Losing the stones one guinea pig at a time...

[HenriettaPye]

Hello quiche avoiders

Lovely shiny new thread- we are a talkative bunch!

First Thread

Second Thread

To be a quiche avoider you must
-have a considerable amount of weight to lose
-be serious about wanting to lose it
-give other members a virtual kick up the arse when needed
-weigh in with us on a Wednesday (or if you weigh in on another day, post your results on a wednesday)

So roll up, jump in and lets lose lbs! and if you are having a moment of weakness just remember... what would clarinet do

Well done Birding

It seems lots of people are struggling at the moment for various reasons. It is hard work maintaining enthusiasm and motivation for weight loss over a long period, really hard. I wax and wane, and try and hope that the overall trend is a downward one!

I'm away this weekend so if I don't post for a few days then that is why, not sure about WiFi access where we are going.

Hey all, we move today so I'll have very limited internet access till new contract set up etc. Just thought I'd mention so no one thought I'd jumped ship! kitchen and bathroom still not completed so should be fun with a baby and a toddler!
Its going to be an exciting adventure, becoming completely self sufficient, river cottage here we come!

Lottie I got it it took me at least 5 minutes to work it out ! debbie I think I've worked you out.

Birding you can't keep up with the bargain thread???!!! What about me???!!!!!!!

Guys, I'm really worried about Isaac she hasn't answered any of my pm messages since the incident on the bargain thread. I think she might have given up on mn completely because of it. Have any of you heard from her or seen her anywhere since?

isthattrue what you say is interesting. Is it just your mind adapting to the new 'you' or is being slim not all it's cracked up to be?

xposted yellow. GOod luck with the move, sounds amazing although don't mention river cottage as I can't help but picture the hair wank story from the celeb sex thread

Sleb sex thread? I must get round mn more... Though that sounds like mental furniture I don't need!

I too have been worried about Isaac. If you are reading Isaac, come back here even if you don't feel like dieting at the mo...

Good luck Yellow. Sounds brilliant!

Reastie, what happened on the bargain thread? I haven't been able to keep up with them! Sorry!

Yellow, good luck with the move

Good couple of days for me since weigh-in, went to see Blue in concert Wednesday night. I literally ached all over yesterday from all the jumping around yes, I know I'm not a teenager anymore!
Then fast day yesterday, it was 4.45pm before I needed to eat

Hope everyone is ok

reastie I'm not sure tbh. I'm wondering if it's slight body dismorphia. As I can't see a difference between before and now. Even in photos, and I've lost 3 1/2 stone so it's got to be noticeable. I've had to but smaller clothes, but I just can't see it!

Being slim is better though, I'm much fitter, I can run faster and further than before. I think it may just be that whole 'well why do I deserve to be slim?' Thing. Who knows?!

Yellow good luck with the move - I hope it all goes well it sounds fab! -ewww I saw that celeb sex thread too

sounds like you had a great time phantom reliving your youth watching Blue I'm sure you burnt lots of calories!

reastie I have been thinking about Isaac too but I just assumed that she would be lurking on the threads still but now you say she hasn't replied to your PM's then that has me worried too. I hope she is ok I still can't understand why all that kerfuffle happened in the first place - totally unnecessary

Isthat It does sound perhaps like a little body dysmorphic disorder especially if you can't see the difference when looking at photos but I imagine it might be quite common with people who have lost weight? I think if when I do lose weight then I can't see that I would be able to see myself as slim as I have always been overweight so it would be difficult to actually think otherwise? do you have any old clothes that you can compare to your new clothes so you can see a difference in the sizes?

IsThatTrue, I get what you mean. I still look in the mirror and see a fat me. I have a history of steering clear of photos so there aren't many opportunities to check that one out, though someone took a video at a do over the summer and I 'accidentally' saw myself on it (from the back) and was very surprised that my back view looked much like the other women around me and not twice the size. And the other time I don't see a fat woman is when I catch myself reflected in a shop window as I walk past. So I gather it has something to do with what I expect to see, and if I'm mentally unprepared to translate what I see into what I expect, then I get a more accurate picture. Sorry, that's dreadfully garbled!! But as you say, the main thing for me is that I'm fitter and healthier which was the entire point, and a very nice outcome is that I can shop for clothes anywhere I like. All I need now is some spare cash to shop with...

