Mutual support thread for those currently losing or working towards losing a lot of weight

[UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme]

This is a mutual support thread for anyone who wants (and needs) to lose a lot of weight, is mid way through losing a lot of weight, or is nearing the end of a big weight loss and wants to continue to support and be supported as maintenance approaches.

The previous thread has been massively helpful to regular posters, as we share both our losses and our plateau or gains, congratulate or console, and talk about what works for us while understanding that different things work for different people, and we are all different ages, all have different families/ households/ people to plan around, different commitments, different working lives and different health conditions which partly determine our approaches.

We are all on this journey together - this thread is for us to encourage one another, post updates, chat about what we're doing, how we're doing, share stories and thoughts and sometimes wander slightly off topic if we want, but everyone posting should be somewhere along the journey towards escaping high BMI obesity.

The previous thread was started by someone who no longer posts and initially asked how to lose 9 stone - it developed into a support thread for people with varying amounts left to lose but all of whom started out with at least 5 or 6 stone + / 30 or 35 kg + to lose, very roughly...

No links to selling sites or unsolicited "helpful" lectures please - mutual support from existing and new posters all actually living this big weight loss now, or just starting out, welcome!

Previous thread here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight_loss_chat/3894410-i-need-to-lose-9st-help

Newrunner94 yep as Zebra says sometimes when you don't realise you're flat out/ stressed you feel quite flat and unmotivated instead of energised when the stress or pressure lifts! Maybe use the last child free day to be nice to yourself in a postive way - a walk and a long bath with a book is what I'd do - then worry about workouts next week if you want.

Welcome @Newrunner94 The weight you've lost so far is amazing. Have you noticed any associated changes? It sounds like you've been really busy as well. It's good you've joined us!

How is everyone else getting on? Today is hard for me. I'm not having a great day after my COVID infection, and also it's the first day of my period, and my period pains are horrible. So I've had a little chocolate with both my lunch and my afternoon snack. This is fine according to what I'm doing, but the important thing now is that I don't eat anything till my evening meal. I feel like this is the first time I've been tempted to sit and eat constantly. But it's not long till tea! I'll keep going and am pretty confident I'll be fine!

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme you're totally right, it was completely full on all day every day squeezing everything in and I've tried to carry it on and just hasnt worked! I'll give myself a little break like you say and try a better balance next week.
@ScottishBeth thankyou! I definitely feel better in myself, it's hard to notice as you go along but I'm definitely less out of breath doing the school run, walking faster, I can see a difference in the mirror with is really nice. Hopefully find some accountability here, having the kids at school is actually harder as theres free access to the snack cupboard!
Oh no that's a hard day! Cravings are so much worse when you feel rubbish aren't they, you sound so positive I'm sure you can keep them at bay.

How’s it going @ScottishBeth? Did you make it through until dinner time? My meals haven’t been great this week but managed to avoid the biscuit tin. I’m trying the wait 15 minutes and see if the urge has gone away technique which seems to help.

@Newrunner94 that sounds fab that you're better in yourself.

I did resist the snacks! So very pleased about that. I'm sure the chocolate wasn't ideal, but I was careful with the quantities, so I think I did ok. I'm feeling a lot better today as well, so that's good.

ScottishBeth and Stuckanddesperate well done for avoiding mindless snacking! Nothing should be completely forbidden IMO but definitely waiting to meal times is a really good way to keep control while still knowing you can have what you crave if you wait a bit.

I usually weigh on Thursday or Friday and saw 79.9kg on the scales at 5am this morning before my early shift! (small Celebration in order for breaking 80 and 40kg total loss!)

I gsined almost a kg last week and its gone plus another kg - definitely water weight gain last week as my period arrived on Monday. I'm the lightest I've been since before my middle DC (now 13) was born, even though I lost weight between dc2 and 3 - I remember the trampolines at a kids funpark we went to regularly had an 80kg maximum weight and thinking I should get myself below that but never quite making it! So pretty pleased with that.

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme woohoo, under 80 is fantastic. So well done.
I would love to be under 80, it’s what my Dh sticks to, and he did once say that he did not think I would ever get there, very depressing. I would like to prove him wrong.
Feeling blah today, bit bad tempered. I’m making a veggie curry for tea which will draw polite avoidance from teen and probably something less polite from adult son.

