Right, finished it now. Here goes...
I too struggled a bit at the end, after the foot thing, but mainly because i was expecting some sort of dramatic twist and it never came. I also struggled during Clare's childhood/adolescence too, with the age gap, but this is mainly because my ex was 33 years older than me and it felt to me like Henry was too patronising and fatherly the way my ex was. My ex used to smile knowingly & amusedly as if he knew what i would be like when i was older. i couldn't help feeling resentful on Clare's behalf that she was being pulled into this relationship, although of course it was all out of Henry's control. (must point out i wasn't as young as clare when i was with my ex! 
)
i agree with bundle, i can see why they love each other & all that, at least in these ways:
- I can see why Clare was in love with him, having grown up knowing him all her life and waiting for him, etc.
- I can see why he fell in love with her over time, like, knowing her child self and all that. Totally agree with whoever it was who talked about her being an idealised woman, it hadn't occurred to me before! Although she did sleep with Gomez...
What i don't understand is why he would fall in love with her straight away at aged 28 not knowing her at all, especially considering what a womaniser he apparently was. I suppose it could be explained by a fate type thing, this feels right in a cosmic sort of way...
the way i understood the bit when Clare's father & brother shot Henry, was that they shot him first without being able to see him properly, and then came across the bloody patch & the other alive Henry. They then met Henry a 2nd time when he first came to visit. The "uncanny resemblence" bit was referring to the alive Henry they had met.
i don't think the book is just about loss. For me, the whole feel of it, of being trapped and out of control of events in your life, in your past & future etc, is sort of how i feel about my life and want to stop feeling! I thought it was quite clever if that was intentional. It's about determinism/fate etc. (Anyone see the thread about soul mates ?) I always feel unable to live in the present moment fully, i am always worrying about the future or agonising over the past. none of us can change our past, and if we have bad memories we are trapped with them in a way, like he had to keep reliving his mother's death. And we all know we're going to die one day, and that there's nothing we can do about it.
Of course in reality we are in control of our lives and have free will so i have decided to close the book and try and think that way about my life in future, let go of my past & live each day to the full and perhaps conversely, as i am a terrible decision maker, try and chill out & know that whatever decision i make, whatever happens to me, is right and meant to be! lol