Defeated by fatness no more

[BreathingDeep]

Happy Monday!

Following my thread last week about how I, and so many of us, are feeling like we're defeated by our weight, here's a support thread for those of us who don't want stop ourselves from living the lives we want any more.

There were some amazing stories shared and so much honesty about how this is a struggle for so many of us. Here's the thread for anyone wanting to read:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4225173-Defeated-by-my-fatness-am-I-alone

I know that I am sick of feeling ashamed of myself. Sick of hiding away. Sick of feeling that I'm judged for my weight. Sick of feeling that I'm letting myself and my family down. Sick of feeling that my inside doesn't match the outside. Sick of living in the same few outfits because everything else is too tight or looks terrible. Sick of seeking solace in food that doesn't nourish me. Sick of treating myself badly.

If you feel the same, come and join us! Everyone will have their own journey, their own approach and that's fine - please, no criticism or judgement of anyone's plan. The main aim is that we all take steps, every single day, to make ourselves feel better about ourselves.

For me, that means today will include drinking water, taking a long lunch and having a dog walk with a friend (this NEVER happens because work always comes first) and sticking with my Cambridge plan.

How about you?

@Roussette we're definitely on the same schedule- I've just finished W2R2 also. I was a bit wary as I found Wednesday really tough and my calves were screaming at me, but actually today was great. Managed to extend each run by 30 seconds and continued the intervals through the cool down. Then ran for 4 whole minutes after that. (I say ran....a crawling baby would be faster, but that it the point)!

Don't be disheartened by 1lb loss. Everything I read says that 1-2lbs a week is the best way to lose - slow and steady!

@altlife my calves have really been bothering me too. I find going for a long, slow walk on the days I don't run really helps to stretch them out

sylv that is brilliant! Extending the run and carrying on in between is great. I aim for better on Sunday. I was rather distracted as needed to get home for a phone call so I don't think I was concentrating enough but I did it
And yes 1 lb is the sustainable way I keep telling myself!

If someone said to me you will be 3 st 10lbs lighter on May 1st 2022 I would be delighted by that prospect. That's what losing 1lb a week represents.
Well done to everyone getting out on the C25K runs. I must get myself out of the house and into some sort of a routine with exercise. I keep promising myself that I will draw up some sort of daily timetable for food, exercise and water. I should probably try fitting in a fasting window to that.

I also could have written that post- when you said 'I hate the feeling that I have had my last food of the day' I had never thought of it before, but that's exactly how I feel!

We will not be defeated by our fatness this weekend!!!!

@sylv165 I toyed with the idea of going for a long walk. The sofa won that one 

@Roussette you seem so focused, I need me some of this!

I'm dreading W3 so will be keeping up with your posts for some motivation (no pressure!)

@Onesmallstep67 I keep meaning to do a timetable thing too! I've also considered putting reminders : photos on the 'naughty cupboard' but I haven't managed it just yet 🙈

Oh believe me Altlife I am not focussed enough.
Tonight we had homemade pizza and red wine, but I am still keeping on with it and tomorrow is another day!

@Roussette

Oh believe me Altlife I am not focussed enough. Tonight we had homemade pizza and red wine, but I am still keeping on with it and tomorrow is another day!

Small steps, you're doing great

Thaks altlife

And good luck to everyone this weekend.
Weekends are really hard I think

Weekends are very hard! I’ve had steak with mushrooms and feta, and a salad for dinner so not too bad for my low carb diet. But wine which completely ruins it all! Hopefully not enough to stop me eating right and doing some exercise tomorrow, but we’ll see

Yes they really are hard. I've just read a book about dealing with the emotional and biological reasons for overeating and I feel in control for the first time in about 20 years. We shall see how long it lasts! I've tried everything!

@onesmallstep67

What an amazing way to think about it! I would love the same. We have IVF beginning in autumn which might bigger things up weight wise however if I could say I will be 17lbs lighter by first September to start treatment I would be so happy (even if the drugs were to put some of it back on, even all of it, then at least I wouldn't be even bigger than now.)

