Want to cry, nothing works

[Pusstachio]

I am 160cm and weigh 145lb. My waist is just under half my height in the morning but just over in the evening. I am overweight on my BMI.

Before my second child (now 5yo) I was a clear stone lighter.

I’ve tried everything except drugs. PT, health coach, various diets. Health coach did work but was crazy expensive, I couldn’t sustain the expense. She basically checked my MFP weekly and gave me workouts to do through the week.

I strength train once a week with a PT and for the past month have been running 5x a week and sticking to 1600-1700 cals. Just replaced the batteries in the scale and I’m 2lb heavier.

What do I do. Why is this so fucking hard. It wasn’t like this before my second child. I’m 40, is that it? How do I lose even some of this weight.

You’re only just a smidgen overweight. The strength training is building muscle and muscle is heavy.

Do you actually have a lot of body fat though? Do you like your shape? I think those are both more important than how much you actually weigh (unless you are a jockey or a boxer in which case your weight might be important).

Running training will be making you hungry, which is fine. I’d try to focus on fibre, hydration and protein as these all help with the insulin process - hopefully it’s possible to tweak existing meals to add more fibre/protein to what the kids are having?

We don’t eat meat so protein/carb ratio is always a bit wonky for us.

I don’t hate my shape but as a shorter woman I used to wear higher hems to look less squat and my thighs are a lot trunkier than they were. I have noticed they look more toned already, I suppose that’s why finally putting batteries back in the scale was such a let down.

I’d like less of a belly but that’s about it, my main concern is long term health. My mother and sister were both profoundly overweight and seeing them aging and dealing with long term problems caused by obesity is so sad. I’m mostly worried about my BMI and waist ratio as those are the health metrics, obviously apart from being a short arse I can dress from the high st still and my health doesn’t currently stop me doing anything.

Im neither a boxer nor a jockey but through choice not health limits- last time I was on a horse I met the floor quite unexpectedly and I cried at paintball and refused to shoot back so boxing poss not for me…

IF is your friend alongside a decent walk each day.
I put on loads of weight during covid and though I lost the first 9lbs with just watching what I ate it was once I got back to IF again ( just 18:6 nothing too extreme) then the weight dropped off properly and I am now at my lowest weight since I had DD1 more than 20 years ago. I eat dinner with DH nearly every day so it doesn't get in the way of normal life.
This is doable ( though much much much harder when you have small DC)

What is 18:6 IF? That’s really impressive!

The only thing that has ever worked for me is mounjaro

I’m glad you sound reasonably happy with your shape and size. It sounds as though you have a fair bit of muscle.

I understand your worries about health, but as you say, your mum and sister were profoundly overweight and of course that affects health. You are not profoundly overweight though. You’re not overweight by very much at all.

I love having muscle and I work hard to maintain it. I would probably be lighter if I didn’t lift weights so often. But I’d probably have a higher body fat % and I don’t want that. I hardly ever weigh myself because it just isn’t an important metric for me. I can see if my body fat % is increasing and I can feel if my clothes are getting tighter.

mounjaro was brilliant for me, however after being on it I had regained half of what I lost. A lot of people I know who were on it have found the same.

What’s motivating you? You don’t sound like you are unhealthy to be honest. BMI is a crap indicator- it was calculated based on white men, so unless you fall in that category it’s probably not relevant.
Are you dressing for your body shape to feel your best?
is your diet healthy? The exercise sounds great.

ETA sorry I didn’t see where you said about your diet. I totally understand where you’re coming from but I can also tell you I have cared for people in older age who are underweight and they have many but different health problems. You sound like you’re in a healthy middle.

Honestly, I take Mounjaro, but recommending it for someone who is barely even overweight seems like a huge step, to move into long term use of a prescription medication, used off label, for a condition (obesity or overweight with weight related health issues) that the OP doesn't have.

I'm 44 and 159cm, I have to drop to 1200 to lose but I'm not exercising and my sedentary tdee for maintenance is 1500 but I'm bmi 22.0 now after a 4st 4lbs loss with mounjaro. When I was bigger my tdee was slightly more. Could you try dropping to 1400-1500 if your maintenance is 1700, as you really need a 500 cal deficit to lose 1lb a week but with a 250 daily deficit, you would lose half lb a week. Also bear in mind hormones and water retention at certain times of month as well as stress and poor sleep raising cortisol levels which lead to fat gain and retention. Lowering carbs and increasing protein makes a massive difference to my weight and fat loss, yesterday I had 95g protein and I'm down 0.8lbs today since sunday by sticking to 1200 cals a day. I use high protein yoghurts or skyr and protein shake for breakfast to increase my protein. I was vegetarian for 5 years and gained 2 stones and was then also prediabetic. I ate carbs heavily then so its not an ideal diet for insulin resistance.

