Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Original poster

Very overweight 4 year old

140 replies

DumbleDork · 03/10/2018 22:39

Hi all.
I realise I may have in the wrong place but I’m desperate for some help.

My DD is 4 (just turned 4 in September) and is massively overweight. Her BMI puts her on the 99th centile. She’s 108cm and a whopping 24kg. At birth she was a fairly teeny 6lb 7oz.

The HVs get on at me about this a lot and she’s now age 5-6 clothes as she’s so podgy.

Obviously I don’t want to give her a complex and make her worry about weight at such a young age but something has to be done. I was advised to keep her weight the same as she grows so she finally catches up with her weight (if that makes sense). But her weight keeps going up and up and with her starting primary school in just under a year I want to get her to a healthy weight. Not just for health, though obviously this is priority, but so she’s not bullied for her weight and so she can do stuff as easily as the other kids.

Any ideas on how to go about this delicate subject?

Thanks all Smile

OP posts:
ItWentInMyEye · 04/10/2018 12:19

Do little things like making fruit kebabs with her etc. My kids always found this fun Smile

Original poster
DumbleDork · 04/10/2018 13:00

Well it’s been a fairly positive day. She had a weetabix with 100ml of semi skimmed milk and a small banana for breakfast, then we did the school run which clocked in at 3.2 miles (took an hour and a half but hey, at least she’s walking). Then she’s had water for her drink today. And hasn’t asked for food until lunch which was a wafer thin ham sandwich on one slice of white bread (will switch to wholemeal when we need to buy more) with carrot and cucumber sticks. I’ve got some strawberries for the kids after school snack as the eldest is always hungry.

She’s such a happy girl I don’t want to give her a complex.

I’ve added a photo of her lunch as I’m doubting portion sizes now Confused

Very overweight 4 year old
OP posts:
Foodylicious · 04/10/2018 13:09

Sounds like a good day, but O honk you should get proper advice and guidance from a dietician re how much to reduce her portion sizes too.
You wouldn't want to reduce too much too quickly.

Original poster
DumbleDork · 04/10/2018 13:14

No I realise that Smile due to work I can’t get her to a GP until Wednesday next week now as I wouldn’t want to use one of their emergency appointments today

OP posts:
EthelHornsby · 04/10/2018 13:14

Try and move over to Wholemeal bread? It’s more filling

LethalWhite · 04/10/2018 13:20

Looks about right!
She’s lucky to have you as a Mum OP Smile

LethalWhite · 04/10/2018 13:23

Also things like low sugar jelly and frozen yoghurt lolly’s can be very low in calories, and can be added to a lunch/dinner to add in some fun, kiddy foods so they never realise that they are being deprived!

Original poster
DumbleDork · 04/10/2018 14:24

She’s just asked to walk to school to get big bro. Another 3 miles!!! She will sleep well tonight that’s for sure Grin

OP posts:
Olderfatherofthree · 04/10/2018 16:30

She’s just asked to walk to school to get big bro. Another 3 miles!!! She will sleep well tonight that’s for sure grin

Excellent news!
Let's hope the weather stays decent for her!

NoHufflefucksGivenMugglefucker · 04/10/2018 16:32

Your doing great. It’s habits like that that last a lifetime. Make it fun, take the scooter/play eyespy/ count the card/ see how many of each thing you can find incase she gets bored of it.

HeartburnCentral · 04/10/2018 16:47

There are portion size plates you can buy, which give you the correct portion size for food. Keep an eye on hidden sugar, carbohydrates and fat content in foods. A lot of processed foods have sugar added. If some activities are unsuitable, you could get her a scooter or bike for Christmas (I picked up a bike on a local selling site). I put on music and encourage the kids to dance/move around. It's good fun and gets them moving. We go to the local park at weekends for a walk.

Original poster
DumbleDork · 05/10/2018 14:52

Today so far hasn’t been so positive.

I’ve asked for her to not have seconds at lunch at preschool like she often does. When I collected her she told me she’s mad at me for this. How do I explain it’s for her own good without making it a big deal?

OP posts:
OuchLegoHurts · 05/10/2018 15:02

I think you might have to explain about the importance of "getting healthy" rather than losing weight. But make it a bit of a game, maybe with reward charts etc. And show her that you're in it with her, you're all trying to be healthier

thingtwoandthingone · 05/10/2018 15:33

I could have written your post a few years ago! DD1 was always much higher on the weight than the height in the charts when small and by age 3/4 was between 97-99% on the NHS bmi calculator. At Primary school, we got a letter telling us she was overweight. I knew I wanted to try and do something, and so through trial these are some of the things I did. DD is now aged 8.5 and she is 60th percentile on the BMI NHS calculator, so it has worked to some extent. She is a completely different build to her siblings so I don't know if this is where she will stay....does anyone have any opinions?
Anyway, the things I did which you may want to try (some of my friends think I am completely crazy doing some of these things so maybe not what you want to do)...

