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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Original poster

Husband isn't happy with my weight lossǰ

83 replies

Afrowelsh · 15/08/2025 14:30

Hi,

I have lost 26 kg, because DH didn't find me attractive anymore. Now I am at 70kg, and DH is complaining about how he isn't finding attractive anymore. I don't know what to do. He doesn't like me obese , he doesn't like me average?

OP posts:
PragmaticIsh · 15/08/2025 14:32

Well he's a prince amongst men!! I do understand that attraction is a personal preference, but he doesn't get to dislike everything without coming across as arrogant, rude and unkind.

Ignore him and do what suits you!

Radiowaawaa · 15/08/2025 14:32

He can fuck off then really.

How do you feel about your body?

Original poster
Afrowelsh · 15/08/2025 14:32

Sorry for my title, it meant ' loss'.

OP posts:
Original poster
Afrowelsh · 15/08/2025 14:34

Radiowaawaa
I feel great, I worked. For the wrong reasons imo. But I feel good.

OP posts:
Plump82 · 15/08/2025 14:40

How about you lose another 100kg odd by getting rid of that absolute lump!!

MemorableTrenchcoat · 15/08/2025 14:41

Well, what does he want? Does he think you're now underweight?

Pinkflower100 · 15/08/2025 15:23

So he tried to make you feel bad and unattractive and said you needed to lose weight? He never expected you to manage it. Now you have he continues to make you feel bad and attractive. Get rid!

Catsandcannedbeans · 15/08/2025 15:25

First of all - well done!! That’s amazing weight loss!! I hope you are as happy as you are healthy!!

Second of all - he sounds like a dick. Unless you’re really tall 70kg is pretty normal?? Not underweight and not overweight. To be totally honest with you I don’t think this is about you - seems like a him problem. Don’t waste your time trying to be his perfect weight, do what makes you happy and healthy and he can fall in line of fuck off.

doodleschnoodle · 15/08/2025 15:27

‘He doesn't like me obese , he doesn't like me average.’

Does he perhaps just not like you full stop? I don’t mean that to sound as harsh as it probably does, but it sounds like whatever you do it isn’t good enough for him so I doubt it’s really about the weight. I loved my husband at 38 BMI and I love him at 25 BMI. I’m happier he’s thinner as it’s healthier for him but I have loved and supported him whatever weight he’s been.

Lafufufu · 15/08/2025 15:29

He sounds... charming 🤨

What's his actual "complaint"???

DorothyStorm · 15/08/2025 15:30

Sounds like husband doesnt like you anymore, is planning to leave, and you just took away his excuse.

CosmicEcho · 15/08/2025 15:39

This isn’t about your weight. He wants to make you feel bad. Is he controlling?
Well done op. Keep going and focus on your health. Don’t let him bring you down.

bumbaloo · 15/08/2025 15:41

My dh loves me fat, skinny and everything in between. If yours doesn’t then he doesn’t love you. Bin.

LadybugsAndSunshine · 15/08/2025 15:44

What was he expecting to achieve by telling you this.. Sorry babe, I’ll start eating more so you can feel less insecure and go back to slagging me off for being fat.

Princessfluffy · 15/08/2025 15:48

So he doesn’t like you regardless of your physical size. How do you feel about him?

PInkyStarfish · 15/08/2025 15:49

Translation - he hated you being fat because he thought you were an embarrassment in front of other men and made you feel insecure.

Now you are slim/slimmer he is insecure that other men ill find you attractive and you will leave him.

Dump him.

SecretNameAsImShy · 15/08/2025 16:06

I am using WLI to lose weight. My DH who doesn’t really want me to use them said over dinner one night “you don’t need to do this for me”. I literally laughed in his face and told him it wasn’t for him but for ME.

Sod what your DH thinks. You do you!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 15/08/2025 16:15

He's just negging you. Saying you weren't attractive when larger was to keep you grateful for his attention and not realising you could do better, now you've lost weight, he's saying you aren't attractive to keep you grateful for his attention and not realising you could do better.

Of course, in this context, whilst doing better in his mind is Any Other Bloke, it can also mean just not having to deal with his psychological manipulation and bullying anymore and getting a cat/dog/horse/baby yak for a far more emotionally satisfying and supportive relationship.

YourWildAmberSloth · 15/08/2025 16:53

He isn't happy with you. Sorry to be blunt and I'm sorry that you're in this situation but he's using your weight as an excuse. You were too fat, and now you're too slim. He's looking for something to blame instead of just being honest with you.

Mysticmaiden · 15/08/2025 18:44

doodleschnoodle · 15/08/2025 15:27

‘He doesn't like me obese , he doesn't like me average.’

Does he perhaps just not like you full stop? I don’t mean that to sound as harsh as it probably does, but it sounds like whatever you do it isn’t good enough for him so I doubt it’s really about the weight. I loved my husband at 38 BMI and I love him at 25 BMI. I’m happier he’s thinner as it’s healthier for him but I have loved and supported him whatever weight he’s been.

He just sounds miserable and unhappy for whatever reason. Maybe have a sit down chat and find out what's going on?
There's a reason why I've been single for 15 years..who needs to spend their time and energy with a person who doesn't appreciate them.

Trotula · 15/08/2025 18:47

Is he overweight?

TomatoSandwiches · 15/08/2025 18:51

Sounds like a him problem.

Why would you want to hang around and hear this on the daily?

Dunnocantthinkofone · 15/08/2025 18:51

Sorry but he is simply using your weight as a stick to bash you with. He will do it whatever weight you are…….because it has absolutely nothing to do with your weight. It’s a means of belittling you and keeping you ‘in your place’
Which is presumably in his (tiny) mind concentrating your efforts in life in keeping him happy - despite the fact that he appears a useless and pathetic shit who wants an ego boost at your expense
Seriously, behaving like this, how on earth can YOU find HIM attractive?

arethereanyleftatall · 15/08/2025 18:53

Why. The. Absolute. fuck. Do women stay with abhorrent vile men like this? Every fucking day.

how can this possibly be better than being single.

Mysticmaiden · 15/08/2025 18:53

Dunnocantthinkofone · 15/08/2025 18:51

Sorry but he is simply using your weight as a stick to bash you with. He will do it whatever weight you are…….because it has absolutely nothing to do with your weight. It’s a means of belittling you and keeping you ‘in your place’
Which is presumably in his (tiny) mind concentrating your efforts in life in keeping him happy - despite the fact that he appears a useless and pathetic shit who wants an ego boost at your expense
Seriously, behaving like this, how on earth can YOU find HIM attractive?

Agree with this, sounds like he has the power in the relationship and plays mind games to keep it that way.