That's interesting clarinet you see I put on 5 stone in less than 2 years with bfing/pg so I feel like when I lost 5 stone I was just back to my 'normal' so maybe for me it's easier to compute how I look. I've lost a stone and a half since and am now nearly at my slimmest adult weight and I do feel like it's noticable that I've lost. isthattrue I tried on one of my size 22 dresses a while ago and it was amazing the difference - can you try that? Have you always been larger? Maybe that makes it take longer to get used to?Interesting thought actually. Bit like if I went and had a nose job or something and looked completely different.....I would still feel like I looked before IYWKIM for a long time . Imagine how long it took Michael Jackson to get used to looking at a white man in the mirror

Lottie I know re: Isaac. I can understand why she got upset and what was said against her was completely unnecessary

I've never seen this famous bargain thread. Am beginning to feel like I'm missing out - where is it? Though I'm somewhat less interested in the sleb sex thread. I must really be getting old!

Phantom, sounds like all is going well for you. And though it's a bit late, I hope your move is going/has gone well Yellow, and I'm looking forward to seeing you again when the internet has come to river cottage. Really hope we see something of our absent friends soon, even if it's just a 'no progress' update. I must be very dense because I can't work out who the name changers are, so I've lost track of who has disappeared and who has regenerated...

Hi all

Something happened today which really made me realise how much I need to stop putting myself down about my weight. Today DS (3) was having a Halloween dress up party in school, and he had picked a pumpkin costume. It was orange trousers and an orange top with a padded tummy, to give the look of a round pumpkin. He put it on this morning, and immediately said he didn't want to wear it because people will laugh at him. I told him no-one will laugh, and that all his friends will be dressed up and he said 'no it makes me look fat' and he refused to dress up. This really upset me, as the only place he will have heard this from is me. When getting ready to go out, I'm always moaning to DH that I have nothing to wear or 'can't wear this, it makes me look fat.' So I have obviously put it in his head that being fat is obviously such a bad thing.

I never thought he was paying attention when I have said it to DH but he's obviously been listening and taking it all in. I feel pretty crap, I hope I haven't damaged him in some way. I don't want him worrying about being fat, he is only 3! (And he's tall and thin- definitely doesn't take after me!)

reastie see I haven't always been fat, I was anorexic/bulemic as a teen. Got myself sorted and to a healthy size 10 when I fell pg with dd at 17. Then I put on about 4 stone and ended up a size 16. I dieted when ttc DS and got to a 12. After DS I was a size 20. It then took my XH leaving me and me not eating for 6 weeks to lose most of it, got to a large 12 then took up exercise ( and eating again thankfully) to get back to a 10. I was hovering around a 12last year when me and DH got married I had to give up my beloved pole dancing and then fell pg with ds2 the next month. And the inevitable weight gain ensued.

So maybe it's all the up young that's confused my poor addled brain? Or maybe it's a hangover from my eating disorder addled teens. Who knows. But I'm going to keep drumming it into myself that if I fit in clothes which say size 10 it can't be all that bad!

henrietta don't feel bad. We all say stuff in front of our kids that we probably shouldn't and we all have to cross our fingers and hope for the best. The good thing is that you've realised now that that message isn't good for him, so you can do something about it while he's still young. Try not to beat yourself up. None of us are perfect.

Can I join this thread? I was going to start my own but I think this is more suitable

I feel like I'm on some kind of 'Catherine Wheel that's come off it pole' in my head at the moment when it comes to dieting.

I'm 5 ft 6. Size 16. I weigh 14.7 stones and dangerously obsese. I (think) I'm moderately attractive. I have all I want in life really - a lovely husband, 2 great kids, a highly creative career, heathy extended family (although they live hundreds of miles away).....the only thing I can't get past is my weight problem. Every day I wake up and it's on my mind. It brings me down. One thing peevishly that bothers me is my 34HH boobs. You'd think that alone would spur me on.

I can't stick to one thing. Over the years I've tried

SW (lost a stone and then went binging)
WW (I was just too tired of counting everything)
My Fitness Pal (calorie counting again. I manage for a day or two and then loose track)
5:2 diet - I tried this for one week and was sooooo hungry I couldn't face it. I was really excited about it too.
Paul McKenna (I really LOVE this ethos but I can't focus my mind).

I started C25K a few weeks ago and managed to get to week 3. I'm still stuck on week 3 as I've been repeating because I can't seem to jog for quite 3 minutes.

All through these recent diets I (obviously) haven't lost an ounce of weight so have given up easily.

Why can't I focus on it? Why can't I stick to something? As this problem fills most of my waking moments I'm so confused that I keep giving up so easily on something I want so much.

