AIBU to want a gentler health/weight discussion

[argumentativefeminist]

Want to interact with others and get support/motivation for getting healthier and active, and in the process losing weight. But I absolutely don't want to hear any "diet culture", calorie counting or unhealthy disordered eating promotion. Surely I can't be the only one? Sometimes it seems like every thread I click on is just full of upsetting, unhelpful comments that sound like they could have been lifted from a thinspo website.

My slim healthy friend would definitely eat the pie, and drink the wine. Nothing wrong with celebration food when there’s something to celebrate, like getting together with friends. The key (I think) is not to eat that stuff every day.

I’ve had an ElspethFlashman-don’t-eat-unsatisfactory-ice-cream-out-of-habit™️ moment, but with a pizza. It wasn’t really doing it for me, so I only ate half. Victory.

Agatha I'm lucky to have a slim healthy best friend with a healthy sense of treating herself who has the same name as me and we've lived together for 2 years. It really does help you keep things in perspective. I think your key idea is spot on. Well done on the pizza btw! No point wasting tummy space on not so nice stuff 😂

Hi all,

I like the sound of this, as someone with a history of deprivation/binge cycling. I have PCOS, and as my weight is really high currently it's aggravating some really horrible symptoms. I'd like to get my BMI down from 33 to nearer to 25. I tried Slimming World and quite liked some of the concepts, but not some of the arbitrary rules and sweeteners, so I'm roughly following it from home.

I've recently discovered the joy of exercising after years of being too scared to go to classes and be the fat girl, so I need to keep up with that. And lots of protein as well.

It is hotter than hell so the obvious thing to do was decide to cook spicy pasta in my tiny, boiling house 🤣 sometimes #Oschaneedspasta

lego I have no qualms about being the fat girl in classes-who knows what everyone else looked like a month ago, or a year ago, or a decade ago! I don’t think people judge.

Welcome Lego 👋 I really hope you feel better soon - it's such a good start that you've found you enjoy exercise! Don't worry about being the fat girl in the class - I'm the fat girl everywhere I go and I still have a great time. Like Oscha said, most people tend not to judge - they're usually just getting on with their own lives!

That pasta looks amazing Oscha! I'm having dominos 😂 feeling much better than earlier though so I'm not stressing about it.

Thanks for the welcome! It's amazing how quickly my confidence has grown with a few exercise classes, and I'm quite happy to stand at the front so I can see what's going on.

Oscha that pasta looks lovely and if it's anything like London where you are the temperature is finally dropping.

argumentative - Dominos sounds amazing - enjoy!

I've got tandoori chicken breasts to go in the oven and was going to do some quick flatbreads and cucumber, onion and tomato salad and yogurt to go with - just need to summon the energy!

EAT THE APPLE PIE!!

I am full of takeaway and booze and DH let me buy an expensive weight belt today which is so good.

I really need it because my core muscles are separating so much

That sounds like a lovely dinner Lego!
Camel full of takeaway is such a good way to be. Hope you're feeling happier now 💕

Just wanted to say thank you to all you lovelies for your support and guidance, it's really helpful and it means a lot 🌟

It seems I really have no idea what normal people would eat on a weekend with guests. Do they eat the apple pie? Or not? No flipping clue!

Elspeth I wouldn’t suggest I am, by any stretch, ‘normal’ , but I am slim and have once been slim and fit and strong and I would absolutely eat the pie, drink the wine, and make everyone scrambled egg and garlicky mushrooms the next morning, if that’s any help? Really hope you ate the pie if you wanted to!

Swam in the rain in a stormy sea today - water like grey-green ink and great ragged bruise coloured clouds over me, and the lighthouse flashes visible because it was gloomy, and the smell of stirred up water: seaweedy and wild. So invigorating, and made me feel my own insignificance in a lovely, reassuring way. Then back to normality with hot tea and a big bowl of pasta and pesto.

Very gothic description Verbena, sounds like something out of the Regency women's writing I've been studying today 😂 glad you had an amazing swim. I've always liked feeling my own insignificance in a nice way like that. In the grand scheme of things, most of the stuff we waste our happiness on worrying about really doesn't matter 5 or 10 or 500 years from now.

Ooooo love a bit of wild swimming. I like diving in and immersing myself in the murky cold-ness

It’s so nice!

