Please help. I am desperate.

[Rainbowl]

Been yoyo dieting for over ten years. Fatter than ever. BMI is 40. Size 20-22 and absolutely fucking miserable with it.

I hate myself. My self esteem is non existent. My marriage lacks intimacy because I can’t stand how I look and feel. I’m a terrible example to my kids. None of my clothes fit. The ones that do are cheap and nasty because I can’t afford to buy nice clothes that will probably be too small soon.

All I think about is my weight. Yet I cannot stop fucking eating. Chocolate mainly. All day. Every day. Constantly grazing on it. Binging too.

Oldest keeps asking if I have a baby in my tummy. I’m always the fattest person in the room. Fattest person in my extended family. I’ve even got a double chin now.

I have tried everything:
Slimming World
Weight Watchers
Slim Pod
Cambridge
Slim Fast
IF
Low carb
Calorie counting
Personal Trainer
Therapy
Not dieting
Brain over Binge
and various other things over the years I’ve probably forgotten about.

Had bloods taken to check for physiological reasons. Not on any medication. No answers there.

Nothing works. I can’t keep the weight off. I am an intelligent, successful woman in her mid-30s who loves cooking and healthy foods and yet cannot stop eating shit. I have a history of depression but other than being completely obsessed and miserable about my weight, my mood is fine.

I don’t know what to do any more. I can’t go on like this. I think I’m going to eat myself to death.

I did an e-consult this morning with the GP saying I was desperate for help. I hoped I’d get a same day appointment but it’s next week. What do I do? What do I say? I’m hoping they can give me injections or surgery because at this point, I’ve given up on being able to do it myself.

Has anyone been in a similar position and can advise please?

Yes there have been threads here about similar experiences.

im sorry you are feeling like this, its often a crisis point that leads us to making change, however the mistake is trying to change too much too soon.

you need small realistic goals to get going. Don’t look at the end result you wish for, set yourself small goals. Walk more, drink more water. Do this for a few days. This is a positive change. Then you can add in more small positive changes at a slow pace. It’s not a race. Don’t bother with all the fad diets.

They might not be able to prescribe the jabs most people buy them privately. There are lots of threads about wegovy on this forum you can take a look.

You are not your body. But until you value yourself, this is a never ending cycle. Don’t be so hard on yourself you are not a failure. Most of us have been in this boat many times over, we aren’t failures or awful people either. You need to be kinder to yourself and want to take care of your wellbeing

Ozempic I'm afraid.

It's like a switch is flipped.

You'll suddenly become Meh about food. It's wondrous

Can I ask, if you then decide to have a “treat” day or went on holiday etc would you then still enjoy the food as much as before?

Have you tried second nature? It’s honestly amazing. It’s about learning to eat normally so you stay full rather than starving/binging. It’s the best program I’ve ever done and I’ve done them all!!! You get a dietitian so it’s all based on proper science and is NHS endorsed.

some GPS will refer you for free so worth asking your gp this.

if not I have a referral code for £40 off - https://www.secondnature.io/invite/victof0

H

You wouldn't fancy a treat day tbh.

You can eat treats, you'll just eat a lot less.

I’ve been telling myself I can’t afford to buy Ozempic etc but I’ve just done some mental maths and I’m probably spending around that amount on junk every month anyway.

I think it’s the only option left for me.

Hypnosis is another option, to switch off that part of your mind which equates eating sweet food as a comfort/treat.

Second nature does a dual program with weight loss drugs and the actual program too fyi.

Did low carb or intermittent fasting work for you while you were doing it? Is the issue falling off the wagon?
I think for some of us, there's no going back to how we used to eat. It has to be something to stick with forever.

It's psychological and you have to change that.

I was exactly the same as you and I got a gastric sleeve.

Lost 7 stone but gained 2 back as I'm still doing the same thing as I never sorted my head out. I'm a food addict.

I actually think sometimes it's physiological. All to do with addiction and insulin resistance. That's why it's so hard to deal with.
Sugar and processed foods are highly addictive.

Wegovy is the version of Ozempic which is approved for weight loss. It’s available from Boots, Asda and Superdrug. It is really worth thinking about. It doesn’t just reduce your appetite. It works on insulin and a hormone that doesn’t work too well in most obese people.

