Mutual support thread for those currently losing or working towards losing a lot of weight

[UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme]

This is a mutual support thread for anyone who wants (and needs) to lose a lot of weight, is mid way through losing a lot of weight, or is nearing the end of a big weight loss and wants to continue to support and be supported as maintenance approaches.

The previous thread has been massively helpful to regular posters, as we share both our losses and our plateau or gains, congratulate or console, and talk about what works for us while understanding that different things work for different people, and we are all different ages, all have different families/ households/ people to plan around, different commitments, different working lives and different health conditions which partly determine our approaches.

We are all on this journey together - this thread is for us to encourage one another, post updates, chat about what we're doing, how we're doing, share stories and thoughts and sometimes wander slightly off topic if we want, but everyone posting should be somewhere along the journey towards escaping high BMI obesity.

The previous thread was started by someone who no longer posts and initially asked how to lose 9 stone - it developed into a support thread for people with varying amounts left to lose but all of whom started out with at least 5 or 6 stone + / 30 or 35 kg + to lose, very roughly...

No links to selling sites or unsolicited "helpful" lectures please - mutual support from existing and new posters all actually living this big weight loss now, or just starting out, welcome!

Previous thread here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight_loss_chat/3894410-i-need-to-lose-9st-help

Brilliant start @Rainbowsleepysloth! I bet you feel pretty good today

Hi all I hope you don't mind a late joiner

I'm 5"4 and weigh 192lb which gives me a BMI of around 32 so I am classed as obese. I have 50lb to loose before I am in the healthy weight category but I will need to loose at least 70lb for my weight to look normal/in proportion to my frame.

Diet wise I am going to be cutting down on food intake and slowly working myself into the OMAD diet and then switching my foods to keto. (carb face and sugar addiction is most definitely real)

I have downloaded the 7 app, after seeing some videos and reviews. It looks quite sustainable for a busy life, let's face it everyone can spare 7 minutes! My fitness level is almost zero atm so I need to kick myself up the arse and get my fat jiggling

@ScottishBeth sorry to hear you've had a setback. I love little more than the holy trinity of clean body, clean pjs & clean bed!

@Zebracat how exciting to have a wedding to look forward to! I think it's normal for anyone to want to lose weight for such an event, even those who I'd say don't need to.

Occasional McDs is totally fine. I'm tempted to get a block of Stilton for dh birthday tomorrow. Would prefer that to takeaway.

@Rainbowsleepysloth welcome, I can relate to what you said in your first post & well done in the loss!

Clothes in my wardrobe in sizes from 14-22 & I'm desperate to reclaim a lot of that space. One thing I'm struggling with though as a sort of yo-yo-er over the years, do I just get rid of anything that's too big now? I know I've said 'I'll never be that big again', several times now so my faith in me is somewhat shaky. I'm finding it a little overwhelming to fit into things that I haven't for ages also & soon will hopefully be too big. I don't know why it generates these strange emotions. What is everyone else's strategies for clothes that don't fit?

@Ammorey hello! Is that the 7 minute workout thing? Dh did it for ages & was great. I couldn't watch him do it though, was torturous!

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme your mileage on walks is so impressive. I clocked up 19k steps on Saturday & was ready to collapse!

Weigh in today & 3lb down so my BMI is just snuck under 35, woohoo!

And I've begun again to pat myself on the back when I make a good choice. It feels great!

@ScottishBeth I am happy the number is going down but I’m actually feeling pretty lousy. I’m hoping it’s just my poor body adjusting- I haven’t been treating it well for a long time :( Onwards & Upwards though 😁

Hi @Ammorey I’m a late joiner too, looking forward to hearing about your journey :)

Hi @buckeejit congratulations on getting back down through the dress sizes, it must be an amazing feeling. I understand your hesitation as I’ve had successes and relapses in the past too. I’ve adopted a new rule were I box things up that I am not currently needing/ using - if I don’t look out that box in a year, off it goes. Keeping clothes that are too big in your wardrobe may also impact your belief in yourself. Focus on the lovely things that you can wear 😁

Welcome @Ammorey, glad you are joining us. Yes, I'm interested in what this 7 app is!

