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Has anyone read 'I Don't Know How She Does It' or 'The Rise and Fall of a Yummy Mummy'?

216 replies

litgirl · 24/03/2007 12:55

Hello!
I was just hoping for a few opinions really! I'm an English Lit student currently writing my thesis on Women's writing, and the opinions around chick-lit, and mummy and baby novels. I am discussing these two novels to illustrate how the characters react against the yummy-mummy myth presented in the media. I would love to hear any opinions you may have about either book, or chick-lit in general, and if you think these novels present mums realistically.

Thank you so much,
Katie xxx

OP posts:
Lusciousladylush · 26/03/2007 10:57

Hi,

I have just read theone book - I don't know how she does it, and I laughed till I cried. Being a workig mum in London with the commute stuff to boot, I thought it was a brilliant read, with lots of true points in there, so much so I too had to read some bits out to DH so he could understand why I sometimes act like I do!. It was a lttie far fetched in places, but I thought it was pretty representative... although am in agreement she was a little weak at times!. Must try the others you all mention if they are a good read - for entertainment value if nothing else!.

Luscious

FluffyMummy123 · 26/03/2007 10:58

Message withdrawn

MellowMa · 26/03/2007 10:59

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Caligula · 26/03/2007 11:03

All those ads still represent women as pretending they've made the M&S ready meal themself, just after they've done a full day's work.

The mince pie thing kind of buys into that I think. I don't know any woman who does do the pretence thing - if they bought it from M&S / Mr Kipling they say so

Lusciousladylush · 26/03/2007 11:04

I work with a woman who just had the one kid, and she actually admitted to doing something really similar to the mince pie thinga t hier childs school fete...

she is quite sad though!!! and I can actaully see her do it!!

Bink · 26/03/2007 11:05

What people write theses on is an intriguing subject, though, isn't it? I am of the camp that feels there is something to be said about just about any cultural construct - but I am then quite gimletty about what is actually said - ie, it's got to be Really Worth Saying. You know, LRB style.

(I myself have done two theses - one on that bulge of Victorian conversion/slum/morbidity children's books (Christie's Old Organ etc., it was called "Pity the Poor in Their Proper Place") & one on metamorphosis in Blake (it was called "Thought Chang'd the Infinite. To a Serpent" and the stray full stop was relevant). Come on you lot, confess what yours were on.)

CristinaTheAstonishing · 26/03/2007 11:06

I haven't read either of these two books as I always thought it wouldn't be my type. But I picked up a copy of "Camberwell Beauty" by Jenny Eclair about the friendship between two working mothers. It was an easy read, grotesque story in parts.

northerner · 26/03/2007 11:06

I have read both books and enjoyed them actually. Bit silly in parts but it's only a bit of light reading isn't it?

I have tried to read Rachel Cusks - a life's work, but just do not get it at all. Very odd [thicko emoticon]

FluffyMummy123 · 26/03/2007 11:07

Message withdrawn

Anna8888 · 26/03/2007 11:07

I was just reading the list of attendees for my MBA ten-year reunion.

It's pretty sad to see how many of the women with "great careers" don't have partners or children.

If that's the price of professional success, it's way too high for me.

UnquietDad · 26/03/2007 11:15

People who come on college reunions will mainly be those who want to show off about their careers anyway.

northerner · 26/03/2007 11:17

Most of the peopel at my school reunion have been on crime stoppers!

Anna8888 · 26/03/2007 11:20

Maybe, or maybe they're still hunting for partners.

Still makes me sad for them, especially since I know a lot of them did want a family life and the biological clock is ticking very heavily now.

ArcticRoll · 26/03/2007 11:43

Interesting point made earlier (sorry can't recall poster) about these books and other in this genre being written by journalists.
They seem to be string of observations but lacking credible characters and decent plot.
Read the Allison Pearson one ages ago and recall being really annoyed at the daft plotline at the end of the novel.
Felt it was similar to John O'Farrell's 'May Contain Nuts'-again quite funny observations about competitive parents but lacking in charactersiation and plot.
I wonder why Allison Pearson hasn't written another novel since?