Well I had the apple pie, but then later also had way too much wine and loads of peanuts. Put it into MFP and "Snacks" was something like 1,200 calories.

This is how we get fat!

So goals for today: moderate portions and some exercise. (We have to re-felt the shed roof, will that count??? )

And no wine and no snacks!

I think you’ll be ok if you don’t actually eat the roof felt.

At least you enjoyed the pie!

Doing the shed roof sounds like great exercise, and rewarding too - I love a bit of stealth exercise.

The outdoor swimming sounds fabulous!

I've just cancelled my lunchtime HIIT class as I was feeling pretty dizzy yesterday, think a combination of TOTM and the heat as well as vertigo flaring up. But I'll try and do some more gentle exercise.

Going to do an omelette and bacon medallions for Saturday breakfast

Morning morning lovelies! 🌟 Good luck with the shed Elspeth and, actually, well done on allowing yourself some treats! It would have been easy to deprive yourself and start up an unhealthy mindset. I think the shed definitely counts as exercise, I'm sweating just thinking about it, but that's mostly my fear of being off the ground 😂

Lego what a classic Saturday breakfast - hope you enjoy! And I hope you feel better soon. Jessicasmithtv on YouTube has an under the weather workout, which is quite gentle and not too fast paced, I haven't done it yet but it looks good!

Enjoying the slight breeze where I am today - still hot but less muggy. Trip to town for Primark today, leftover pizza for lunch, then to Aldi to stock up on veg etc. Will hopefully fit some yoga in.

33:55! 33:55!!!

First ever Park Run and I knocked nearly 6 minutes off my PB. Am absolutely delighted!

Oscha that's amazing!! Did you have a good time?

I spent the entire time thinking ‘this is hell, why am I doing this, I hate past me for deciding to do this, what an idiot’ 🤣🤣🤣 but felt great the second it was over!

Well we got up, cleared the garden, put up a bouncy castle and we are just about to start cleaning the house and making party food!!

So very busy today and I am not sad we are having bacon for breakfast

Literally my thought process every time I exercise Oscha 😂

Hope the little Camels have a great party! And that you get to pinch the best bits of party food 😂

Had McDonald's for lunch even though I have leftover dominos for tea 😣 it was yummy though and I'm feeling amazing today so I'll just have another treat day today and start fresh with healthy eating tomorrow when we've been to the shops.

Got a gorgeous grey check jacket today that makes me feel like a 20 something media type running across Whitehall with her phone in one hand and a lipstick stained Starbucks in the other - the dream aesthetic. 😂

Ah AF I felt like someone in a gothic novel - have you heard/read the play ‘Blood and Ice’ by Liz Lochead? It’s about Mary Shelley writing Frankenstein and is bloody brilliant, if that sort of thing is your cup of tea.

elspeth doing the roof is definitely exercise and is also proper functional purposeful movement 👍🏼

camel hope the party’s been a joy!

oscha GO GO GO!!!! Well done you!!! (Bad running envy here)

Ooh Verbena I'm actually studying Frankenstein next semester so I might seek that out, thank you!

Just done 30 minutes "chest shoulder opening" yoga in the garden without any animals assisting which is a rarity! The breeze was so lovely. Feel like I moved my body for good and happiness, rather than out of obligation/guilt.

Hi Ladies, hoping I can join you -though I’m on a couple of weight loss threads already. I’ve managed to lose almost 1.5 stones mainly with SW, but like others have said they’re lots of things I don’t agree with, especially the focus on low fat alternatives & too many free foods which are carb heavy. Just read through your thread & you’ve inspired me to quit! (SW that is)

I’ll still keep some of the ideas, but adapt it slightly - I mainly want to be fit and healthy, but if I can lose some more weight (& save myself a fiver a week) in the process, that would be great. I’ve also been obsessing & weighing myself twice daily (sometimes more 🙈) which I seriously need to stop, so a more relaxed approach sounds great. I left the scales at home this week as I’m away. Planning lots of walking/hiking. Also had a Cornish pasty & chocolate eclair for lunch (with only slight feelings of guilt) and it was yummy!

I loved your description of the sea @Verbena - very poetic. I will look out for the play. Hard to believe that Mary Shelley wrote ‘Frankenstein’ at such a young age.