Really need to get this sorted but DS needs to put on weight!

[drspouse]

For better or worse I end up doing a lot of the cooking but DS has ADHD and his meds reduce his appetite and he gets fussy so we've tended to eat main meals that are more calorific and/or kid friendly (he'd have sausages and wedges every day if he could).
DH is fine at good plain cooking (pasta, wedges plus something from the freezer).
And I get SO HUNGRY if I try to do without snacks. I try to make most of our own/get dried fruit and nuts/fresh fruit but I know some of that isn't always healthy.
But I would really like to fit into some of my trousers!
I tend to log most days on MFP and then despair after I've worked out the total.
What to do! DCs have school dinners but DS eats very little so we feed him up with toast/leftovers at supper time when his meds wear off. But he needs a substantial tea as well.

Increase your fat and protein intake, so your plate is 1 third protein, fat and carbs (remember vegetables are carbs). You'll feel fuller that way. Also switch to brown carbs, sourdough bread etc. Add Kerfir to your diet and switch all dairy to full fat

@RichTeaCheddars

I do a pasta bake with tuna or chicken and loads of veg hidden in. Half way through cooking I load one side up with grated cheese. I eat from the non cheese side and have a smaller portion with a side of salad or extra veg.

I'm with you on needing the carbs with dinner. If I don't have some I'm just not satisfied for long enough.

Eating from the side with no cheese is the saddest thing I've ever heard 😭

I think the thing is you all can eat from every food group so just think of different proportions for carbs/fat/ protein and different portion size of each thing.

For a main meal, I would think in terms of reducing added sugar and heavily processed meat. So potato/ sweet wedges are fine but you might only have 1 if you want to lose weight whereas your DH and DS would have more. You would have proportionally more of a low carb green veg/salad filling your plate. There are plenty of online calculators that will estimate protein portion size but think in terms of what would fit in the palm of each of your hands respectively. To put weight on protein will help build muscle and sugar will add to fat stores.

What foods do each of you like?

Remember, if you are grilling burgers you could as easily grill a piece of chicken for you alongside if you wanted to keep your fat levels lower. Celeriac is also good as a substitute for potato.

Perhaps an idea you currently do for the three meals a day op? And then what snacks you have.

Is your DD old enough to understand you three eat X because it's healthy and DS gets some of X plus some Y because of his meds? So yes he's allowed more chocolate but that's because you get yummy yoghurt etc??

Carbs should be from veg not pasta and bread...

To lose weight you need to be in a calorie deficient. There are good tools on the web to help you work out what your TDEE like this one tdeecalculator.net/

You don't need to cut out any food groups, heck you could eat a McDonald's a day as long are in a deficit you'd lose weight, would it be nutritionally beneficial, no but calories are law for weight loss (you could get in to the macros etc once you know what you are doing with a calorie deficit)

If you are consuming too many calories and not moving then you need to move more, a 1 hour walk 3 times a week in your fat burning zone would get that weight moving alongside a good food intake

You could also make the meals you all like and either cut your portion size or add a side salad/veg or bulk their dinners out with more calories so you're not eating lots of different meals.

Good luck

Carbs can be from either,@Horehound. You just have to think in and eat the right proportions for your individual dietary needs. For example I could and have lost weight whilst still eating bread and potatoes. They do have nutritional value (magnesium and b vitamins IIRC). I just limited my portion to a much smaller amount than a typical restaurant/pub portion.

I have a similar situation with a son who has adhd, picky and with a suppressed appetite due to medication. I also have a daughter who has a very good appetite, and I think would become overweight if she had too many snacks. I stay quite lean, for my sport.

What I do is give my son a very filling supper, when his medication wears off, that my daughter and I don’t eat. It’s usually a hot chocolate, toasted cheese sandwich, fruit and nuts. So he’s getting protein and calories.

For dinner we usually all eat the same thing, but in different amounts. My son will probably just have a lot of carbs and some protein. My daughter will have carbs and meat and some of the vegetables. I have a little of the carbs and a lot of vegetables and protein. If I make something my son won’t touch, I just make him a tuna wrap.

There are some foods I don’t want to eat, like sausages and pizza. If the children are having them, I just say I don’t like them and have something else. I don’t make a big deal and I don’t say it’s about the fat content.

I work full time and I don’t feel this approach is particularly onerous. I don’t think you can blame your own food intake on what people around you are eating.

I used to 'need' to snack until I reduced my carbs and sugar. What I thought was hunger was actually from the 'drop' from so much sugar. I reduced my carbs generally, and try to have my carbs as whole grains.

You also have to find your own resolve, there will always be environmental factors you can use as excuses not to reach your goal. The people who succeed in habit change are the ones who have the same habits regardless of the temptation.

No one is being so obtuse to suggest “mummy doesn’t eat on Tuesday” ffs, and no one suggested cutting out ALL carbs (especially for your DH) I re-read posts to check, so YOU’RE the one not reading properly. PPs gave great suggestions like roasting veg alongside the wedges and replacing a percentage of YOUR wedges with the veg,

with all due respect, your worry about your DD developing bad eating habits because she sees you “dieting” is offset by her seeing mummy “reaching for the biscuits” and uncontrolled snacking and being overweight.

