What are the things you never thought you'd do before becoming a parent? Tell us for a chance to win a copy of YOU'RE SO MUMMY + a YEAR'S SUPPLY OF BOOKS!

[UrsulaMumsnet]

Set aside the Gina, silence the baby-whisperers and shelve the Jo Frost manuals. This is the book to make new mothers feel better about themselves.

No tips, no advice, no routines, no philosophies - just an honest account of two writers' adventures in the twenty-first century Motherland.

Alex and Sarah are two mothers and lifelong friends, whose hilarious book is the perfect antidote to all the smug, scolding, impossible-to-achieve tomes of advice that are passed around baby yoga classes up and down the country.

Read an extract

Tell us the one thing you never thought you'd do before becoming a parent for a chance to win a copy of You're So Mummy by Alex Manson-Smith and Sarah Thompson plus A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF BOOKS

This discussion is sponsored by Michael Joseph and will close on 21 March

I never thought, until I had had twins plus older sibling, that just being on my own to string whole sentences of thought together, without three people talking at me, would be my idea of bliss - and to have a cup of hot coffee while reading a magazine would be absolute bliss!

Worms again I'm afraid:
Spending an inordinate amount of time, on my knees, with a torch, staring up bumholes looking for the little bastards

I never thought that I would lose my filter to determine what topics are suitable conversation in company. But now, only 7 weeks into motherhood I will talk to anyone about my baby's trapped wind and pooing habits!

I never thought I'd be happy to suck snot through a tube, and really underestimated the satisfaction I'd get from getting a huge bit of snot out so my daughter can breathe

I never thought I'd utter the words "take your finger out or your anus", "no you can't put your finger in mummy's anus", "no, that's not mummy's anus", "no, you can't put your finger in there either".

All with a straight face.

Never thought I could sleep on my back, with a small bundle on my chest.

Never thought I could sleep in an armchair.

Never thought I could sleep in a green plastic chair under harsh hospital lights.

Never thought I could function through normal daily life on 2.5 hours' sleep, broken up, for weeks and months.

I never thought I'd know all the words to as many Nursery rhymes and children's songs as I do!

Never thought I'd be cry with pride because DD(2) managed to stack her cups, she has SEN so it was a big deal in our house!

I never thought I would run towards someone being sick with my hands out. Or hold a baby closer to me while they were sick so my clothes caught it and not the bed/sofa/carpet!

Pre babies...I would have run away....!

I never thought I'd BF beyond a year. BF DS till he was 4! DD (nearly 3) is still going strong ...

I never thought I would be so patient. I never thought I would be a SAHP. I also never thought I would find some of being a Mum so hard.

I never thought I'd catch vomit in my hands.

In fact the reality is I've now done that not once, but twice .

I never thought I would one day look back at my life B.C (before children!) and be genuinely puzzled at how I used to fill my days!

Now with 4 DC I'm lucky if I can go to the loo without interruption.

Pick bogey out of a baby/toddler's nose.
Say 'You're not going to the soft play party until you've done a poo. It's been three days and I'm not going to look for it in the soft play climbing frame.' Ds1 was reluctant to be potty trained at three.

I've just remembered the most important thing. Being a mum made me realise how abusive and toxic my mum is. Being a mum saved my life, as I realised I didn't have to put up with the abuse and everyone else's mum's aren't like mine. It opened up my life to love and be loved. My dcs really are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I didn't even realise that there was anything wrong in my childhood until I realised how different my relationship is with my dcs.

Eat pre-chewed cheese.

That I'd pick someone else's nose

I never thought I would consider dry shampoo and a baby wipe all over as an acceptable way to start the day.

I never thought I would cancel plans at the vvvveeeerrrryyyy last minute due to being covered in sick/poo.

I never thought I would be so unconditionally in love with someone who could leave me so exhausted.

I never thought for a moment a day would come that I'd be sucking out someone's snot!

I also never knew how much I'd love being a mum, snot sucking and all.

I never thought I'd consider grocery shopping without children in tow an actual leisure activity.

Also never thought I'd continue functioning on so little sleep for such an extended period of time.

I never thought I'd be excited about spending 8 hours on a plane...alone!

I never thought I would know that sound of pre-sickness and be able to stop eating a meal, catch the vomit, wipe up, check dd is ok, wash hands and return to eating meal. There's a lot that involves bodily fluids from a small human I never thought I would do things with!

I never thought I would sleep curled up in a cot on a hospital ward (only way I could get my babies to sleep was to feed them lying down! )

I never thought I'd have to say things like "its not very kind to feed your sister's toes to the diplodocus. She doesn't like it and Diplodocus don't even like toes. They are herbivores."

Suckling snot from someone else's face somehow became acceptable when my baby had a cold and I was up for the umpteenth time in the middle of the night.