Defeated by fatness no more

[BreathingDeep]

Happy Monday!

Following my thread last week about how I, and so many of us, are feeling like we're defeated by our weight, here's a support thread for those of us who don't want stop ourselves from living the lives we want any more.

There were some amazing stories shared and so much honesty about how this is a struggle for so many of us. Here's the thread for anyone wanting to read:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4225173-Defeated-by-my-fatness-am-I-alone

I know that I am sick of feeling ashamed of myself. Sick of hiding away. Sick of feeling that I'm judged for my weight. Sick of feeling that I'm letting myself and my family down. Sick of feeling that my inside doesn't match the outside. Sick of living in the same few outfits because everything else is too tight or looks terrible. Sick of seeking solace in food that doesn't nourish me. Sick of treating myself badly.

If you feel the same, come and join us! Everyone will have their own journey, their own approach and that's fine - please, no criticism or judgement of anyone's plan. The main aim is that we all take steps, every single day, to make ourselves feel better about ourselves.

For me, that means today will include drinking water, taking a long lunch and having a dog walk with a friend (this NEVER happens because work always comes first) and sticking with my Cambridge plan.

How about you?

Lead you are doing soooo well. So close to your goal.

I have the next stone marker in sight which is something to work towards.

I think walking can be just as good as running Rousette, especially in this heat. Glad you're looking on course for a good loss this week - maybe we are all sweating it off!

I'm trying to balance out barbecue / rosé / dinner party days by making up for them with an extra day of extended fasting / 800 calories. Seems to be working so far, as for the last month we've had a day or two every week of food-based socialising.

I'm trying not to look at it as "getting back on it" (remember, there's no wagon!), but just a natural pattern of eating. Feast and famine. It probably is how the hunter gatherers did it! Psychologically I think it's healthier than thinking of feast days as some kind of failure.

Anyway, tomorrow we're going to the beach with friends then having dinner afterwards, so wine will flow and there will be puddings. I'm very much looking forward to it, and will make it up one day next week.

So agree with all of that and really don't want to beat myself up when I fail on a day. And also don't want to worry myself about this. We've got five days away in July and I know it will be drinks everyday most likely and restaurants and I'm feeling a sense of panic about putting weight on.

But I musn't!

Exactly, there's no need to panic. Five days won't make a bit of difference long term. Just make up for it afterwards, or even before.

I actually have an idea I partly tried out last Christmas and will do again this year. Dieting in January is very depressing, and it's the time of year when you want to be eating well and drinking red wine. Not to excess, just to get through the dark, cold days.

In a way, Christmas is too early in the winter, and it's all over before the worst weather comes. I also hate the way it's crept into autumn and everyone starts drinking and eating Christmas food from the beginning of December.

I thought - why not do like the Catholics did in the old days and fast during Advent? I'm not religious, but I like the idea of a period of fasting and reflection before a major feast. Also, you can get a kilo or two in the bank, ready to put it back on again over Christmas / winter.

We did it in a half-hearted way last year. Not so much fasting, but we had a dry most-of-December and dieted until Christmas Eve. Then we felt ready to have a proper long Christmas break without worrying about how much we were eating, and had no need to bother with dry January.

Spring and Summer is a much better time to be dieting.

Morning all. Is very inspiring reading all your losses its keep me going this last week! I got weighed last night and am 5lbs down. I am pleased with that but just need to keep the motivation going now. I have a wedding in August that i would like to be a couple of stone down for. It is doable, just, but I am having to keep that at the forefront of my mind to keep me going. I'm hoping by then that my wedding ring will fit me again. I had a manual job for a while last year And had to take it off, I now can't get it back on but am hoping that losing the weight will help.

@Harpydragon 5lbs is brilliant! I am 1lb up today, but I'm ok with that as I went a bit off the rails for a week and only just getting back to it.

Today might be a write off too. Got my second covid jab year and today I feel like I've been hit by a bus. The only thing keeping the nausea in check is eating- not ideal!!!

@sylv165 thank you. To be fair id had a month off so last week was like my 1st week again. But at least its off.
Hope you feel better after your jab. Have you tried drinking flat coke/Pepsi? The diet varieties work just as well in warding off nausea.

Morning everyone. Friday check in and I have broken the next stone down barrier yay ! 2lbs off since last Friday , now -12lbs since 4th May so feeling positive and hungry motivated this morning. Target for next Friday would ideally be to have hit the 1 stone lost but DEFINITELY don't want to be back up above the stone marker.
5lbs loss is fantastic Harpy, well done.
Roussette I think it's natural to get a bit twitchy about gaining a few pounds during special times or holidays but don't let it overshadow your enjoyment. We've all proven that we can lose weight with some effort and being mindful with our eating. Maybe focus on that during the times when there's nothing specific happening, get a kg or two loss under your belt when it's easier - is it ever ?? - and then you can relax more with food and drink choices while you are away.
Have a lovely weekend everyone. Be good, and if you can't be good at least enjoy it

Good idea @Harpydragon, some coke zero would actually go down very well right now!

