What are the things you never thought you'd do before becoming a parent? Tell us for a chance to win a copy of YOU'RE SO MUMMY + a YEAR'S SUPPLY OF BOOKS!

[UrsulaMumsnet]

Set aside the Gina, silence the baby-whisperers and shelve the Jo Frost manuals. This is the book to make new mothers feel better about themselves.

No tips, no advice, no routines, no philosophies - just an honest account of two writers' adventures in the twenty-first century Motherland.

Alex and Sarah are two mothers and lifelong friends, whose hilarious book is the perfect antidote to all the smug, scolding, impossible-to-achieve tomes of advice that are passed around baby yoga classes up and down the country.

Read an extract

Tell us the one thing you never thought you'd do before becoming a parent for a chance to win a copy of You're So Mummy by Alex Manson-Smith and Sarah Thompson plus A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF BOOKS

This discussion is sponsored by Michael Joseph and will close on 21 March

I swore I would never say "because I say so"! I do regularly!!

I never thought I would dread the weekends. My three horribles hate each other when they are all together - with weekends being the epitome of their horribleness. They will fight, bicker, scream , wipe bogeys on each other, moon at each other, the list continues.....It doesn't matter if we are at home or out and about, it will still descend into chaos and us parents looking like we should have been committed to the mental asylum. We relish the return of school on the Monday....

Eat something from someone else's mouth!

Let them watch TV, sleep in our bed and hide sweets in the house that I don't want them to eat

I never thought I'd be texting my partner whilst he's at work to tell him about the latest contents of our son's nappy. (Who knew that blueberry skins would come out completely intact?)

I never thought I would lift up my baby and smell her bum!!

I never thought I would lick a tissue and use it to wipe up my kids face - but I do, in emergencies now!

I never thought that I'd turn into a carbon copy of my own mother, but it looks like its heading that way. I'm fighting it though.

I never thought getting four solid hours of sleep would seem absolutely wonderful.

I was so annoyingly smug before I had children:

I would never:
-let my toddler cry or have a tantrum in public
-buy plastic toys, (only wooden toys would be allowed)
-let my children eat sweets, chocolate or crisps
-talk about poo or wee or vomit other than with a doctor

and I memorably told my mother when I was pregnant first time "I will never move the breakable objects out of child's reach because my child will obey me when I say 'No, don't touch that'".

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha - I was an idiot.

And I never thought I would spend so many hours of each day just PICKING STUFF UP

So many! But the first one that springs to mind is the old "lick my finger to wipe something of their face".

I never thought I'd feel so intensely protective of my children.

And I never thought I'd be stood in the bathroom doorway while dd is sat on the loo with a poo in her hand and we are both looking at it to check for worms.

#whatsasociallife

I never thought I would turn into my mother but I realise I am...I never thought I would like becoming my mother but I actually don't mind, I have so much more respect for her and would be proud to be close to the mum she is

I also never thought I would get so emotional about such simple things.

I never thought I'd have to do it on my own from the very beginning of the pregnancy with Ds and I never thought I'd be an extremely strong woman (probably because of it). I never thought I'd share almost everything with my Dc's and I never thought I'd turn into my own mother...

I never thought I would consider 6am a lie in! I never thought I'd enjoy being a stay at home mum as much as I do.

Tell a virtual cat on Minecraft to shhh. I think it pines for DD when she goes to eat breakfast or get washed!

I never thought I'd change so much. I am a completely different person after 14 years and 5 children.

I never thought I'd talk about / look at / smell / man-handle as much poo as I have.

I never thought I'd be one of those mums who dresses like their daughter.

However, by chance/tiredness/lack of clean clothes we've occasionally ended up wearing almost identical outfits - of the jumper, jeggings and boots variety, not babygros or flouncy pink dresses, I hasten to add! Even so, I felt like a prize plum, especially since she's 18 months and I'm 43.

I never thought I'd class 7am as a lie in.
I was also never going to let my child eat chocolate/sweets/biscuits/McDonald's/kfc or watch the tele. She eats all those things and CBeebies is almost on constantly when we're at home!

I never thought I'd be absolutely fine with random people seeing me in a very vulnerable position. I had two midwives in during ds1 birth and they asked if a trainee doctor could come and observe. I was so focused on the birth I don't think I would have cared if a whole army had come into the room!

I never thought that I would regard being woken up only twice in one night as a good nights sleep.

Eat leftover children's food. I remember thinking my friends was nuts when she mentioned in passing she ate leftovers rather than bothering to cook tea, and privately swearing I would never do that....

Similar to Solo, I never thought I'd end up doing it on my own...and coping pretty bloody well.

Making up songs about the importance of washing hands, weeing on the toilet and not in your pants, brushing your teeth and standing still whilst having your bum wiped! X