Defeated by fatness no more

[BreathingDeep]

Happy Monday!

Following my thread last week about how I, and so many of us, are feeling like we're defeated by our weight, here's a support thread for those of us who don't want stop ourselves from living the lives we want any more.

There were some amazing stories shared and so much honesty about how this is a struggle for so many of us. Here's the thread for anyone wanting to read:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4225173-Defeated-by-my-fatness-am-I-alone

I know that I am sick of feeling ashamed of myself. Sick of hiding away. Sick of feeling that I'm judged for my weight. Sick of feeling that I'm letting myself and my family down. Sick of feeling that my inside doesn't match the outside. Sick of living in the same few outfits because everything else is too tight or looks terrible. Sick of seeking solace in food that doesn't nourish me. Sick of treating myself badly.

If you feel the same, come and join us! Everyone will have their own journey, their own approach and that's fine - please, no criticism or judgement of anyone's plan. The main aim is that we all take steps, every single day, to make ourselves feel better about ourselves.

For me, that means today will include drinking water, taking a long lunch and having a dog walk with a friend (this NEVER happens because work always comes first) and sticking with my Cambridge plan.

How about you?

Well done! That's brilliant.

@Fruityfriday and @Roussette we are almost mirroring each other. I don't think it's too much to hope for under 12 st in eight weeks? My birthday is on the 17th July and that's my next target.

I started at 13.7. Weighed today at 13.2. Can't believe it really- combo of 15,000 steps every day and strict calorie counting on my Fitbit.

Well done everyone else for your losses! I think we can do this! Thanks OP for starting this- hope you are ok.

On MFP it seems to think so, I am 13st 1.5lbs at the moment so should happen @Peachypips78.
(even though the weekend was not very good)

I have been mega lazy today though so well done on 15,000 steps! Tomorrow is my next C25K, week 3...I cannot imagine how I'll cope with that, but if I struggle I'll just repeat week 2.

I'm down 2lbs this week, which isn't bad as I have been a bit naughty over the weekend!

Great! I live in hope. I'm going for it this week!

Still 13'1 this morning. I'm going to be good this week and weigh in on Friday. Have 7 weeks until my birthday so that 2lbs every week which will be tough going but I'm determined.Then the aim is 11stine by September and 10.5 by Christmas.

I'm struggling because I had the AZ vax on the 28th March and haven't had a period since. It's done a runner, but I've had the bloating and stomach cramps. I'm sure that's why I'm hanging onto some bubber

Morning everyone. Had a very calorie laden long weekend and not sure where my head is at this morning. Really want to shift this nearly 2 stone regain so that I can fit back into clothes that I bought at my lightest. I've been reading so much about low carb and fasting that I feel if I don't give it a go I will never know if it's what will make the difference for me. My willpower and determination isn't feeling quite up to the challenge at the moment . Maybe I need to make incremental steps with the fasting. I'm very entrenched with a carby breakfast though. I can drop carbs elsewhere usually but I struggle with breakfast. Oh well, nothing ventured, nothing gained as they say- I will update later.

@onesmallstep67 the low carb thing does work, but is a little hard to start with whilst you're body gets used to not having carbs.

Having read Jason Fung's obesity code I am combining slimming world with fasting. His book makes a lot of sense, in that your body needs a break from digesting food all the time. I find that if I have breakfast, I am hungry all day and just cannot stop eating. It had been a no brainer for me to stop eating breakfast. I have my last meal before 8pm and then have lunch between 1 & 2 pm the following day. I have also incorporated a 24 hour fast once a week into my diet and it is fine. I just drink water if I'm hungry, but I definitely feel better for doing it.
I have had a great weekend food wise, but had a Chinese takeaway last night, so am fasting today and will probably just have an omlette and salad tonight.
I'm due to get weighed On Thursday so will see if that strategy works. I won't do the takeaway every week but I will continue with the fasting.

Hope everyone else is still doing OK.

Good luck with it Onesmallstep67, we all know how hard it is.

