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A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Original poster

No one has noticed - what does this mean

33 replies

Revealall · 20/10/2016 17:29

So normally the next thing other women say after hello is - "nice hair/dress/ shoes" or "you've lost weight". It's a thing isn't it. I was doing a bit of exercise and loss less than half a stone before the summer ( was 12 stone and a bit) and everyone was all over themselves telling me how well I was doing

For the last month I have been cutting out all the crap ( of which there was a lot), low carbing and keeping up the exercise. I have lost nearly a stone.
No one has noticed or said anything.

I'm not thin ( just under 11 stone now and short) so I don't look ill or anything. I'm still in the same clothes but they fit better and I can get into some old ones again.

I'm getting a bit " is it worth it" as I would dearly love a bit of cake and wine. How do I keep motivated.

OP posts:
Not2bObvious · 20/10/2016 17:50

I've lost & regained so many times now I hate when people notice, and even when I haven't they say it - which makes me think I must be obviously needy! You lost weight for you, no one else - to lose a stone in a month is amazing. And you can have a bit of cake and wine, just not a whole cake/bottle every day.

JamieVardysParty · 20/10/2016 17:56

I've lost a stone very slowly over the past few months and only my Dad has noticed.

I read a great analogy about weight loss being like a toilet roll. The first few layers that come off aren't too noticeable compared to a full toilet roll. However at the end of the roll, using a sheet or two makes the toilet roll look a lot smaller. As you get down further to your goal weight, a couple of pounds will look more noticeable.

Original poster
Revealall · 20/10/2016 18:45

Not2. I am doing that 8 week blood sugar diet because all my weight is round my middle. I am a real diabetes risk actually so I am pleased I might be able to preempt it.
It has really helped me stick to it knowing it's for health rather than vanity as usually I give up after a few days.
But now I'm halfway and have really lost weight quickly I could do with positive reinforcement.

Jamie - well done on a stone. It makes a difference where on your body you lose it from I suppose as to how much it notices. I do look like a loo roll on legs actually so I shall aim for being cardboard tube!

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SingingTunelessly · 20/10/2016 18:56

I never comment on somebody's weight tbh although that's probably because I hate it when it's said to me. Rather say to somebody "you look lovely" or some such small talk if I felt I had to say something - i.e. somebody who has clearly lost a shed load of weight and it needs acknowledging. Weight is such a sensitive issue isn't it.

Not2bObvious · 20/10/2016 19:00

Ahh now I see why you can't have cake & wine, ex-BSD'er, did it for around 6 months - although I did allow myself wine after 4 weeks, no cake though. The other point is if it's the same people you see all the time, they might not notice it yet

FishSauce555 · 20/10/2016 19:02

I lost 5 stone. First stone off and the world and his wife commented. Nothing else until I got another 3 off. Now nothing since the last stone!

Well done, I know it's hard hard hard work Smile

Maybe treat yourself to a new outfit? Show off the results a bit!

qwertyuiopasdfghjkl · 20/10/2016 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hugoagogo · 20/10/2016 19:06

It took 4 stone for anyone to comment on my weight loss.
Some people noticed after 2 and a half, but only when I whinged that no one had noticed Blush

Katsite · 20/10/2016 19:11

When I was doing a a low carb diet DH insisted I looked "grey", others noticed that my face looked haggard. I felt great, so didn't pay them any attention.

BerylStreep · 20/10/2016 19:17

Personally I can't bear people mentioning my weight, whether it is a positive comment or not, it is still defining me by my weight.

Why do you need positive reinforcement from others?

I would never comment on someone's weight. If I think they are looking well, I would say so, but that is more likely to be because of clear skin, clear eyes etc.

Original poster
Revealall · 20/10/2016 21:00

Well unless other people comment it's just up to me to get through the diet. It's a restrictive regime and whilst fairly easy , I've still got another 4 weeks to do.

Obviously they don't know that it's trying to lower blood sugar and there is no way they can see I'm getting healthier inside can they. I know but as I said another 4 weeks is tough with some sort of recognition..

Why comment on anything about people? Why is looking well better than looking thinor looking happy or skin looking good.

