When shall we three meet again? The not quite NT, not quite weightloss thread ......

[moosemama]

We were full up ladies, so we finally have our very own weightloss-ish thread!

You're so right about the painted on smile and 'everything's fine' face we all wear. I've lost count of the times I've been crying/losing it at home, yet wash my face, brush my hair and answer 'I'm fine thank you' to the next person who asks. Actually, it's most days on the school run.

Well, I waited in for an hour after ds's outreach session this morning in the hope the teacher might call, then went out with Mum who'd was desperate to take me shopping for pretty bits for mine and dd's bedrooms. (She's on a mission because she says I don't indulge my girly side enough! )

Would you blooming believe it, she must've called as I was putting dd in her carseat and I missed her!

I'm at the hospital with dh tomorrow morning to have his suspect moles thoroughly checked out, so the only chance we've got of catching up before the LS review on Friday now is tomorrow afternoon - when I happen to have a double school run. Not looking hopeful is it?

On a plus note, she did actually get ds to admit he is worrying about his anger and the end of the school year today. They didn't talk about them in any detail, but admitting he is worried is a good first step. She rewarded him with a game on her iPhone, she really has him pegged. (Which is of course why we don't want to lose her. )

Oh and I have new curtains and matching cushion for my new bedroom decor. I took it as a good sign that my wallpaper sample arrived just as I was locking the front door on my way to an interior design shop. Also got a lovely cushion for dd's room and finally find a mini, not-too-fussy chandelier for her after searching everywhere for over a year.

Called ds2's paed's secretary this morning to find out why we haven't heard anything in the two months since his appointment. Seems he slipped through the cracks, as the paed had a temporary secretary when he saw ds2. The letter to physio was drafted, but awaiting the results of his x-rays - which apparently had to be sent away. The results are apparently back, but had been overlooked. Secretary was lovely, found the family history I emailed, put it with the x-ray results and promised to put them in front of the paed for review this afternoon. So hopefully, he will at least get onto a physio waiting list sometime soon. Can't be fast enough really, poor ds2 is really struggling thanks to all the sports day practise they've been doing at school recently.

I have to attend the Nursery starters meeting for her this evening. Dreading it really, I really don't want her to go, but she is soooo ready and soooo excited I can't be mean enough to keep her home until she's 5 - can I?

at shopping. Definitely a sign, that wallpaper.

Little steps wrt both teacher and paed. Frustrating, but at least both moving forward again.

What will you dooooooooo? Without dd?
Aw. Hope the meeting goes well.

Meeting was horrid. They no longer let mum go along for the first session and they now do home visits in the first week of term.

The irony is that dd's teacher is going to be the mum of a boy in ds2's class who we used to visit, along with one of her neighbours as we all have dd's of a similar age. We were supposed to take turns in hosting, but I wouldn't let them come here (I told them because of the dogs and it being a small house) but actually because I would be mortified if they knew how tatty my house is. Looks like I'm going to be spending the latter part of the summer hols redecorating the downstairs!

I have already told dd that I will stay with her when she goes for her induction afternoon next week and now I have to tell her I can't stay. They always used to let you stay, but apparently don't allow it anymore. When the boys started - two years apart, you were allowed to the first session and even the next few in a gradual withdrawal kind of way if your child wasn't coping. Seems daft to me. induction afternoon now, then no nursery for another 10 weeks AND they aren't starting until the week after her brothers go back, thanks to the home visits, so that's going to take some explaining as well. Poor kid is going to be completely confused. They have no sense of time at this age - she's already telling everyone she is going to nursery tomorrow, when its only for an hour and half one day next week.

Unfortunately, ds1's outreach teacher's 'little steps' today turned out to make things a whole lot worse with ds1. He told her how scared and upset he was about transition and particularly the end of this school year because he will miss year 5 and his teachers. She then said 'it's a month a way, no need to worry'. He came home seemingly happy and told me he wasn't worried anymore because she'd told him not to be. Then it all went spectacularly pear shaped when I got back from the meeting. He came to tell me he couldn't sleep and that lots of little memories were upsetting him and had been all day. When we started talking, it was blooming transition that was at the root of it all. It's not as simple as just telling him not to worry ffs, he either bottles it up and it comes out by him being physically ill and in anger/temper and generally being on a hair trigger emotionally OR we encourage him to talk about it, get it out in the open and help him to see that we understand it's sad and scary, it's ok for him to feel like that and we will help him through it - and it will be ok. It's a no-brainer really, because we just can't have him being this physically ill and emotionally reactive, it's not fair on him - or anyone else.

