Really need to get this sorted but DS needs to put on weight!

[drspouse]

For better or worse I end up doing a lot of the cooking but DS has ADHD and his meds reduce his appetite and he gets fussy so we've tended to eat main meals that are more calorific and/or kid friendly (he'd have sausages and wedges every day if he could).
DH is fine at good plain cooking (pasta, wedges plus something from the freezer).
And I get SO HUNGRY if I try to do without snacks. I try to make most of our own/get dried fruit and nuts/fresh fruit but I know some of that isn't always healthy.
But I would really like to fit into some of my trousers!
I tend to log most days on MFP and then despair after I've worked out the total.
What to do! DCs have school dinners but DS eats very little so we feed him up with toast/leftovers at supper time when his meds wear off. But he needs a substantial tea as well.

Easiest way is to just have an alternate side dish.

So if you're doing wedges/chips for DH and Ds, throw some greenbeans or broccoli on a baking tray and roast that at the same time as the wedges/chips are cooking and you have that.

If you're doing pasta serve yourself up a smaller portion and add some extra veg like greenbeans/mushrooms/babycorn. You can cook them in a covered jug with a little water in 3 mins in the microwave.

For snacks, protein and fat will fill you up for longer. Boiled egg or beef jerky are around 70 calories a serving. You can have pretzels which are lower calories than crisps, bag up 30g portions of nuts so you don't over eat. Fibre One bars or aldi's Benefit cereal bars are good and under 100 calories each.

I have to be honest here and say if I had sausages or a fish bake with just veg and no potatoes I'd be running to the snack cupboard all evening (and I forgot to say, DH has diabetes so we always have sweet snacks in).
I am not really into prepackaged snack bar type things but good call to pack up a snack portion. I think in the days when I went to the office I took that kind of thing with me weighed out, it seems so long ago but that must have helped!

Have been eyeing up Pinch of Nom but I can't really cook that kind of thing for DS🤦🏼

Is your DH type 1 or type 2?

Type 1.

Just wondering why you would say that you always have sweet snacks in, if DH is a diabetic? Or why he's cooking stuff like pasta and wedges - surely none of that would be recommended if he's a diabetic?

I think you need to separate your nutritional needs from your DC. Do everyone a favour and don't have any snacks in the house at all. Just don't buy them. Eat 2 or 3 meals of protein and good fats with veg. Lots of water between. You have a snack habit to break and the whole family would benefit from breaking away from that. Your DC can eat what they are willing to eat at meal times - I'd suggest plain Greek yogurt topped with fruit and low sugar granola as a regular dessert option for them.
Everyone to take a vitamin and mineral supplement to rebalance any deficiencies.

Your dh needs to keep an emergency box of jelly babies (or whatever he uses for his hypo’s) and it should be for his use only. Replace it only when it’s used and if he concentrates on good control he should be preventing hypos not treating them. Don’t keep any other “treats” in the house.

@BIWI

Just wondering why you would say that you always have sweet snacks in, if DH is a diabetic? Or why he's cooking stuff like pasta and wedges - surely none of that would be recommended if he's a diabetic?

Type 1 diabetics eat a normal diet with a normal proportion of carbs. If he has a hypo he MUST have sugar or he will die.

@VividImagination he needs a good deal more than a box of jelly babies. I'm not about to eat his dextrose tablets

@DianaT1969 did you read the part where I said my DS needs to put on weight and my DH has diabetes?
Both of them need snacks in the house to stay healthy.

Sorry OP but as long as you will be making excuses and blame your weight on your family members' health issues, you are pre-set to fail.

Own it and do something about it. You don't snack out of hunger but habit and craving, Just don't .

None of you needs high carb snacks. You need to eat proper meals.

Yes, your DH might need to have carbs to hand to avoid a hypo, but your idea of 'normal' carbs is actually a high carb diet which won't be doing him any favours. (See the diabetes.co.uk website).

If you want to lose weight, then you also need to curb the carbs. Up your protein and fat and that will stop you being hungry between meals.

With respect. @BIWI both Diabetes UK and DH consultant suggest A NORMAL DIET which has approx 50% of calories from carbs. As you clearly aren't either of those people you'll forgive me if I actually listen to DH, his consultant etc not you.

