Crash-dieters, binge-eaters and those who nibble away their boredom.....

[SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve]

How about having a thread (ie this one) where we can come for support and distraction when our "psychological eating" begins to get out of control? Whether it's compulsive munching, dangerous crash-dieting or yo-yoing between the two, many of us know that our crap relationship with food is rooted in anxieties/depression/feelings of inferiority which some of us have been carrying around since childhood. Personally I find it just too difficult to battle these urges on my own. I also find that not being able to defeat the desire to eat makes me feel quite pathetic and low, which drives the vicious circle and makes my eating become even more dysfunctional.

Anyone else who feels like this about food, sign up here and we can give each other an arm to lean on when things get too tough to handle alone. The aim is to try and adopt a more measured and less psychologically loaded approach to slimming, moderate exercise and sensible eating rather than oscillating beween starvation and bingeing. No food diaries, no weigh-ins, no pressure - just somewhere we can talk about the issues that underlie our eating, identify our "food flashpoints", and aid each other towards a healthier relationship with food.

I'll start:

I am stuck in a pretty horrendous cycle with food at the moment. I lost four stone over a year, and went down to a size 12, which made me feel terrific and my confidence was sky-high. Over the last year I have put more than half of that weight back on, which is making me very miserable. My mother's relationship with food was similar and she was given to expressing disappointment quite openly when I gained weight, which set up issues of shame etc. I find it very difficult to overcome the feelings I have about eating/weight, which means that I crash-diet (virtual starvation) whenever I feel strong enough, and when I am depressed/anxious I binge-eat, I can eat more than dh suring one of these phases. I tend to think that anything momentous that happens in our lives, good or bad means that we "deserve" a big blow-out, and I find it difficult to relocate that feeling of being "treated" onto anything inedible. I'm hoping if this thread works, I will be able to come here when I feel like bingeing, when I am anxious/depressed and likely to start "abusing" food, and when I know I am crash-dieting and need to find a better way of slimming.

It's not the eating of the chocolate, or myself, that I was describing as disgusting - it was the self-deceit and the general lack of control. I was disgusted with myself anyway.

I can see what you mean though.

The hunger flashpoints were a problem for me - I could eat my way through half a pack of biscuits or 4 slices of toast without pausing for breath.

I know what you mean, I hope I didn't sound patronising - it's just really coming home to me how powerful and destructive my own sense of self-disgust is sometimes, IYKWIM. Someone once said to me that the most painful thing emotionally is for someone you love to be disappointed in you. I think I might be doing that to myself quite a lot, and it might be a self-fulfilling prophecy - if I keep telling myself I am a despicable weakling with no self-control, then I feel like one, and I behave like one.

But it probably isn't helpful of me to tell people not to use whatever language they want to express how they feel - this thread is supposed to be about facing up to our issues and being honest about them, after all.

A couple of weeks ago I ate six packets of yoghurt-covered raisins one after the other. I had bought them for the children as a treat, and they were quite expensive compared to the things I usually give them. I definitely felt disgusted with myself then .

I ate a virtually whole packet of pate last night while watching tv. I wasn't going to but dh made some toast and then I was a gonner. I am managing not to drink so far this week though. I find that once I have had a glass of wine all my self control goes through the window.

My ds is overweight and he is only 5. I have definately been guilty of "treating" him with fatty and sugary foods and now none of his clothes fit around his tummy. He constantly badgers me for food. We don't have crisps or biscuits in the house but he steals tins of rice pudding from the cupboard and eats them cold. He once ate three cheese and onion pasties in one go. I am really upset to see the cycle repeating itself.

Trice - can your 5 year-old use a tin opener then?? I bet a lot of us with weight issues obsess about passing on our neuroses to our children - I know I do and so sympathise. I try to set a good example in front of them (whilst being hypocritical behind their backs ) but it is hard. My ds is always asking for food so what I try to do with him is offer him fruit and leave it out or bring it out every time he says he is hungry (if he has already had something substantial). I just try and grit my teeth and try and not give in with the demands for choc etc, as my mum did with me. Maybe you need to lock away food like the rice pudding and pasties - at his age he shouldn't be able to reach it.

As for calling ourselves disgusting, I do it as well - it's part of the self-loathing that goes with the whole comfort eating/bingeing etc. I certainly do not make such judgements about others, whatever their size or what they say they eat. It's a very egocentric problem, isn't it?

I've bought my two a mini-fridge for Christmas, so that I can leave bowls of fruit/veg snacks, breadsicks, bottles of water etc in it for them to help themselves to. I'm hopin the pleasure of having their own fridge to help themselves from will create a positive association with the healthy snacks I leave in it . I am pretty fascist about their diet actually (have had my virtual kneecaps broken many times on MN for it) - my own overeating tends not to be things that are classed as "bad foods". It's more the quantity I eat - I swing between eating almost nothing for days on end and making myself run down and ill, and eating whole loaves of bread etc. It's the same fat, whether you acquire it eating cheeseburgers, raw swans or Grenn&Blacks organic milk chocolate.

Today I keep "nipping" back to the kitchen for bits of bread. I had a nice bowl of soup and a reasonable hunk of granary bread for lunch. But I'm still hungry. I can make myself shut down entirely and eat nothing. But I don't seem to be able to make myself eat reasonable, balanced meals.

Ive not eaten much today.Pobably mainly because there is bugger all in the cupboards! I am hoping once i buy a little food tomorrow that i will resist pigging it all and then my Dc will have some treats for saturday.
Im hungry at the moment but drinking water,it does sem to help.

It looks like the answer to "could I be pg?" is resounding NO!

Inasmuch as no-one responded so I guess it's an idea beneath consideration.

Since having started WW again on Tues & doing 30 mins on the eliptical trainer, I've lost about 2lbs! Probably due to fluid retention but it's certainly put the smile back on my face!

Sorry fruitcake, I missed your "could I be pregnant" post, sorry if you felt ignored. With those symptoms I would definitely do a test. Would it be a good thing if you were, or not so good?

Well done on the 2lb, and I am glad you are feeling happier!

I am also feeling better today having managed to watch the children eating sausage rolls and flapjacks for lunch and not cave in a stuff myself! I have had muesli, fruit juice, a ham sandwich, an apple and a banana, which isn't too bad by my standards - usually if I am not gorging myself with gay abandon, I am eating nothing but raw veg and water

I do think this thread is helping me, actually - I'm much more aware of what underlies my food-related impulses and it's helping me to control them a bit better. I hope it's useful for others too.

I have got yet another tonsillitis-type thing though, and it can't be blamed on poor nutrition this time, it's just bloody foul luck [long-suffering emoticon]

I blew it last night. Drank more than my WW-alotted 1 glass of (dry) white wine & all inhibitions disappeared. Back on the "straight & narrow" today but feeling disgusted with myself.