I did my wk3 run 1 c25k this morning. Now... I cant pretend I found it easy... I didn't. But I did find it easier than wk2 because it was shorter time of the whole thing although longer runs. I lumbered around and managed it.

Fruity that sounds like a great aim. I weigh the same so will aim with you!

@Onesmallstep67 do you like sourdough bread? I think it is a good option on a low carb diet - something to do with it changing the way your body breaks down carbs or something, can't quite remember the science! Anyway, I definitely feel less bloated having that for breakfast rather than other types of bread so might be one to try if you fancy a carby breakfast

I bloody love sourdough. But that has been my downfall. I'm sure it is better for you, don't doubt that, but not in the quantities I've been eating it because breadmaking has been my lockdown hobby for a year

Why couldn't I have chosen crochet or knitting?

Hi everyone, I've been lurking on this thread and feel like it's time I got involved.

I've felt defeated by fatness for decades - I'm 174cm tall (~5'9) and at my heaviest, around 12 years ago, I was 105kg (16.5 stone). I did Weight Watchers and lost a bit. I've hovered between 14 and 15 stone since then, got down to 13.5 for my wedding five years ago, then it crept back up due to renovation and work stress.

I have a large build so I've always carried it well, but still, now I'm nearly 40 I've been worrying a lot about the toll on my health. I was diagnosed with PCOS in my early twenties so I'm sure I must be insulin resistant, if not actually pre-diabetic. Stress and insomnia won't help either - they're probably the biggest factor in my health issues really, since by themselves they raise blood sugar.

The thing is, I love food. Good food. I'm a great cook and a gluttonous gourmande. My weaknesses aren't junk (though I'm not snobby about junk food, some of it is bloody delicious), I just eat way too much of the good stuff, especially refined carbs.

Last year I started 16:8 fasting and lost a good amount. I don't know exactly how much as I didn't have scales then. We went a bit nuts at Christmas and then were eating far too much carby stuff for a month or so afterwards, so we bought some scales and got back into it.

I was 85kg two months ago. I added a weekly 24hr fast to my usual 16:8, and have gone low carb. Probably under 50g most days, and all from vegetables, bar a small portion of raw oats with full fat Greek yoghurt for lunch each day.

I'm now at 79kg (12.5 stone). I haven't been this slim in 20 years. 3 more kilos gets my BMI under 25. That was my initial target, which on its own has felt completely impossible for decades. Now I think I should aim for 6 more kilos (1 stone), and get down to a BMI of 24. I think lower than that will be hard for me, as I do have a large frame, and I don't really feel like I want or need to go lower. Even that target seems like a fantasy somehow - I can't imagine what I will look like as I haven't been that small since my teens.

I can't explain what changed in my mind to make me suddenly do it. I think it was the fear of diabetes, which just washed over me earlier this year for no particular reason. I can be a bit "worried well" at times, and the stress of fretting over it is probably as bad as if I actually had any of the conditions I sometimes imagine I do. It's idiotic really.

Anyway, sorry to go on. I wanted to tell the story so far partly just to let you all know that it can be done. Doing the lowish carb and fasting thing has really helped, because I've found it infinitely easier than calorie counting. The weight has fallen off and I don't feel hungry anymore, even though I'm eating less by an order of magnitude.

I do feel like I've reached a bit of a plateau however, and I'm scared of falling back into bad habits, or not reaching my target after all this work. I've got guests visiting for about two weeks this month and I know they'll want to carouse and feast of an evening. It's going to be tough.

I'm quite active (gardening etc), but I need to exercise in a more focused way, so I've started HIIT workouts and doing more yoga (I use the Down Dog apps for these).

I just need to stay on the path for a couple more months until I reach my target. Please help me!

@TheLeadbetterLife

What a great post. And so inspiring.

On this...
"The thing is, I love food. Good food. I'm a great cook and a gluttonous gourmande. My weaknesses aren't junk (though I'm not snobby about junk food, some of it is bloody delicious), I just eat way too much of the good stuff, especially refined carbs"
This is me.
I love eating good food. I love pie chips and beans too !