Hugely inspiring @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme!
At the moment I will be excited to pass the 100kg mark, but under 80kg would take me less than I’ve been since I left uni- I’ve been “heavy” since childhood, but really got overweight the year I left my boyfriend (now husband) at uni while I lived alone and started teaching. Stress, comfort eating and having no one to cook for/with got me into some bad habits, which I’ve not managed to get out of over the last 13 years, even though I lost weight to have my children. I have always just slipped back into bad habits. That’s what I really want to change this time.
My weight was 1lb up this morning, but I think just daily fluctuations. I haven’t had a great week with some mindless choices. Had a bagel this morning, however, that was more planned, really wanted it, decided to have it, and am adjusting calories for the rest of the day to balance it.
Have a great weekend everyone!

Your family sound so unsupportive Zebra - I want to shake them!

DD is cooking a stor fry noodle dish, which my sons also won't eat... They ate the gulasch I made yesterday and the salmon the day before, so they can make themselves porridge if they don't want tonight's meal!

Backtobackagain thanks! I also stress eat, but I have always been my lightest when living alone and heavier when living with other people - when I lived alone I didn't eat just because it was a meal time, so if I'd eaten something at 11am or 3ppm I didn't feel obligated to eat lunch/ dinner with the family - when living with people I still ate between meals but felt obligated to cook and eat meals too!

Well done on getting back to planned eating today!

@ScottishBeth well done for fighting through it, a good little victory.
Under 80kg is amazing @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme well done!

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme - great news.... woo hoo!!!

Brilliant @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme you must be delighted

How's everyone getting on? Well done to those with losses!

Friday's are weigh days for me and I was 112.6kg this morning.

So that's a loss of 3.2kgs for my first week.

The problem with having weigh days on a Friday for me is that I'm more likely to then slip over the weekend as 'I have all week to make up for it.' As evidenced by tonight when I got a McDonald's after work because I was too tired to cook. I'm thinking of moving weigh day to Monday's to help me stay disciplined over the weekends.

@Stuckanddesperate, that a fantastic loss. Well done.
I understand the impulse to let things slip, there's a balance isn't there? I weigh on Sunday mornings and don't count calories or fast for the rest of the day. I have Sunday dinner and whatever else I fancy and get back to things on Monday. I honestly don't think I would have gotten this far if I didn't include this kind of relaxed day in py plan....

Hello all
I'm really glad to have found this group and look forward to reading your stories and sharing our experiences. I'm quite new to posting so please excuse any faux pas. I have over 100lbs to lose and started my lifestyle change 3 weeks ago. So far, I've lost 20lbs and it's been hugely motivating. For the first time in a long time, I don't feel daunted by the task ahead.
Having been an on off dieter for 3 decades, I have come to realise that the aspect I have to change most is my own mind. I believe it's my most powerful tool in helping me solve what is now a life limiting problem. My head is in such a good place at the moment and I'm doing my very best to explore that mood/emotion in an effort to hold on to it. Motivation and determination are such fickle notions for me and yet, they are my best friends in this challenge. I want to keep them by my side as allies and not let them wander off if I lose my way along the journey. Foodwise, I'm keeping it simple for now, eating just three meals a day (no snacks at all) and avoiding processed food, alcohol and sugar while keeping carbs below 100g a day where I can.

Welcome to the thread Overstrained - did I read that right - have you really lost 20lb in 3 weeks?
3 meals, no snacks, processed food, alcohol or sugar sounds very healthy.
I agree mindset is probably the most important thing - its most certainly easier to do this when feeling good than from a negative starting point! I hope you'll get lots of support from this thread.

@NetflixAddict totally understand, I weigh on Saturday morning so I can relax a bit more over the weekend but really trying to stop from just eating everything in sight! That's a great loss for your first week!
@Overstrained that's incredible well done! You're right so much is mindset, can I ask how you've managed with no snacks and low carb, I tried keeping carbs down a few weeks ago and just couldn't stay strong!
I've kept up with my workouts but my mind wasn't in it towards the end of the week so my food wasn't great at all so I was pleasantly surprised with a 2lb loss this week.
Hows everyones plans for the weekend?

Thanks @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme
Yes that's right 20lbs. I'm equally surprised at my initial loss, but realise that it's just a starting mode and probably mostly due to excess water retention. So, I won't polish my halo just yet.
I expect a more steady and reliable loss from now on and certainly don't want to become obsessed with the scales.Sadly, I'm restricted with walking exercise atm as I have a very painful arthritic hip. Can't wait for the swimming pools to open! I'm sure losing a couple of stones will make all the difference to my hip pain as well.
The benefits I'm feeling already are keeping my positive mindset going. This group seems really supportive, so it will be great to know that if and when my motivation takes flight, there is help here.

