Very overweight 4 year old

[DumbleDork]

Hi all.
I realise I may have in the wrong place but I’m desperate for some help.

My DD is 4 (just turned 4 in September) and is massively overweight. Her BMI puts her on the 99th centile. She’s 108cm and a whopping 24kg. At birth she was a fairly teeny 6lb 7oz.

The HVs get on at me about this a lot and she’s now age 5-6 clothes as she’s so podgy.

Obviously I don’t want to give her a complex and make her worry about weight at such a young age but something has to be done. I was advised to keep her weight the same as she grows so she finally catches up with her weight (if that makes sense). But her weight keeps going up and up and with her starting primary school in just under a year I want to get her to a healthy weight. Not just for health, though obviously this is priority, but so she’s not bullied for her weight and so she can do stuff as easily as the other kids.

Any ideas on how to go about this delicate subject?

Thanks all

What does she eat in a typical day?

Have you spoken to her doctor just to rule out any medical cause. Is she over eating, not getting any exercise. You could ask for a dietician referral, it's not a delicate issue, this is a health issue. Why do you think she is putting on weight.

Get her moving more and give her enough healthy filling food and less high fat/sugar foods. Don't talk to her about it at all, just make family-wide changes and stick to it.

Honestly OP now is the best and easiest time to get it under control. She is completely reliant on you for her food . So take control. Healthy portions balanced meals, no shit. She’s too young to buy her own sweets etc so you can control it all without her even knowing. Nip it in the bud now

She has either a weetabix with semi skimmed milk or scrambled egg on toast for breakfast, usually a ham sandwich, some wotsits and fruit for lunch and then for tea whatever we eat. Usually home cooked 6 times a week (curries, chillis, spag Bol, fish and chips. Always a veg with it) and either a takeaway or ready meal once a week. Snacks are usually fruit or crisps or cheese sticks. She drinks either milk, squash or water.

She’s at preschool 3 days a week whilst I work and she eats there and the menu is healthy and varied. We walk about a mile a day so not much but she plays outside with her dolly’s pram.

We haven’t visited the dr about her weight, purely because I thought if she was at big risk the HV would have said.

Her portions haven’t increased so no idea why she’s so podgy

I'll echo what MrsGrindah said. You are the one who buys her food and chooses what she eats so if you feed her with healthy food only then she'll lose weight, unless there's another issue. Are you giving her a lot of treats and fattening foods or is someone else? Does she run around and get exercise?

When she sees grandparents she gets treats but that’s only once a week at their house. They don’t bring it to ours

Ok, so I would look at portion size for family meals and cut out takeaway/ready meals. I would also go to the GP and look into a dietician referral.

From what you've said there I'd be suspicious of portion size... Maybe her portions are way too big? A four year old needs only tiny portions... Think a side plate, not even full.

I would keep an honest and detailed food diary, maybe the portions are too big.

My thoughts were portion sizes too. She uses one of them plastic kids cartoon character plates and is usually about 3/4 full. Is there a recommended daily calorie intake for someone her age? Can I self refer her to a dietician?

Thanks all. I was so worried id get flamed for this

Small changes - white bread into brown bread
More water less milk and squash
No crisps or cheese sticks instead breadsticks and if she doesn't ask for a snack then don't offer it
Slightly smaller portions - dish up as normal then take a tablespoon away

Up the exercise by taking a longer route home.
Don't bring up her weight with her. Do the changes but don't comment on them. Even if she loses weight make no comments. Don't let her weight define her self worth.

That’s what i don’t want either, I’ve always been overweight and am disgusted with myself and I’d hate her to go the same way

This website has a good visual guide to portion size:

www.infantandtoddlerforum.org/portion-sizes-table-2015

Based on that she’s massivly over eating then

You aren't alone in thinking like this. The other tip I was told with kids is never make them finish all the food on plate when they say they've had enough. If they leave a mouthful or two then that's fine, so many of us are trained to keep eating til its all gone regardless of our appetite. Good luck

Could she also take on a new activity on her/ your days off? Gymnastics,
dance, swimming.

I'm shocked at that portion size. It's way less than expected.

