A MASSIVE vibrator? Too big for the postman to deliver
When you get to the post office, because of increased security they make you open it in front of EVERYONE
The post office is packed, the queue is getting longer and longer as you struggle to get the wrapping off it
Then it slips out of your hands and bounces down the queue, past Doreen from no 43, past your uncle Sid, past your old schoolteacher, then lands at the feet at that gorgeous dad from the school gates