I love cooking good food. My problem is portion size I think. Basically all the things I love and am good at cooking are pretty fattening really.

I too have a large-ish frame and I do think you can overdo it. I've been a size 20 and lost 5 stone and got a bit obsessive and fitted into a size 8/10. It was not me. It was unhealthy and unmanageable and not right for my frame. Hence why I am here again....
If I could get to a size 14 and stay there I'd be happy.

My reason for doing it is my age. I'm mid 60s and if I don't do it now, I never will. Plus I'm doing C25K and trying to do that when I'm ancient will be impossible!

So interested to read your story, thank you.

I hear you on the portion sizes Roussette - feasting had become normal to us (it's just my husband and me, no kids, and we're both greedy pigs).

Thankfully I'm not into baking and don't have much of a sweet tooth, but I live in a country which has fabulous every day bread, and I shudder to think of how much of it I could eat, slathered in butter and local honey. I mean, I still could, but I won't.

I've decided to assume that I am pre-diabetic and think of sugar and refined carbs as something to which I'm intolerant. Once I've lost the weight I may start testing my blood sugar response so that I can properly assess the situation.

Although it terrifies me (the obsessive late night googling is counterproductive), health keeps me on the straight and narrow better than vanity. That said, I do hope that I can have white bread and honey again as an occasional treat. And home made pizza. And Christmas cake, and marzipan, and, and, and...

You are us LeadB

Me and DH, we love our food. There is nothing like a homecooked delicious meal followed by a creamy fattening Cambazola washed down with Rioja!

My only saving grace is... I don't have a huge sweet tooth but as with many on this thread maybe... if it was there I would eat it!

It's all about retraining ourselves I suppose and at the moment I just feel I have tried really hard for the last 3 weeks (when I started) and I dont want to waste that effort.

Oh, and on the large frame thing - yes, thinking in absolute terms about dress size and BMI is probably not great. Someone has to be near the end of the curve, and I am built like a Norse warrior.

Currently most of my size 16 clothes are loose on me, but two months ago some of them were uncomfortably tight. Now they all look great.

I'm almost reluctant to lose more because the thought of having to buy a load of new clothes is depressing. I don't think another 6kg will make most of the size 16s unwearable though, as I have large breasts and wide hips. Plus I think casually fitted clothes are more elegant, and I can have my nice things altered if needs be. A manageable size 14 / 16 (42/44 here) would be fine.

I've never, ever been a size 8/10, I don't think it would be physically possible for me without an eating disorder. Once I came out of children's sizes I was pretty much a 12, as I developed early.

@Roussette

You are us LeadB

Me and DH, we love our food. There is nothing like a homecooked delicious meal followed by a creamy fattening Cambazola washed down with Rioja!

My only saving grace is... I don't have a huge sweet tooth but as with many on this thread maybe... if it was there I would eat it!

It's all about retraining ourselves I suppose and at the moment I just feel I have tried really hard for the last 3 weeks (when I started) and I dont want to waste that effort.

if you don't have a sweet tooth you might find the lowish carb / Mediterranean diet a good option for you.

I don't worry about fatty foods at all now, I only worry about sugar and refined carbs. So although I am keeping portion sizes much smaller day to day, the foods I'm eating are quite high in fat and protein. Full fat dairy and cheese is nutritious and doesn't raise blood sugar.

I saw someone on another thread who follows this type of diet say that when she needs to binge (as we gluttons do from time to time, because of our underlying psychological baggage...), she doesn't give herself a hard time about it, but makes sure it's only things that don't raise blood sugar.

I think I'm going to take this approach once I've got to my target weight. If I need to binge once in a while, I'll do it, but not on bread or cream crackers (an odd weakness of mine). I'll have something like cheese, pate, charcuterie, nuts, pork scratchings, egg mayonnaise, roast chicken etc instead. Too many calories, yes, but at least it won't be actively poisoning me like sugar does.

