Mutual support thread for those currently losing or working towards losing a lot of weight

[UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme]

This is a mutual support thread for anyone who wants (and needs) to lose a lot of weight, is mid way through losing a lot of weight, or is nearing the end of a big weight loss and wants to continue to support and be supported as maintenance approaches.

The previous thread has been massively helpful to regular posters, as we share both our losses and our plateau or gains, congratulate or console, and talk about what works for us while understanding that different things work for different people, and we are all different ages, all have different families/ households/ people to plan around, different commitments, different working lives and different health conditions which partly determine our approaches.

We are all on this journey together - this thread is for us to encourage one another, post updates, chat about what we're doing, how we're doing, share stories and thoughts and sometimes wander slightly off topic if we want, but everyone posting should be somewhere along the journey towards escaping high BMI obesity.

The previous thread was started by someone who no longer posts and initially asked how to lose 9 stone - it developed into a support thread for people with varying amounts left to lose but all of whom started out with at least 5 or 6 stone + / 30 or 35 kg + to lose, very roughly...

No links to selling sites or unsolicited "helpful" lectures please - mutual support from existing and new posters all actually living this big weight loss now, or just starting out, welcome!

Previous thread here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight_loss_chat/3894410-i-need-to-lose-9st-help

*minimal snacking I meant to say.

I loathe tracking (anything, steps, calories, points - even worse "syns", shudder) so I just don't do it, it would give me the rage.

I fast 7pm to 1pm, sometimes longer, occasionally shorter and/ or move the times around. When not fasting nothing is "good" or "bad" or not allowed but like all of us I know full well the consequences of eating a pizza or biscuits or whatever and make conscious decisions about what to eat, and generally don't snack except on a small amount of unsalted nuts or fresh fruit.

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme sorry to hear you're grumpy/impatient! I think that's my go-to mood these days.

Thanks for writing all that out it really helped to read that. I think this is why now more than ever I need to get a handle on what I'm eating/how I'm eating and make it stick long term. I'm about to start (either year 1 or year 2, undecided yet) of a really intense Uni course (Biomed science) and I'm slap bang in the middle of completing the HNC I need to get into it and I'm so unbelievably stressed. I'm quite lucky though in that I don't tend to emotionally eat - I'm much like @Zebracat in that I just really enjoy food and obviously have enjoyed it too much over the years so need to eat more to feel full etc. So I'm hoping by just being disciplined and eating less of the right stuff it'll get easier.

I'm the same as you though, @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme I hate tracking so I'm hoping just a few months of tracking will give me a fair idea of what I can eat in a day without going bananas and take it from there!

@StormcloakNord have you tried twix top biscuits? Like a flatter twix & vg-106 calories I think. My fave biscuit until I found caramel blue ribband!

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme I agree with you that you need to be in the right place for weight loss. I think getting more sleep really helps me. Evening snacking is one of my main triggers so earlier nights help with that too. I say I don't really feel any different but I'm actually a lot less tired generally. Think it's a combo of walking, good(ish) diet, less alcohol & more sleep. My Fitbit shows a sleep score & analysis & it's interesting. Improving in another department pleases the achiever in me! 😂

I'd love to do the IF but hate not being allowed to eat at certain times & find calorie counting easier - I'm opposite of you, like being in control of the stats & wanting to loose more quickly before settling to a slower pace. Hopefully will learn to come round to IF though-if I could cope with it, life would be easier!

Thank you all for the welcome
@Rainbowsleepysloth you seem to know me too well! I can be totally unrealistic with myself and set impossible standards. I throw myself into most things full on in life and then disappoint myself! I need to get out of the restricting / quick loss mindset as I know it doesn't work
I have the SW scars - I've got a bit of a cold and I remember being told not to use lemsip but take paracetamol because you have to syn lemsip

@alphaechokiwi fortunately dh and I have different comfort foods - I love cheese, toast, crisps while he likes chocolate.

I'm 49 too, and it's only been since I turned 40 that weight has been an issue. It also coincides with restarting full time work and a new career path. As I said I kind of think I should be able to do it all! I've also been in serious denial (stand at back of photos / carefully select clothes that still fit!)

Reading all your posts and the honesty and humour contained has been a tonic. Thank you all

Didn't do my weigh in this week, I don't want the kids to see me weighing myself and as they are off school for the holidays it's too tricky, so just skipping it these two weeks.