Don't worry OP it's easily done!! Portion sizes are so hard sometimes. I remember posting on here worrying that my DS was basically living off air, and when I was shown pictures of proper portion sizes I realised he was eating completely appropriate amounts and it was my judgement that was completely off.

I am also overweight myself and I know my portion sizes are too big (of my own oh so tasty homemade food that's just the way I like it...) turns out too much healthy food can add just as many calories as a takeaway, though a takeaway is usually more calorie dense!

Cut out the takeaways and ready meals and snacks and address portion size and bob's your uncle.

Go and see the GP and ask for a dietician referral. I'm a GP, I'd be happy to see a parent who is concerned about their overweight child and wants to make changes as most are in denial.

pretending Thankyou. I guess I’m surprised the health visitor hasn’t suggested it to be honest, as she has always made comments about her weight regardless of whether that’s why we’ve seen them or not.

What would seeing a dietician actually entail? I obviously don’t want to make it a big thing and make my daughter feel bad about this as it’s not her fault but mine as her mum as I’ve let it get this far. It’s sonething we need to tackle together though as my BMI is almost 35, though I’m waiting for slimming world on referral and am going to start couch to 5k alongside that

You could always go on your own with her height and weight. Would be more to educate you about portion size etc.

I think cooking low fat for all the family would be a good idea. At four, a typical portion might be a dessert spoon full of mash or 1-2 roast potatoes, dessert spoon of veg, 4-5 1cm note size cubes of meat. Or if a pasta dish 15 pieces of pasta in sauce. Less if you have meat or other things in it. If you are having things like fish and chips then it would be 1/4 of a fish in batter portion, 5 chips and a dessert spoonful of veg.

For lunch it would be half a sandwich (made with 1 slice bread) and half an apple. Or a boiled egg with half slice toast.

I don’t think you should withhold snacks, but it should be healthy things, like fruit and veg or rice cakes, popcorn or breadsticks.

Can you increase the veg portions and reduce the portions of other things?
Removing crisps and squash should also reduce calories dramatically as they are empty calories with no nutritional value.

wildboar those portions sound so tiny, she eats probably double that. Is it a case of feed her that and then just offer fruit and veg snacks if she’s still hungry (which knowing my girly she will be crying telling me she’s “so hungry”)

And to other posters, yes we could up the veg. She’s not a fan of potatoes at all in any form but loves rice and pasta. Only likes chicken as a meat on its own but will eat minced beef in a bolognese or chilli which I make from scratch.

We could start walking my 10 year old to and from school. That’s a mile each way though so not sure how many times a week it would be fair to make her walk that much at 4. My 10 year old is the polar opposite. 5 foot in height already and only 5 1/2 stone bless him

Hi,

For comparison my child is turning four in March and not overweight. Their usual day looks like this Monday to Friday as they’re in nursery everyday.

Breakfast - one weetabix with semi skimmed milk and a cup of milk. In a very small bowl. One weetabix fills it.
Lunch - whatever they have at nursery
Dinner - (quick meals) 1 x Linda McCartney veggie sausage, veg, gravy and mash or root veg mash / spaghetti hoops or beans on toast / pasta with homemade roasted veg sauce or pesto and veg / homemade soups and a roll / leftover roast dinner. If we are really short on time he will have an Annabelle Karmel freezer meal. For a Friday treat we share a pizza between us from the supermarket - again in a small bowl, smaller than a normal cereal bowl you get with a crockery set or we use a side plate.

He doesn’t eat crisps often and we don’t actually buy them in or sweets. He sometimes has a yogurt after dinner or an ice lolly, usually he doesn’t have anything at all.

At weekends we generally have a cooked lunch unless we are going out and then I’ll do a pack lunch where we may have crisps. Always fruit though or veg to snack on. If they’re hungry they will eat it. He only ever drinks milk, no squash and is a bit fussy with water but will drink it if there’s no milk. He is also partial to a gingerbread man and chocolate buttons!

I think you’re doing the right thing asking for advice and agree with other posters that if you make it a whole family tweak there won’t bw any difference. I’m overweight myself and growing up my mum was always on a diet. I don’t want my son to think any food is off limits, but to eat healthily and with moderation.

Definy see your GP for advice.

Good luck.