Crash-dieters, binge-eaters and those who nibble away their boredom.....

[SantaGotStuckUpTheGreensleeve]

How about having a thread (ie this one) where we can come for support and distraction when our "psychological eating" begins to get out of control? Whether it's compulsive munching, dangerous crash-dieting or yo-yoing between the two, many of us know that our crap relationship with food is rooted in anxieties/depression/feelings of inferiority which some of us have been carrying around since childhood. Personally I find it just too difficult to battle these urges on my own. I also find that not being able to defeat the desire to eat makes me feel quite pathetic and low, which drives the vicious circle and makes my eating become even more dysfunctional.

Anyone else who feels like this about food, sign up here and we can give each other an arm to lean on when things get too tough to handle alone. The aim is to try and adopt a more measured and less psychologically loaded approach to slimming, moderate exercise and sensible eating rather than oscillating beween starvation and bingeing. No food diaries, no weigh-ins, no pressure - just somewhere we can talk about the issues that underlie our eating, identify our "food flashpoints", and aid each other towards a healthier relationship with food.

I'll start:

I am stuck in a pretty horrendous cycle with food at the moment. I lost four stone over a year, and went down to a size 12, which made me feel terrific and my confidence was sky-high. Over the last year I have put more than half of that weight back on, which is making me very miserable. My mother's relationship with food was similar and she was given to expressing disappointment quite openly when I gained weight, which set up issues of shame etc. I find it very difficult to overcome the feelings I have about eating/weight, which means that I crash-diet (virtual starvation) whenever I feel strong enough, and when I am depressed/anxious I binge-eat, I can eat more than dh suring one of these phases. I tend to think that anything momentous that happens in our lives, good or bad means that we "deserve" a big blow-out, and I find it difficult to relocate that feeling of being "treated" onto anything inedible. I'm hoping if this thread works, I will be able to come here when I feel like bingeing, when I am anxious/depressed and likely to start "abusing" food, and when I know I am crash-dieting and need to find a better way of slimming.

I am supposed to be having spicy lentil and carrot soup tonight, I made it myself and it is gorgeous - lemongrass and chillies and ginger and stuff. I am fighting off cravings for huge hunks of bread slathered in butter though

have had v healthy tea of couscous and veg...now onto the wine and crisps, a bad habit I must break! have also taken delivery today of my new breadmaker, can't see that helping in anyway

Moondog, Alas no I don't expect it, but I think they should do it....

Feeling sick ,have had yet another stress binge today,do i qualify?
Now feeling really fat and guilty ,guilty ,guilty,its the same old cycle over and over.
I really need to start smoking again.

You really wont believe how much ive eaten

Pelvic floor I have even thought of smoking again!
Not really the best solution i guess.

I seem to crave the fags more now and its been about 18 months since i gave up.
At least when i smoked and got the munchies by the time i had had a fag and a coffee the craving had gone.

Just coming up a year now. I do miss it in a way but not the smell and my poor DC breathing it in.

Fizzbuzz - I agree that more people would be helped weight-wise, and all that comes with it, if less time was spent just telling people what to eat and more was spent on their psychological 'health' but I think Moondog is in the 'just eat less and move more' camp. Moondog, you have a willpower of steel and inner confidence that is admirable but some of us are not so lucky and have been f**ked up somwhere along the way.

But even I know that we have to stop being so cruel to ourselves! By mytwopenceworth and Schneebly, bingeing does not make you 'a vile pig' or 'disgusting' - it's a symptom of something we're all trying to understand and kill, not the essence of your being .

I do that a lot lapinrose - have a really good nutritious virtuous meal, feel good about it for a bit and then get the raging munchies.... and once you've given in to it (one piece of chocolate etc), nothing in the house is safe!

I have been thinking today about trying to see it all from the point of view of improving my health rather than slimming, as I do have high blood pressure and am not as fit as I would like to be. I think it might help to take the focus of what I actually eat in terms of calories, and concentrate on things like drinking loads of water, taking care of my skin/hair, doing a bit of muscle-toning exercise (as opposed to running etc which makes me cough and sweat and die) trying to make my sleep habits healthier, always eating breakfast, no caffeine etc. It has worked in the past to lift me out of a rut with the issue of food/crap body image. I do find to a degree that it helps me to feel more positive and less desperate about the whole mess. If I try and "lose weight" in the usual self-denial/self-disgust pattern I end up in a vicious circle again, alternating between bingeing and eating nothing at all.

On the other hand, maybe this is just another way of sidestepping the underlying problem. I'm not sure.

I've been treating my comfort-binging with diet pills but they don't seem to work anymore & also doc has told me in no uncertain terms to stop taking them cos they're making my depression come back, which I can't seem to believe.

I sympathise with you there fruitcake - being wedged between depression and comfort-eating is awful, they fuel one another and I can totally understand why you might have wanted the diet pills. I've tried various herbal/over-the-counter "slimming aids" over the years, as well as metabolism-boosting tricks like green tea, or appetite-suppressants like fennel. I've never gone for anything really medicinal (apart from things like Aqua-Ban, when I've convinced myself the excess flub is water retention ) but I would have if I could have got hold of it.

