Mutual support thread for those currently losing or working towards losing a lot of weight

[UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme]

This is a mutual support thread for anyone who wants (and needs) to lose a lot of weight, is mid way through losing a lot of weight, or is nearing the end of a big weight loss and wants to continue to support and be supported as maintenance approaches.

The previous thread has been massively helpful to regular posters, as we share both our losses and our plateau or gains, congratulate or console, and talk about what works for us while understanding that different things work for different people, and we are all different ages, all have different families/ households/ people to plan around, different commitments, different working lives and different health conditions which partly determine our approaches.

We are all on this journey together - this thread is for us to encourage one another, post updates, chat about what we're doing, how we're doing, share stories and thoughts and sometimes wander slightly off topic if we want, but everyone posting should be somewhere along the journey towards escaping high BMI obesity.

The previous thread was started by someone who no longer posts and initially asked how to lose 9 stone - it developed into a support thread for people with varying amounts left to lose but all of whom started out with at least 5 or 6 stone + / 30 or 35 kg + to lose, very roughly...

No links to selling sites or unsolicited "helpful" lectures please - mutual support from existing and new posters all actually living this big weight loss now, or just starting out, welcome!

Previous thread here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight_loss_chat/3894410-i-need-to-lose-9st-help

88.2kg this morning. I've passed my half way point to a 50kg loss. From now on hopefully I have less to lose than I already have lost. It feels like I've passed a significant personal milestone somehow.

@Zebracat and others struggling with family demands, I hear you. I generally keep quiet, I've not mentioned my plan or weight loss or plan to anyone IRL. When we eat together as a family, I eat the same as everyone else, with discreet portion tweeks. It seems to have worked because my DP has only recently noticed I've lost weight and had not copped at all that I'm eating differently. I vividly remember the adults around me discussing women's weight when I was little. I know that's where a lot of my shame and angst about my body comes from. I am absolutely determined that my daughter will not experience that.
Now my DP is asking me lots of questions about what I'm going to eat for various meals and it's stressful. I much prefer it to be under everyone's radar.....
Happy Sunday everyone! Welcome @Overstrained - 20 pounds is a great start.

Hi everyone
A lovely day today and great to know that each day gets longer with more light for the next three months. This winter has felt too long.
I've lost another 2 pounds today so nearly at the 2 stone mark which will mean so much. @ScottishBeth I haven't really set targets like yours will be really helpful. @alphaechokiwi well done on your amazing work so far- over half way. It'll seem more downhill from now let's hope. I've always been daunted before by the enormity of the task, but don't seem to feel that this time. I'm feeling as though it's like a job I have to do and I've never given up on jobs for others- this time I'm not giving up on me.
@Zebracat I hope the family get themselves sorted. Maybe making meaals they're not so keen on cold be a good tactic and make them get busy in the kitchen
@Newrunner94 so sorry about the shin pain, let's hope it heals and you can get back to the joy of running. I've been running in my dreams lately- oh if only that burned calories
I'm batch cooking a big bolognese style tomato ragu today so I have something I can just pull out of the freezer for any days ahead that might be more difficult. Hope everyone has a lovely positive day and thank you for all the encouragement I've had so far

Happy Sunday everyday.. it’s my weighing day and I have gained but it’s ok. 99.5 kilos.
I don’t feel like I ate that much, the birthday cake was nasty and I had a small plate of the takeout, so I think that .5 kilo will melt away over the next few days. Feel like I ve sold my family a bit short.. Theyare lovely ! but Dh does most of the cooking and he is resistant to change, and the teen has been ill this week and her appetite is a fragile thing at best. Adult son is a bit rude though, I’m starting to pull him up on it.
@alphaechokiwi well done on your mini goal achievement. I loved seeing your goals. Wish I was a spreadsheet person. My goals are that so far I have lost the weight of both my cats which takes me halfway to the smallest dog, who is half the weight of the middle sized dog. strange but it works for me! The largest dog is 40 kilos, so they make a good set of scales.
It is so lovely to hear from you all.