Hi all,

I’ve not posted for a few days as I’ve been working 12+ hour days due to a ‘happy’ convergence of deadlines . Managed to hold it together on the food planning front though and rustle up low carb lunches (usually my biggest difficulty when trying to eat better). And also avoided the snacking mindlessly on chocolate through my wee small hours finishes. I weighed myself this morning and I’ve lost 8lb in a week - I know it’s mostly water weight and certainly not really fat, and I won’t get that anything like that result again, but it’s lovely to feel less bloated and some of it must surely be real too! Someone up thread said their face looked less puffy when they eat well and it’s the same for me too.

Keeping it real though, I tried on my favourite work trousers (usually fit me at the top end of my weight range) and they are way too small. I probably need to shed another stone, which will take about 6 weeks, to get there. Sigh.

Mermaid thank you very much for posting the diabetes bollocking from your doctor. It’s very sobering. I have saved a screen shot and will make myself read it when I feel like wavering. Really, I do think this is a crossroads for me now - get a grip and have a longer and healthier life... or don’t, and accept the unhappy consequences. I’ve told myself that many times in the past but this is the first time I’ve really felt it’s real.

I’m carrying on with making an effort with my appearance. I still don’t look remotely how I’d like to but my skin definitely looks better for proper cleansing and moisturising, in spite of not having had much sleep, and it’s making me respect myself and take more care all round.

Still need to figure out exercise though!

Sorry that I can’t remember much of what I’ve read over recent days, I’ll have a look back though again later. But to the poster who is having IVF in the autumn... I didn’t have to have IVF in the end but did get to the brink before conceiving naturally. And I think it was a fairly significant weight loss, as well as a break from my big-stress job,that made it happen for me. It definitely helped, anyway.

Ha ha, it was fossil, right above my post! I was on a different page and couldn’t see recent posts

Really good luck fossil 🤞🏻

@HalfWomanHalfChocolate

Hi all,

I’ve not posted for a few days as I’ve been working 12+ hour days due to a ‘happy’ convergence of deadlines . Managed to hold it together on the food planning front though and rustle up low carb lunches (usually my biggest difficulty when trying to eat better). And also avoided the snacking mindlessly on chocolate through my wee small hours finishes. I weighed myself this morning and I’ve lost 8lb in a week - I know it’s mostly water weight and certainly not really fat, and I won’t get that anything like that result again, but it’s lovely to feel less bloated and some of it must surely be real too! Someone up thread said their face looked less puffy when they eat well and it’s the same for me too.

Keeping it real though, I tried on my favourite work trousers (usually fit me at the top end of my weight range) and they are way too small. I probably need to shed another stone, which will take about 6 weeks, to get there. Sigh.

Mermaid thank you very much for posting the diabetes bollocking from your doctor. It’s very sobering. I have saved a screen shot and will make myself read it when I feel like wavering. Really, I do think this is a crossroads for me now - get a grip and have a longer and healthier life... or don’t, and accept the unhappy consequences. I’ve told myself that many times in the past but this is the first time I’ve really felt it’s real.

I’m carrying on with making an effort with my appearance. I still don’t look remotely how I’d like to but my skin definitely looks better for proper cleansing and moisturising, in spite of not having had much sleep, and it’s making me respect myself and take more care all round.

Still need to figure out exercise though!

Sorry that I can’t remember much of what I’ve read over recent days, I’ll have a look back though again later. But to the poster who is having IVF in the autumn... I didn’t have to have IVF in the end but did get to the brink before conceiving naturally. And I think it was a fairly significant weight loss, as well as a break from my big-stress job,that made it happen for me. It definitely helped, anyway.

Thank you @HalfWomanHalfChocolate

Ah how I would love it to happen like that. It's been three years now so I hardly dare to let in that glimmer of hope.

