Weight loss by being kind to ourselves? *title edited by MNHQ*

[millifiori]

Holidays over. I have had my body weight in ice-creams, chips, pasties, burgers etc and though we walked about 5-10 miles most days, I'm heaviest ever.

I know I am useless at diets - they make me dizzy and weak and grumpy.

Does anyone fancy trying to lose weight with a shift of mindset? Doing loads of treat-like things that aren't food based. Eating really healthy foods we also happen to love, Being nice to ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally and socially etc. Taking exercise because it's good self care etc?

If anyone wants to try this, join in here for chat.

Today I walked back from shops with (superfit and skinny) DS1. 3 miles. This afternoon, I'm going for a walk with DS2. Going to have some salad for lunch now because I like salad, not because it's rabbit food.

Anyone else?

Steala - that's a brilliant list of treats for the week. Thank you so much.

It's three weeks now. I've lost 2lb. not loads, but this is with a zero dieting mentality.

Just going to recap for new people if they don't have time to go through the whole thread.

Instead of dieting, eat healthily and concentrate hard on what makes your body feel strong and healthy and nourished.
Drink water.
Instead of comfort eating and bingeing, take good care of yourself physically and emotionally. We take it in turns to post a week's worth of treats and self care suggestions.
These include things like:
beauty treatments - paint your nails, have a long soak, face mask, etc at home or get your brows/nails/hair done if you have time & money.
Make things, get into crafting or get back into a hobby you used to enjoy, read.
Get outside - walk, run, bike, garden.
Do happy silly stuff: watch your favourite you tube and Ted videos, play your favourite upbeat music and comedy shows.
Wear colour and add colour to your life.
Treat yourself to healthy food treats like fresh berries even if they are expensive (they're not as expensive as take aways)
Do something new or different every day.
Journal/daydream/sort a bucketlist/build Pinterest pages - get involved in how you want to be living for the better - regardless of your current weight.

Thanks for the recap Milli
Seeing the bit about buying berries. I always have them in but never eat them as they won't last the week for the kids if I do. I'm going to stop marytring myself to the kids, and have a small portion each time I give them some. Anyone else do this?

6000 steps today, 10,000 looks unlikely for today. Try again tomorrow

Bazzinga, I buy frozen berries most of the time. That way if no one wants them for a day or two they don't go to waste. Not as nice as fresh if you eat them on their own but gorgeous in porridge, on muesli or overnight oats and fine in greek yoghurt too. Frozen raspberries or strawberries mixed with banana and milk make a brilliant smoothie/milkshake. No need for added sugar.

Hi all!

I've just stumbled across this thread and it's exactly what I need right now. I'm the biggest I've ever been but am so disillusioned about diets that I can't/won't stick to anything 'set', I just fall spectacularly off the wagon within days if not hours

I love the sound of how you're all doing things, focussing to on doing the right things that'll make your body feel good.

I am successful across lots of areas of my life and food/my body feels like my Everest sometimes. I feel awful at the moment, so unfit and uncomfy in my clothes. Here's to changing that. I'm very much looking forward to following some of these principles if you'll have me?

Bazzinga invited me to join you, I hope that's OK. Though I can't promise to be able to do a treat a day - life is busy so I don't get much time to myself.

I'm a comfort eater, but as someone pointed out on my thread it doesn't actually comfort me, and needs to stop. My diet is reasonably healthy bar all the junk from comfort eating. When I feel low I reach for cake, crisps etc.

Waves to everyone especially newbies @colonelgoldfish and @embarassedcomforteater all welcome here, we are a friendly and inclusive group!

Great list @steala thank you!

I love the idea of going back to being 11, I was also a keen roller-skater- I have some skates and keep meaning to take them out for a spin, maybe this will be the week! I think I will also make a list of times I felt calm as this is a big trigger for me. I'm not a sad-eater but I often find I'm run ragged and tired and grab quick sugary food for energy. I'd like to find some calm before I get that stressed!

I did start to write a catch up post last week but had an Internet fail and lost it. It was great to see everyone's colourful salads!
Haven't managed to catch up since as everything has been crazy and stressful (including financial woes and family members in and out of hospital...what a week!)

So slightly late: I wore red and purple (like in the poem!) and had paprika on my potatoes and spinach in my omelette for colour; emailed the local nature reserve about helping out at weekends and helped a friend in crisis move house for my supporting other people. I didn't manage to eat the nicest version of the food I love but maybe I'll combine that with this week's mindful eating!

I'm also aiming for 10,000 a day... Maybe I'll go out and walk around the block to get my last 1000 today!

