Mills & Boon - just loaned my first one from the library

[SecondUsername4me]

I've only ever heard women I know read these who are 60+ so I'm not sure if it's a sign that I'm ageing prematurely (35) or just because I'm looking for quick reads and the walls of books at the library are overwhelming to sift through.

Any good? Are they still writing them? If I enjoy them is it feasible to read the back catalogue?

I've been through the Richard & Judy Book Club back catalogue and am fully up to date on the Reese Witherspoon Book Club back catalogue, so looking for another stack to work through.

Any particularly good stories I should look out for?

They are terrible. You will love them.

I'm 64 - it was women 60+ who read them when I was a teen :) I read a couple of them years ago - found them hilarious, and often thought about trying to write one. Hope you enjoy yours!

Haha brilliant!

Absolutely awful.... But I love em 😅

They are my guilty pleasure. I’m fond of the historical themed ones - love the escapism!

There are probably millions so doing the back catalogue will take you some time.
They are great, but quite formulaic so I can only read a few in any given three month period (I read a book every week or so).

I read them as a child, all the books my gran had in the house. I think I liked them.

Oh god I read these when I was a teenager (in my 40s now) as they were in the library. Absolutely awful 😂

I had to look then up after seeing this thread and they are still being churned out!

It doesn't matter much which one you read, there is a formula!
I worked in a library in about 2000 and lots of ladies used to get an entire stack of them every week. One week one of the ladies came up to the desk to complain that one of them was rude. I was fairly new and this was the first complaint I'd had about the content of the book. I asked my manager what to do. Of course she said highlight the rude bits and out it in the staff room! We all had a giggle then returned it to the shelf.

I suppose that's the benefit of them being around for a hundred years - lots of genres to pick from

As a teen I could finish one in an afternoon. Absolutely guilty pleasure.

Designed to get you all hormonal and they are addictive!

Enjoy, but you'll probably get bored quickly! I read my mother's collection as a teen in the 80's & remember 2 of the main formulas:

Girl meets Boy (GMB) and they experience instant hate. Circumstances conspire to put them together (trapped in a lift, locked in a room, marooned on deserted island). They fall in love, he stares at her in that special way and it's suddenly ON.

GMB, opposing forces keep them apart. They fall in love & it's ON. They seemed to go from 0 to 100 really quickly. Guess it's all the build up?

Have fun!

When my granny died we found literal suitcases full of M&B books! She was elderly but she'd been reading them for years... Absolutely loved them, I never saw her without one.

Aw man, this brings back some memories. I was stuck in hospital for several months as a teen, and they had a shelf with dozens and dozens of these things. So my perception is probably skewed by that… couldn't face one again.

But IIRC they're easy, relaxing reads, manageable even with my then-reduced ability to concentrate; some of the writers manage to wedge some reasonably engaging stuff into the fairly inflexible formula; and if you don't like what you're reading, then at least it's over quickly and you can try a different one.

I just wish I could get some kind of confirmation that I'm not going completely mad WRT this one story I remember. All I know is it was a vaguely science-fictiony themed sub-series, and the male love interest was a (hot) alien with a furry(?) or at least velvety penis. No, I don't know how that could possibly work with a human woman. It's possible I misunderstood the language, or took it too literally, but that was definitely the impression I got from what I read.

I tried to write one years ago! You could actually send off for guidance / template - e.g chapter and overall length (no pun intended), what was allowed re explicitness (they had a more raunchy catalogue) etc. I never got beyond typing out page 4; had to get to his throbbing pulse (neck) or some indication of how he was trying to keep his lust in control whilst virginal maiden - confused; eyes welling up at perceived rejection - bit lip in a becoming manner.

Let's start one here!

Someone needs to suggest a time period, situation, and level of Hawtness…

Catriona Bellingham hesitated, pulling her old black coat over her slightly shabby skirt & blouse. The wind outside the building was fierce and chilling but her cheeks blushed red. Her new boss, Mr. Smotherington-Cliff, was waiting inside to introduce her to her colleagues and indeed, her new job.

Actually, it may not have been a sub-series. Maybe it was just one author who went rogue and decided to introduce the M&B-reading public to fuzzy-cocked alien erotica. I remember deliberately reading that one because I was (and am) into SF, so there must've been something about the cover art or title that conveyed that, but I'm pretty sure it was the only one like that they had. If it was a particular series within M&B, you'd think whoever donated them would've had more than one.

Ooh @TipulophobiaIsReal re 'Velvety Penis' - that's Julie Birchill territory in her novel 'Ambitiion'. She inserted (pun intended) in every other paragraph only to be topped by her electric toothbrush trying to kill by her - obviously via Vagina, I'm sure sure she was cackling away whilst typing and knowing she already had a publication deal in the bag!

Perfect!

As ever, she calmed herself by running through her French and German verb tables. Je suis, tu es, il elle on est… the familiar sounds soothed her, rocked her, reminded her that she was an educated young woman who had no reason to feel lesser. And yet her slender figure seemed even slighter against the imposing edifice and heavy double doors of the Old Manse, as it was known to the villagers.

With a deep, determined intake of icy air, she recalled her grandmother's advice to her as a shy schoolgirl: "Chin up, shoulders back, chest out!" She pushed open the heavy glass door and strode through to the marble-floored foyer.

Smotherington-Cliff stepped forward, waiting a moment as Catriona smoothed her wind-tousled chestnut hair. He was taller than she remembered, and lanky, his sharp features now softened by a friendly smile. "Welcome on board," he said, lightly taking her arm, "Let's get you settled."

Aw, he seems quite nice!

Oh, @TipulophobiaIsReal, you've definitely built more tension!

I can already feel my heart pounding with breathless anticipation ...