@Overstrained, well done on your latest loss
@Zebracat , I love the idea of a 'pet scale' of weight loss .
Families are complex....and losing weight is hard. They are very tricky in combination. My partner has unwittingly been the undoing of my efforts in the past. Learning to navigate it all is a success in itself....

Morning everyone, I've deliberately not told DH that I'm actively trying to lose weight. I've just told him I want to cut out/reduce snacking and cut out fizzy drinks. The problem is he does both of these a lot, and I find he tends to try and get me to do the same as him - not maliciously though. He's aware I used to have an eating disorder, so he's trying to be helpful.

I had a fairly bad week last week, badly her myself and did a little comfort eating, then after having the vaccine on Friday and feeling a bit rough over the weekend I just wanted lazy food. So thought a I'd be lucky to lose 1lb, somehow I've managed to lose 5lb though. Definitely not expecting to keep that rate up!

However my first mini goal was to lose 11lb, and I've reached 8lb in 3 weeks. So I'm feeling good. Lost an inch off the waist too, so that helps.

NetflixAddict I forgot to say well done on the 3.2kg loss - that's fantastic for a week! I think you can play around with your weigh in day and see what works for you psychologically. After a while I think it matters less as it becomes a "big picture" over time.

Newrunner94 well done on the 2lb. I worked the weekend so I have today off. How was your weekend?

Overstrained glad you're feeling benefits already, I'm still astonished by your massive starting loss

Zebracat I hope you enjoyed the birthday food - you're so right that this has to be part of everyday life and flexible, no matter which approach we're using, to keep going long term.

Backtobackagain I always eat if the kids have baked, and if they cook, tbh it isn't trying one biscuits or fairy cake that made me obese, but the not stopping at one or (more honestly in my case) the stress eating I did alone - I know I ate bought junk - bought chocolate and biscuits mostly - to sort of block out things I was feeling overwhelmed by and to procrastinate and avoid things I was afraid of not doing well or finding very hard or simply didn't want to do, as well as out of deep seated exhaustion/ bone tiredness as an unhealthy alternative to sleeping when sleeping wasn't an option.

ScottishBeth glad you're finding the thread friendly and helpful. I hope you get to have and enjoy that meal out! We're getting take away pizza next weekend as I have the weekend off and I will certainly eat a whole pizza I've been doing that occasionally throughout my weightloss and it all balances out - I actually think as long as it's rare it even helps, as sometimes I probably eat less than I should because things don't go to plan on a work day and I don't get a proper meal or similar, so its good to also very occasionally kick the metabolism into action with a big meal imo - well thats my theory and I'm sticking to it

We don't go to that funpark any more really - last time was almost 2 years ago due to lockdown even my youngest has probably almost outgrown it's attractions now, it was more aimed at toddler through primary school age and my youngest is nearly ten. It was just a strong memory from the baby and toddler phase when I would have gone on with tinies but didn't due to my weight (though after dc2 getting back to 80kg did seem not that far off, I never actually did it, then after dc3 I got a lot heavier as he barely slept for years and I had the older two still preschoolers and too old to nap).

alphaechokiwi really well done on passing your half way point, woo hoo!

I didn't tell anyone what I was doing until they noticed either, I think it's best. Shift work and the kids being old enough to get their own breakfast and lunch has meant that it wasn't too obvious, as I eat the same as everyone else and the same type of meals we always have for dinner. The biggest change has been not snacking with DH every evening I'm home, after dinner especially after the kids are in bed. DH was initially unhappy about that as he doesn't like snacking alone and wants us to snack together, but he's used to it now and positive about it. I'm also walking a lot and DH has started coming with me out of concern for his own health since his very late to the party employer finally made gome working the default - due to data security this didn't happen until after Christmas at DH's employer!

At work more than half my team are now doing interval fasting as they call it here, and daily walking! None of them noticed what I was doing until about five months in, then people started asking, and now five out of eight colleagues on my team are doing it too, plus the boss who oversees our team and four others, and my former mentor. Its a bit weird as all of them are expecting me to give advice, and I very much just play it by ear and don't have that much to add to what I told them the first time they asked me - they all also report their weight loss and walking to me at random moments... feel as though I should be running a colleagues support group!

