Very overweight 4 year old

[DumbleDork]

Hi all.
I realise I may have in the wrong place but I’m desperate for some help.

My DD is 4 (just turned 4 in September) and is massively overweight. Her BMI puts her on the 99th centile. She’s 108cm and a whopping 24kg. At birth she was a fairly teeny 6lb 7oz.

The HVs get on at me about this a lot and she’s now age 5-6 clothes as she’s so podgy.

Obviously I don’t want to give her a complex and make her worry about weight at such a young age but something has to be done. I was advised to keep her weight the same as she grows so she finally catches up with her weight (if that makes sense). But her weight keeps going up and up and with her starting primary school in just under a year I want to get her to a healthy weight. Not just for health, though obviously this is priority, but so she’s not bullied for her weight and so she can do stuff as easily as the other kids.

Any ideas on how to go about this delicate subject?

Thanks all

Not an ounce of fat...

This is the problem going on bmi and centiles they don't necessarily reflect individual cases

I wouldnt make too many changes all at once amd i wouldnt focus on low fat - young children need fat soluble vitamins. I would cut portions and snacks and hugely increase her activity levels rather than switch to hummus and wholemeal overnight.

Kids imo shouldn't really be sitting down much at all but girls are taught to sit more, often by grandparents and school rather than parents imo. Get out her skipping rope and kick a ball around, if she moans shes hungry then hoosh her out of the door with a firm 'think about something else, can you dribble that basketball up the road'?

well he looks pretty chunky in that second picture

That's my six year old.....

And I can assure you my youngest sees paeds on a regular basis for health issues and not one of them has even suggested hes overweight. You seem pretty over invested in how obese my child may be

Hi,

Maybe try to cut down portion sizes that are carb heavy and fill it up with more fruit and veg? Also what kind of protein are you cooking? Chicken and Turkey would be most lean.

Also maybe an activity together would be good? A walk, swimming, karate classes?

It's such a difficult thing to contend with as obviously you want her to maintain her weight but don't want her to starve either!

My 2 year old barely eats and I am constantly trying to feed her and fatten her up. It's never easy either way!

Good luck

Can I ask how tall your daughter is? Is she also on the higher end of the chart?

Over fed children tend to be taller, as the extra food drives growth. If her height was static or falling, I’d take her to the gp, as sometimes hormonal problems can be he problem.

If she’s tall/growing well, it’s amlomst certainky portion size. My 3 year old eats much more crap than your 4 year old -she’ll have a treat eg an ice cream or small chocolate bar a day usually. But she’s on the slimmer side, weight 25-50th centile as she isn’t always hungry. She often leaves food at meals (food that she enjoys, just doesn’t want it), and I tend not to offer her any snacks unless she either asks for something specific (I want an ice cream mummy - I’m a pushover ) or asks for porridge, which is her version of saying she’s hungry.

A child’s stomach will be around the size of their fist. I aim for a bit bigger than this on a plate which looks tiny, but she often leaves some. I wonder if you’ve got into the habit of dishing up the same portion as her older brother?

Good luck OP, you sound lovely and this is sortable.

I thought that the rule of thumb for weight checking in children was that you should be able to see their ribs even when they are not stretching, where as an adult I guess you can only see them if they stretch (or at least that's the only time I can see mine, haha).
Although walking is the best exercise at 4 it's tough- does she have a scooter? My children would have moaned their heads off if I'd tried to make them walk miles each day but they always happily scooted for a few miles each day and it was more of a game plus it meant we could walk quickly rather than going at snails pace which tires me out. That way you could accompany your son to and from school everyday which means it will become a proper habit rather than an occasional inconvenience that will probably involve moaning from her and make her dislike exercise.

Just add that some of it really is down to genetics.
Not to say we can't change it, but it's harder.
For contrast my 4yr old was 6lb 15oz st birth. Is now 100cm tall and 2stone 4lbs.

I feel like I have to constantly feed him up to stop him wasting away!

Breakfast is often toast (sometimes 2 dlices) and cereal or a banana. Might have a couple of brioche instead of toast.

Lunch is sandwich, mini cheese, fruit 1-1 1/2 peices) and maybe half pack of crisps if we are having some

Dinner is 2 sausages/3 fish fingers/1 small chicken breast, usually with pasta or chips, and veg.

Pudding & snacks on an average day might include a yoghurt and a small cake (like mr Kipling) and another piece of fruit.

I think it's about learning what is the right amount of food for each individual child.

I would def see GP or just ask your HV to refer you to the dietician

Could these help with portions maybe?

