I cringe when people mention my weight loss.

[wispytree]

I've lost a bit of weight - not huge amounts but enough that people I know have noticed it. Some very kind and well-meaning friends have mentioned it and complimented me. Nothing like 'OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO THIN' (because I'm not) but more 'Oh, you've lost weight, haven't you?!'

This is lovely and I appreciate it but I get so embarrassed. I cringe inside and I have no idea how to respond. I just say 'thanks' and change the subject. Is this normal or am I being weird? I'm not a socially awkward / anxious person normally. Does anyone else get this?

NB Please don't interpret this as a stealth boast or anything. It isn't.

Bang on, mrs. Absolutely bang on.

And bullshit to being 'gracious' 😂 Learning not to comment on the personal appearance of others, or make others feel uncomfortable, is a great life skill.

'Learning not to comment on the personal appearance of others, or make others feel uncomfortable, is a great life skill.'

I agree. I was sat near a woman on a training course yesterday who had a fab outfit on. I really wanted to tell her but there was no way to do so without other people hearing. I didn't want to risk embarrassing her so I kept my mouth shut.

I lost quite a bit of weight a few years ago. Some people commented privately to me that I was looking good, or said something general like 'you look fab'. That I didn't mind. What I did mind was people fussing and shrieking in front of others about how much weight I had lost and how did I do it and how marvellous etc etc . I found it mortifying. My weight loss was a side effect of trying to take better care of myself as part of recovering from severe depression and grief and I did not want to share that with everyone. I even tried saying 'actually I've not been very well' to try to try to shut them up, but that either led to further interrogation about why and how I had been unwell, or just drew more stupid comments like 'oh well at least you're looking great!' Ugh.

If someone is twirling around in front of you and talking about their diet / exercise plan / how great they feel, then fair game. If not, keep your thoughts to yourself.

Oops I always say 'you've lost weight, you look great!' to people 😐. I'll be more subtle in future and just say you look really nice!

The thing is ooh, there are all sorts of unpleasant reasons why someone might lose weight - illness, mental health issues, eating disorders, heartbreak etc. Weight loss isn't always a fun, positive thing. Some people are also just downright shy and hate being fussed over. I appreciate you mean well, but erring on the side of caution is probably the way forward