You seem to have a mindset of “ny change to your diet is a “fad” .. cabbage soup, that god awful caynne pepper honey and water thing, these are fads. Reducing YOUR carb intake and increasing your protein and fat intake isn’t. It’s making changes to your current diet that are sustainable and nutritionally sound. You also seem to baulk at the thought of replacing a spoonful of pasta with vegetables or a side salad. Why? Just because your husbands diabetic diet means he needs lots of carbs doesn’t mean that you do! You can easily explain this to your daughter as I presume you do about your DS diet. “Daddy eats lots more pasta than mummy because of his diabetes, just like DS doesn’t eat xxx because of his ADHD” then explain this more age appropriate as she gets older.

Honestly it seems like you just don’t want to change. You want to carry on the same way without changing but to lose weight.. it’s impossible.

If you’re literally shaking and faint before you eat breakfast perhaps you need to speak to a GP, it sounds like deeper issues than normal hunger.

@Username642243 lol it really isn't sad. It's just an example of how to make one meal that is suitable for two different calorific requirements. Adjust as appropriate depending on the rest of the day's food.

[quote RichTeaCheddars]@Username642243 lol it really isn't sad. It's just an example of how to make one meal that is suitable for two different calorific requirements. Adjust as appropriate depending on the rest of the day's food.[/quote]
I know but we need fat and calcium, your bones will thank you for cheese!

@Username642243 I never said I didn't have any. That was one meal suggestion and a specific one to illustrate a point.

Sorry I don't mean to argue, I do generally worry about women and osteoporosis because they've avoided dairy, but I have no information or inclination to make assumptions on your or anyone else's circumstances or diet.

I was really skinny and picky as a kid OP (autistic), and my mum used to give me "build me up" milkshakes! As such, I came to recommend a modern equivalent - chocolate Huel which is filling, full of nutrients and tastes great.

Seeing that on the screen, I appreciate I sound like a bot, but I promise I'm not - they wouldn't post vigorously all over feminism boards (... or would they? )

Is it not healthier to teach your daughter that what people eat correlates to their needs? Hence everyone eating slightly different variations.

And I think you need to seriously think about what you are eating without getting defensive. Highly processed/refined will mess with blood sugar, if you can go for much more whole food based for both dinner and snacks you will likely find a huge difference. Although a calorie is a calorie from an energy unit, where that calorie is made up of hugely impact how your body reacts to it.

@Username642243 that's actually helpful though I'd probably want the opposite i.e. cheese for me and no cheese for DS.

@fluro yes that is about what we do but DS does eat some tea (almost no lunch) so we try and make it as friendly to him and his diet as we can. It's the meals that I make for everyone that can't be low fat/low calorie. So I can't give everyone pasta with a fat free veggie sauce, or cauliflower cheese made with Philly light instead of butter and cheese, or a fat free veggie curry (all great swaps but not for DS).

@Missreginafalange yep that's how it used to work for me but then came menopause/DS diet/hip injury.

@SleepingStandingUp nope, DD not that daft! He doesn't get extra sweet stuff though, not to the extent that DD gets yoghurt and he gets chocolate anyway. She doesn't mind that he gets supper after she's in bed.

I'm not going to bother answering people who are saying yet again that fasting is normal and nobody will notice.

So I can't give everyone pasta with a fat free veggie sauce, or cauliflower cheese made with Philly light instead of butter and cheese, or a fat free veggie curry (all great swaps but not for DS).

But you could, serve yourself a bit of the sauce but much less pasta and add a hefty side salad to your plate. You could serve yourself less of the cauliflower cheese but have some green beans and peas (frozen is very easy) with it on the side.

You're getting very offended op at people trying to give you the advice that you've asked for.
It's not 'mummy doesn't eat or 'mummy has to eat different foods'
Everybody in reality needs different diets for their body types or needs.
I do intermittent fasting because I gain weight so very easily my children know this but I also work out a hell of a lot so they know why my diet is mostly protein.( I may skip breakfast due to the intermittent fasting but I eat the amount of calories I should during the day with them).
Their father is a body builder but struggles to put on weight, so he eats literally 4 to 5000 calories a day! The dc also know why he needs his diet the way he does.
They also are aware that at the age that they are, their calorific and diet needs are different to ours.
It sounds like a lot of work but it isn't.. I only cook one meal a day, I simply add more veggies and protein to my portion, and their dad has a much bigger portion then will make himself some bagels or sandwiches etc to reach his calorie goals.
I'm confident my children won't have eating disorders because they are so aware of what their body needs and what can happen if they don't get it.
If you don't want to change a single thing about your diet then don't! But don't expect your body to change either.

I would suggest putting your intake through an app also so you can see macros and calories. I use one with my FitBit so it also calculates my daily calorie outtake with my activity. You can ensure a deficit and find which combos work best for you.

@pensivepigeon

I would suggest putting your intake through an app also so you can see macros and calories. I use one with my FitBit so it also calculates my daily calorie outtake with my activity. You can ensure a deficit and find which combos work best for you.

I use MFP. I did say that... I don't use it that consistently as in, I vaguely log most days but I sometimes forget some things/don't weigh as much as I should. When I do it accurately, it's usually over on fat, occasionally on carbs. I tried 6 weeks of plant-based food and I was always massively under on protein however hard I tried but over on carbs. I'm not normally over on carbs but occasionally (I am today but I had a slice of Christmas cake which even for me isn't a normal occurrence!)

(As in, it was only that 6 week period when the carbs were so high almost every day, not sure that made complete sense!)