My favourite snack at the moment is a stick of celery with a tablespoon of 100% peanut butter spread into the crevice. God it's good.

I don't think another 6kg will make most of the size 16s unwearable though, as I have large breasts and wide hips. Plus I think casually fitted clothes are more elegant, and I can have my nice things altered if needs be. A manageable size 14 / 16 (42/44 here) would be fine

Yes yes yes to this.
Our holiday of a lifetime a year ago didn't happen. We're now (hopefully) going on one Autumn 2022 and I want those clothes I love to be loose on me. I love the look of clothes that are too big because I never experience that 🤣

I've never, ever been a size 8/10, I don't think it would be physically possible for me without an eating disorder

I looked awful and ill because it was not a natural size. My face was very wrinkly from having lost so much. I am not going to pretend that for that year or two I stayed like that, that I didn't enjoy it but it was really not good for me and I'm more realistic now.

Thank you so much for the last encouraging post about a Mediterranean diet. It is what I veer towards and think it would suit me more.
I don't crave chocolate or sweet things but I do crave cheese!

Leadbetter hi! I completely identify with so much of what you have said (except the bit about not having a sweet tooth - I have that on top of being a gluttonous gourmande!). I too am motivated now by health fears, not vanity, and it is giving me a proper kick up the bum. I am also thinking of refined carbs as making me ill - because I am sure they actually are. And huge portion sizes - guilty 🙋🏻‍♀️

Sadly I love to bake, and with fussy kids (who eat a very limited range of proper meals but are more flexible about baked goods - go figure!) my savoury cooking has been in a rut and I’ve focussed more on interesting baking over the last few years. I need to get back to proper cooking, definitely.

You’ve done so well to lose what you have and especially not to find it too painful. I probably have 6st to lose but think something near 5 will do for me - I have big bust and hips. And I fear the sag!

Had a pretty good weekend sticking to the plan. I did have a small square of apple and salted caramel slice last night for pudding. I’m allowing myself to join the family for dessert once a week - sweet things only after a meal, not on their own.

Right now I have a filthy drippy cold and feel quite fed up - but in spite of this mu skin has never looked better and I still have more energy than 2 weeks ago when I was eating rubbish. Low carb defo suits me. I just hope I can keep it up!

I still think it’ll be another month of sticking to the plan before I can fit into my pre-covid work trousers . Would also really like to lose the back fat bra indent!

I have so much admiration for people who try to lose weight whilst feeding a family, I honestly don’t know how you do it (or raising children for that matter).

It’s so much easier when it’s just two of you, especially when the other person wants to do it too. It makes it even more pathetic that I never managed it before now.

Saggy skin is a concern for me too @HalfWomanHalfChocolate - the elasticity has really gone downhill the last couple of years. I look back at old photos of me and yes, I’m fat in most of them, but damn I looked young and fresh!

I think saggy skin is part luck, part pace of loss and exercise.

I lost 4 stone in 4 months at 28 last year, and I have a tummy fold and very droopy boobs!

I did exercise but I wish I'd gone slower with more toning. I think it would have helped the tummy at least. The boobs are a law unto themselves though. I look like I've breastfed a litter.

Morning all, I'm so sorry to have gone AWOL. We had a family bereavement which, although expected, has wiped the floor with me. Unsurprisingly, everything has gone tits up, including my healthy decision making.

What I do know is that I can't carry on like this. This is utterly miserable. I am huge, unfit and so unhealthy so today, I begin again.

You're all doing so bloody brilliantly, well done you!

Just came across the thread .. thank you @BreathingDeep .. so sorry to hear of your bereavement.. reading all the comments is inspirational, very helpful and maybe just what I need ! Keep going everyone 💐

@BreathingDeep
So sorry to hear this. Be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up for letting things go, it is quite understandable, and you have more important things to think about.

Long walk this morning but I overslept today so I'm all over the place and need to get my act together!