Weightloss programme for DD

[withaspongeandarustyspanner]

I write this with caution. I don't even want to be writing this, but I think I need a bit for advice for how to deal with my DD's weight - only she's only 9 and a half and I'm really worried about her.

She's not very tall (I don't know exactly, but I can measure her) but she weighs almost 6 st.

She's my eldest - I have another 3 children, who are quite slender. She does like her food and has always had a good appetite. She will always eat seconds given the chance, and if I don't let her, she's quite nasty and moody about it. If I don't let her have sweets, she's also stroppy (we limit sweets to once a week). I almost feel like she's got an issue, only I don't know what issue it is. For example, I took her, her sister and some friends to the cinema the other day. While we selecting the drink, popcorn and snack package, she was then asking about the next bag of sweets she could have.

I hate the idea of being controlling about her food, but I think it's got the point where I have to. She's not all that keen on PE - she does it at school, obviously, and she dances and has swimming lessons so she's not entirely sedentary. We could all do with getting more exercise - we've just been out for a walk, but we can only walk as fast as the slowest person (4 year old), so it wasn't exactly brisk.

Does anyone have any advice? Obviously, I haven't mentioned any of this to her and I don't want to or to make her aware of my concerns.

Thanks in advance.

If she dances, swims and does PE every week and only has sweets once a week, could it be that she is naturally meant to be heavier? I dont even know if 6st is right or not for that age (knowing her height would help).

This is going to sound abrupt but does she look overweight?

You've described my DS1 (11). He's put on a LOT of weight and is now 7st 6. My solution is to put us both on a very healthy diet and exercise program together. I could do with losing 20lbs too. My mum put me on a duet with her when I was 13 and it was really good fun, and helpful to do it together.

Start by taking her to the Dr?

It's Lent beginning next Weds. Could she give up something (sweets?) for that, instead of it being a diet thing?

I know you must be scared of creating body issues in your DD, and I don't know how "big" 6st is in a 9 y/o, so have you done her BMI online? That'd be a good place to start. My son's BMI was result was "overweight", almost very.

Also, if the meals are homemade and well balanced, then I wouldnt refuse seconds.

It sounds like she's fairly active, so maybe it is the second helpings that are the problem? Could you maybe do more veg/salad with meals and get her to fill up on this?
It's good that you're aware of the problem and are trying to tackle it. I was always a 'heavy' child, frankly I just liked eating (still do!) and I kind of wish my mum had done something when I was younger.

I realise she has my husband's build - so she's shorter than average and a bit stocky. She is muscular - and has the most amazing strong and powerful thighs and yes, I'm completely aware that her build may mean she's supposed to be heavier and more solid, but yes, she looks chunky. And she couldn't do up the buttons on her shorts today (they are age 10-11).

I will see how tall she is. Hang on...

She's 135 cm

It could be the second helpings, but I mostly cook homecooked food from scratch.

I don't really want to take her to the Doctors because I don't want her to become aware of her size and shape and weight.

I need to lose some weight too - we're going to a family wedding and she and her sister are flowergirls - maybe a 'family health kick' is in order.

Is she getting enough protein? At 9 she is probably growing a lot, and if she doesn't get enough nutrients she will always want more food- make sure she has protein at wvery meal including breakfast?

Oh, I hadn't thought of that. What are good protein rich breakfasts? Eggs?

Eggs for breakfast is a good start. And so many different things to do with them. I try and make sure DD has eggs every day with one meal a day.

Sounds like my dd. She's 8 1/2, and 143 cm. She was born tall, and myself and dh are tall, but she is chunky round the waist. She takes an 11 clothes in length, but can struggle to do up the buttons, so is more comfy in a 11-12. I've tried generous fit on her, but they are too big.

But she really carries on like something demented if she can't have food. She is the only baby I have ever know to actually smack her chops before being fed. She just loves food, and like yours is always obsessing about the next bag of sweets. I don't know what to do for the best. If I tell her she's a bit chunky, and ban food, it might set up body issues, so we are taking the more excessive route. But it's almost like a taboo subject. We have 3 others who are beanpoles, but she could eat more than all of them put together.