This week has been more of a struggle, work is stressful and I'm struggling to resist the urge to comfort eat. Especially as DH is a snacker. I have to keep reminding myself that I don't need to eat unless I'm actually hungry. I'm not denying myself treats if I actually want them, but I'm aware sometimes I just eat for something to do.

@Zebracat sounds delicious! I will have to try that some time soon. Also I loved this:
This isnt a matter for me of holding my breath until I get to a healthy weight and then falling straight back to my old ways. I love food, I don’t want it to be the enemy.

That is exactly how I feel, and you've expressed it so well. Also agree with @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme food isn't a moral issue! If I eat a bit of chocolate, or even a large fry up every morning, it wouldn't make me a bad person. Also sorry you're not feeling great. I hope you feel better today.

@StormcloakNord that sounds very intense. Brilliant that you're doing it though. I went back to uni when I was 30 and it was fab. Good luck with everything!

@tibni How horrible, having to count lemsip! I don't think I'd cope. I really hope that I can lose without having to track every little thing. I'm encouraged that @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme has lost so much out and also hates tracking!

@MedusasBadHairDay sorry you've had a difficult week. It is hard when you are bored or fed up.

I weighed myself this morning. 88.8kg, which is a loss of 1.2kg from 7 days ago, but only 0.4kg from 6 days ago! It's very confusing! But it is a loss, regardless. In total I've lost 1.6kg in 3 weeks, which is fine, and more importantly feels sustainable. I feel happy with what I'm eating at the moment, so I think that's the most important thing.

Also, another success, I have vastly reduced the amount of salt I'm adding to my food! Most meals I don't use salt at all, but for example yesterday when we had a sausage and mash, I out a little bit of salt on the potato, but not too much, and not on anything else. Yay!

@buckeejit I have! They didn't quite hit the spot though, plus the 24g single fingers are only 114 cals! I'd quite like to try the Mars ones, love a Mars bar 

@ScottishBeth 1.6kg in 3 weeks is bloomin good going! Like you say it's sustainable & its 1.6kg you'll never see again which is the most important thing!

@StormcloakNord yes, you are right! Thank you

Had a small win today. DH ordered these lovely big cookie things a local seller makes - I had one with a cup of tea earlier. It was big, sweet, sticky and lovely! Usually I'd have said ah well write today off and get a takeaway/start fresh tomorrow but I'm having dinner as usual, which I know seems small but it's quite a big win for me!

Well done @StormcloakNord. Those rational decisions and small changes are the way to go.
@ScottishBeth, that is a lovely start.
@MedusasBadHairDay. Holidays must be stressful for childminders. Think it’s great that you are not letting the children get caught up in weighingetc.
I’ve been cooking, which is not my favourite thing, but I managed to make tonight’s dinner and prep everything for tomorrow’s dinner too., even tho I would rather have been in the garden. Part of my effort to avoid shit food.

Loving these small wins and sensible decisions
I've been invited to a twilight spa when the world is sane (probably July) which is something lovely to focus on.
My nasty cold is going nowhere which is impacting on my hunger / thirst signals and general appetite. Keeping drinking the water and I'm sure it will soon pass. Trying to plan ahead with meals so I don't make lazy choices. We have a fruit and veg box delivery every Friday so made sure I have healthy options coming. Using nhs app makes me realise how little fruit and veg I eat some days - which isn't good for a vegetarian!

I stopped getting notifications for some reason and assumed the thread had gone quiet, how wrong was I! Welcome everyone new, great to see such amazing support on here! It looks like you've all had some great little wins this week!

79.4 kg this morning, which isn't enough of a change to mean anything (80kg a week ago the day after after eating a takeaway pizza but 79.1 kg the day before I ate the pizza so in the scheme of things 79.4 kg is no change/ staying the same really). As Zebracat says though this is a long term / lifetime thing, not a case of holding our breath til we hit a certain number on the scales then letting it out! So its all good...

Its so positive to see the really healthy attitudes from everyone - having the luxury giant cookie because you really enjoy it, but not then catastrophiding completely illogically about the whole day being a disaster, and carrying on eating healthy food instead. The yo-yo "diet mentality" of all or nothing, good/ bad, "on track" or "off track"/ "falling off the wagon" "giving up" etc. is so deeply illogical its fairly astounding that we've probably all fallen into it at some point, irs so good to see the really well balanced posts on this thread instead!