Which diet did you do to achieve that? I've been reading lots about the science of gut bacteria and it's fascinating

Well, I think I was pretty lucky, not saying it works for everyone but I am sure that even if we’d had IVF I’d have had a better chance with some weight loss. I did SW at the time and it worked fine, though actually all diets do for a while. I didn’t lose it especially quickly, and I probably went from about 15.7 st down to about 12. I was back to almost 13st when I conceived, which is actually still obese at my height, but vastly better than 15+. You don’t have to lose all excess weight for it to make a difference, 10% of your body weight makes a big difference to fertility. Every little helps.

I haven’t gone back to SW this time as I honestly don’t think it helped me understand portions etc, and I relied too much on pasta and stuff, which is probably not ideal for me given that I think I am insulin resistant. But it does suit some people. I am doing Fast 800 this time, but not very rigidly... I did it rigidly last year and it works, but was not sustainable for me. I’m following it about 90% so roughly sticking to:

• Fast 800 rules about what food is good / to be avoided (so no refined carbs, and quite low carb)
• Time restricted eating - so eating in a 9-10hr window each day. Can’t do 8hrs due to very long and inconvenient children’s bedtime routine
• having milk in tea outside these hours if I really want (rebel!)
• mostly just 2 meals a day - I don’t actually miss breakfast. I do miss snacks but that’s habit and comfort eating, I don’t need them. I eat a few nuts if actually hungry
• low cal but not necessarily only 800. I love the Fast 800 food but find portion sizes quite small. So if I want more of the good stuff to feel

Reasonably satisfied then I have it. I’m not actually counting the calories

• I am not adapting everything to my diet, if it means too much faff cooking separately to the family (eg I ate lasagne with pasta in this week with my family, not a separate pasta-free one!). I am also joining in with family meals if I want - so I had a small bit of peach crumble on Sunday when we had my family over for lunch.
• BUT only eating sweet stuff in the context of family meals or gatherings. (We usually only have puddings on sundays anyway). Strictly NO SNACKING ALONE. No more bingeing, no more hiding chocolate wrappers. I have vowed to myself that everything treat-ish that passes my lips will be in front of DH (he does not know the extent of my eating usually but would be horrified!) so he is unknowingly policing what I’m eating
• I’m trying to think about how I’d want my 3-yr old DD to eat. If I wouldn’t want her to see me / copy me, then I shouldn’t eat it!

Right, off to make DC dinner now. Have a good long weekend, everyone

I had a small win this week - I didn't need to suck in my stomach to make my seatbelt fit on a plane, I actually had to tighten it (in AUS flying domestically so no covid risk).

Sounds silly but made me realise I am actually losing weight, I'm getting smaller.

For those thinking about intermittent fasting, I can't recommend more highly. Rather than a diet, it feels like a lifestyle change which seems to be sustainable for me.

I think I may have name changed since my last post .

@halfwomanhalfchocolate
Well done on your weight loss, that is fabulous.
I read your post with interest about SW as that is what I am doing at the moment. I really get it when you say they don't teach you about portion control and just say eat to your appetite, if you are hungry, eat.
I must admit, that I am doing slimming world because that is sustainable for me and my family, but I'm doing it with the knowledge gained from the blood sugar diet! So I don't eat breakfast, I don't snack between meals, and I have one fast day a week oh and drink shed loads of water.
I haven't told my consultant what I'm doing.
I guess slimming world is OK in that it does naturally restrict refined carbs and you undoubtedly lose weight on it, but like you say unrestricted portion control is not great for people where overeating is what got them there in the first place.

I did SW for a bit last year and lost half a stone so it did work to an extent. But I definitely found that I was working too hard to use all my syns - it was definitely a target rather than a limit for me!! After a while i stopped losing weight and I think that is why. Plus carbs aren't my friend and I felt a bit bloated on it. Second Nature is definitely better for me as it seems to dampen my cravings, and exercise is good too as I don't want to undo all my hard work if I've been for a run

Harpy I put it all back on again, and more! Over a second pregnancy, death of my dad and DGM and then there was lockdown, and my second child showing clear signs of ASD too... all in all I’ve totally lost the plot over a very emotionally testing few years. The binging has definitely got out of control and I was at my heaviest ever last week.