I don't know what to do for the best. It feels like damnedif you do, and damned if you don't

It's nice to know I'm not alone and that your situation is similar to ours Oragneanddemons It really is the elephant in the room.

I think I'm just going to plan and be rigid about food and make sure that I do all the stressing about it, serve smaller meals, maybe cook less. No seconds, no finishing off, more water extra veg and see how we go from there. I've just looked on pinterest for some meal ideas - particularly for high protein breakfasts.

And everyone on here always seems to have ultra skinny dc, and that makes it worse

On the nhs bmi chart it's says your dd is healthy weight but at the end of it meaning she DOESNT need to lose weight. She's probably put some on because she's going to be starting puberty soon. I think this is more your own weight/image issues than your dd's weight.

I looked at the NHS BMI chart and it definitely said she's overweight. Are you sure you read it properly?

And it's about my own weight/image issues? Haha - you're too funny. I love Mumsnet sometimes.

I made up a date of birth so she would be 9&half and put in 5st 11(almost 6stone) and it came back at the end of healthy weight. Still had to put weight on to make it in to the overweight section...

Well, the result I got (and I did it numerous times) said that her height and weight put her on the 94th percentile. It quite clearly says that 'results suggest that the child measured is overweight for their height and age'.

One of us didn't enter the correct information...

Healthy weight

I am in exactly the same position as you, OP. My DD is the same age as yours, and although the BMI charts say she is at the top end of 'healthy weight' she definitely looks overweight. I do give her lots of fruit and vegetables and healthy homemade meals but she constantly wants snacks in between. This week will be particularly hard because it's half term so I just know she will be nagging for food constantly. We have a few days out planned with friends and I know they will end up suggesting McDonald's/sweets/ice cream for the kids which makes it harder to say no.

So no advice I'm afraid, but you are not alone and I will be watching this thread with interest.

Crazieauntie- you've put the age as 11, OP's DD is only 9.

Her date of birth will be 2005, not 2003.

To be honest, I knew someone would come along and have a pop about it being my weight and image issues, which was why I was reluctant to post at all. And sure enough, crazyauntie does just that.

I hate the fact that I'm even thinking about this, let alone asking a bunch of strangers for advice. I feel horribly disloyal. I would really hate her to even have an inkling that I think she's overweight. The last thing I want it for her to become conscious of it. But what am I supposed to do? Ignore it? Pretend that it's OK that she can't do up the buttons on her clothes? That they don't fit around the waist despite being age 10-11? She's already been called names at school. Frankly, I don't think ignoring it is what a responsible parent does.

Yes - she's 9, born in 2005.

Don't be swayed into to thinking swimming is keeping her 'active'. She might get a bit of exercise splashing around but not enough for it to matter,

Snacks..... This is a modern day problem. This in my opinion is at the root of childhood obesity. Look at all those snacks you bought.... Can nobody sit and watch a film without sweets AND popcorn AND coke AND nachos etc etc? Not having a go at you op, it's society as a whole. Mothers take kids out for a trip to the park armed with 'snacks'. Often they are under the illusion it's fine because the snacks are healthy! Dried fruit covered in yogurt/cereal bars/corn crisps/flavoured spring water/fruit,fruit and more fruit

Soft play.... More snacks. School run.... Snacks, as well as snacks in some schools as well. An hours car journey.... Pack a bag of 'snacks'. Or stop at the services. Sandwiches consisting of a meals worth of calories. Don't stop there, for a few pence more it's a meal deal, so add in crisps and coke. It's worrying. I'm questioning this with my own dc now.

It's as if we (society) are scared to let our dc feel and experience belly rumbling hunger

It was a birthday treat for my other daughter. Generally I'm not a snack giver. I was saying this to my mum earlier, that even when I used to take them to toddler group, I was always amazed that other mums brought snacks for their kids. I never did (partly because I was too disorganised, but also because I never snacked as a child).

The swimming is swimming lessons and she mostly does lengths at this stage, I believe (DH takes her).

On the whole I agree about snacks though. Pester power at its worst.