I don't stuff my face with burgers and crisps all day. I eat home cooked food. I try and exercise when I can. I think the problem is I'm sat all day working and work from home so don't even walk to work.

Even though I know they love me, I'm sure my husband wants me to loose weight, as does my mum and dad and I suspect even my children.

What's so wrong with my head?

Out if all the things I've dabbled with, is there any that I should retry? Or is a gastric band my only answer?

'Peevishly' bothers me? I don't even know what I was trying to say there.

Hi Harryhausen you are more than welcome to join us and say goodbye to those lbs forever.
Well that's the plan. Like you I struggle with diets, currently doing a mix of WW and MFP. I could quite happily eat all day long so I need the target WW and MFP offers. On slimming world I just ate as much as I could.

Could you try and put exercise into your daily work routine? You are at home but could you go out for lunch everyday, maybe a walk to the local shops to get some milk, bread, etc. It would give you a break from being sat and give you some guaranteed exercise each day.

You need to stick with one diet for a few months at least to see some real benefit so find one that is easy to stick to and start again. Post your daily diet on here if it helps you keep track.

A gastric band isn't the only answer. I am roughly your height and weight and I would have to be another 4 stone at least to be considered. Stick with us and we will help you as much as we can

Thanks for your reply Debs. In a way, it's nice to know I'm not alone. I'm only half serious about the gastric band. In my darkest hours I just feel so confused and desperate about it all, I feel it's the way to go. Although I don't think I ever would.

You're right, I need to fix on a way and stick to it. I mainly feel like I've had with 'diets' but I'll need to look at eating. At the moment I'm thinking of just having a smaller plate.

I could easily go for a walk at lunchtime. Do you think that would do it? I think if I ever saw a slight shift on the scales it would urge me on. I've been carrying on with C25k as I quite like it - but like the diets, I stuck at week 3 because I didn't feel fit enough to run for as long as u should be, and got demoralised.

I'm annoying myself!

However, thanks for the warm welcome to the thread and I'll stick around and weigh in etc and see if I can change my brain a bit.

X

Hi and welcome Harryhausen. I think going for a walk at lunchtime sounds like a good idea, but on its own it probably won't be enough. I do a lot of walking - I have a non-negotiatble 10-minute walk to the bus stop every morning and evening, and when I started my latest weight-loss plan I added to that by at least half an hour each way, but it's often more. So I'm walking a minimum of an hour and 20 mins every day. Running scares the life out of me and I don't even go there! I love my walks and they are very important in the general scheme of things - the outdoor exercise makes me feel healthy mentally and physically, and I think that's what's made it possible to stick to my rather idiosyncratic 'eat less' plan for well over a year now. That's after more than three decades of yo-yo dieting and not being able to stick at anything. However, on its own the walking wouldn't have worked. I really needed to eat less, and having recently lost my target 6 stone, I need to keep eating less or the weight will come straight back on again. So a smaller plate plus walking sounds like a good starting point - but I'd say also watch what's on your smaller plate as quite a lot of calories can be packed onto a small surface!! It sounds like strict calorie-counting isn't for you, but you probably need to eat less one way or another. Could you maybe aim to increase the proportion of vegetables on your smaller plate as well as reducing portion size? And do your lunchtime walk as well? Do you think you'd be able to stick to that?

Hi all,

Welcome to the thread harryhausen, yes you definitely won't be alone here! We're all know the struggle with tying to lose weight and the emotions that come along with it but we're here to support each other along the way

I think Debs has given some good advice with sticking to one thing and trying to persevere with it. Although I know it can be hard - I gave up SW after 3 weeks because I hadn't lost any weight - its about finding what works best for you. The thing I find works for me is calorie counting but I inevitably end up putting back on the weight I've lost and more!

I'm sure with having a smaller plate as long as its not piled double high and doing the lunchtime walk you will start to see a difference if you stick with it

Henrietta I hope you're feeling better today. Try not too feel bad - little ones pick up on lots of things that we don't realise but at least now you can change that message and it won't have done him any damage I'm sure so please don't worry

Last night I was good and managed to resist ordering anything from the takeaway, but then felt a bit hard done to as DP and DSD merrily chomped away with their Chinese so I ended up having an extra bar of chocolate to make me feel like I wasn't missing out oh dear!

Hope everyone is ok and having a good weekend

Thanks Clarinet. Wow, congrats on your weightloss! That's amazing. I'd be so proud of myself if I'd lost a tenth of that.