Thanks @buckeejit. I have been very tired the last couple of days, but overall well. It's good you're going down the clothes sizes. That's actually never something I've experienced as I've always just lost about half a stone then lost my way. I can imagine it feels weird though. Do you have any bigger clothes that you really love? Maybe you could get a couple of things taken in.

@Rainbowsleepysloth sorry you are not feeling great. Hopefully as you say it will pass soon. Do you feel like you're eating nutritious food?

I've had a very minor success today. I really really wanted some food after lunch. I decided that I would wait until 3:30 and then have a snack, but as it was getting closer I was craving more and more. So I went and sat in the garden and lay on the grass (well on a beanbag we have) and listened to a playlist of my favourite songs. I really enjoyed lying there in the sun, and even though I still wanted some food, I wasn't thinking about it obsessively.

@ScottishBeth I would say I am eating nutritious food 🤔 everything has been home cooked. It is a drastic change from before though I would graze on high sugar and junk. So I believe the decrease in sugar is likely causing the headaches ( these have started to ease though). I also have a temperamental digestive tract 🙄 which I think is a little shocked by the sharp increase in fruit & veg. I’m hoping by next week I’ll be a bit more settled 😂

Welcome @Ammoreyvand well done on the app. You’ll have to let us know how challenging it is. I lack coordination (as well as being unfit) and do better with yoga/Pilates.

@Rainbowsleepysloth I’m gluten free which helps with my inflammation but think I’d really struggle with dairy free as well. Do you take any pre/probiotics? Gut health and inflammation is something I think I need to find out more about.

Well done @ScottishBeth had resisting the cravings. Being outside with music sounds a great idea

Hi All... hoping I can slot myself in here somewhere.

I always try to join threads like these but I always end up doing well/posting then falling off the wagon, gaining weight and I just disappear... really don't want to do that again as I really like the support these threads give!

For those of you who have lost an incredible amount of weight, how did you keep going?! I've gained 3 stone this year taking me to 115kg I'm 5'9 so I'm getting pretty damn close to being morbidly obese...

I just don't know how to keep going. I know what to do to lose weight but I only seem to manage for one/two weeks tops?!

Please may I join. I'm 5 8 and stood on scales yesterday to be greeted with 100kg - over a stone gained in lockdown. I've been in denial, knowing I'm overweight but not accepting how much.
I downloaded nhs app yesterday which motivated me to start.
I really struggle with balance (in everything) - work long hours, study 2 hours a night Monday- Thursdays and have a disabled ds. I reward myself with food (and wine at the weekend) when I diet I go full out, then fail. Have previously lost 4 stone on slimming world but kept losing and couldn't maintain and refused to get charged for weight loss so dropped out!
Supportive slim dh, no clothes that fit and avoiding mirrors - I need to do this

@Stuckanddesperate I’m just taking wellwoman original at the moment. The swelling had reduced a lot last week but I had an almond latte (sachet thingy) on Sunday and have not felt right since. Swelling has returned to my left leg, foot, hand and face - very frustrating but trial and error I guess. I have been recommended tumeric and acidophilus, definitely something I need to look into more!

Hi @StormcloakNord I’m a newbie here too. What methods do you use to drop weight? Perhaps finding a plan that isn’t restrictive and fits comfortably into your day to day wouldn’t feel like such a chore? I found slimming world pretty painless and adaptable. For me, weight and mental health are strongly linked. When I’m good I can manage my weight, when I’m not I can’t. So maybe look at your own relationship with weight and triggers to build a strategy for long term.

Hi @tibni you sound like you have a very hectic schedule. I can understand why you dropped out of slimming world, that would be a frustrating situation. Maybe you hadn’t reached that magical ‘natural weight’ where all is right with the world- I always heard about at SW meetings 😂 Do you restrict heavily? And expect results fast? I’ve always been guilty of this in the past and I’m trying really hard to opt for slow and steady this time round.

Hi @tibni !