  1. Not ever asking her to finish her meal. If she is full she can stop eating. A very different way to how I was brought up.
  2. Not using food/treats as a reward. Not using food as punishment (e.g. removing treats)
  3. Drinking only water. No milk/juice/squash. I always make sure water is available so she doesn't mistake thirst for hunger.
  4. No snacks (except a snack at school which is usually veg/houmous, cheese or fruit, small amount). She doesn't really eat her meals if she snacks, which was annoying especially if I took a long time preparing!
  5. No sugar added to food. The whole family eats far less at breakfast now the porridge has no sugar, and toast no jam. She now has seeds to decorate porridge, eggs, toast (only wants max 1 slice), plain yogurt with berries etc.
  6. Treats are collected up and on Sunday we will have one treat each (e.g. ice cream at grandparents, or a fun sized choc)
  7. I don't restrict at meals, but try to limit carbs so she doesn't have too much in one meal. First serving not too large. Small plates
  8. No puddings except small piece of fruit (e.g. one satsuma)
  9. Exercise every day. She has now fallen in love with gymnastics so easier now as she just practices in the garden when bored.
  10. However, when on a playdate or at a party she can do what the other kids do

She's now quite used to this and doesn't really bother with treats or snacks and I don't think minds at all. This is just what we do. However, I know this probably sounds ridiculous to lots of people whose kids are "normal" sized!!
One last thing, I found I really wasn't very good at looking at her and guessing her size. She looked normal to me then and she looks normal to me now. Friends seem to agree....

finn1020 · 05/10/2018 15:51

You’re not a crap mum, you’re doing your best to help your daughter. I do echo what other posters have said, portion size is important. A small child should eat nowhere near an adult portion. Carbs - bread, potatoes, rice - they’re not necessary to have with every meal and too much can also stack on the weight. You can also try substitutes - one we all like is califlower broccoli rice which is a great substitute for rice.

AssassinatedBeauty · 05/10/2018 16:02

I wouldn't ask her to not ask for seconds at pre school. The food they will be giving should meet nutritional requirements and be in the right sized portions. Concentrate on the food in your control and on the amount of activity she's doing.

NoHufflefucksGivenMugglefucker · 05/10/2018 22:43

Yeah I agree, I wouldn’t tell her not to have seconds. At her age I don’t think making her aware that you are watching what she eats is a good idea. I doubt the nursery would let her have ridiculous amounts extra

Original poster
DumbleDork · 08/10/2018 10:01

I’m really struggling with this ☹️ It’s so bloody hard. She’s such a high spirited girl and telling her no and trying to get her to understand why is difficult. She’s lost 1lb in a week which I think is fairly decent BUT we are having tears and tantrums every day from her. There has to be an easier way.

OP posts:
Peridot1 · 08/10/2018 11:01

Don’t try to get her to lose too much. Even if she is quite big for her age a pound is a lot for her to lose really. She will be growing as well. Let her catch up. If she gets too hungry you are setting her up for problems in the future. Gradually reduce portions and switch to healthy stuff. Keep the activity up. She will get there.

Protein will fill her up more than carbs so make sure she has protein with each meal and snack.

BeeMyBaby · 08/10/2018 11:17

I agree with perido, a lb is a lot for a small child in just a week and can be a tipping point in bmi centiles. I would take it much slower so that she's not obviously feeling really hungry and miserable but keep up all the exercise you've added.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 08/10/2018 11:19

Cut the crisps and takeaways!!!

Original poster
DumbleDork · 08/10/2018 11:22

snobbymiddleclassone already have. Haven’t had them this week. It’s the fall out from no snacks, smaller portions etc I’m struggling with today as she’s struggling too

OP posts:
Peridot1 · 08/10/2018 11:28

Don’t let her go hungry. She can have snacks once they are healthy. And not too much obviously.

Conseulabananahammock · 08/10/2018 11:29

Please ask a medical professional. If you are cutting food Down you run the risk of leaving her without enough!! She's 4 years old. A little puppy fat that is monitored is not the end of the world. As long as she is active and happy. Don't make her relationship with food unhealthy at this age please. She may get a growth spurt and even out. 4 is far too young for a diet !

Pitapotamus · 08/10/2018 11:35

Perhaps it’s partly her genetic make up which is going to mean you need to be more vigilant about portion sizes / exercise than you might need to be with the “average” child. My 4 year old eats way more “junk” than your dd because he goes to grannie’s house twice a week! And he has much bigger portions than those recommended on the link up thread. He doesn’t drink any milk though because he doesn’t like it.

Our kids are really active though. They go swimming twice a week and I think that uses a huge amount of energy. Might be worth giving swimming a go. We try and go to the park after school at least once a week and they play tennis once a week. In the meantime they spend a lot of time outside in the garden pottering around.

We don’t have a trampoline but I’ve always thought trampolines seem like they must use up a lot of energy, some kids seem to spend hours on them bouncing around! Maybe that’s another option.

Swipe left for the next trending thread