So, I'd daft not to listen to your advice. I'm happy to stick to the running for now plus add in more walking. I think the small plate sounds doable but you're right, it's no good having a small plate full if cheese and crisps!

I'm going to give it a whirl for a few weeks and see what happens. All I want is small shift on the scales just to see some progress I think. I'll post here when I feel myself loosing faith and hopefully you'll all talk me down

Thanks for the welcome Lottie

Welcome Harry!

I am a big too knackered to write much (or lucidly) tonight. In summary though I am 5'5" and started in the spring at 15st4, approx size 18 (though varied quite a bit depending on cut - small frame, big hips and boobs). I have been overweight since puberty and obese probably since I started university. I can't claim to have dieted extensively in my life as I have often made promises to myself that I would but then didn't get past day 2! I have no idea why this time seems to be different for me but I think it is because for the first time ever, I believe it is possible and it is not my inevitable fate to be fat - I can do something about it. I have the likes of clarinet and Reastie to thank for that, as they have shown me it is possible.

It is a bit of a slog but as you say, just a bit of a result in the right direction is hugely motivating! I would suggest measuring yourself as well as weighing, as you may find your weight seems to stick at times but your shape still changes.

Will be back tomorrow, have spent my Saturday night wresting with HMRC forms online and am brain dead now (I know how to live! ).

Henrietta, hope you are not worrying about your DS any more. He is so young, he will take on board your new attitude with no problem.

Have a good extra hours sleep everyone or at least everyone without a DC that will now be waking at 3.30am instead of 4.30am

Hello everybody

Hello harry . Alot of what you say resonates with me. One of my low points was this time 2 years ago I was on an NHS weight loss program (bit like weight watchers but NHS) and I was to discover I was the heaviest out of everyone in the group (at nearly 18 stone), even the men. That NHS group itself was useless for me - a patronising lady running it who was the first person in RL I confided in I had pnd and she then made me feel like I was disgusting for being my weight and I actually refused to then lose weight to prove her right for a while . Anyway, I digress and bad experiences aside, what worked initially for me was giving myself a month where I would try really hard to get good habits and choices in. If it made no difference at the end of the month then at least I felt like I gave it my best go and if it did work then it would stand me in good stead in future months. Once I saw some weight coming off in that month it spurred me on to continue. I was on a group a bit like this one too and could have never done it without their support. Also gradually cutting down on things rather than being too extreme (like I started off having a big bowl of soup for dinner every day with 2 pieces of bread. I gradually cut this to one and a half pieces of bread and now I have a smaller bowl with a small piece of bread for dinner). Small plates and bowls IMO are a great idea as I always fill my plate/bowl, so giving me an actual restriction to how much I can eat definitely stops me eating too much. And have snacks if you need to. I couldn't just have 3 meals a day, I need snacks! Oh, and being organised to take food with you so you don't get caught out needing something to eat and choosing something in desperation.

Gosh, that was an essay wasn't it . Didn't mean it to be.

Gosh thank you Reastie and Birding. Everyone here is so nice and quite it's motivational to hear all your (similarish) stories.

It's nice to hear you can make little changes and see a difference. Everyone I know on RL seems to be following a rigid diet plan (mainly SW).
I think I have deep rooted problems with food and body image. My mum was always on a diet when I was growing up and she would say as she put anything other than an apple to her mouth "I shouldn't be eating this". I never heard her say she was really fat (I don't think she was ever really huge). It was just this prevailing idea that food was somehow gluttonous no matter what it was.
My dad (who I love dearly) is a bit of a body fascist I think. Even now he's well into his 60's he gets up every other day at 6am to go for a run. He makes comments about women all the time on TV who are too fat or even a bit wobbly - saying they look embarrassing etc. I know he's disappointed in me because of how I look. Even on my wedding day, when I was a curvy size 12/14 he couldn't bring himself to say I looked nice. Mum managed to say that she supposed my dress made me look "quite slim I suppose". It upsets me deeply that I feel I'm pretty successful at a really hard and high profile career and I get no praise for what I've achieved , I just get this prevailing sense that I'm just a bit fat and isn't it a shame.

Maybe there's some defiance deep down inside me of "Stuff you - I'm not going to be slim because you think it's all important" ??? Maybe I've only just realised that now?

I'm definitely a self sabotager. My feelings on it feel like a massive 'soup' of emotions that I can't make much sense of. I do want it. I want a healthy body. I deserve one.

Wow. Sorry for the therapy session!