Marina · 26/03/2007 11:47

I thought May Contain Nuts was one of the most disappointing books I've ever read ArcticRoll, and you have pinpointed why. Its author's professional expertise in one kind of writing made it a complete failure as a fully realised novel.
Episodic writing can work brilliantly - as Armistead Maupin, Dickens, Alexander McCall Smith and Helen Fielding have all shown. And initially Allison Pearson's column was wonderful.
I wonder if she has never written another novel because she is a writer of real talent and realises that How Does She Do It just did not work in novel format. Despite being a huge commercial success.

Bink · 26/03/2007 11:51

Oh yes - and The Serial, remember that? - 1970s Marin County. Cyra McFaddyen (sp?)

I'd love to get my hands on that again.

mummydoc · 26/03/2007 12:03

the ending of i don't know how she does it , seems to me to lend itself to a sequel...Kate is left feeling unfulfilled as the sahm she craved to be and so starts to get embroiled in rescuing her sister's job by putting together a rescue bid to save the factory/business, i keep expecting a " what kate did next " follow up.

Judy1234 · 26/03/2007 12:05

Plenty of working woemn have lovely marriages and happy careers, Anna as I'm sure you know. "It's pretty sad to see how many of the women with "great careers" don't have partners or children."

Also why do you think it's sad? Many people are lesbian. Some prefer to be single. Lots absolutely hate children. Are you saying women need men to be happy or need children? They probably pity you your dependent housewife status.

Anna8888 · 26/03/2007 12:13

Xenia - I am talking about women I know very well and who I know for a fact wanted other things for their life.

Once again, don't speculate about other people's feelings that you don't have any data about.

Caligula · 26/03/2007 12:15
Anna8888 · 26/03/2007 12:20

Methinks Xenia is subconsciously frightfully jealous of women who decided that life doesn't have to be a fearful competition to keep men down and who therefore have more time have fun.

All work and no play makes Jack (Jill) a dull boy (girl).

Couples who play together stay together.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 26/03/2007 12:29

Anna - going by that your DH must have been pretty poor at the playing bit or he'd have stayed together with his first wife. Is that the best you can do?

CristinaTheAstonishing · 26/03/2007 12:29

Like Caligula I too wondered how long it would take to turn this into WOHM vs SAHM.

Bink · 26/03/2007 12:33

Anna & Xenia, take it outside?

But actually Anna, many of the people I was thinking about when writing below have degrees from your shop, but 15+ years down the line rather than 10. So maybe it's just a matter of timing, or generation, or gestalt, or something. As I am scratching my head to find the same big imbalance between the mothers & the not-mothers that you describe - ie, I think I can't.

Anchovy · 26/03/2007 12:35

Great post Squiffy.

Oh, this combination of English literature and City career is too tempting for me to pass by!

I've read IDKHSDI and it annoyed the hell out of me. I fall squarely in her "situation" remit - as do a number of other people on this thread - and agree that it is "a City high flyer" as interpreted by a journalist, as Squiffy so rightly pointed out, and it doesn't ring true at all.

I attended an evening function that Allison Pearson was at and she did an after dinner talk about the "Kate Reddy" effect. I thought she was tripe, tbh. She said that she had done a lot of research and talked to a lot of women who sobbed when they talked to her about glass ceilings and how they never see their children. But I looked around and saw a large number of happy succesful City women who were cheerfully and reolutely going about their jobs mostly untroubled by this bilge.

The clear reason for Kate Reddy's problems was that her husband was not pulling his weight and that she had turned all the "support" she should be receiving into the problem not the solution - none of her husband, nanny or cleaner were actually assisting her or relieving her of any responsibility, while she was assuming all the responsibility of being major bread-winner and major child care provider. Of course something has to give in that scenario - but most people don't put themselves in that scenario.

Ditto re the mince pies. Actually our mince pies for the Christmas play were hand made by DH because - shock horror - not all husbands are useless gender stereo-types. Otherwise our nanny would have made them with the children. Or we would have ordered them in the weekly on-line shop and sent them in in their packet. That's what real people do.

There is an interesting angle here about who writes these books and what market they are aiming at. Allison Pearson clearly is saying - girls, you can't make it, however hard you try (there is not, as far as I can recall, a single succesful, happy sorted woman in it). Definitely a whiff of the Daily Mail about it.