Hi @Rainbowsleepysloth thanks for replying! I just calorie count using nutracheck and I'm on a really reasonable 1800 cals. Def doesn't feel restrictive - I think I struggle with an all or nothing approach though. If I have, say, a cupcake and it takes me over my 1800 I seem to just go bananas and binge eat. Sunday was yet another day 1 so I guess I'll see how I get on. Been prescribed Prozac for depression so hoping in the next few weeks that will help too as I think you're right - weight and mental health go hand in hand! X

Welcome to the thread everyone
@Ammorey - we are roughly the same height and weight - although I've had to lose 25kg+ to get here. I also do OMAD fasting. I did try to combine it with Keto but it was too restrictive for me. And actually OMAD on its own is working nicely for me. I do have to watch my calorie intake though.... otherwise I'd eat huge dinners with multiple portions. Good luck with your workouts!

@tibni you have a lot going on, it's not surprising or unusual that you seek some comfort in food. It's good that you have a supportive DH. How would he feel if you didn't have any of that 'reward' food in the house? Do you get any time alone to yourself where you are not working? You could perhaps schedule some time for a walk, yoga or whatever exercise you enjoy?

@StormcloakNord - I totally get you! I'm 49 and have been enthusiastically joining things and starting weigh loss plans since I was a teenager. And then, when it's all going really well, I have a set back and completely go off the rails. I have no guarantee that it's not going to happen this time, I'm just trying to take it day by day, set mini goals and track my success on a spreadsheet to remind me where I started and what I've achieved. I'm trying to harness the wisdom and experience from all my failures and put it to good use! The only thing I've promised myself is that I will weigh myself weekly - forever. I have been undone by a reluctance to being accountable for my lapses in the past and just throwing in the towel. I know that to be successful I have to deal with failure head on. I also have adapted a delay not deny mindset and I have one relaxed day every week where no food is off limits and I don't calorie count or fast. Anything I find myself craving, I promise myself I'll have it on Sunday. It seems to be working. But its a long term thing...some version of this lifestyle has to work forever. I've quoted this before, but it really does resonate with me : losing weight requires discipline and not motivation. It's helpful to bear in mind if like me you have a history of spectacular falls from the wagon.

@Rainbowsleepysloth as you say then, hopefully it's your body just adjusting to the different food. People do say about headaches when cutting out sugar, so it makes sense. I hope the swelling eases soon, just be frustrating.

@StormcloakNord welcome. I can't give advice unfortunately as I don't think I've ever lost more than about half a stone. But I really agree that mental health is linked as well. I really hope the medication starts to help as well.

@tibni Hi. Sounds like you have a really hectic schedule. I hope you find it helpful being here!

@alphaechokiwi How was your swim yesterday?

Hi @ScottishBeth my swim was simply glorious. And my knee feels very much better today as a result I think. How are you doing?

@alphaechokiwi amazing! I'm so pleased about your knee and your swim, and a bit envious - haha! A bit cold for me to go swimming though.
I am feeling good. So excited about the nice weather today and tomorrow. I shaved my legs last night so I could wear nice clothes today in the garden.

@StormcloakNord - straight to crisis mode, I really relate to that. The reality is a cupcake over the course of a week is a minor blip. I found CBT activities help me with catastrophic thinking. I made a bad choice- that’s ok rather than OMG I’m such a failure, I deserve to be fat and miserable. We can be so unkind to ourselves 😔
Seeking help is a great first step though and hopefully the medication prescribed will help you find your way back from the darkness.
Maybe you could use this thread to ‘admit’ to your slip ups ( we will all have them ). You really don’t need to punish yourself and you definitely won’t have ruined all your good days with one cupcake.

Interesting conversation. I’m trying to move right away from good and bad and slip ups, towards owning the choices I make. Today the teenager was going for a picnic with friends and made strawberry and whipped cream sandwiches, and some of the filling was left. I decided that if I didn’t have it with a bagel for lunch, I would think about it all day and have it later as an extra. So I had it and it may be the nicest lunch I ever had. But I’m going to see a slim friend now who always makes a cake, and I will say no to that. I hope.

Welcome @StormcloakNord and @tibni I agree with zebracat - I have found that sometimes it’s better to go with the “bad” choice. In the past I used to have something other than the cake etc that I really wanted and ended up having both plus a few extra things as I felt bad. Now if I want a treat I try waiting and seeing if it’s just boredom etc but then if I still want it I have it and enjoy it.

