Weightloss programme for DD

[withaspongeandarustyspanner]

I write this with caution. I don't even want to be writing this, but I think I need a bit for advice for how to deal with my DD's weight - only she's only 9 and a half and I'm really worried about her.

She's not very tall (I don't know exactly, but I can measure her) but she weighs almost 6 st.

She's my eldest - I have another 3 children, who are quite slender. She does like her food and has always had a good appetite. She will always eat seconds given the chance, and if I don't let her, she's quite nasty and moody about it. If I don't let her have sweets, she's also stroppy (we limit sweets to once a week). I almost feel like she's got an issue, only I don't know what issue it is. For example, I took her, her sister and some friends to the cinema the other day. While we selecting the drink, popcorn and snack package, she was then asking about the next bag of sweets she could have.

I hate the idea of being controlling about her food, but I think it's got the point where I have to. She's not all that keen on PE - she does it at school, obviously, and she dances and has swimming lessons so she's not entirely sedentary. We could all do with getting more exercise - we've just been out for a walk, but we can only walk as fast as the slowest person (4 year old), so it wasn't exactly brisk.

Does anyone have any advice? Obviously, I haven't mentioned any of this to her and I don't want to or to make her aware of my concerns.

Thanks in advance.

26Point2Miles You're so right. We should start a national 'ditch the snacks' mumsnet campaign. Just to see what happens.

I'm sorry. Got my maths wrong. I just see a lot of children who have eating disorders because of the parents own issues. What you need to so is stick to a strict meal plan. Always have fruit and salad on offer. Make sure the portion size is right. How ever do this gradually so your dd doesn't notice and the rest of the family won't. Could you start doing family exercise? Going for walks in the woods? Treasure hunts? Could you buy a trampoline? Just make fun activities up and if anyone asks just say you feel like a change for your self but as well as others. I would NOT mention it at all. You aren't being disloyal at all. Please do not take her to the doctors unless your dd isn't losing weight or is still putting it on even after doing all of this. Looks like your caught this in time to help!

Is it a recent problem - maybe her body is getting ready for puberty.
It might be worth looking online to get some idea's of portion sizes for children - they can be surprisingly small.
Can you walk or cycle to school - the twice daily walk was what improved my sons weight.

If you have not done so already-

Water only for drinks, skimmed milk occasionally
5+2, that's five portions of veg and 2 of fruit. A portion is her handful size.
Plenty of lean protein- salmon, chicken, turkey, quorn mince pr vege sausages

Breakfast-
Whole meal pancakes with peanut butter
Eggs any style
A super smoothie- soy choc milk, banana, peanut butter,
Porridge

Lunch
Crudités with one of
Pasta salad/pita filled with hummus and carrots, chicken mad avocado wraps
Then Yoghurt/fruit

Dinner
Veg stir fry with salmon and a small handful of noodles in a chicken broth
Lemon and lime chicken strips with sugar snaps and some rice
Fruit for pudding

Give mince, pastry based stuff, white bread, cheap cuts of pork a wide bearth. Switch crisps/sweets for home popped corn, home made brownies or flapjacks. ( cut them small), handful of mixed nuts, dried fruit but not too much.

I have a medium sized Tupperware which I have chopped up cucumber, peppers and carrots into. DS and DD can just help them selves and I replenish every day.

Oven chips- switch to home made wedges with paprika

I sound like a government advisory berk!

Home made stuff- Things like
beef stew served with a big portion of green veg and a small portion of mash or granary bread.
Spaghetti bolognese- make it with quorn mince, grate in courgette and carrots which no one will see, and serve with a smaller portion of pasta but heaps of sauce and a green side salad.

Thank you crazyauntie that's really helpful advice. Sure, we could all do with losing a few pounds and it's all going to help.

I'm sorry I got annoyed - it's just that I'm so careful about things that even when I have done weightwatchers or similar, I've been very careful to not even let them know I've been doing it because I didn't want them to think it was 'normal'.

A trampoline sounds good - we saw something on TV recently about how good it is for you. I think portion sizes are likely to be too big. I definitely don't want to take her to the Drs about it :)

I wish we could walk or cycle to school, ICantFindAFreeNickName. We're out of catchment and it's just a bit too far (5 miles).

I want lemon and lime chicken strips now!! Sound yummy

Op, I never snacked as a child either. It wasn't something anyone really did back then. But then we played out all day and didn't have screens other than a tv with 3 channels and not much kids stuff to watch. Sedentary over fed kids is what we've got..... Going to be bloody hard to change things in our 'treat' culture

You're right to try to make changes op. I was a chubby child and it's vile!!
Cook smaller amounts so there are sadly no seconds? Earlier suppers so less time for hungry snacking after school? Arriving at school with only lots of fruit to fill up on? Def talking about a family health kick and never a diet!! Baked apple crisps ( recipe on my fitness pal) and carrot sticks? Smaller plates? Home made ice lollies for a pud? Am wracking my brains- it's a minefield, but will be worth it.

