I don’t really understand your ‘easy cheap paperbacks’ comment. Isn’t she likely to find kindle on her phone more approachable and convenient?

And I’m doubly confused by your separating of books into suitable for male and female readers! Takes me right back to book lists from the 70s. People want to be swept up in character and plot - as human beings we are perfectly capable of empathising with protagonists who are not just like us.

My non-reading friend picked out

Therese Raquin

and adored it.

I can’t imagine anyone not being made breathless by, for instance:

My Brilliant Friend
Rogue Male
The Franchise Affair
A House For Mr Biswas
Gaudy Night

And can you explain why you don’t want her to read any fantasy? (Not that it’s your choice.) No Tolkien / Susan Cooper / Philip Pullman? No Narnia? Heavens!

Of Mice and Men is taught in schools, and is likely to have that association. And most young people find the racist language that is used in it offensive which means it's not as accessible as you seem to think.

I'd not actually give her a book, you are her customer and she was no doubt being polite when she said she knew it was a good thing to do. At most I'd suggest you ask her what films or TV shows she likes to watch and then point out if any of them were based on books. Or maybe ask if she reads when on holiday (classic time for 'non readers' to actually read). And certainly don't expect her to go from a self help book to reading something like Of Mice and Men. You need to build up your reading endurance and a lot of classic short novels are very dense so are harder reading than a longer 'bonkbuster' type novel.

I don’t think there’s anything at all wrong with suggesting children’s books for a late teenage non-reader.

I'd suggest to start with popular contemporary fiction, and nothing too tome-like. Have a look at current bestsellers which are easy to read and gripping.

Much as I adore Dorothy L. Sayers and Gaudy Night, I'd never recommend it to a young woman who was not already an avid reader and widely read @TroubledBloodyMary

Don’t be a book snob. Someone who has never been in to reading may well find something you deem “junk” an accessible way in to reading. Some young adult fantasy would be a perfectly good suggestion for a young adult.

And reading isn’t gendered. People’s interests often are, but you don’t seem to have made any enquiries as to her interests to know them.

I'd suggest

The New Neighbours - Claire Douglas

Snap - Belinda Bauer

And as she likes self help, other non-fiction may appeal.

The Courage To Be Disliked - Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.

A court of thorn and roses is a great start

I don't think reading is gendered at all. My dh and my teen son and I all read the same books if one of us has read it and thinks it's good. There are so many books out there I can't believe you are unable to find something she would like.

Also nothing wrong with teen fiction. If I were buying books for a young adult I would consider the following, all of which I've read as an adult. The Harry Potter books, The Hunger Games books or the Twilight books. Or anything else which has been made into a film or TV series.

I think I would go down the holiday reads route. Quick page-turners to whoosh you along with character and story.

The last book I read on holiday, picked up from the shelf that holidaymakers left books on for others, was The Maid by Nita Prose. It was absorbing and a quick read. Judging by how well thumbed it was, many holidaymakers had read it before me (compared to far more serious looking lit on the borrowing shelf)!

But there’s also the possibility that being given a book means being less likely to want to read it as it then feels like a pressure (rather than pleasure) to read and feedback to the person. Or is that just me?

If I did this, it would be something I enjoyed I think. I would also avoid anything from another era myself.

Kate Atkinson’s short stories might be a goer? Normal Rules Don’t Apply?

But it sounds as if this may be an American scenario (high school diploma). Just pondering that.

Ooh! Fundamentally by Nussaibah Younis. Read this recently and it’s a rackety, funny, urgent novel with lots going on. Still quite British focused though.

Has she mentioned any movies, TV or podcasts that she likes?

I’d go for easy going reads like Cathy Casidy or Meg Cabot. Maybe Colleen Hoover.

One of my favourite books is a children’s book by Elizabeth Goudge. I also enjoy Winnie the Pooh, which is full of stuff an adult would appreciate but which goes over a child’s head.

Why not fantasy? Fantasy can be a lovely introduction to reading. Reading doesn’t have to be worthy.

I would suggest Wyrd Sisters, by Terry Pratchett. It’s an excellent, entertaining, fantasy novel centred on three well-drawn female protagonists.

The young women (20s) at my work all love Colleen Hoover. I read some of them and it was a great talking point for a few months, even got the ones who don’t read to actually pick up a book. They cover subjects they’re interested in: relationships, domestic violence etc.
That opened up discussions about feminism, got them into The Handmaid’s Tales.

We’re on holiday, DD has brought a Sally Rooney book with her.

Young adult novels that they have made movies of....
The Poet X or anything else by Elizabeth Acevedo.

John Green books

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo
The Rom-Commers by Katherine Center
Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan

I'd definitely be going with a good old fashioned beach holiday page turner. Marian Keyes springs to mind. Easy to read, easy story to follow and a bit of fun. There are tons of these styles of books.
Reading books needs to be fun ... then the "proper" literature can follow if she enjoys it.

Marion Keyes.

I thougth My Brilliant Friend was shite, frankly 😄 Reading is supposed to be fun. Don’t give her a worthy punishment read that’s the equivalent of All Bran.

My friend lost the ability to read books during chemo. She couldn’t concentrate and now the thought of reading a large novel gives her real fear.

I bought her 12+ mystery books and she’s devoured them. It’s helped her regain her love of reading. I wouldn’t put too much literary pressure on her. Start with enjoyable stories that don’t take much effort to read.

I can see why you responded the way you have and it's lovely to want to support this young woman with reading! But I do think you have to be careful not to get snobby about reading. Reading anything long form is great and as someone who did English lit I still love some 'schlock' as it were. Dan Brown is honestly a guilty pleasure but I read The Da Vinci Code at 14 and thought it was awesome, it's a real page turner and I read his others too. Same with Thomas Harris' Hannibal books, not high literature but also good. I associate Of Mice and Men with school and many people will, it's a brutal and bleak story and while I think it's very good I am not sure I would recommend it.

I would really recommend The Hunger Games books in this situation - they're young adult, with a young woman protagonist and very accessible. She may have watched the films (which I also love)

If you wanted to go 'highbrow' I would choose The Ballad of the Sad Cafe by Carson McCullers. That book was on my uni reading list in first year and it changed my life.

How about Blue Sisters by Co Co Mellors . I’ve read it ( M , 57 ) after my daughter and enjoyed the portrayal of sisters and their sibling relationships, actually a fairly easy read IMHO .

What about good old Pride and Prejudice? Great writing, not downbeat, not a complex plot or language. And she can watch one of the multiple film or TV adaptations alongside or afterwards if that helps her to enjoy it.

What about Oranges in No Man’s Land? Dd brought this home from school but I enjoyed it. It’s simply written but a great story.

I have two DDs and sometimes read their books. I enjoy a Jacqueline Wilson!