Yey @Onesmallstep67! It is such a mental boost to get into the next stone bracket. Fingers crossed for 1 stone next week

@Onesmallstep67 I think you've hit the nail on the head with being mindful about what you eat. I think the other thing is not to feel guilty about overindulgence one day or even week, just get back on it when you can.
I find that I'm starting to rethink how I view food, I am honestly considering some form of counselling to talk it through. I read The obesity code by Jason Fung and it made such a lot of sense to me. I practice intermittent fasting and always try and incorporate at least one fasting day a week. I'm finding it really helpful at resetting my appetite. Unfortunately I do think genetics plays a huge part in how you hold your weight, sadly for me all my family are large and I know it will be hard, but I so want to do it this time.

@Onesmallstep67 meant to say well done 😊

Thank you onesmallstep I know you are totally right.

But I'll be honest.... I am really bored of watching every single thing I eat. I think it's something to do with trying to feed DH up a bit after the awful bug (he lost 12lbs ) and me not being able to partake in quite the same way!

Well done on your -2lbs, that's great!

We are barbecuing tonight and I am having a homemade burger in a bun but only with salad... normally it would be double carbs in some way.

I've just got to keep at it, and if I can get below the next stone (another 7 or 8lbs) I am going to start trying on some of the clothes I am desperate to wear but know that if they are too tight, it'll set me back!

It's all what we feel in the mind isn't it...

Have a lovely sunny weekend everyone!

I’m really bored of watching what I eat too, Rousette. I’m really hoping that most of it eventually becomes habit or second nature, because it’s mentally such a bloody chore.

Bloody chore is exactly the right words!

I do think cutting down drastically on carbs might become second nature but....
At the moment I miss bread, pastry, potatoes and pasta. Not gonna pretend otherwise

Same - mostly pastry and bread. I used to love pasta but oddly, I don’t really miss it. We’ve been eating Italian type sauces with vegetables instead and we find that the flavours are what satisfies.

Absolutely nothing replaces pizza though. I could weep.

I’m going to experiment with spelt pastry when I’m in maintenance phase. I don’t bake much at all, but I do love pastry.

I did make some spelt and carob Anzac biscuits a couple of weeks ago and they were bloody delicious. We ate them all in a day though so I really can’t make a habit of things like that. This is why I don’t bake.

Ditto! My self control is lacking at times

We did have homemade pizza last night 'to build DHs weight back up'. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
Ironic that I've perfected my pizza dough now I'm trying to lose weight!

I hate having to watch what you eat all the time, all it does is bring food right to the front of your head! I did the low Carb thing about 4 years ago, but could keep it up. What I did discover though was that rice and potatoes don't have any affect on my weight loss but pasta and bread does. I love both, so have got to be very careful with those two, but I now do have more rice and potato.
My 17 year old son is desperately unhappy with his weight since all the locckdowns and so has asked to do slumming with me. If I didn't have any incentive before, I do now. It should be easy for him to get off the excess pounds at his age. I'm pleased he's talked to me about it, but sad its got to the stage where he had to.

It's Monday again and I have come through the weekend without a gain ! In fact briefly yesterday I had dropped down a smidgen but weight resolutely sticking this morning. I am feeling positive in general though and feeling a bit slimmer - less bloated ? so hoping for another lb or two to go this week. About 5 and a half weeks until the family summer party, subject to all things Covid related in the meantime.
Harpy having your son as a healthy eating buddy will be great. I have done this at times with my younger DD (16). I am always very mindful though of how I handle this because as someone who has been overweight my whole life I find the 'fat is bad' message has had a huge impact on my self esteem and I hate she feels that too. So I always promote body positivity and health benefits. I dislike phrases such as 'lumbering around' and referring to oneself as gross etc. There's still a lot of negativity out there sadly. And we can handle these things for ourselves but it's natural to want to protect our DC from it.
Have a great week and enjoy the sun losers

Onesmall Well done, sticking at it, and me too would love love love to drop another 2lbs when I weight on Friday.

No idea if that will be the case. We've barbecued all weekend and I've tried my best to make it as healthy as possible, not sure I achieved that though.

Harpy good luck with your son onboard with this!

I haven't been running but I am walking more and I do feel the benefits. Yesterday was 5km and it was glorious out there. Today 4km. Not much compared to some I know, but it is an hour doing it!

Oh and Harpy interesting what you say on potatoes versus bread type thing.
I love love love bread but I think it piles on the weight with me. Pasta too. And I agree that maybe potatoes and rice not so bad. I do have small portions of those or try and avoid altogether if I'm feeling strong!

I find potatoes and brown or wild rice aren't as bad as refined carbs either, though chips probably don't count...

Rousette I had one of your lovely dreams last night - that the remaining weight just fell off and I looked fabulously lean. Imagine my disappointment on waking, especially since I'm up a bit after a slightly more indulgent weekend.

Those dreams are fantastic! whilst they last

I've just agreed to go and climb a mountain in a couple of weeks. Not sure if it is sensible as I am still very unfit but thought it might be a good way of staying on track (and also a weekend where I won't drink/eat rubbish). Now just got to find a few big hills I can climb up by way of training!

Great thread!

sylv that's great news! Well done and yes a good way to stay on track. With other spurring you on hopefully!