And the main way to get calories into DS is also carbs. They don't have to be sweet (though he is an apple addict, those have very few calories, and we don't keep a stash of chocolate in for obvious reasons) he's a child with SEN, a limited diet and who is underweight. He won't eat cheese, nuts, salami, cold sausages or any of the other proteins or fats we've tried. He won't eat whole milk or butter so we can't add those to just his food.

@LeGrandBleu I'm not lying when I say I get much much too hungry not to snack. I know Mumsnet thinks carbs are evil and nobody will feel hungry if they don't ever have a snack, but you'll just have to believe me when I say some days I'm too hungry to make tea if I don't have something first, OK? Unless you think feeling shaky and having a rumbling stomach are NOT symptoms of hunger?

Why are you asking for advice @drspouse, if you so clearly know what you're doing?

I haven't commented about your son as he obviously has very specific needs, which I'm not privy to.

But I do know about carbs and their impact on blood sugars and (ultimately) weight. If you're feeling shaky between/before meals, this is a sign of low blood sugar - and that is caused by too much insulin being produced because you have consumed a lot of carbs. Your prerogative if you don't want to believe that.

I’m wondering if the intense hunger/need to snack is connected to the carb rollercoaster too. The more bread, potatoes, pasta etc I have, the more I crave a sweet treat like a biscuit, and have that impending crashing feeling if I don’t get some more carbs in sharpish. It’s hard work the first week when you readjust, but it really does stop the cycle if you commit to it beyond that first week.

Well, I thought someone might have helpful advice that, you know, actually helps and doesn't mean I'm eating a fad diet that's completely different to the rest of my family and against NHS advice.
I forgot how evil carbs are according to Mumsnet.

I get that shaky light headed feeling when I've eaten a lot of sugar and carbs. When you start a diet moving away from all that you will feel crap but it doesn't last forever. Your body needs to adjust.

I have used intermittent fasting this lot if success. I recommend the book delay, don't deny by Gin Stephens which also gives a lot of info about his sugar and carbs affect your body.

Your dh needs to follow the advice he has been given but you don't 🤷🏻‍♀️

@drspouse honestly, when I started my new diet in August this year, I went very very low carb for 2 weeks just as a kind of reset. I ate loads of food, at least 1600 calories a day, but just not carbs. I felt starving, mouth watering, belly rumbling for just under 1 week. Then like a switch it stopped and all of a sudden I didn't feel like snacking, wasn't always hungry, had loads more energy and just generally felt better. After that I started adding healthier complex carbs back in to my diet.

I do not advocate for cutting out any food groups (although I hate fish and seafood so never eat that), but there is very little nutritional benefit in white pasta, bread, cakes, chocolate and all that stuff. All it does is give you sugar spikes which then cause you to feel hungry a couple of hours after eating.

I took a 3 day diet break over Xmas, ate whatever I liked and I'm paying for it now, having to break that sugar cycle again and battle with the gnawing hunger and lethargy that high Glycemic Index foods cause, thankfully it seems to be settling down quicker this time.

Look up a low GI foods list and use that to substitute out your normal ingredients so you can still eat your favourite meals but without the sugar highs and lows.

I used to be like this, feel really shaky if I hadn’t eaten for a couple of hours and would always reach for a biscuit or a sugary snack. I now do intermittent fasting and don’t ever have that shaky feeling anymore. I generally eat between 11am and 7pm. It’s the easiest way of eating I’ve ever done and it has genuinely corrected my appetite as in the morning when I wake up I never feel hungry or shaky. It also stops me snacking in the evening as I don’t eat after 7pm. My DS is also very skinny so always have lots of treat type foods in but eating this way has really reduced my snacking. It’s also changed the way I think about food as previously when doing something like Slimming World anything with fat in it would be a no no but I would still be really hungry as lots of the recommended food was loaded with sugar or sweetener. Now I have higher fat food like cheese and eggs and feel much fuller eating food like this so don’t have those hunger pangs now and try and only eat when I’m genuinely hungry. I still eat proper meals with carbs, meat, veg etc so don’t deny myself anything really but just don’t snack as much.