It's the zest or a lemon and lime, some seasoning and pat onto chicken, the griddle or grill- very hot- until cooked. Let them rest.

At 9yr dd is I think old enough to start taking onboard some healthy eating messages - she will be getting these from school as part of pshe. She is already fairly aware of her weight being an issue because of teasing/taunts when at school.
I would do a whole family healthy eating type of thing. I have previously done slimming world and we all ate what I was eating and benefited from this. I don't talk about dieting with dc, my dd is 14yrs and I talk abut intake of food matching output and making the food count by being super foods.
I wouldn't completely discount a referral to a dietician, your dd maybe less moody/grumpy hearing health messages from a third party.

We don't talk about weight loss or body image, but we do talk about-
Healthy choices
Being active
Staying well
Being happy

We frame it in a positive way, and the only thing I would ever say is about too many sugars and dental health in a negative way.

I think you could talk to your DD about weight. Why not? And why not take her to the doctors? That's not sending a negative body-image message, it's underlining that being overweight is a HEALTH issue.

We're all so scared of creating anorexic teenagers that we've gone the other way and tiptoe around the subject like it's abuse. Hence the population blowing up like balloons.

Yes - I am scared of creating an anorexic teenager, frankly. Not talking about weight isn't what's making the population obese, though.

Yes - she does know she's heavier than some - because she compares herself to her sister. She's also had a few taunts as mentioned above. She shrugs it off and says that that's the way she's built and she's strong and muscly. Which is brilliant, I think, but I do worry that talking about it too much, with her or a professional, makes an issue of it when she doesn't have a bad image of herself. And I'd like it to stay that way. However, I'd also like her to fit into her clothes (clothes that should be plenty big enough for her).

Sounds like you've got a wonderfully confident daughter!

I hope sobs of the advice on this thread has been useful.

Anorexia isn't something you "get" when you follow a NHS-supported healthy-eating plan! It's something you "get" when a host of issues - low self-esteem, peer pressure, negative media messages, loss of control, ignorance about nutrition, depression, anxiety - come together to cause the feeling that being THIN is the only way to be worth anything.

Nothing that'd happen at a GP's surgery would cause those feelings. What do you think the doctor will do, call her fat? 'm sure the Doctor will simply give you a healthy, NHS-approved eating plan to follow (that will work), suggest more exercise (that she likes anyway), and advise her on how important it is to a) maintain a healthy (HEALTHY) weight, and b) To lose weight sensibly, eating all the nutrition she needs.

Anyway, isn't all the advice saying that we HAVE to consult a Dr before we put our kids on diets?

Please read this. www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Anorexia-nervosa/Pages/Causes.aspx

I'm well aware that you don't 'get' anorexia.

I'm still not going to draw attention to it by taking her to the Dr.

I had a friend when I was in my teens who was hospitalised due to anorexia. She was very intelligent but she was troubled by many issues and I know it was more than just about losing a few pounds. I know, often, it can be a response to a huge trauma in life, which I know my friend suffered. Back in the late 80s, we didn't know so much as we do now. But I do know someone called her fat and said she could do with losing some weight.

I have a niece who has an eating disorder. She's an extremely intelligent girl, but there was an incident in her young life which may have been traumatic for her. I know mostly it is about control and the huge amounts of pressure to do well that she places on herself.

I recognise many of these symptoms in my own child. She certainly seems to exhibit some signs of anxiety at times. Also, in the society she's growing up in with a whole host of unhealthy and unrealistic body images that she, no doubt, encounters daily, I'm not prepared to risk it.

I'd be cautious of any 'nhs supported healthy eating plan' tbh!

I agree 26Point2Miles - I'm never convince by the amount of low fat food and carbs they recommend, personally.

If she is 9 she no longer needs snacks.
EVER - AT ALL
Stop buying snack foods and sweets
stop buying fizzy drinks other than for meals where you serve alcohol

she needs to learn to have decent gaps in her eating - and then let her have nutritionally dense meals - high protein, high veg

kids can watch a film without eating

food should be at the table - not on the sofa

sweets are pudding - ie served at the end of a meal

If this sounds familiar, its because its how WE ALL ATE up to the mid 1970's

when the food industry invented snacking

Well, I've never really given snacks, the only reason I did was because it was a birthday celebration at the cinema for my other daughter.

So she's marginally overweight then.... so probably she's about to go through a growth spurt and go into normal again.

If it was me I would be ensuring she eats plenty of protein to fill her up. So larger portion of casserole/ veg and less of the potatoes. If casserole isn't her favourite, even better it tests how hungry she really is . Don't put bread on the table (you probably don't but just in case). Add a boiled egg at breakfast/ give porridge rather than cereal.

As others have said it may be the start of puberty I've known a couple of girls look chubby at about this age then go back to normal for them. And it is hard op, build makes a massive difference to weight, we aren't all meant to be the same.