You eat in the 6 hours window and fast the rest of the time.
i.e. for me no breakfast( cannot eat first thing), lunch at 1, dinner at 7.

1600 to 1700 isn’t that low for your weight and height and could as like as bit be stable if you are assuming exercise counts towards calories

I’d not lose weight eating that many calories. Work out your tdee. It will tell you how many calories you need for weight loss. Mine was 1200.

Your weight has gone up by 2lb which is nothing, normal fluctuation probably. You're fit and healthy, and nothing like your relatives who were so overweight.

I'm on Mounjaro myself and have lost 3st and am now around the same weight as you, and the same height. Feels good and although I'm happy to lose a bit more I'm concentrating on health and fitness. I'm still taking it but my weight has been pretty much stable for months rather than continuing to lose so I don't think it's necessarily your answer. I can understand if you feel the 'real you' is slimmer that you're comparing yourself to that, but perhaps need to adjust your thinking.

Lol I thought it was eat whatever for 18 days and stick to a diet for 6 😅

I used to skip breakfast but the health coach made me reintroduce it so that would be manageable.

We are currently selling our house and I have lost sleep from stress in the last three weeks- would it really affect weight loss?

My mother died at 65 with several comorbidities and my sister has had to medically retire early due to mobility issues. My whole life people have said to me ‘this is the age your sister filled out’, when I started uni, got married, first and second child so I probably do have some issues to unpack.

I would also like to fit into some old clothes better and feel like myself more.

My calorie intake if I wanted to diet would be 1600 cals and I'm also 160cm but over 200lbs...

I would think in terms of body composition, it sounds like you've done a fuckton of work. So I would think your muscle mass will be higher than it was (which is a very good thing as you get older) and actually being lighter "might" be detrimental as you'd have to lose muscle to get there. As you get older, it's better to be at the higher end of the BMI scale.

You are not obese and you are fit and healthy. The running’s amazing. Is it certain parts of your body that you dislike? Is it aging or style more than your weight? Are you approaching menopause or have other health issues that need checking? If it’s purely the numbers on the scale, then I’d suggest using a calorie deficit calculator to check your calories, weigh and document your food (as you may be eating more than you think) and be kind to yourself. Training for a half marathon is badass and dropping calories without supporting your bodies needs will impact that.

Like you, I was overweight but not obese. I went on mounjaro and it’s been fantastic.

Look at Slimpod? Long term changes to form healthy habits without “dieting” and relying on willpower. I’m 51 and have lost 11 kg over the past 18 months. No meal plan, no calorie counting, lots of reasonable choices. I’m pretty pleased about that.

1600-1700 is very likely too many calories for 5ft2. Even if you’re active. I am also 5ft 2 and 40 and have to keep to 1200-1300 to lose anything, and even the it’s slow going.

You’re only 9lb off BMI of 25 so it will be difficult at this point.

Have you worked out your TDEE ? There are online calculators, they can take into account exercise etc. It tells you how many calories you need to eat to maintain your current weight and you can work out from that what your daily calories would need to look like to lose weight. Then if you put everything you eat and drink into into a calorie tracking app you can see what your intake is.

I have said on here a few times - I took Wegovy for vanity reasons. Not obese. And it fucked me up.... I ended up in hospital unable to poo.
I will have complications for life.
I also put on all the weight I lost plus some within 6 months.

It's not worth it.

Unfortunately you're eating too much to lose weight in my opinion OP.

I'm 5'5" and my weight varies between 9.5 stone (lightest) and 11 stone (heaviest). I never lose weight unless I stick rigidly to 1000 calories per day, and even then it's at rate of less than 1lb per week. I run 5 miles 3 times a week, and have done for 20 years.

Unpack those issues. Please don't go taking medication or 'fasting'. You are healthy and strong, you risk losing that chasing skinny.

Well now that would be good .... but no.
Do it for 2 weeks and come back to let us know how much you lost.
Good luck