@alphaechokiwi I really like the idea of a Sunday "off". I think I might try that. I've been having one little twix bar every night as well so that I don't feel like I'm constantly waiting to have something nice/sweet, as chocolate is 100% my downfall!

@ScottishBeth thank you! I'm sitting at 7.5lbs lost which is definitely my "tipping" point, so I'm determined to stay posting here and keep myself going. If I can reach 10lbs lost I'll be really happy. Small goals I suppose, rather than thinking about the absolute mountain ahead of me!

@Rainbowsleepysloth thank you - I definitely need to repeat this over and over in my head. Tomorrow for example DH surprised me by ordering some fancy cookies that sell out very quick. He bought 4 and usually I'd eat 2/he'd eat 2 but we've messaged our friends down the road to ask if they want the other 2. So instead of 2, I'll have 1 and I won't let it ruin the whole day either, even if I can't track it!! Small wins and all that 

@Zebracat I've never had a strawberry and whipped cream sandwich but that sounds absolutely incredible! I'd imagine low-ish calorie too? I definitely need to try this. Do you just half the strawberries and spread whipped cream over them? Sounds so nice!!

@Stuckanddesperate Hi! Thank you! I totally agree with what you've said - quite often if I really want something I'll have something else "healthier" to try and get around it but you're right it just ends up in eating both things. I like the idea of just having what you want, but being sensible about it! Here's hoping it works

Why have strawberry and whipped cream sandwiches never been part of my life? I will definitely have to try them this year.

@StormcloakNord yes! Definitely a good idea to set regular goals. I sat and made a list of all the goals a couple of weeks ago. I'm hoping it'll help because I never have more than 4.5kg between two targets. But hopefully once I've lost the first 4.5kg I'll notice a small change, which will motivate me to keep going. I'm trying to think about it, as well. So each week to reflect on what has gone well and what less well, any changes, etc. And also posting here!

Well I had the strawberries and cream on top of toasted bagel, and the textures were wonderful. Teenager did them on sliced white with the crusts cut off and that might be too soft and claggy for me. But it actually was only 330 calories, less than my usual lunch, altho I then pinched 2 of her mini sausage rolls straight from the oven, so that’s another 100. This isnt a matter for me of holding my breath until I get to a healthy weight and then falling straight back to my old ways. I love food, I don’t want it to be the enemy. But tonight I will have salad and a jacket potato, and it will all balance.

StormcloakNord , Ammorey , tibni welcome.

Sorry I'm grumpy and impatient today (nothing to do with weight loss) and not very helpful, but glad to see you've had lots of nice welcomes and good discussion.

I completely agree about "good" versus "bad" food, "slip ups" "going off track" etc etc being deeply unhelpful diet industry vocabulary. Zebracat has it right - a healthy attitude to food and a pragmatic, balanced approach to weightloss are key, not seeing food as the enemy and engaging in catastrophic, dramatic thinking.

I have been able to stick to interval fasting and minimal fasting just because a highly stressful time came to a close for me. I was struggling to stay afloat and then finished final exams at the end of a 3 year horrendous course in July - I didn't have the results and didn't know whether I'd passed, I just knew I'd stuck it to the end despite a 33% drop out rate and children homeschooling in the first lockdown and and and... so I felt light and free (despite a BMI of 41) and just didn't need the crutch any more. Before I started the course I'd used sugar and carbs instead of sleep tocope with an adorable, gorgeous, loving child who'd never slept for more than two hours at a stretch, and I had fallen into doing all night waking due to breast feeding but never stopped even when I stopped breastfeeding. He was sleeping, the course was over, July brought the summer holidays for the kids- easier than homeschooling...

It's not a magical bullet I can offer anyone else I'm afraid - I was able to do this this time because life became less stressful. I think my relationship with food was/ is more like an alcoholic's with alcohol - i.e. all about other stuff and not about food at all. Its infinitely easier to be in control of your weight when life is easy, if food is your crutch it's incredibly hard to lose weight if life stress is overwhelming.