OP posts:
dangerrabbit · 20/10/2016 21:12

Personally, I never comment on people's weight as I have had an eating disorder in the past and am sensitive to it. I hate it when other people say anything about my weight even if I know they are trying to be complimentary about it, maybe the people around you also prefer not to comment? If you have seen the difference yourself does it matter what other people think.

BerylStreep · 20/10/2016 21:13

For me, it is because I know people who, even when I was quite slim, used to always say 'oh, have you lost weight?' when I hadn't, nor did I think I needed to. Looking back, I realise that it really contributed to me developing a poor body image of myself because I was constantly being defined by weight. To say to someone you think they have lost weight can suggest in some cases that they noticed you were a bit porky before, and are noticing that you are slightly less porky. But the conversation is still fundamentally about your level of porkiness.

I think to say to someone that they are looking really healthy doesn't have the same negative connotations. Who knows though?

enolagayits0815 · 20/10/2016 21:16

I tend to complement people on their clothes, if they have a lovely new skirt then me mentioning it will make them feel good if they have slimmed into it.

BerylStreep · 20/10/2016 21:16

ps - well done on the weight loss. It's a great achievement to feel better and hopefully you feel healthier. It's lovely when clothes start to fit well. Smile

enolagayits0815 · 20/10/2016 21:16

Ugh. Compliment of course.

Bamboofordinneragain · 21/10/2016 16:29

I lost three stone a couple of years ago, and it was really interesting who commented and who kept quiet. All the very thin people told me I was too thin, and the very overweight ones never said anything. I can understand the second group, but the first was a bit baffling.

AnneGables · 21/10/2016 16:36

I rarely comment on weight loss for fear of putting my foot in it and offending someone.

Well done on your loss!

bubblyone · 22/10/2016 13:01

Feeling the same. Few pounds in, people were asking...and I wasn't even sure I'd lost anything. Now it's more like 17lbs from my 4'10" body so down a good size...but only one person has mentioned.

I suppose it's important to me to get the "reinforcement" because I really do struggle with knowing how I look. The scales are always tricky, particularly because I carry some muscle from lifting. Without some feedback I feel like there's the temptation to either go "f*#k this, give me that cake" or to restrict and restrict until I can go lower lower lower. It's been a gradual loss (much of it accidental stress induced!) but now that I actually want to get back to my previous "happy weight", I'm impatient.

Original poster
Revealall · 22/10/2016 14:44

That's exactly what I mean bubbly. Must be a "thing" then. You've done well though - that's a huge loss.

Perhaps it's also to do with being shorter? The last time I lost significant weight ( small 10) I noticed how many commented on my height too. I had many people saying on how short, little or tiny I was.
Whereas as a size 16 people have never made height related comments apart from those that assumed I was taller than I was.

OP posts:
SleepFreeZone · 22/10/2016 14:46

I've lost over a stone now and am now probably a dress size 12/14 instead of 14/16. No one has noticed and no one has said anything nice. To hell them lol

AbbieLexie · 22/10/2016 14:49

No comments from anyone and I've lost almost 3 stone! A bit gutted if I'm honest. I feel better for it. Pain more controlled so I'm not permanently grazing. Am also doing Pilates once a week and joined a gym last month so swimming twice a week for 30 minutes.

bubblyone · 22/10/2016 17:27

@Revealall Yes! Actually true too. It's like it highlights the smallness. You'd assume it would be more obvious that we'd lost though.
I don't think it's abnormal to like some positive reinforcement for doing something difficult. So go you!

@SleepFreeZone. That's a big difference!!

@AbbieLexie Are they all blind?!? 3 stone is massive!! Congrats to you, and especially on all the exercise.

bubblyone · 28/10/2016 09:48

The other thing is that I kind of feel like I need to restrict more and more when nobody has commented. OBVIOUSLY I must still be fat if nobody has even noticed. You know what I mean?

Original poster
Revealall · 28/10/2016 17:02

bubblyone- yes I know what you mean. However I am not a natural restricter though, so unless I have some reinforcement ( looser clothes, bit of definition, someone notices) I do give up.
I am doing shred and I have noticed a change in the feel in my waist now with the diet ( shredding for 6 months with little difference). It has always been squidgy and now feels firm. So now I am reinforcing myself by putting my hands on my hips when I waver.
How much more do you need to lose bubblyone?

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