We have some and sone snack plates too

Top right pasta/carb.
Bottom protein (
Top left veg

www.amazon.co.uk/Munchkin-Apple-Shaped-Toddler-Plates/dp/B00QTXZO62/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1538639130&sr=8-1-spons

OP her height is on the 88th centile. So although 99th for weight sounds alarming, the difference isn't huge.

If you have a child who over eats / really likes their food it's hard...my 9 year old is the size of a 12 yr old.very tall ,his brothers are 6 foot 4 ..but he's fat ,he's got fat on his back and tummy..I've cut out all biscuits/ crisps / junk..it's fruit or yougurt for dessert and no snacks...I know it's my fault he's put on weight .i buy the food...so I stopped buying it (junk) a while a go ,and I'm determined to slowly get his weight back to normal..he's autistic and seems to need to eat all the time..plus he's not in school.so it's a constant battle,but one I'm dertermined to win..good luck op x💐

Definitely the best thing to do is to address it now so well done for that.

For your self - slimming World Isn’t great to be honest. Works for some I know but the free foods and syns message is really not good. Have you heard of My Fitness Pal? It’s a free app and you track your calories. I know lots of people who have switched to it from SW and are amazed at how many calories they were eating on SW. There is a very supportive Facebook group too - My Fitness Pal UK.

Adding in extra walking with your DD will help you loads too. C25K is great but as they say don’t try to run before you can walk! A high BMI means you will be putting more stress in your knees. I tried it and damaged my knees. I’m currently walking instead and will try C25K again when I’m lighter.

Does he look overweight to you?

Yes - very.

Kids get their height from their genes, their weight from their environment.

Fat is often stored about internal organs by the way, not necessarily round the middle spate tyre.

well your 6 year old is also overweight. I'm genuinely perplexed as to why you would be so nonchalent about your children being so overweight. I'm guessing this is a prime example of how people really don't see it in their own children

OP, no one has touched on your relationship with food, which I suspect might not be positive? At your DD's age, I would suspect she's possibly picked up on some of this already.

It might be worth working how your approach food and weight and that might be enlightening?

Bit left field and not at all wording well, but our whole world is often programmed to see food as a treat (buns on birthdays etc), or comfort, or a stress relief and it's everywhere.

Just a thought. And meant well.

Titchy there is no way those children look very overweight.

In Scandinavia (I think Denmark but can’t remeber exactly) theyvtried an approach to tackle child obesity - they brought in different fruits and vegetables and got the children excited about them, e.g this lemon is sour, if you lick it it makes your face scrunchy, and this beetroot makes your tongue pink. So focusing excitement around food on healthier foods, and the children went home and asked their parents to buy them for them.

In the U.K., I think we assign positive feelings and excitement to ‘bad foods’ too much, so that healthy foods are seen as a chore. I know I do!

I think it’s a good idea to not ‘overvalue’ certain foods too much, I.e if you eat your carrots you can have an ice cream. It just teaches children that carrots are shot, and ice cream is the prize. When my daughter was a toddler I used to bing everything in the same plate - main meal, fruit, veggies, yoghurt, chocolate - so she wouldn’t know what the ‘best’ food was

Also those children don’t look very overweight.

You should be able to see a child’s ribs, so if you can’t then they probably could stand to slim a little, but they are hardly severely obese

OP before you panic I would double check you’ve worked out her BMI using the relevant child graph...I don’t want to sound patronising but a HV once told me off for my dd’s Weight being 91st centile when her height was 99th

I think walking her brother to school would be a fab habit to get into, especially if you’d like to lose weight too. Is there a park nearby you can stop off at on the way home? I find my kids eat more the less active they are, if they laze around the house they get bored and want to snack all day.

I think a dietician referral via GP would be a good shout, you don’t want to go cutting things out of a growing child’s diet without getting advice. (Apart from crisps/chocolate they can probably go!)

Thankyou primallass they definitely are not. They are very active and are regularly checked by paeds etc so I know there are no worries.so the posters that are insinuating they are overweight and I'm not noticing it and basically neglecting my children are of no real importance to me.

You can see both of their ribs and also they are both very tall. My youngest has size 8 feet the elder has size 12 feet. They are off the centile for every measurement! They are just stocky built kids. To me the real worry would be if weight affects how they are physically. Id they struggle with expercise walking etc this is when I would become concerned

So many more messages.

Ive a very love hate relationship with food too. Either stuffing myself or barely eating. And I’m 14 stone at 5’3 so not the best example to her.

But she’s quite tall for 4 I believe at 108cm. But I’ve no idea how this translates to her weight and the centile / bmi x