He was rigid with trying to hold it in and just like the other day, was physically shaking when I put my arms around him. He wailed and sobbed, completely heartbroken without stopping for the next couple of hours, with me hugging him tight (and struggling not to cry myself as he was just so distraught and I couldn't help him) but no matter what I did or said I couldn't calm him down or reassure him. Eventually we gave him a rescue remedy pastel and suggested he try reading a book next to me on the sofa for a while and that seemed to do help him level out - for now. He went up to bed at 10.00 pm and collapsed from sheer emotional exhaustion.

Still, I have new wallpaper and curtains and wardrobes on order to beautify my pit of a bedroom and it hasn't cost us a penny other than my birthday money - gawd bless my lovely mum. Hmm, do you think they'd think it was odd if we asked the nursery teacher to interview us in there rather than the living room?

I think that would be perfect. Not at all odd.

Dd will be absolutely fine, you know that.

Pisser for ds1, but at least she triggered it, even if not immediately, iykwim? Better out than in. You must be wrung out, now. Gives you a great opportunity to contact her first thing tomorrow and leave a long message filling her in with what happened, too. Sometimes distraction is the only answer - dd2 knows when she is going to get overwhelmed and distracts herself. She will even warn us that we need to change the subject if she starts to feel the precipice looming.

You sorted out that camper, yet?

Yep, dd will be fine - it's me that won't!

No chance to contact outreach this morning. Straight to hospital with dh after schoolrun, only to find - to his horror - that they wanted to whisk him into theatre and remove his moley friend there and then. Poor bloke had to drive home on it, very gingerly and take the rest of the day off. He is a truly terrible patient as well.

Honestly, anybody would think he's had a leg off, rather than a 3mm mole, the way he's behaving, all pale and wan lying there with his leg raised - and that was before the anaesthetic wore off. He's actually dug out the walking stick he had when he had labrynthitis and has now gone for a lie down.

To be fair, he never goes to the doctor for himself and is totally unprepared for anything medical to be done to him. I think he's a little bit in shock actually.

As for moley, well they said there's nothing sinister about it, except the fact that it's new or new-ish. The doc said they could photograph it every three months and monitor it for change - or they could excise it there and then. Then he said if it was him, he'd have it excised, as then he'd never have to think about it again and promptly booked dh in without asking which option he'd prefer! His face was a picture.

The only problem was that the mole is in an awkward place on the back of his ankle, just behind the ankle bone. Apparently there is an important nerve and an artery that runs just below the surface there, so that makes the excision a bit harder. Also, it's more painful and harder to heal, due to the constant movement and flexing of the joint. They reckon about two weeks for him to be back to normal.

Camper is a gonna unfortunately. PILs refused to help with a loan to buy a rolling body shell and that was our last option really. Dh now has a plan to remove the interior and replace it with something else, tell ds1 that it's gone to the garage to have the whole doner vehicle thing done and then sell it, to get the funds to buy another one that we can then put the interior back into. The idea being that ds1 will think the doner thing was done at the garage and will never know that it is in fact a completely different van with our old interior in it. I'm a bit about this plan, as I can see the potential for it to go horribly wrong and if ds1 finds out we'll be in BIG trouble. I hate lying, so it just doesn't sit well with me I guess.

BIG BIG thunderstorms and flash flooding here this morning, much excitement for people like myself who have very boring lives. All the exciting weather usually happens in the rest of the country passes us by, so everything suddenly going as dark as midnight, monsoon like rain mixed with huge hailstones, thunder and lightning is exciting stuff. Unfortunately, our old dog hates thunder and lightning and we were at the hospital when it started, so she was completely freaked out by the time we got back. She has since made a break for it upstairs and tried to hide out in dd's bedroom, then hid in the living room and is now following me around like a shadow so I trip over every two seconds. Not good timing as I have a tonne of baking and cupcake decorating to do this afternoon for the school summer fayre.

you seem to be encountering remarkable stupidity today moose
1)re:nursery visit
3)re:outreach woman - if telling him not to worry was going to work, well he wouldn't be needing outreach would he.

I hope now he's had the melting anxiety snot phase that getting it out of his system has done some good.

