AIBU to want a gentler health/weight discussion

[argumentativefeminist]

Want to interact with others and get support/motivation for getting healthier and active, and in the process losing weight. But I absolutely don't want to hear any "diet culture", calorie counting or unhealthy disordered eating promotion. Surely I can't be the only one? Sometimes it seems like every thread I click on is just full of upsetting, unhelpful comments that sound like they could have been lifted from a thinspo website.

Camel - Sounds like it was a productive day all in all! Happy Birthday to babyCamel 💕💕 I haven't watched Glow but I like the look of it so maybe I'll give it a go!

Verbena go go go! 🏊‍♀️🏊‍♀️ That salad sounds lovely too, I might pinch that one!

So I had the icecream. But I am annoyed with myself as it was around 9.30 and DH was getting one and said "will I bring you back one?" and I didn't stop to even analyse whether I actually wanted one. I just went "sure" and as I bit into it I realised I didn't want it at all, really. And it wasn't that nice - cheap Aldi ones. But what was I supposed to do, throw it in the bin? That would be insane! So I ate a not-nice ice cream that I didn't even want.

Oh well, Rome wasn't built in a day! This whole mindful eating is HARD when you've had a lifetime of automatic piggery.

I also had two glasses of red wine but I don't regret those at all as they were lovely. That's all I'm going to have this weekend though.

Goal for this weekend : proper exercise both days. It's going to be challenging as the kids seem to just want to have a chilled day at home and DH wants to get stuck into the garden. May have to resort to YouTube on the big telly again.

Afternoon all. I'm just back from a brunch fry up, so haven't really covered myself in glory BUT didn't eat any sweet foods this morning (I have a problem with mid morning snacking on pastries) and am planning on not eating again until dinner.

Automatic piggery is indeed hard to overcome, which is why I need baby steps and am glad to have found this thread.

Hope you manage to get your exercise in Elspeth - I did the exact same with a subpar ice cream last night, but all in all had an amazing funny evening with my mum and sister, so I'm focusing on that instead.

We're glad you found us too Agatha - I'm very much at baby steps too. Nearly a month since I started properly eating healthier though so that's something! I'm also partial to a mid morning pastry, you're very much not alone in that 😂

If only it were the one pastry...

Well done on the (almost) one month anniversary! The reason I'm doing this the gentle route is that otherwise I hit the 6 week mark and it all goes to shit in a choux bun. Hopefully on our cheery and gentle journey we'll be in it for the long haul. Have you noticed much of a difference in how you feel? I'm very sick of the self-loathing and waking at four am with anxiety about how my diet will shorten my life.

Thank you Agatha! I do feel better in myself, but then I never really had a lack of self confidence to start with, which I think has helped. I do find I have less anxiety about my health now which used to be a big problem. I'm finding it a bit difficult thinking "if I get slim I'll lose a big part of my identity" because I've always been proud of my body and embraced being fat, but I'm working on that.

How old are you, AF? I’ve never been hugely confident weight-wise but since I’ve had a child and hit mid 40s I no longer get away with voluptuous and fecund, I feel old and slumped and tired. Yuck!

20 and no kids which probably plays a part! It's definitely not the same experience as some of you ladies have, my body hasn't ever changed massively. But I'm glad that I love it the way it is 💕💕

Morning morning lovelies! 💕 How is everyone getting on?

I love that salad Rec might make later

I had the light head again so just had toast and almond butter .

And yesterday made courgette and pasta salad for 2 days and are the whole lot ! Yay

I am kid free so am going to try some gentle yoga or exercise videos so any you tube rec appreciated

AF so young and peachy! I am mid 40s and whilst bearing well I saw I had wrinkly shoulders . WTF

stop definitely young, not sure about peachy! I'm working on my squats 😂😂

I love Jessica Smith videos, she does exercise, cardio, strength, and also yoga and stretching!

Holly fuck, AF, I'm old enough to be your saggy ma! Late 40s here, shoulders are wrinkle-free, stop, but my neck has gone this year and has the look of a large column of spam that someone has left out in the sun. I sometimes worry that losing weight will make it look even worse, but at least thin people look good in polo necks.

Agatha I'd be proud to call you my saggy ma 💕😂

I’m 34!

Just celebrated my last babies 1st birthday. AF will you have babies?

99% sure not Camel! But never say never I suppose! Hope your little love had a good day 🌟

AF I think it’s nice when you realise your identity is not defined by the shape or weight of your body. Thin AF will be just as warm and kind and valid as fat AF, as will any-size-in-between AF. How our bodies look isn’t the same as who we are.

Last couple of days in edited highlights...

Kayaking with my (much more capable than I am!) nieces and nephews

Sea swimming every day

Lots of walking

Carrot, ginger and hazelnut salad with lemony dressing.

You're the salad Queen Verbena, that sounds gorgeous! Sounds like an amazing and varied range of exercise too. Thank you, genuinely, so much for your lovely thoughts about identity, it's very true.

Rather large falling out with my dad from this hellish weekend, so I feel like it'll be hard to avoid emotional eating this week. But I'll do my best! 💕

Elspeth I’ve done exactly that with food.

Now I try and be mindful and never over eat even if I feel it’s wasteful.

Tomorrow I’m walking across my city because the car is in for her MOT... please wish me luck!!

Have a lovely walk camel

No worries AF, and sorry you’ve had a falling out with your dad. Hope it all blows over soon. (I’m not the salad queen by the way; I’m staying with friends and one of them is AMAZING in the kitchen so I’m gratefully scoffing the results!)

It’s a walk of necessity, I have to get my car MOT’d so I’m walking back from the garage. I’m quite worried about it and how much it will cost me

Good luck Camel! Hopefully it'll all be fine and not too expensive, my fingers are crossed for you!

Today's agenda is breakfast, 30 minutes of back strength yoga to stretch everything out from a long car journey, and then 25 minutes of cardio broken into a 15 minute legs bums and tums video and a 10 minute all over cardio video. And then lie around for the rest of the day complaining about being too hot! It's unbearable!

Good morning to all. You seem to be doing a lot more exercise than me, I think I'm taking the "gentle" aspect of this a little too literally.

I know we're not weighing, but just casually mentioning that I am 3lb nearer to my goal after this first week.

Today is an exercise busy day for me Agatha! It's not normally like this. I dont do any exercise apart from dog walks and maybe a stretchy yoga on Wednesdays or the weekend, and only swimming on Thursdays. So I have a couple of busy days each week, but I promise it isn't like this every day 😂 I'm glad you feel like you're making progress! Are you feeling better in yourself?

Oh camel, cars are a bugger for eating big lumps of money! Hopefully it’ll be cheap and easy.