Mills & Boon - just loaned my first one from the library

[SecondUsername4me]

I've only ever heard women I know read these who are 60+ so I'm not sure if it's a sign that I'm ageing prematurely (35) or just because I'm looking for quick reads and the walls of books at the library are overwhelming to sift through.

Any good? Are they still writing them? If I enjoy them is it feasible to read the back catalogue?

I've been through the Richard & Judy Book Club back catalogue and am fully up to date on the Reese Witherspoon Book Club back catalogue, so looking for another stack to work through.

Any particularly good stories I should look out for?

GMTA on the heavy doors

I like your style, no messing about, straight to it! (Probably just as well; my battery's on 1%)

I did a 6 week residential course when I was 16 and the host family had a bookcase of the Medieval Historic M&B books. They were fabulous, so corny and all the same template but just so easy to read and enjoy.

Oh i love this stuff, was always stealing my nans 😂Nice easy read and some are so cheesy its funny.

Also, back in the day a friend lent my mum a heap of Suzanne Brockman books - the Tall dark and dangerous series. Each book is about a different member in a Navy Seal team. My teenage self loved them so much i still have half of them 20 years later, i'll give them back one day 😁

She felt an odd jerk of electricity as his fingers touched her arm, but quickly repressed the sensation.
'Good morning, Mr Smotherington-Cliff, I’m Catriona Bellingham. I hope I’m not late?'
'Perhaps five minutes.' She noticed, despite herself, how sensitively well-shaped his hands were as he extended a wrist to check his watch, then looked away, annoyed at her own stupidity. 'But that's neither here nor there. Follow me, this is where you'll be working. It’s right next to my office, so be prepared for me to call you in quite a lot…'

It's all getting a bit 🥵

Later that evening, Catriona reflected on her day as she gazed pensively into the bronze antique mirror her late much-loved French grandmother had left her in her will. Large grey eyes fringed with impossibly long lashes asked the question "Why do I feel so strangely drawn to a man I've never met before?"
Her rescue kitten wound itself round her slim ankles, bringing her back to the present. "Oh there you are Tiger," she murmured, picking him up and burying her face in his silky fur, before padding through to her small but quaint hand-painted kitchen to put the kettle on.
Later, curled up in front of a cosy log fire, cradling a mug of cocoa and with Tiger purring contentedly beside her, Catriona found her thoughts straying back to the reason she'd left her old life in the big city behind.

padding

Why do so many of these romantic heroines stick their faces in cats? Statistically, at least some of them have to wind up with puffy, blotch-covered faces, dual rivers of snot, a wheeze like an Austin Allegro starter motor and a sneeze that could wake an Egyptian mummy. Which might be someone's idea of a winsome protagonist, but it's not mine.

@SecondUsername4me do you mean you just "borrowed" and not loaned?????

Catriona allowed her thoughts to drift, as she stared into the flickering fire and thought back to the present circumstances of her new job. Her Father, a wealthy American oil-man, who was somewhat unseemly in certain circles despite his great wealth, was great friends with the Smotherington-Cliff family.

Oh my, I used to read my grandmother's ones from the library in my early teens. I expect the ones from back then have dated badly with todays Me Too culture etc. They are a bit rapey.

I love a good M&B 😀 I used to read them in my 20s! Still do now occasionally, in fact whilst reading one pregnant I came across a name I liked for my son😂

And the opportunity to escape from her old life and make a fresh start in England had been too tempting to refuse.
Catriona ran her hands through her unruly curls, gave herself a shake and admonished herself for dwelling on the past. Other girls had been hurt by treacherous men before, and lived to tell the tale, she told herself firmly, although the humiliation of having to call off her lakeside wedding at the last minute was still a painful memory.
At least she had discovered, before becoming his wife, that Warren was more interested in her inheritance than her as a person. Arriving home from work early one day to surprise him, she had overheard a telephone conversation between Warren and another woman that had left no room for doubt.
But that was months ago, she told herself, and this was a whole new start. Her designer backless lace wedding gown had been donated to charity, the gifts from luxury stores in Madison Avenue returned, and the honeymoon on an exclusive private island cancelled. The sparkling solitaire diamond engagement ring .. well Warren could use that for his next conquest.
"Who needs a man anyway?" she posed the question to a sleepy Tiger, who snuggled closer. "I've given them up for good. You and I together will do just fine."

