Today after I found myself contemplating suicide I have decided to put myself into bootcamp. Feel free to ignore me but if I type this out and announce it publically I will stick to it

[TWINSETinapeartree]

The constant feeling ashamed of how I look, having to hide away and not want to leave the house has taken its toll. I am fed up of it, dp is and so is dd.

I have tried every diet and lifestyle change I can, weighwatchers, slimming world, a group at my surgery, lighterlife, cambridge, cabbage soup, counselling, just eating less and moving more and it never lasts long term.

Every month I get fatter and fatter and hate myself even more. Today I was out walking with dd, dp and the dog and someone commented on my appearance. I walked into town bought some tablets and took half the box. I am so sick of my self loathing.

I have decided that the only way to deal with this is to take drastic action rather than being the fat bitch who winges but never does anything about it.

I have moved my things out of my bedroom and I will sleep on a put up bed in the spare room as I know that I will hate this. I will move back into the bedroom when I have lost at least two stone.

I have a cooked meal at work and have my breakfast but that will be it, no eating with the family. I am only going to drinnk water.

I will cancel all social activities until again I have lost two stone. My family are supposed to be coming up to visit and I have cancelled.

I have been to the local gym to join, just at the leisure centre so it is cheap and as a teacher I get a discount.

I am going to stop buying new clothes as I get fatter as it is allowing me to carry on makig myself more and more obese. Again I love clothes and fashion so this will hurt but I need drastic action and need to stop rewarding myself for making myself more obese.

I have hunted out every ugly fat picture of me and stick them on the fridge and cupboards to remind myself how bad l look and that something needs to change.

Absolutely

Lewis thank you

When you have time (so does not have to be now) could you point me in teh direction of the low GI diet you are doing, or any good websites? Because I don't know where to start...

tis only external
sometimes the things that get you down when you aren't on top of your game are the things that should remain meaningless when you are
I've seen many of your threads on style and you've been brilliant and really helpful to many many mumsnetters there trying to look and be as fabulous as you.
Once you are strong enough to celebrate you you will be able to deal with your weight in terms of coming to accept it or putting a gentle plan together to slowly lose it.
Hope you're ok

hippipotami the Food Doctor way of eating (not a diet as such) is good and is generally low GI, details on his website I linked to earlier www.thefooddoctor.com/ and in his books, which are very good IMO.

Thank you pannacotta
But your name makes me hungry....

agree with lewisfan, twinset. you poor love, you sound like you'll swap one punishment (over-eating) for another, being separated from dh. i don't really get that tbh.

by the way, you posted a photo of yourself a few months back, i thought you looked really good.

I will hippo - tomorrow most likely ok ?

Here is a poem to encourage us all; you know that one pound, just one measly, pointless pound you (we) lose? It introduces itself here....

Only One Pound

Hello! Do you know me? If you don't, you should. I'm a pound of fat. And I am the happiest pound of fat that you would ever want to meet.

Want to know why? It's because no one ever wants to lose me; I'm ONLY ONE POUND, just a pound!

Everyone wants to lose three pounds, five pounds, or fifteen pounds, but never only one.

So I just stick around and happily keep you fat. Then I add to myself, ever so slyly, so that you never seem to notice it. That is until I've grown to ten, twenty, thirty or even more pounds in weight.

Yes, it's fun being ONLY ONE POUND OF FAT, left to do as I please.

So, when you weigh in, keep right on saying, "Oh, I only lost one pound." (As if that were such a terrible thing) For you see, if you do this, you'll encourage others to keep me around because they'll think I'm not worth losing.

And, I love being around you ? your arms, your legs, your chin, your hips and every part of you.

Happy Days!!! After all, I'm ONLY ONE POUND OF FAT!!!

lewisfan your posts are fab and that poem is great. i'm going to print it out.

hippipotami you sound determined and positive. i hope we can all do it. i'm sick of my weight. we can take it pound by pound.

twinset really hope you are reading these posts.

Sign me up too please! What's your thread going to be called?

Not sure yet!

How about the Only One Pound Club; not too daunting then (I am a wimp, ya see!)

How about it Twins? Help each other gain health and gain happiness?

Twinset, I don't know you and don't want to preach, but please, read your OP and imagine it was written by your best friend. Don't you want to scream at her in protest?
Please don't do anything that will make you more miserable.
On a practical note, I have joined the foodfocus website, and it seems very good.
Good luck, I hope you can get to a happy weight.

Can I join too Lewis?

No need to ask!!

If you want to lose weight (especially if it's over 2 stone) then feel free to post

I think the over 2 stone thing because to be frank, it pisses me off when people say they have SO MUCH weight to lose and it turns out to be 14 / 20lbs! and we don't want to be put off.

I also think we need to set realistic goals; I'll go in to that over there though

I'll start now

I need to lose 9 stone at least.

i need to join, need to get rid of 3 stone !

come one, come all!

Me too please. Definately need to so something. Liking the low carb GI thing. need to loose 2-4 stone depending on how I go. Will be watching with interest. x

change to a raw food diet it will do miracles for you...sod WW and SW

raw food in this weather? are you mad?!

Here is hammerhouseofhorror's thread that eekeraindeer is talking about. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/big_slim_whatever_weight_loss_club/628284-i-39-ve-just-lost-4-stone-and-would-l ike

hiya, can i jion in please, i want to loose about 4 stone idealy and would still be overweight, but i would be very very happy with 4 stone
i am joining weightwatchers tomorrow with my dad.

we all know what to do, its just doing it.

twinset - just a thought from me, I had mild depression brought on by a work related problem and found I just could not lose weight - even lighter life (well actually herbalife but it's the same sort of thing) didn't work....

I'm not sure it's being undisciplined but more that being depressed makes you less likely to exercise, more likely to comfort eat, more likely to drink....

I have done ww successfully in the past but couldn't get it or anything else to 'work' while feeling low

I would advise going to see a councillor to sort out the self esteem and any other issues then attack the weight problem from positive perspective. the funny thing is it only took me a few sessions to get sorted out then the weight started to fall off (then stopped as i got PG!!!)

Good luck

Don't punish your daughter by not eating with her.

Lewis, you are a star and I love the one pound poem!

lizandlulu and lulumama, please all join, together we can do this!

twinset please join us, we will do this

hippi stops here for fear of sounding like an american cheerleader