I love frozen berries

welcome colonel and embarassed
Masonbee - that's a brilliant set of treats.

Hi everyone

I've read through the thread and you are all doing really well and its very inspiring. Do you weigh in weekly? When do you weigh yourself?

I have spent this entire year trying one diet after another and I am now the heaviest I have ever been. I feel like such a failure, I don't know what's wrong with me, why can't I do it? Over the last few months I have gone through a break up, been ill and I am in a very stressful and unhappy job but can't find anything else. I feel like I have no time to focus on me and the situation with work I can't change at the moment so I am really struggling. I am huge and feel miserable. I keep waiting for something to 'click' in my head so I rediscover my motivation but its not happening....I would really appreciate any tips from you on how you have been able to make a positive change.

xx

I think how we do it - Gemi33 - is really an individual thing. I might weigh myself occasionally, but other times not at all for weeks or months. The main focus is trying to feel well and look after myself.

I also think if you are ill (I have a chronic illness) are stressed or unhappy or past 40 (in my case 50) these do make staying a healthy weight more challenging. A strict diet on top of that can play more havoc with your metabolism as well as leaving you feeling hungry, irritable and 'deprived'. I think thats where being kind to yourself, taking care of yourself, and appreciating yourself all come into play - as absolutely the best thing you can do for yourself. Weight loss, if it comes, is just a by-product of that. I know its hard though. I was in M&S yesterday and tried a jumper on and I thought 'oh no', but other days are fine and getting better.

Well done Milli for your weight loss though. For some people that might be slow, but I think it sounds really good. As is often the case the faster people loose weight the faster people put it back on, plus more likely to have lost muscle rather than fat, and damaged their metabolism in the process!

p.s. agree re. comfort eating, I think just trying to have more awareness is very helpful. If we fall off the wagon 'cos of old habits, I think just best to move on and learn if we can.

Hope people have a good week. I'm going to be trying to rest a bit more, as have overdone things a bit the last couple of weeks.

I think we have been Conditioned into thinking 2lb a week is a good target.

We didn't gain it that fast. It's unrealistic to think losing that fast is sustainable

Hi @Embarrassedcomforteater. So glad you found us! I'm not doing a treat a day as such, I'm not even really practising what I'm preaching! but hoping over time some little habits will creep in and stick. Sounds like your general diet is healthy, lots of veg etc. I'd like to get there. I'm trying to include more fruit and veg in each meal.

Can you arm yourself with a list of alternatives to comfort eating when you're tempted to snack? Use a nice hand cream or paint your nails. An adult colouring book? Even 5 mins housework?! Lol!
Or have the snack for now, but a small portion, and eat it mindfully?

I calorie counted for a while, and whilst I lost weight I know it's not a sustainable method for me. What it did teach me was what a portion size looks like! 30g cheese is a portion , it's the size of a small matchbox. I used to cut a quarter of a block and just eat it mindlessly! so I'm still snacking on cheese, but a much smaller piece now.

Another rule I read, was to sit down to eat. This definitely helps with the mindful eating practise.

Bazzinga - that's a really brilliant point. I'd never thought of it that way before. It took me 10 years to gain 25 pounds, so it's unlikely I'll shed the lot in 12 weeks!

Today I'm back on aiming for 10k steps a day - wasn't well enough before. Had a long sunny walk with DS2 and discovered footpaths we didn't know existed. We walked 11k steps.

Had natural yoghurt with fresh raspberries and a sprinking of muesli for breakfast. Peppered mackerel, a slice of rye bread, beetroot and rocket for lunch with fresh mango for pud. That was exactly what I really fancied and knew would do me good after a bad cold. But I couldn't resist adding up the calories and it came to about 450 (not sure how many are in a mango slice.) That's pretty healthy, I think. As in, about what a normal person who doesn't binge might eat after a walk on a normal day.

Challenge of the week Prepare to care for yourself

Autum's setting in. Get ahead of yourself and stock up on any supplements you find helpful to ward off colds. Stock up too on warming but healthy options for when you want something comforting - herbal or fruit teas if you like them or healthy soups, so there's always something quick and easy but good for you.

Treat yourself to your favourite handcream, moisturiser and/or lip balm.

(I'm trying not to make all treats spendy, as some people are on budgets, but I bet loads of us find it harder to buy small non-food treat for ourselves than we do to buy high calorie binge foods. Spend the money you're not wasting on excess food anymore on you.

