I cringe when people mention my weight loss.

[wispytree]

I've lost a bit of weight - not huge amounts but enough that people I know have noticed it. Some very kind and well-meaning friends have mentioned it and complimented me. Nothing like 'OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO THIN' (because I'm not) but more 'Oh, you've lost weight, haven't you?!'

This is lovely and I appreciate it but I get so embarrassed. I cringe inside and I have no idea how to respond. I just say 'thanks' and change the subject. Is this normal or am I being weird? I'm not a socially awkward / anxious person normally. Does anyone else get this?

NB Please don't interpret this as a stealth boast or anything. It isn't.

I have always done the same. I don't understand why something so personal is seen as normal small talk between women. Actually, my friends don't say anything because they know I hate it - it's people who I only know in formal, professional contexts which is even weirder!

It is really personal, isn't it? I'm glad it's not only me.

I guess I've always been 'curvy' overweight and VERY conscious of my body. People openly talking about it to me makes me want to curl up under a rock somewhere.

If anyone I know loses weight, I never directly mention it to them. Instead I just say how fab they look. Far less cringey.

I lost a lot of weight before and I still have comments from work colleagues about being a big girl and all that type of thing. It is do rude and I never do it. I might say oh your top is lovely, you look great but only to people I am familiar with that I know are ok with that.

YY to the last part of your post, wobbly.

I'm sorry you've had to endure those rude comments.

People are far too quick to comment on women's bodies. I'm really skinny (not the good kind, the scrawny sickly kind) and I've had the most terribly hurtful things said to me. Worse again is the constant commenting when pregnant.

I don't have a good come back for it. Hoping some other posters come up with good lines I can use.

But well done on your hard work and hope you are enjoying it other than the annoying comments

Thanks, winner. Sorry that you've suffered with such comments, too. It's shit.

DH has lost weight too. People have commented to him and he doesn't give a shit

Tbh it's a bit of a minefield though. For every woman who's thinking "Eek, I wish people wouldn't comment on my weight loss - it's personal.", there may be another thinking "I'm so proud of my weight loss. How come nobody's noticing it? "

I've lost nearly 7 stones since December, and I hate people commenting - I really have no idea at all what to say to them in response. I mean, I'm not going to say "you've got fat" to someone, so why is it ok for them to comment on me!!!

I'm losing weight, slowly, but I was thrilled when I'd lost nearly 1st and people noticed. Just smile and say something like "yes I'm getting there but it's hard"
Most people know how hard it is to lose weight so they're acknowledging your efforts.

I'm learning to say Thank You and smile rather than cringe.

I don't like commenting when someone has lost weight, I'd rather just say how great they look without referencing weight.

I always feel like if I say they've lost weight or look good that they've lost weight I'm accidentally calling them a cow or something.

On the other hand, I've lost nearly two stone and I'm really pleased with myself and no bugger has noticed! TBF, I've only lost the weight that I've gained in the last couple of years - maybe no one noticed that I gained weight and I should go back to eating take aways, drinking cider and mainlining chocolate?

DH has also lost weight and we went to an event last night where everyone was gushingly over how amazing he looks.

Gushing not gushingly.

I think it's natural to compliment someone on their weight loss, as you would if they had changed their hairstyle and it looked great, or been on holiday and come back with a healthy glow. Why not just take the compliment? All this pretence that it's offensive is ridiculous.

All this pretence that it's offensive is ridiculous.

No pretence or offence on my part. Not sure where you've pulled that from.

Thanks for all the other replies; well done to those who are good or getting better at taking the compliment. Ironically my weight loss was triggered by someone commenting on the fact that I'd got fatter. Analyse that

I say "thank you, I'm still working hard at it"

I hate losing weight for this reason.
For me it's a very personal thing. Attention to weight loss sets me to self destruct mode. As does attention to weight gain.
Can't win really!
Wish people would just keep their observations to themselves most of the time!

I hate people saying I look great. I don't like perpetuating the fat=bad thin=good thing. I lost lots of weight years ago as an anorexic and got lots of comments which just spurred me on. I just think weight shouldn't be mentioned unless the person themselves brings it up first. It can be very personal to some.

My MIL bangs on about it every time I see her. I think she means well and is trying to encourage me but I find it awkward and it just makes me think that I've looked awful for 10 years and now I look good.

There are plenty of thin people that look terrible and plenty of overweight people who look fabulous too!

samosa YES to all of that. I hate the negative connotations associated with the 'lost weight therefore you look better' analogy.

My grandad talks about my weight EVERY. FUCKING. TIME. I see him. I love him with all my heart and he means no malice whatsoever, but I can't stand it.

to anyone who has suffered an eating disorder. I have very close friends who have gone through this and I am so aware how easily a seemingly innocent comment can trigger people.

21 months ago my face swelled on one side as they thought I had mumps. It didn't go back to normal and a lot of people commented on it. With losing the weight my face has really slimmed down. The issue causing the swelling hasn't been resolved but I am having surgery soon. So people are thinking I am getting better as my face looked so bad for over a year x

" I lost lots of weight years ago as an anorexic and got lots of comments which just spurred me on. I just think weight shouldn't be mentioned unless the person themselves brings it up first"

Same here (both re ED history and that weight should not be mentioned unless the person brings it up). But according to some on here their wanting to "pay compliments" trumps someone else's wish not to hear personal remarks about themselves

It has always baffled me that people bring up things like weight! You wouldn't tell someone they have aged or that they look younger. So why would you comment on weight gain or loss

I've had so much of this too after a large weight loss and it made me so uncomfortable. It felt intrusive and personal for people to comment on my body. I started to try to shift he conversation on quickly by saying 'oh yes, my son and I have taken up running and it's been great!" That tended to stave off the questions I'd get about what special diet I must have been on ...

People are paying you a compliment. They believe it to be a compliment anyway and probably have no idea it makes you cringe.

I'd say being able to accept a compliment graciously is a great life skill OP

I understand OP.

I own a clothing shop, and customers comment on my weight / size Every. Single. Fucking. Day. It's always unsolicited and it's really, really rude.

I'm slim, and petite, and it seems that this makes me fair game for "ooh what do you weigh? I bet you starve yourself don't you? Do you make any clothes for REAL women?" - type comments. After hearing this ALL MY LIFE I've started started turning this back to the speaker and saying (with as polite a tone as I can muster), "why do you want to know? Would you ask me that if I was overweight? What makes you think I'm not a real woman?" etc.

The best one was a customer last week who, while we were doing her dress fitting, looked me in the eye and said "you have really teeny tiny boobies don't you." How I didn't thump her I will never know. (And "boobies" ffs).

Aarrrrgggghhhh

Your body, your business, and I understand why you don't want people commenting. It's great that some people on this thread are happy with people commenting on their appearance, but not all of us are. I'd say that my right not to be commented on definitely outweighs the need of the pillock speaker to make the comment!