BigMoFos Week 5

[WigWamBam]

New week, new thread, new start!

It wasn't a skinny one . And it had sugar in it [double ]. I don't eat a lot of dairy either so maybe I can gain a few points on health grounds ... or maybe not!

I've got horrible water retention or something at the moment, my legs and feet are really swollen - my feet in particular are huge, and feel spongy. I know full well that it's going to show up on the scales too ... grrrrrrr!

Oh dear WWB perhaps we aren't twins after all! I don't like full fat milk and can't bear it in Latte, that horrible skin that forms over full fat milk - YUK. Never took sugar so can thank my mother for that!

We don't have full-fat at home, I don't like it much either - but I do like my lattes full fat. I only have them when I go to Starbucks - which isn't all that often really. I never find that a skin forms; maybe it's because the milk is steamed and not boiled? That horrible skin that you get on top of boiled milk ... bringing back some nasty memories of my mother making milky coffee on a Sunday morning ... it was meant to be a treat but that skin ...

I think its because of the foam on top stops the skin forming but I always stir the foam into the coffee so mine does form a skin. Skimmed doesn't though. A teaspoon of sugar isn't too terrible in calories either - perhaps you can still have your FF latte with sugar as a treat.

I'm not a big fruit fan but have been eating loads of strawberries - have a headache too but think thats because of the air pressure. Storms ahead methinks..

Oooh, no foam on my lattes ... I like them wet, all coffee and no foam.

Is it the weather do you think, Fio, or are you coming down with something?

or allegic to strawberries?

I am having a good day - fish and chips this evening. This is good because it was a celebration with my mum of her having a clear CT scan today. Outlived "terminal" cancer for another 3 months! Hurrah

What good news, suejonez. Congrats to your mum. Worth every calorie (and puts a lot of stuff into perspective).

That's such good news, Sue. :)

I've e-mailed my dismal results for this week. No more icecream for me.

This is what suejonez put on the very first thread, and I think it bears repeating.

'Can I suggest one rule? - no perfect people allowed and that means:

No apologising for posts that are not perfectly spelled and punctuated, corrections allowed if you make a mistake that changed the meaning of the post. Otherwise we'll work out what you meant we're smart cookies

no apologising for not sharing your weight if you don't want to

no apologising for falling off the wagon (share, discuss and move on)

In fact no apologising at all unless you've genuinely offended someone and even then you don't need to apologise for your opinion just sorry that they were hurt by it. '

Just to remind myself, really, that I'm not going to beat myself up whatever I've done this week (will be weighing this pm after school pickup).

Hmmm, not thinking the fish and chips were such a good idea this morning! But yes it was good news - when diagnosed 2.5 yrs ago she was given 5% chance of living two years. Not only living but pretty healthy too - hurrah for the Royal Marsden.

Can't get too worked up about weighing today - whatever the result, this week is a GOOD week .

Of course won't think that if I've put on weight!

Brilliant news, suejonez. My dad recently had the all-clear as well, so I know just how mind-blowingly fabulous it feels to hear those words. I'm so pleased for you.

Are you feeling any better today, Fio?

Yep, weigh-in day today ... [email protected]

Sue - that is wonderful news about your mother. I am really pleased for you . Am just going to e-mail WWB. Better results than I thought but not good enough to retain the crown I don't think!

I've emailed too. Dull, dull, dull.

Someone remind me that this is a good week whatever my weight!

It's a good week. And you're still quite a few pounds lighter than you were six weeks ago. And you didn't put weight on. And we're allowed to have weeks where we have a treat and don't lose any weight. And we don't beat ourselves up when we have weeks where we don't lose any weight.

Thank you WWB - I have struggled with myself since starting. I'm really struggling with a terrible body image problem at the moment. I know we all might think that its inevitable when you're this large but normally I get on with life and don't think too much about it. For some reason, I keep catching a glimpse of myself in shop windows and just think "God woman you're sooo disgustingly fat". Its a serious problem for me at the moment. I'm pretty sure thats its a large part of the reason I'm bumbling around losing nothing then a pound etc - you know, don't value yourself enough to do it mentality.

I can't decide whether to just keep persevering and hope that when I've managed another pound or two that I will start getting better or whether I need to give myself a severe talking to.

Any advice?

Of course a young fit lithe lover might do the trick too.

Oh gosh - I so empathise. It's hard finding the reason to do it if you don't feel that you're worth it. But you are worth it, and you will feel better for it if you can lose some more.

I'm willing to bet that your knees ache? And your back? I know they do because mine do too - because of the weight. I'm really looking forward to being able to move more easily when I'm a couple of stone (well, OK - several stone) lighter, and putting less stress on my joints. I'm also willing to bet that you get out of breath easily, and struggle to run for a bus ... because I do too. It will be so nice when we don't even have to think about it - we can just run and not struggle.

We are putting our health at risk - I know it, and you know it too. I want to be around for my daughter for a long time yet; if I don't lose some weight I will be dead of a heart attack before I'm 45. I don't want that, and I'm sure you don't want that either. Plus there's the increased risk of diabetes, blood pressure problems, so many other things that are exacerbated by being very overweight. We deserve not to have to be thinking about things like that, and our children (and those children we don't have yet) deserve to have us around for a long time. I'm not doing this for me - I don't value myself enough yet ... but I value my daughter so much that I can't measure it, and I'm doing this for her.

I'm looking forward to being able to put pretty clothes on in the summer, and not having to hide behind baggy t-shirts and thick trousers. I'm looking forward to catching sight of myself in the mirror in a shop and thinking, "Who's that lovely creature?" OK, so I can dream ... but if I can shift this weight it will be a reality. It's not going to happen if I don't try ... it would be nice, but it won't happen. The only person who can control what I put in my mouth is me.

God, I sound like a sanctimonious old prig, don't I

I wonder how we could work on our self-esteem - because I don't know about you, but that's partly where my weight comes from, and it's also partly the reason why I struggle to shift weight.

I think in the short term maybe I need to focus on teh health stuff and stop being so negative about my image as its counterproductive.

absolutely bad knees - compounded by bad knees even when I'm not overweight so I dread to think the damage I'm doing to them at the moment. Bad back - not yet, but then will be lifting junior around before the end of this year and he won't be a lovely little light new-born!

We probably all identify with the self esteem thing. The reasons for my weight problem are many and complex but undoubtedly lack of a positve body image has contributed. I have always felt fat - even when I was a slim size 14 (and looked a 12) in my 20's I was self conscious about my size so there's obviously something going on in my head that I haven't quite come to grips with. Problem is that most of the counselling available about weight problems (not that theres a lot) revolves around compulsive eating and I know I'm not a comulsive eater (no-one beleives me - they think I'mn in denial). I think my eating "disorder" is more insidious and difficult to pin down. A slow drip drip of not making the effort (emptying a bucket with a thimble kind of approach!) and accepting I'm going to be the funny fat girl (woman!) rather than the pretty sporty one!

Am I rambling now? I'd be really interested to hear how other people deal with this and wehther there's a way out or whether the plodding on approach will work.