Nice list - thank you millifiori. It coincides nicely with the need to switch season on food I had this morning. I was planning shake with frozen berries but it's lousy. Instead I had a warm shake with oats and peach. Previously I would have forced down the cold shake because it's on the list for today's eating.

I'm going to start working on my treats by bringing my cold weather perfumes out and boxing up the summer ones.

I m mainly keen on fixing my overeating/bingeing doing this but I suspect I might even lose some weight. I had a peek at the scale and it's going in the right direction. I'm now going to put it on top of the cupboard and only weigh monthly at most.
Have a good week everyone

Millifiori thanks for those ideas. I put an order in yesterday for some fish oils. I reckon the cod liver oil generation were onto something. Isn't it meant to be a good source of vitamin d too?
I bought some nice herbal teas too.

Today I want to go for a run and do some cleaning. then I'm going to have some lunch and do some reading.

I take Vit D, B12, omega 3.6.9 and Floradix daily in the hope of gaining some energy and beating the brain fog....
I have a nice autumn candle and some new houseplants. Lovely in my cosy living room once kids are asleep. Money saved on takeaways could easily buy a box set or something?
Need to get on top of my step count! It's supposed to be one of my baby steps but I'm not sticking to it!
My mum asked me today if I'm getting back on my diet. I told her baby steps...

There are some lovely posts here. I realise that I'm very bad at saying no to food that others are offering me, even if I wouldn't have chosen it myself. Just the other day someone ordered rice and naan for me with a curry, and for some reason I didn't say that I didn't need the rice if I was having naan. I think I'm very big on politely clearing my plate and accepting food graciously - I need to develop the skill of saying 'that sounds lovely, but I'll stick to tea' or whatever it might be.

I'm also thinking about how I can re-work my expectations around treating myself in cafes - I'm away a lot, so need to spend time in cafes for tea and coffee, and I always want a cake, not because I'm hungry, but because somehow it's part of the café experience for me and I've not had a proper time without it.

Travelling Fleet - could you get yourself a really beautiful notebook, and then treat yourself in cafes to a healthy drink and a 15 minute doodle or journalling about things you'd love to do in life, or developing plans for a holiday or some other non-food treat. You could then mentally shift the cafe 'treat' from sugar to fulfilling your dreams.

Tbh even going in and aiming to reach the next level of candy crush is a healthier target. It took me ages to work out that Candy Crush is actually designed to replace candy in your life as a short term distraction and treat. (So I don't feel so guilty playing it now! )

I need a kick up the bum! Charged Fitbit - again... then got up too late to walk the nursery run this morning. House needs a good clean. Behind on paperwork again!

To be fair on myself I'm shattered at the moment. But aren't we all!

Positives - I've been looking after my new houseplants. They are making me happy!

How's everyone else doing?

Houseplants make me very happy indeed!

Thanks for the interesting suggestions about cafes - they aren't quite right, as actually I already do that kind of thing regularly as part of my morning and weekly routine (brilliant and I highly recommend it), but it's really giving me some ideas about alternatives. I need something that gives me the houseplant level of buzz!

That's funny about Candy Crush, never knew that. Have arranged to help with some Christmas boxes just by giving donations. Also reading a bit more hen I can. Life is cola at the moment so not that much opportunity to start new hobbies to be kind to myself etc. Totally get the wanting cake in a cafe thing. I met a friend and felt like that today and was also hungry. Probably helped that my friend is about the wright I am aiming gor and used to be, don't want to dwell on that though as will feel crap

What houseplants do you all have? Nice idea. I sometimes have orchids if given them as presents but that's about it.

Blew it yesterday. Was working until v late at night. Came home and had two glasses of wine and a pot of salted peanuts. Felt sick afterwards. If I'd paused and thought, I'd have had what I actually craved which was a herbal tea. It's the trigger-happy 'treats' mindset that I need to undo. Like the dog in Up that goes Squirrel!

Walked this morning with a friend. It was lovely. Then coffee outside, (no cake.) Porridge for breakfast, soup, wholemeal bread and a banana for lunch. Still getting over a wheezy cold so can't start hard exercise yet but want to get back to HIIT and kettlebells as I love feeling strong.

Succulents are gorgeous house plants - especially when beautifully planted up. There are some lovely instagram accounts.

I've been doing really well. Positive moderate eating no bingeing. But today got a bit over stressed and binged. But I've calmly decided to stop, have some water and bed. I think salty foods are a weak point as I'm more likely to overeat when I'm thirsty.
I notice I eat when I feel overwhelmed by how much I have to do. It's like a legitimate break. So I'm going to practice having breakdown without eating.