Want to cry, nothing works

[Pusstachio]

I am 160cm and weigh 145lb. My waist is just under half my height in the morning but just over in the evening. I am overweight on my BMI.

Before my second child (now 5yo) I was a clear stone lighter.

I’ve tried everything except drugs. PT, health coach, various diets. Health coach did work but was crazy expensive, I couldn’t sustain the expense. She basically checked my MFP weekly and gave me workouts to do through the week.

I strength train once a week with a PT and for the past month have been running 5x a week and sticking to 1600-1700 cals. Just replaced the batteries in the scale and I’m 2lb heavier.

What do I do. Why is this so fucking hard. It wasn’t like this before my second child. I’m 40, is that it? How do I lose even some of this weight.

I was in a very similar situation but with more to lose. 1200 calories per day is the answer. 1200 is considered safe medically for a period of time so I really wouldn't worry from that perspective. Exercise is good but it's mainly dropping calories that's going to make you lose the weight.

In terms of what to eat, protein is your friend. I lived on boiled eggs, chicken and fish. With lots of veggies and salad. If you are careful about what you eat, you can eat enough to be full on 1200 cal.

Good luck! X

I am using nutracheck app and I've lost 12 pounds since January. I'm 45 and on 1400 cals a day. I have 3 kids and do exercise classes 3 times a week. So it is achievable. I am vegetarian so I think that does it make it slightly easier to feel full on 1400 cals. Don't give up! Xxx

Have you kept the weight off or are you still on it if you don't mind me asking as l am going to start it next week.

12lb in 2 months is epic! You must feel great!

I agree. I’m 5’8.5 and active and I wouldn’t lose on that.

I am 5' 11 and very overweight and my calorie goal for weight loss is 1700.
I think you need a lower amount.

How old are you? Long cardio sessions as we get older does something with insulin and cortisol and that makes losing weight so much harder. Hopefully somebody more expert can explain!

So you need an insulin resistant diet, basically Mediterranean is the one quoted quite often. Fasting might help too? Michael Mosley!s books are good on this subject.

What about trying intermittent fasting? I used to find as soon as I have breakfast I’m hungry soon after and never EVER thought I’d last until mid afternoon, but I do !!

So running, you might need to dial it down to zone 2 with some intervals for heart health?

Weights 3x a week too.

It’s bloody hard work losing weight after kids and as we get older with hormone issues etc. 😬

I’m taller and I only lose weight on 1,300. I’d change the workout to three runs and three strength training. And track on 1,200 with over 100g protein and no UPF. If you can’t do that then WLI.

waist to height has been shown to be more important than BMI. BMI not a good indicator, especially if you have larger thighs like you desccribe. Women with larger thighs and bum with good waist to height ratio are less likely to have heart disease. Your bloods are good, your waist to height is good. You have energy to do what you want physically. If you ate less you may lose weight but why would you want to if everything else is good? Why confuse your metabolism with calorie deficit when perhaps you are at a good weight now to be healthy and maintain where you are. If you can keep yourself stable that sounds more important than trying to lose?

My PT was the same but we soon realised that in my 40’s and menopausal definitely had to be taken into consideration. I genuinely can’t lose weight on a regular diet of over 1500 calories, I am closer to 1400/1450 most days and that allows me to have occasional meals out and a social life too without going completely haywire over the month.

I lift weights 3 times a week and do HYROX training 2 times a week.

We eat as a family and I just adjust my meals slightly. I don’t eat breakfast, more brunch than a snack or two and dinner.

You have to pick a goal.
Either the marathon or the weight loss, because it will be hard to lose weight when your body is shouting at you to eat eat and eat because of the runs.
Can you do the marathon next year and focus on your goals in time for summer? You need to lower your calories and it is hard to do that with high running volumes.
Ditch all the fakes. Fake meats, fake bacon, fake whatever and that includes proteins shakes and bars. Thinks beans, a different type everyday, quinoa, tofu, a lot of vegetables, oats for breakfast.

This.