There are loads of threads on here about both Ozempic and Wegovy. And now also Mounjaro which is another similar but newer drug.

There is no shame in needing help at this stage. Obesity is complicated. And it’s not just about will power. Or just psychological. There is a lot more to it.

Yes it’s expensive but think about what you are spending on food. You may find it balances out a bit.

I cannot stop fucking eating. Chocolate mainly. All day. Every day. Constantly grazing on it. Binging too

>>> Sugar and processed foods are highly addictive !!!

Cut out UPF, chocolates, sugar and your urge to binge will be much reduced. Eat vegetables, fruit and lean protein instead.

Have a look at the following to help you on your way:

The Sugar Solution by Dr Mark Hyman
Dr Becky Gillaspy's short videos on YouTube.

Sugar is addictive, there’s a more and more research showing that it acts like a drug. I’m sure there are many people much more experienced at losing weight than me, but as with any addiction, it’s hard, it requires giving up the drug and then sticking to that.
It’s easier for some people and harder for others, it took me 10 years of failed attempts to quit smoking and then drastically cut down booze, when my DH just did it overnight.
I would start by not having chocolate at home, at all. I don’t have any treats home because my impulse control is low and if I have some crisps or a jar of Nutella, I would just eat it in one go. Out of sight out of mind.

Anything I try will work at first, I can lose weight. I just can’t stay motivated for long enough to lose enough and keep it off. I am addicted to unhealthy foods, ie highly processed stuff full of sugar. No one ever became as fat as me because they ate too much steamed fish and broccoli, did they?

That’s why I’m saying I think I need drastic action because 10 years of trying to eat less junk, eat more protein, eat more vegetables… has not worked. I really wish it was that simple for me but it just isn’t.

If someone could lock me in a room for a month and only feed me healthy food I’d be fine. But in the every day world, I am too weak to win this battle.

gastric sleeve. Game changer.

Have a look at the following:

The Sugar Solution by Dr Mark Hyman
Dr Becky Gillaspy's short videos on YouTube.

The book is an excellent explanation of why we get addicted to UPF and sweet stuff, with lots of suggestions on how to beat the addiction.

Dr Becky's 10-minute talks are both informative and practical.

Definitely worth reading/watching

Not always. Like I said I had one 3 years ago and never addressed my issues so I still over eat and have gained 20lbs back from my smallest weigh in.

I'm still addicted to chocolate and junk.
I throw up and get dizzy alot now because I can't tolerate it. But I still do it.

Well, those issue aren’t yours to address. It was the answer to my problems.

Yes but your throwing it out like like it's a guaranteed solution.
When many people struggle even more after the sleeve. It's non reversible, it's a huge commitment.

I used to eat chocolate every day but now only eat it on Sundays. Maybe you could try cutting down gradually so that you only eat it weekly too?

I could have written this exact post myself. I have an appointment with the GP in April. This is the first time I've felt able (well... not really, but I'm gonna give it a go!) to phone them and ask for help. I know what I should be eating, I just can't seem to manage it.
I hope that you get the help you need.

Sorry keep banging on about second nature but it’s been a game changer for me after 30 years of trying diets. The dieticians tackle all the physiological aspect of food too, I feel no guilt eating food anymore and I’m learning so much! . I didn’t realise how addicted I was to sugar and junk! It’s been an eye opener. Did you know that what you eat directly affects your mood? I’ve been suffering from anxiety for years and it’s lifting

Telling yourself that you're addicted to unhealthy food isn't going to help you (and it also isn't true, in the strict definition of addiction) because you're telling yourself nothing can change and it's out of your control.

We often find ourselves doing things for comfort or simply to ease negative feelings and give us a brief moment of pleasure (smoking, eating chocolate etc.). More often than not this is because we have been programmed from an early age to regard these brief moments as a solution to our problems.

When we are very young we have no long-term goals or aims, we are only concerned with feeling happy NOW. As an infant our problems were “I feel bad...give me something to make me feel better,” and the solution was a sweet, a chocolate or a biscuit.

But he solutions of the child no longer solve the problems of the adult. Eating a piece of chocolate provides only a brief moment of pleasure (swiftly followed by guilt and self loathing) and the thing that was stressing us out remains no nearer to a solution. That's what you need to address, and what hypnosis can help you with.