I've come to the conclusion that I want a permanent, healthy solution to all of this, rather than just a better figure - but that's easier said than done. I have found the 10/10 thread on here quite inspiring at times, because its focus is on healthy positive additions to the lifestyle rather than just taking things away, and improving general health, rather than just self-punishing for failures and listing forbidden things. I have a horror of weigh-ins and calorie counting, but I have found myself in the past becoming obsessed with them. I think a lot of us here suffer from depression/anxiety too.

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hi Dior! I've missed 2 weeks of WW so must go tomorrow but am dreading it. I'm so ashamed! Why do I torture myself with WW? I guess because being weighed every week keeps me in check but I've put so much on recently! I protein-dieted all weekend & exercised like mad but then fell apart this afternoon. Ate a fat-reduced (or so they say) muffin at Starbucks & ate macaroni & cheese with the dc because dh was late & I was soooo hungry! Also had a vodka tonic.

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I haven't read right through this thread, but please can I join - everyone rings a bell with me! I definitely eat when I'm lonely or anxious - always have done. My parents have a CRAP relationship with food, so am trying to pass on good vibes to my children.

I've definitely oscillated - at uni I was very thin - size 10-12, and whilst I wouldn't say I was HAPPY, I was definitely happy with how I looked! This did involve eating nothing though, and other stuff which I dont' want to go into here. Since children I've definitely got a lot bigger - jeans are size 16 now, and I think I'm on the bigger end of 16, so only want to go downwards! Eating without thinking is definitely something I need to concentrate on, and also that 'there's a packet of biscuits in the house, I need to eat it all NOW'. Why is that? Why is it impossible to have an open packet of biscuits without eating them. Before it's open it's fine.

Late afternoon/evening is also difficult - yesterday, I was really good all day, ate mostly fruit/veggies, then got to the evening and had 4 chocolate biscuits. I mean, WHY????

(And btw, www, I don't think you're horrific at all!)

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Anyone else a procrastinator par excellence? I wonder if the two things go together:

Not starting some things (possibly boring or difficult, even though they can be rewarding in the end) and not being able to stop others (eating - even though that might be sickening in the end).

No DON'T START SMOKING AGAIN! As Allen Carr says "then you'll just be a fat SMOKER"- it will add a problem, not solve one.

Has anyone ever eaten dc's selection box, or Easter Eggs and had to go out and buy some more?
[guilty emoticon]

fizzbuzz I have often eaten the DC bars of chocolate.
Ive made biscuits with them one day and then they wonder why the next morning there are none left. Can't hide it from my DS's.They are old enough to know Mum has eaten them all.
I'm fed up with the lack of treats left for them because i eat them all.

I also understand the unopened/opened packet thing.

Has anyone else made an instant whip/angel delight and eaten the whole thing?

I've eaten their selection boxes - though I did try to stick to the things I knew they didn't like. I've also raided the bags of chocolate buttons that I bought for them at the weekends. I've done disgusting things like buy a big bar of chocolate for us all to share (ha!) after dinner - we'd eat half of it and then I'd stuff the rest while I was in the kitchen making coffee . Then decided that I'd have to replace it the next day before I was found out.....and have to eat half the bar so that no-one would know it was a new one.....

How humiliating is that? Which is why I am now virtually sugar-free. I have a problem with it so I avoid it.

I ate some of his Easter Eggs after he had received them. I told him I'd thrown them out as they were too near a radiator and had melted.

Uh, I did make it to WW. It was baaaaaddddd, excruciating but back on the straight & narrow. Pls wish me luck!

Just wondering here, I know it's very unlikely but could I be pg? I had my "tubes tied" last Easter (how ironic) but I feel pg & am having spotting, cramps, sore boobs, weird mood swings... is it possible? Should I waste money on a test?

joelallie, it's not disgusting to eat too much chocolate. It's not a good idea, obviously, we all know we have problems with food and are trying to address them - but I think we should all try not to describe ourselves using words like disgust, vile, pig, revolting etc - we wouldn't use them about other people, would we? I catch myself saying really offensive things about myself sometimes, and I think it does affect the way I feel almost as much as if someone else had said them. I remember my mother catching sight of me looking in the mirror once - she said "If you looked at someone else with that hateful, scornful expression they would burst into tears or punch you!".

I have received a book from the lovely Frannyandzooey today, I have not read it yet (obviously!) but it looks fantastic - it is called "Naturally slim without dieting" by Cherie Martin, and seems to be about all the issues we have been discussing on this thread. One of the sub-headings is called "the links between your eating and your emotions" - I am really looking forward to reading it. I will post more about it when I have read it

I am so hungry today I could eat a horse. Or possibly the cat. This is a flashpoint for me - when I am really hungry I often eat inappropriately large amounts of the wrong foods because I haven't got the patience to wait until I can make myself something decent.