I’m quite a bit taller than you and since peri-menopause I put weight on at 1400-1500 calories, and I’m very active.

My ‘TDEE’ is a lot higher than this, even disregarding all the exercise I do, but it’s meaningless with my hormones.

Are you lifting heavy? Don’t stop lifting weights as others have suggested, as weight lifting helps you lose weight more quickly and prevents you from losing muscle when in a calorie deficit.
Weight lifting is also essential for your age and above.
Too much cardio will just make you tired. And you need muscle strength to be a good runner.

If I was you I’d focus on protein, and ensure I was getting enough fibre. Don’t eat any processed foodstuffs whilst you’re actively trying to lose weight. Snack on banana and peanut butter, fruit smoothies, vege sticks and hummus - that sort of thing. And if you’re eating that way, you’ll feel naturally full and shouldn’t have to calorie count.
I eat clean for the most part (I allow myself the odd cake when having coffee with friends as I’m not actively trying to lose weight anymore) and I eat as much as I like, I naturally eat less because I’m fuller quicker and more satisfied by eating a good clean diet.
Also stay hydrated.
Losing weight and gaining muscle at the same time is absolutely possible, it’s called body recomposition.

Also depending on where I am in my cycle, I’m more hungry some days than others, and I just go with it. Eat more when you feel more hungry, less when you don’t. Don’t fight it or you’ll set yourself up to fail.

Trying to lose weight when training for a half
marathon is a terrible idea. Massive risk that if you do manage to restrict calories that your lose muscle, especially without adequate protein or strength training. I took MJ last summer whilst eating 1;200 a day and doing strength training each day. I ate enough protein (like over 120g and . I ran 5km
each day). I lost 12kg in 12 weeks according to scales pretty much all fat. And yes ended up with a 6 pack!

I’m going to try at 1400 and see how that goes. I really cannot afford to gain any more weight so I need to work out what maintenance is for me, apparently far far less than 1600.

We don’t eat too many UPFs beyond cereal for the kids as I don’t like Quorn. Sadly I can’t trust myself around peanut butter 😁

I’ve managed 1200 for short periods before but it was bloody hard work and I was in bed by 9 every evening with no energy at all, I’m not sure I can manage on that little and be doing school runs/clubs etc.

DH keeps merrily quoting ‘you need 2000 calories at me’ which is driving me crazy!

This.

You're training for a marathon, you absolutely need fuel. Please do not drastically drop your calories, and certainly not to 800 calories like some crazy poster was suggesting, or the ones suggesting WLIs can replace strength training!!

You need to fuel yourself properly for your marathon training. Weight loss isnt impossible at the same time, but will be slower. You risk injury if you marathon train in a drastic calories deficit. This is where your health coach was leading you right.

I don’t think once a week weight training will be enough to increase muscle in any meaningful way. Muscle growth is very slow and once a week isn’t really enough. 200g of muscle in 4 months would be excellent.

I was told to eat 1600 calories a day by my PT too. 1300-1400 works wayyy better for me. I don’t think they take height into account sometimes. I’m only 153cm so a small person!

Ask ChatGPT to make you a meal plan :) give it calories per day, stuff you like, stuff you don’t like, things definitely to include - it’s great - it’ll also write you a shopping list too if you want.

Healthy eating and 10k steps per day?

Agree, 1200 calls seems to be the average. I wouldn’t lose weight on 1600/1700

Going against the grain and saying that it obviously matters to the OP, she is not obviously orthorexic or anorexic so whether or not other posters think she should lose weight or not, she still wants to.

OP, what do YOU think made the difference when you had the personal trainer? What is your downfall? Portion size? Sugar? Alcohol? Snacking? I wouldn’t rule out WLJs but I think hypnosis could also work for you.

I think diet composition. Very fat & carb heavy. She had me on 500ml yoghurt in the morning to hit protein which was an undertaking tbh.

It was the accountability that made the difference. That’s what you’re paying for.

Your exercise regimen is impressive but it won’t necessarily drop weight. Sounds like you are noticing that.