First off, how much do you need/want to lose? Are you overweight or looking to lose vanity pounds?

I know the hunger you mention. I get that too. I can get so hungry I feel like I'm going to pass out if I don't eat something regularly. I absolutely hate doing any kind of diet that involves any kind of restriction at all. I'm not actively losing weight. I like to follow Slimming World because it helps me to eat healthy without focusing on tiny portions or cutting out foods. It can help you lose weight too.

I think you need to bite the bullet and make separate meals for you and DC. I'm used to this after living with an exceptionally fussy DH for 15 years. We used to work opposing shifts etc, so are used to cooking for ourselves. We will often sit down and eat the same thing together. Slimming world actually works quite well for my fussy DH too. And you can eat sausage and wedges on it! But other times I will have something like chicken or fish with a load of veg, while they have something else.

Diabetes UK doesn’t recommend 50% refined carbs. You’ve misread it. They clearly say those carbs should mostly come from veg with the rest from wholegrains. They recommend the meditterean diet actually but have advise for other low carb options too. Chocolate digestives and a your version of a ‘normal’ high carb diet will only make the diabetes worse long term.

As for your son - his meals will need to be seperate from yours and your DH

@Turquoisesea

I used to be like this, feel really shaky if I hadn’t eaten for a couple of hours and would always reach for a biscuit or a sugary snack. I now do intermittent fasting and don’t ever have that shaky feeling anymore. I generally eat between 11am and 7pm. It’s the easiest way of eating I’ve ever done and it has genuinely corrected my appetite as in the morning when I wake up I never feel hungry or shaky. It also stops me snacking in the evening as I don’t eat after 7pm. My DS is also very skinny so always have lots of treat type foods in but eating this way has really reduced my snacking. It’s also changed the way I think about food as previously when doing something like Slimming World anything with fat in it would be a no no but I would still be really hungry as lots of the recommended food was loaded with sugar or sweetener. Now I have higher fat food like cheese and eggs and feel much fuller eating food like this so don’t have those hunger pangs now and try and only eat when I’m genuinely hungry. I still eat proper meals with carbs, meat, veg etc so don’t deny myself anything really but just don’t snack as much.

I totally agree with this. I’m not a low carb evangelist by any means, but I’ve trained my appetite by opting for foods which don’t cause my blood sugar to drop. As an example, lots of people rave about porridge as a slow energy release breakfast, but if I eat porridge I am close to fainting by mid-morning. By contrast if I eat no breakfast, I can last till 2.00 before eating lunch if I need to. That shaky feeling isn’t hunger, if it was (and I say this kindly) you wouldn’t be struggling to fit into your trousers.

With regard to family meals, my son has similar issues. We tend to eat separately from the kids in the week which makes it easier, but when eating together I will have the same main but extra veg or some salad and a v small helping of starchy carbs. I’m honestly rarely hungry, maybe a day or so a month with hormone fluctuations when I’m unexpectedly ravenous, but it’s very much the exception rather than the rule for me now.

Have you asked your doctor for a dietician referral for your DH, DS and yourself?

If you did get professional advice would you listen to it?

Your DH's diabetes does not sound well managed. Has he got a pump?

@drspouse

Well, I thought someone might have helpful advice that, you know, actually helps and doesn't mean I'm eating a fad diet that's completely different to the rest of my family and against NHS advice. I forgot how evil carbs are according to Mumsnet.

What of you brought DH and DS their own snack boxes? So whatever DH has normally on his, seperate stash for DS. Would consciously going into their boxes mentally make you take a step back? You can put things like the peanut butter etc in there if you can't portion control it for yourself or you get some small typos wear and do yourself some portions.

Then when you're hungry you have a position of it on a oat cake or something. No extra lick of the spoon, or a cheeky spoonful.

No pinching the kids chocolates.

Could you batch cook yourself and DH things like slag bol and then just reheat it whilst you're doing DSs food?

DS lives on cheese on toast and a side that consists of sausage, pizza, beans, occasionally fish fingers and pasta bake but Def not pasta in pasatta so I feel you