@poorpaws exactly, I need the rules. I would even go as far as to say I get comfort from them. I like the “data” I like to track my calories burned on my watch and count my steps, and track my food and all those diet things. It’s all I’ve ever known. But, and here’s the big BUT, it doesn’t “work” does it? It doesn’t get the results I want, it doesn’t make me feel happy.
there’s always a smug cool self satisfied voice on the threads I read, who isn’t tied into this diet culture, is happy with their size, who has healed their relationship with food. I would love to feel that I have done that, but I don’t know how to make the jump to doing it, to trusting myself. I wonder if you could maybe do one day off a week, then two, then three? And by “off” I don’t mean a “cheat day” with thousands of calories, I mean a…. What can I call it? A “self care” day where I eat healthy nutritious foods, eat when I’m hungry, stop when I’m full, take my Garmin off and just exercise for the enjoyment, enjoy avocado and bread and cheese and just trust myself.
i also know that in doing that, on those “off” days, a whole shit tonne of food woohoo is gonna come tumbling out. I think the biggest thing for me will be noting it down, but not trying to deal with it on the day when I don’t have my safety nets in place. I’ll have to deal with those things when I’m in my secure place.
eg a big one for me is portion size, why do I need to eat until I feel so stuffed? Why do I always need more? I didn’t grow up in poverty or have food restricted. It would be hard for me to address this on a day when I’ve given myself carte Blanche to eat. My calorie counting/food tracking helps me to say “that’s enough now” but really, I would eat and eat and eat if I let myself.
i already feel quite fearful of this process and the thought of putting this into action.