@NetflixAddict
Hi, great name- I'm addicted to Netflix atm, mainly crime dramas. So, the snacking issue; I'm working really hard on controlling my impulses to stop drinking and snacking. I have in fact taken food out of the cupboard to eat but then I have an internal conversation with myself. I ask myself why I want to eat it, is it hunger or emotion based? I also use visualisation and imagine myself hobbling along, unable to play with my new baby granddaughter or being a burden on my kids. That's powerful for me. I also try a bit of mindfulness and feel my hunger sensation. I must admit, as a habitual emotional eater, it's not a sensation I've experienced often. And you know, it's not so bad. It doesn't hurt and it goes away after a bit. Shopping is stil hard. I find myself drawn to the alcohol section, but againI imagine how I'll feel the next morning if I give in to wine atm. I'm not saying I'll never drink or snack again, but right now, getting mastery of my urges is my main aim.

@Newrunner94 oops..error my last post was supposed to be for you. Looking forward to being able to run. I wish you joy on your runs

Welcome @Overstrained . 20 pounds! Trying not to be jealous. You are so right about the mental battle tho. I think we all have circumstances that make weight loss difficult, because it is difficult, if it wasn’t, we would all be at a healthy weight, but we also make choices every single day, and owning them is actually quite restful.. I don’t have a particularly supportive family, they are happy for me to do my thing, until it means their lifestyle is impacted, but my challenge is to stick to task and let them deal with it. It’s not like I’m expecting them to eat cabbage for every meal, just less sugar, less meat, more whole foods. If they don’t want it they can get something else.
Having said that, it’s DHs birthday today, and so far, we’ve had crumpets and pancakes with birthday cake and takeout to come. But Im owning it!

@Overstrained 20lbs is amazing! And even taking into account water loss, it’s a huge boost to see the scales move so rapidly. For me, I lost an initial 7lbs, but then have got a bit stuck.
Having a positive day though anyway, and have been active all day and have got my steps in. I’ve planned my calories through to the end of the day, which means I can join in with family dinner without going over my calories.
@Zebracat- I share your frustration with support from family. My husband loves to cook and can never be persuaded to change ingredients eg. Cooking Spray rather than cooking oil. Today he’s made chocolate chip cookies with our boys, and I can’t disappoint them by not even trying one. I’m trying to get balance so I’m not a diet bore, and can join in with family life (particularly important when this is a long term thing), but it would be great to have a bit more support!

@Overstrained Welcome to the thread (and I don't think I've been on such a friendly thread ever - I hope you find it that way!) I completely agree about mindset being the most important thing. And sounds like you're on to a fantastic start.

@NetflixAddict and @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme congratulations on a!axing weight loss for both of you! Very good news. @UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme are you going to go on the trampoline now?

All this talk of having the odd day where you relax a bit makes a lot of sense. My wife and I are going out for a meal in 3.5 weeks, when it's allowed (outside). However I've just realised we're going out on a Tuesday and my weighing day is a Wednesday! So that was poor planning. But I'm still going to enjoy it. I think there are probably lots of ways I could cut back, but still enjoy a nice meal. On that note @Zebracat enjoy your takeaway tonight!

I went through and set some targets for me to meet, and I'm quite pleased. There's never more than 4.5kg between two points, so hopefully that'll make it quite achievable. And hopefully once I've lost the first few kg I'll notice some kind of difference, which should be encouraging. Also I've found out there's plans for a social group I'm part of to meet up again at the end of June. It would be nice to have lost a decent amount by then.

@Newrunner94 I hope you're feeling a bit better now! Are you able to do something nice for yourself?

@ScottishBeth I've had a good relaxed day and haven't really worried about what I've eaten, I think all the time at home with the kids I was looking forward to this child free time to get so much done and just ended up worn out! Definitely more realistic expectations for next week should help. You should definitely still be able to enjoy a lovely meal out, like everyone I'm sure you deserve one after so long. I too find it useful to have smaller goals to get to before your main goal, its definitely encouraging once you lose the first few and start to see a difference.

@Overstrained that is seriously impressive self control! Visualisation is a really good idea, I hadn't thought of it I'll definitely try to focus on my reasons this week. Unfortunately after a few runs (which I loved) I started getting shin pain again so I've had to stop and swap to home workouts again for a while. Hopefully the exercise will get easier for you when things open up again.