Has anyone read 'I Don't Know How She Does It' or 'The Rise and Fall of a Yummy Mummy'?

[litgirl]

Hello!
I was just hoping for a few opinions really! I'm an English Lit student currently writing my thesis on Women's writing, and the opinions around chick-lit, and mummy and baby novels. I am discussing these two novels to illustrate how the characters react against the yummy-mummy myth presented in the media. I would love to hear any opinions you may have about either book, or chick-lit in general, and if you think these novels present mums realistically.

Thank you so much,
Katie xxx

Except HG wouldn't do the wheelchair bit, being no Daniel Day Lewis (pauses for momentary swoon).

I am so glad you've nailed my discomfort with IDKHSDI. In 'real life' (insofar that that has anything to do with fiction, of course, yada yada yada) a KR person would winch in some decent domestic assistance. I know AP tries to give her the backstory of why she feels she can't (presumably echoes of employing women like her school-assistant mother And All That) but frankly it doesn't work.

It did point up for me the currently unbendable nature of some kinds of work. I've just made various decisions to do with my own working hours, and my admiration for women not in a position to have this flexibility has gone up even more.

Hmmm, DH as HG? Sorry not quite getting it. Great bone structure but insufficiently floppy.

I tend to get a complete attack of the guilts discussing the KR phenomenon: KR has both resources and choices. KR, whatever anst-laden plot devices Pearson may have invented for her, was not trying to juggle a noxious mixture of a dead-end and poorly paid job, no domestic help and sub-standard and unreliable childcare.

You mean anst-in-her-panst, presumably?

Yes, quite.

However, incidentally, Imnot27, if you've actually read the novel in detail you will see that KR quite explictly explains why part-time is not an option in the context of her current work. 'Money doesn't sleep.' And that she loves her work. As many of us do.

"angst" Doh! Sorry trying to multi-task with a conference call!

"Money doesn't sleep". Love it.

• which of course wouldn't sell -

I was just thinking that I should properly read those Barbara Ehrenreich books - esp Nickel & Dimed.

Exactly. She is in a position not to have to put up with the rubbish cleaner, the stroppy nanny and the useless husband. The fact that she does does not mean that no one can have a satisfying career - it means that having a high flying/time consuming career is probably not enjoyable if you want to do your own cleaning/bake your own mince pies/make your own birthday cake/pander to a slightly useless DH and resent your nanny for spending time with your children.

Every so often Allison Pearson's writing is rather good: the toddler 'moods that arrive like tanks'. Overall, though, the narrative really is pants. Or even panst.

you wanna read Kate Pullinger's A Little Stranger it pees on all this bilge

Bink - 'Global Woman - Nannies, Maids and Sex Workers in the New Economy', edited by Ehrenreich and Hochschild is also a bit of an eye opener.

Bink, I liked Nickel and Dimed and Hard Work by Polly Toynbee.

Great thread and great posts squiffy. I'm glad someone's worked out why KR doesn't gel as a character, that makes complete sense.

Must re-read that Pullinger. I have to say it wasn't quite up to the standard of her other quite marvellous books, I thought.

Second you on those books WWW.
They really reveal what multi-tasking means.

As an aside,I don't find work exhausting (taxing yes,but in an enjoyable way)
What knackers me is the domestic drudgery (and hey! I like housework)

Getting my two children up,dressed and delivered to schoo and nursery on my own week after week (dh abroad)leaves me shattered before I even reach the office.

I leave feeling pretty good but once again,the regime of feeding,cleaning,bathing,stories and so on puts paid to that.

Apologies, SSD! . Meant Soapbox. Multi-tasking breakdown.

Hello, I know this thread eneded yesterday, but have just read back and wanted to reply to people who replied to me! At our bookgroup, taking the example of the woamn IN THE BOOK we felt perhaps she could divide her time a bit more between work and children, eg maybe PARTTIME, as I said, as most of us, myself included, did. In the book, she did often cionsider downsizing to be with the kids more, which is what she did in the end, so it was an option for the woman IN THE BOOK! And the reason my dh earns more than me is the careers we have chosen, not any other reason. Am a bit at replies that don't really even read what I posted, but just get in big SAHM/WOHM arguement. What I am saying is that we felt that, if you can (which she could!) then perhaps you can give a little in your career, or your partneers, to fit your kids in. And why hammer on and on about why blokes earn more, why women more likely to stay at home etc? If the couple in question are happy, surely it doesn't matter whoe earns/works/childcares more?

I'mnot 27, I think we have all agreed the book is flawed in a number of ways, but I think what I took umbrage to (at?) was the bit of advice you repeated in this post "What I am saying is that we felt that, if you can (which she could!) then perhaps you can give a little in your career, or your partneers, to fit your kids in."

I work full time; my children have a great nanny; they are happy and stable kids; the book is not real life nor indeed anything close to life; I can "afford" to work part time; DH could "afford" to work part time, but, and here's the thing, I actually don't think I have to "give a little in my career to fit [my] kids in".

Nothing personal - everyone loves a good argy-bargy on this, and whatever the starting point is we all end up arguing the same things!

No, Imnot27, she does not go part-time. She chucks her job in. And when offered a so-called 'part-time' option she explicitly rejects it because she knows it wouldn't stop at part-time.

And personally yes, I do object on a personal and a political level to a society and economic structure in which men often-to-usually earn more than women. It does matter. Fundamentally.

I said DOWNSIZING! Which is what she does!!!!!

Well, she doesn't actually downsize: she stops working.

And clearly does want to get back to some sort of the work she used to do if - and this has been made pretty clear isn't likely - it doesn't eat up her life the way it did before.

Stark choice, imo.

If they'd pick work they like there'd be none of these problems though. So how to advise our children? I have two at university who haven't chosen. What work will enthuse them for the next 40 years so they jump out of bed with zest?

Oh Xenia read the thread, and the book! She does love her job, that's part of the problem!

In reply to litgirl, I'm pretty sure that I Don't Know How started life as a newspaper column. So really it's part of media myth making rather than a reaction to it.

Your name drives me bonkers, what happened to good old Joshsmum or emma1987?

Oh dear. That's the second complaint. I didn't choose it. If you fill in the mumsnet form too quickly and don't notice the nickname box, then you end up with this. But at least I won't be confused with someone else. You could always nickname me NK. As in Space NK. Or something.

You can change it, go to Mymumsnet.

Go on, make my day