How can I lose 10lbs before my holiday on, er, Monday?

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

In a panic. Was meant to start diet in May but one thing (or rather, one pizza) led to another and now I've got less than a week.

I'm 5'6" and look great at 9st 7. This morning I was 10st 11! Shiiiiiiiit!

What can I do? I really REALLY need to crash some of this off. I don't care if it's unhealthy, it's only for a few days and I can do it properly when I get home.

Any and all ideas MASSIVELY gratefully received. What are your tried and tested tricks? Thank you!

I need something simple, few things so less temptation.
Quick.

I never eat when I work but tend to graze when I don't.
And haven't been working much recently so pounds have piled up.

Roaring at taking one in the ring!

I had no idea that might have been supposed to read "Morning" until I read WhatsGoingOn's post at 16:16. Thank God I didn't read Kelly's message at 15:56 and rush down to the shops, buy some and shove one up my arse in that crucial 20 mins!

< wipes brow in relief >

I do not have much weight to lose - 6lb would be fine - but have SERIOUSLY cut down on snacks and feel cheated as have not lost anything DESPITE doing 6 week six pack again too.

SORRY!!!!!!! Howling!!!!

Yes, in the morning.

I typed that message during a frantic fake tanning session. A tan makes you look thinner, no? I'm sat on the sofa looking like a twiglet.

Sorry if I offended you Whats.

Ooh, have just realised that if I can lose 4lb by next Wednesday, I will get a 50lb certificate and become a Gold Member.

ignores the fact I was exactly this weight in 2012 and totally lost interest in counting points so never made it

Well, my potato was fucking immense! Best food I've ever eaten. Legit.

I'm all for starting Scarsdale on Monday. I got the book so just need to buy everything in and also a weighing scales as mine refuses to work anymore. I have a wedding in two weeks and need a few lbs gone!

I'd like to do James Duncan starting Monday. Yesterday's blow out saw me gain 2lb but I was good today and bought a lemon cheesecake for dessert (I don't like cheesecake) so at least I didn't have that.

But DH has landed a fantastic gig (we're both self-employed) lasting 18mths but not starting until the 8th Sept. So a bottle of bubbly has been quaffed and tomorrow we're taking the kids out for the day. We live in the Cotswolds so I'll be dodging homemade pies, artisan cheese, award-winning icecream and luscious cream teas. So tempted to say screw it and starve in September.

Oh I didn't mention the worst part. DH's ex dropped the kids off this morning and was wearing a dress I own. She looked like a delicate little fairy in it. All blonde and dainty. I now want to burn the dress (which I previously felt pretty good in). Can't even bitch about her as she's lovely to boot.

Ugh, waiting that sounds depressing! DH is watching GBBO - the bastard! I can actually smell the tiramisu....

There's an egg fast diet if we want another silly one. I saw it mentioned on here and joined the Facebook group. Just thinking about eating 9 eggs a day makes me feel sick and farty however.

Time for my Pukka shitter tea and some strawberries.

I've had wine and hula hoops tonight - but that was my tea, surely there must be a 'wine & hula hoop diet' that I'm inadvertently conforming to...

Scarsdale on Monday it is so. Slimtember here we come! My precious second born starts school that day too so I really need to up my game for standing at the school gate twice a day

I'm in for Slimtember! Not had a very good week topped off with day out in London yesterday which involved Oddonos so haven't dared to get on the scales yet...

My Slimmatee arrived yesterday, not had any results yet though apart from a bit of gurgling and wind, hoping tomorrow will be better so I feel brave enough to weigh in.

Luckily DCs go back tomorrow so should be able to get into some sort of routine!

So funny these posts. I'm lolling over here in Spain. Back tomorrow and dreading weigh in.

As an alternative to dieting. We could all go out and buy an ittybitty teenyweeny bikini and wander up and down the Spanish beaches here.

These mamas don't have a single high waisted, hold ya in, swim skirt fandango thing going on. Oh no, it's maximum skin exposure regardless of wobbly bits. Regardless of age too. We could hire a coach maybe. Make signs and everything. Diet Rebels on Tour kinda thing?

I'm up for buddying up on a plan from Monday. Not sure I'll be able to get the Scarsdale book in time though so may have to start on the Duncan one instead.

Chin chin.

I've been avoiding this fantastic thread for the past 5-6 days as I've had guests and cooked lovely meals for them everyday scoffing my arse as I went along. I'm just easing off my 6 day chocolate and dessert bender. Totally pigged out. Two snickers for breakfast and nutella on bread are nothing compared to the bannoffee pies, lemon meringues, chocolate brownies, chocolate cookies, chocolate cake etc etc that I've sneaked into bed every afternoon and every night. I'd win the binge queen crown hands down. You'd all fade into shame in comparison.

But I've got my Scarsdale book and I'm ready to join you for Slimtember in Monday. Whatsgoing I hope you do Scarsdale too and not Duncan. I've speant a whopping 1p on my antique looking Scarsdale book and will be well pissed if you make me spend another 1p on a Duncan book. It might just trigger me into stuffing my face with more bannoffee pie.

You guys are too funny am up early as we are going to Snowdon today, up on the train and then we are walking down! With the madthings....sure it will be fine..,

Totally up for slimtember. Tempted by the Duncan diet or the soup diet supplemented by fags. Slightly traumatized that I won't be able to have sugar in my tea, I am a builder's tea, milk and two sugars girls that And a fag are my bfast most days.

Do not do any of the above suggestions.

Just learn to love yourself whatever shape you are in.

I am a wellness coach and I use products that I also distribute to help people to lose weight, gain weight healthily or to build muscle etc....

I do not condone crash dieting.

I recommend that you learn from this lesson that eating healthily is a life-style not a fad or quick fix.

If you were eating healthily all the time you would not be in this mess now.

Just accept yourself as you are.

I am sure you look great.

Take a lesson from this and start making health changes to your life after you get back from your holiday.

You will only stress yourself out trying to fix something that is not broken!!!

Just relax....accept yourself whatever shape you are in and make proper sustainable healthy changes to your life that you can stick with for a lifetime.

Do not diet.

You would be better spending the time going through your wardrobe to find flattering outfits or treat yourself to some flattering holiday clothes/swimwear etc...rather than trying to lose a few pounds in a rush.

Soz Judo. You must talk to my hand, i'm afraid. Lots of luffly advice but my crash diet has worked and now all my clothes look more flattering.

I haven't done a crash diet ever before, and have also lost 20kgs the slow way. This is needed for a boost.

I am a wellness coach and I use products that I also distribute to help people to lose weight, gain weight healthily or to build muscle etc....

Say no more..
Go away peddling your products and preaching elsewhere Judo.

Two senna, two shitters teas... No poo!!! Help me fellow crashers!
Also, re Duncan diet, is it really James Duncan from Blue?!

It should work!

Just stay close the nearest facilities.
A large glass of water room temp as well?

The tea took a few hours to "activate".

Ah Judo were you waiting for us to ask what your products are?