Zebracat well done on being philosophical about the 0.5kg, I agree it'll melt away - that's what's happened when I've had gains like that too. Glad your family are ok really and well done on pulling up your adult son - its a common theme on MN isn't it - I wonder if adult children living with parents again actually feel a bit infantslised by it and are rude to cover it up, but it's no excuse! They should be extra helpful and polite, returning to live in the parental home as adults!

MedusasBadHairDay well done on the 5lb / 8lb total, you must have been doing better than you thought!

We're back to homeschooling here for everyone but exam years due to the incidence being back up - 9 year old had two weeks of half class going alternate days then one week with the whole class and is now homeschool again, 13 year old had a grand total of two days at school - half class, alternate days - and is back to homeschooling too! Argh... Only dc1 (exam year) is at school full time so I still have to get up before 6am to make sure she's got up at 6am to leave for her bus at 6:30

Hello all, checking in.

Just read through & love @ScottishBeth idea of staged mini goals to work though. I will add some more into my spreadsheet. Love the pet scales too. Will try weighing my cats later!

I'm 5ft 8 & currently 16 stone 9lb. Have lost 2 stone since starting at start of this year but stayed the same today at weigh In for the first time. Have overindulged a bit this last week & need a kick up the bum. It's a lot of effort all the healthy eating, even with massive stocks of soup in the freezer & I found it easier in Jan & Feb when I had no alcohol & was crazy busy - I'm a childminder so my own dc & mindees here all day was horrendous but I treated it like a prison sentence to get through & seemed to help. Assisted my weight loss taking them all on a day walk too.

I've been doing my 10k steps a day but no other exercise as yet, (because I hate exercise!)

I wondered about changing my weigh in day to maybe a Sunday - I usually have a more relaxed day after weigh in but often find Sundays are also more relaxed as I'm squeezing the enjoyment out of the last of the weekend!

Hi @buckeejit - I remember you from the last thread. I have to say 2 stone since the beginning of Jan is very impressive. Well done...
I think many of us have relaxed a little since the kids went back to school. It was so stressful having them at home...you did doubly well losing that weight when they were home (not to mention other people's kids too😱). I'm sure you'll get back into a rhythm again soon!

@alphaechokiwi half way is amazing well done!
The 2 stone mark is brilliant @Overstrained, for some reason a nice round number always feels like a bigger achievement.
@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme that's great you've got your office motivated!

Finding the support from this thread really helpful- got home from work after finishing my fast and very nearly stumbled into out of control eating, but instead looked at this thread and all of your amazing achievements has given me the motivation to stick to my plan. I want to experience your successes more than I want that chocolate- that is major progress for me!

@Backtobackagain well done for resisting the urge. I find chocolate very hard to resist.

Thanks for such positive responses and warm welcomes @Backtobackagain well done on resisting the choc urge @buckeejit Thanks, you've reminded me to charge up my fitness band. It's a cheapish Samsung one and I haven't used it much lately as my walking has been restricted due to bad hip pain. But, it's a little easier some days and I suppose will ease more as the weight goes. Don't think I'll reach 10K steps a day just yet, unless I wave my arms around wildly. My tracker seems to log all movement. Must invest in a step tracker- any tips?

Hi @overstrained. Most phones have step trackers

Sorry that posted before I was finished, trying to say that those apps are usually free.
I’m feeling really bloated today, don’t know why. This is something I don’t miss from the days of overeating. I can only think it’s because I am drinking much more water, and may be gulping air in with it.
Feels quite springlike today, I’ve started tidying my garden up. I think I’m always heavier in winter because I’m not gardening. Can’t wait for swimming pools to open too. I’m better when I am active, I know it’s not supposed to make much difference to weight loss, but it really does for me. Think I must be a mesomorph.

@Zebracat - I hear you on the swimming! Outdoor pools open again next Monday an I already have my slot booked....