Next morning dawned bright and crisp and, determined to make the right, business-like impression, Catriona dressed soberly in a well-cut yet understated white blouse and fluid black skirt whose lines merely hinted at the shapeliness of her naturally-rangy figure. She chose to subdue her curls in a knot at the nape of her neck and was giving Tiger a final, extra-special fuss when her eyes slid to the clock and she realised in alarm that she stood a good chance of being late. On her first day!
But to contemplate work without coffee was unthinkable - flying from the car, she just had enough time to swoop into the tiny, artisan roastery next door to the office and emerged, triumphant, with her favourite flat white. A final dash through the gracious entrance-way of Smotherington-Cliff, Carstairs and Plumpton and…..
’Oh no!’
The anguished cry escaped her involuntarily as she, the coffee-cup - and, most humiliatingly, the coffee - made sudden impact with the very solid form of her new boss. The hot liquid was everywhere - all over his immaculate shirt-front, what looked like a very expensive hand-made suit, and even splashing his perfectly-shaved cheeks.

(NB the cheeks of his FACE, obvs. It’s not that naughty. Yet 😬)

You're all laughing at them and saying how dreadful they are but you've all read them 😂 I might just read one too !

I’ve been reading them since I was 15 :)

Something I noticed early on is that each month M&B seemed to publish two well written ones and two badly written ones (which implied to me that M&B) knew perfectly well the quality of their various authors).

What’s your favourite subgenre? I can recommend regency or medieval romance but don’t know the other genres well.

I’ve written one. They didn’t take it but they said they’d dithered about whether to accept, and they wanted to see another. Alas, life got in the way and I never managed it!

By the way the nonfiction book “Beyond Heaving Bosoms” is very good on explaining why readers are encouraged to mock and despise popular fiction written by women for women, but popular fiction by men for men is admired and seen as having literary value even where it’s about torture / murder / child abuse etc.

I read dozens and dozens when I was trying to write them, and there were some authors who were really good writers and swept you along in a believable narrative. Others, not so much.

It was the arrival of blatant raunchiness/sex in M & B that made me lose interest, I think. I preferred the more old-fashioned ones with just some discreet bedroom activity. Ones that were more of a relationship build-up.

I read a couple once, because a guy accused me of having read too many M&B - to be fair, I was 16 and very naive in some ways, but having never read any M+B, I had to read one, to decide how insulted I should feel. I had a Saturday job up at the library, so I'd plenty on hand. Quite liked shelving them- as they had their own section, they didn't need to be in order, which made them quick and easy. (Westerns and Crime were the other genre sections.)

They are (or at least, in the late '80s, were) very formulaic and predictable. But they were also very popular.

I was quite insulted (and also mildly confused - I never expected anyone to sweep me off my feet or anything.) I am still friends with said guy, now we are in our 50s. Last time I saw him, he said, "I never understood why you never married." Sometimes, I wonder if it wasn't him who had read too much M+B... (He did not remember having said it - I once pointed out that he was the reason that I had ended up reading M+B.)

@Manicule, you've got the style down pat, though! Have another go!

I think it's impossible to write sex well with details. I mean, sex is a messy and ridiculous activity - it's how it feels that matters, and better authors than I can write that very evocatively.

In the last M&B I read, decades ago now, the steamy consummation was actually a rape. The horny heroine never recognised it as such, she was too busy emoting. It made me really cross!

My mum used to read them. Apparently my grandmother used to say that to find the rude bits you tap the spine and the book will fall open at that page They are too tame for me!

I'm now thoroughly invested in Catriona, Mr Smotherington-Cliff and little Tiger. Please make this book happen!

I had a go too, years ago. I'd been chatting to a friend who was a journalist and we thought we'd give it a try. We committed to writing a certain number of words each and each week we'd meet In a coffee shop and swap our attempts and laugh hysterically

There are varying levels of raunchiness and I decided to aim for the True Love genre whereas my friend wanted to try a sexier version. So in my book, the sex scenes had to not be too explicit and the euphemisms required were .. challenging!

Doing my research, I came across phrases like as he pulled her close against him, his desire for her became evident, and his silken length <boak>

They say you can't write a M&B cynically; you have to be genuine and take it seriously and, to be fair, I don't think my friend and I really were

I'm 60+ and read them in my teens as well.

So formulaic, but quite good fun if you can get past the cheesiness. 😂

I had forgotten about that, "his silken length slid into her feminine core"

😂😂😂