I am finding IF / low carb is working much better for me than SW - both quite good for weight loss if you do them properly but with SW I was hungrier and ate more, with IF I feel less hungry and eat less overall, but more good fats, less carb. Much better for my insulin resistance. I think SW was marginally easier to eat with the family but they did get a bit sick of tomato-based dishes! IF / low carb is okay though, I often eat with the family but mostly just skip the carbs and have more veg. And I think about food less when I’m not juggling syns /snacks. I just don’t snack, so don’t think about it! The thing I most miss is tea with milk in the morning and occasionally evening. If I’m really wanting it though I have it.

Been for a lovely walk in the bluebell woods today, and now I’m making minced beef and onion pie and mash for the family (I’ll have some pie filling with veg). Not my ideal choice but I am trying to nudge ASD DS in the direction of some new foods. He likes pastry, tolerates mash... still, chances of it being eaten with enthusiasm are very small .

I do really love cooking, and especially baking - anyone else? I still make cakes etc as the family eat them and I find I do get pleasure out of that even if not eating them myself. But I have had to cut back and I am missing the baking, not just the eating, a lot!

@HalfWomanHalfChocolate

Hi all,

I’ve not posted for a few days as I’ve been working 12+ hour days due to a ‘happy’ convergence of deadlines . Managed to hold it together on the food planning front though and rustle up low carb lunches (usually my biggest difficulty when trying to eat better). And also avoided the snacking mindlessly on chocolate through my wee small hours finishes. I weighed myself this morning and I’ve lost 8lb in a week - I know it’s mostly water weight and certainly not really fat, and I won’t get that anything like that result again, but it’s lovely to feel less bloated and some of it must surely be real too! Someone up thread said their face looked less puffy when they eat well and it’s the same for me too.

Keeping it real though, I tried on my favourite work trousers (usually fit me at the top end of my weight range) and they are way too small. I probably need to shed another stone, which will take about 6 weeks, to get there. Sigh.

Mermaid thank you very much for posting the diabetes bollocking from your doctor. It’s very sobering. I have saved a screen shot and will make myself read it when I feel like wavering. Really, I do think this is a crossroads for me now - get a grip and have a longer and healthier life... or don’t, and accept the unhappy consequences. I’ve told myself that many times in the past but this is the first time I’ve really felt it’s real.

I’m carrying on with making an effort with my appearance. I still don’t look remotely how I’d like to but my skin definitely looks better for proper cleansing and moisturising, in spite of not having had much sleep, and it’s making me respect myself and take more care all round.

Still need to figure out exercise though!

Sorry that I can’t remember much of what I’ve read over recent days, I’ll have a look back though again later. But to the poster who is having IVF in the autumn... I didn’t have to have IVF in the end but did get to the brink before conceiving naturally. And I think it was a fairly significant weight loss, as well as a break from my big-stress job,that made it happen for me. It definitely helped, anyway.

So glad you found the diabetes info helpful.

Hi all. First week weigh in result tomorrow morning- and for the first time ever I have managed to stick to my calorie amount on Sat and Sun. Started last Mon at 13.7.

I can feel my stomach is less sticky-outy but I know the first week is water. Second week the shit gets real!

Great thread. Love the positivity

Been low carb and drinking 3 litres of water since Wednesday. Started at 13'4.8 and today 13'1. Hoping to be in the 12 stone bracket by Wednesday and just want to be 12 stone or under by my birthday in 8 weeks. Is that to much to hope for?

It's what I'm hoping for too.

Friday is my weigh day and this weekend has not been really good as we were out Saturday night and there was lots of fizz and BBQ.

I'm kick starting it again today and have taken some cod out the freezer and found a good low cal recipe for tonight.

I weighed in today at 186 pounds. So minus 4 pounds this week. It is good but I was 184 when I sneak peaked on sat so not sure what happened there!