79.4kg heart eyes

I think that's about my goal weight eventually! Still 'overweight' in BMI terms but at 5'9 the last time I was that weight I looked so slim & wouldn't have wanted to be any smaller!

We've got some cupcakes from a local bakery coming tomorrow! (husband is on a crazy shop local spree). I'm really looking forward to having it and feel really bloody confident in myself that I'm not going to go balls to the wall and go crazy with it.

Posting here has really helped so I'll update again on Sunday morning with my weight!

Maintaining is good @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme. As you say if this is going to be permanent it needs to be sustainable.

I agree, I feel very supported here thinking, I'll have this chocolate, or whatever, and in the week it'll balance out/I'll have a lightish meal/it doesn't matter if I don't lose quite as much.

@Newrunner94 nice to see you back! How are you?

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme that's definitely what I'm learning this time around, in the past I've been so black and white about food and given up because I can be so strict. Totally new idea for me incorporating 'treat foods' as a healthy diet.
@ScottishBeth good thankyou! I've managed to find some new home workouts to replace running and starting to enjoy that again! I've got a few weeks left before I'm back to work again and back to real life so trying to get my mindset right so I don't fall back into old habits.

I’m needing to take my own advice here. I do love a hot cross bun, and we have over catered on the bun front. I had 2 yesterday, and 1 for breakfast today. We had a big lunch so it could also be a bun for tea. I know this is ok, but somehow I feel guilty. It probably means I will see a slight increase on the scales on Sunday, but it doesn’t mean I’ll go crazy, so why does it feel like the start of a slippery slope?
I think it may be because our lovely family meal at lunchtime got a bit derailed by an adult child rant, and so I am a bit upset, and trying not to show it.. bleurgh , sucks to be a Mum sometimes.

@Zebracat it's so much easier said than done but absolutely don't feel guilty! Hot cross buns aren't that high on calories and even so, if you're expecting a small gain and know you won't go overboard that's a win in itself. Most of us have probably had times where we've seen a small gain and had a ludicrously bad week but if you know you'll avoid that then you've already won really!

Sorry about the adult child rant situ! I can't empathise as luckily mine is 7 so just minor moods and tantrums at the mo! Like you say, it's probably the argument skewing the way you're thinking but just remember you're doing better than you did last week and you're a week closer to your goals

@StormcloakNord
Thank you.

@Zebracat a few hit cross buns at Easter are part of life... You are totally aware that you might have a slight gain, but we are all in this for the long haul....try not to worry too much about it. Often the start of a slippery slope is a few hot cross buns followed by all the Easter eggs, then a load of other food, with an 'Ive blown it now, might as well continue attitude'.. But actually, this time, you are totally aware that you can do things differently. Just keep doing what you're doing, you'll be fine.
I'm 87.6kg today, almost a STS... I'm ok with that... Happy Easter everyone x

Hi all, I wanted to join in. I never thought I'd be in this boat but here we are! I have gained 5 stone over the last 2 years due to mental health issues and lockdown, but I determined now that I am going to lose it.

I'm on week 4, and so far have lost 10lbs. I started at 17 stone and am currently 16 St 4lbs (I'm 5' 10")

I would like to get down to 12 stone, maybe less but I know I feel good at that weight.

I've been following a calorie deficit diet so eating around 1800/1900 calories a day, making healthier choices and trying to get in as many steps a day as I can.

Reading all these posts has really inspired me

Welcome @AGoatsbawhairaway. You are doing so well with 10 pounds lost.
@alphaechokiwi. I know numbers aren’t my strong suit, but is that weight a kilo less than last week? Not at all an STs. I’m weighing tomorrow. I don’t feel well today. Just curled up in my bedroom, hiding from the world. Managed to emerge for a bacon sandwich at lunchtime tho!

@Zebracat, unless I logged it wrong, i think it's a 0.2kg loss from last week, but hey hum, I'll take that!
I'm sorry you aren't feeling well... Wishing you a speedy recovery ..
Welcome @AGoatsbawhairaway - that's brilliant going in 10 weeks.

@alphaechokiwi. You said you were 88.7 on 28th March! I’m worried that I’m over invested in your weight loss now!

He he!!!! I might have logged it incorrectly on MFP so!!!! In that case woo hoo!!!! Thanks @Zebracat!