@Backtobackagain great job resisting the chocolate, I always find it hard once I feel the urge so well done!
I know what you mean @Zebracat unless I eat a ridiculously small amount I can't lose weight without exercising, I feel it keeps my mindset on track as well when I'm more active.
It's a strange week food wise for me, my downside is always binge eating, I've tried to lose weight so many times and this is the first time I've lasted so long. But every so often I get the urge to go and eat ALL the biscuits, especially now theres noone home during the day its even harder to resist (in the past I could easily eat a sharing bag of crisps, 200g bar of chocolate and more!). Its crept in a few times in the last few weeks, though I've limited before going too crazy. So this week I'm trying to plan in more treats to avoid overdoing it, it feels very strange to plan chocolate while I'm 'being good' but it seems to be working so far so fingers crossed! Hows everyones weeks going so far?

@alphaechokiwi. Jealous of a local outdoor pool. We have open water swimming but it’s a bit cold for that yet, but I do love a lido.

@Zebracat - I have you to thank for the unexpected pleasure of my local lido. Back on the old thread last winter, I posted about how difficult I was finding it to exercise with the pain in my joints ... You suggested swimming, and it sparked something in me. I'm really grateful you too the time to reply back then...

buckeejit welcome (back)! Two stone so far is brilliant, hopefully now that spring is here, or almost here, it'll get a bit easier.

The only exercise I do is walking, but I try to walk almost every day, depending a bit on my combination of shifts and homeschooling that day. I usually squeeze at least a couple of miles in 5 or 6 days per week, and try to make sure I do between 5 and 10 miles on one or two of those days. I agree with Newrunner that it helps my mindset more than anything, and it's as much about being outdoors for me.

I'd love to swim - at university we had sn olympic size pool on campus and I swam a mile every morning at 6am (free university swimming club only sessions) even if I'd been out partying, or up scrabbling to meet an essay deadline, until 3am (not sure how I didn't drown...) and was in really good shape and really enjoyed it. What a luxuary!

Our numbers are going up wildly though (I'm in Germany) we're back to homeschooling, our indoor pools never opened at all this season and our outdoor pools never open before May bank holiday anyway, so no swimming in sight here for at least 6 weeks, and possibly not even then...

So my Dd told me today that she is getting married in August. Selfishly, one of my 1st thoughts was that I don’t want to be in a size 20 dress. I’m usually an 18 but my bust takes me to a 20. Would it be realistic to try and be a size 16 by July? I currently weigh 99 kilos, I was a 14-16 when I weighed 92 about 4 years ago, so it’s only about 3 kilos a month, I have lost 6 kilos since January,, but I have been thinking I need to step it up a bit. . I just can’t bear the thought of me sailing along in artificial lace and Spanx, sweating like a pig. Not that I gravitate towards artificial lace. I was slightly squeezed into size 18 Boden for my sons wedding and it was hot, really don’t want to be uncomfortable. Not sure if this should be in S and B, but my anxiety is about being obese. I don’t think it’s a good idea to diet for an occasion, but I have already begun, it would just be good to be feeling the benefit by then .
Meanwhile those special days keep coming. It’s our wedding anniversary tomorrow and we are having a posh cheese picnic at lunchtime and steak for tea,, but I have been active and sticking to plan all week.
How is everyone doing?

Zebracat congratulations on the impending wedding - I thought your DD was a teen, I think I must have posters muddled!

I agree with you about not losing weight for an occassion, but that's not what you're doing - the occassion is just a way point, and it doesn't do harm to have a realistic goal for a point in time as long as you're pragmatic about the reality of weight loss not being a direct, linear progress and won't slip into the depths of despair if you don't lose exactly according to plan - I'm sure you're realistic enough not to let blips and sl throw you! 3kg per month sounds very achievable to me.

I'm doing fine - usually weigh on Friday but had night shift last night, so will probably weigh tomorrow. Think I've stayed roughly the same, but that's not unexpected as the scales went down 2kg the week before.

DC3 and I went for a bike ride yesterday morning - first one of the year, finally not icy! He has his cycling proficiency course in May so part of his homeschooling was to go on a bike ride - lovely assumptions as usual about having someone to go with on a term time Thursday morning! Though due to shift work the assumption was correct yesterday