I am feeling quite sympathetic to your husband re:mole excision, I felt quite shakey and miserable after a grim smear test a few months back so by extension have to sympathise with others over matters medical.

Dh is similar. Frankly it's just as well he avoids medics like the plague. When he had his serious accident it worked out brilliantly that they flew his mum over, because I couldn't have dealt with the 6 weeks of woe is freaking me, interspersed with bizarre superhuman feats with no concept of understanding that he was veering from 'no limitations at all' to 'I need a lidded cup and a straw to drink my tea'. Dear lord, we would have been divorced by now, head injury or no. Ankle sounds v sore though, not surprised he is out of sorts.

Top, you made me laugh with the 'remarkable stupidity' comment. v droll. I'm going to use that with a completely straight face, a raised eyebrow, and a sense of wonder in my voice for the rest of the day. it will cheer me up no end.

Tomorrow is the last day of school, the day dh flies to Romania, and the first day of the Canada Day long weekend. Which I am working. I can't help but feel my sense of impending freedom from routine is being marred, somehow.

On a slightly different note, boot camp has finished for summer, so I need to get my act together or alas, I will be undone.

Top? Top? You'd have thought this iPad would recognize tlp by now. Apparently not.

TLP, I am sympathetic really. Fetching and carrying, supplying painkillers etc. I'm not a very good nurse really though, it doesn't come naturally to me - I'm told I'm also a terrible patient, as I hate having to sit while everyone does things for me.

Dh had a serious head injury when we lived in Lancashire and I still shudder when I think about nursing him single handed for six weeks, followed by him having a personality change that turned him into Victor Meldrew in a bad mood, whilst sitting downstairs in his dressing gown composing endless complaint letters to anyone he could think of. see!

I'm mainly a grump because it's too humid for my cake decorating to work properly, so everything it taking twice as long as it needs to. Well that and the enormous, spectacular meltdown ds1 had in front of the whole of the upper juniors and their parents, when I went to check he had his inhaler before cricket - apparently I was making him late.

He has since come home, had several more meltdowns and been totally disinterested in the fact his father had an operation this morning when he wasn't expecting to. Funny, cos when I spoke to his teacher she said he's been cheerful and fine all day - whereas his brother told me he's seen him several times today and he was spacey and stressed looking and obviously not coping.

Anyway, I only came on the look at the picture of last year's summer fayre football cakes to see how I did them, because the damned footballs aren't blooming working this time and it's frustrating me no end!

I think too often in teachers' minds, quiet and placid = good, no trouble to us, even if the withdrawnness isn't 100% healthy. Am sure the horrid humid weather is not improving anyone's temper!

Sounds like both you and madwoman have been through the mill re:head injury .

That's ds, tlp. Hence he got to y5 before anyone was concerned enough to suggest a proper assessment. Despite every single teacher he's ever had commenting on it, but then dismissing it. so we had even ourselves resolved that, yes, he was quirky, but that it probably wasn't enough to warrant any professional involvement, so we all struggled on, despite the obvious.

Ach.

I shouldn't laugh, Moose, but am loving the image of your dh. he sounds like me.

Sil has lost 51lbs since she left here in January when she visited for Christmas. 51 lbs!

she is definitely going to put me through the wringer in a couple of weeks.

Sounds scarily similar Madwoman. Ds held it together right through the infants and finally lost the ability to cope when they moved him into the juniors. No-one would listen to us up until that point and even then we had to bring in all the professionals ourselves.

Are you a Victor Meldrew type then?

51lbs is very impressive. Make sure you get her secret.

Only on here. I type mn rants, not letters of complaint. I often do it in my pajamas though.

In rl, I'm hyacinth bucket.

Lol at Hyacinth Bucket - not at all how I pictured you!

I have just been on to IPSEA again, as we've not heard a dicky bird since we told the LEA to finalise three weeks ago. IPSEA lady was great, but a bit stumped as usually a 'we have taken legal advice, now finalise goddamn you' letter does the trick. She has had to take my query away and discuss it with their legal team and is going to call back either later today or early next week with some advice.

Went to ds1's IEP review this morning - complete waste of time really, just box ticking. SENCO really didn't want to discuss the statement, but said a couple of things that reinforced the need to get it specified and quantified. Came away angry at all the flaming meetings and talk, but nobody really helping him. They actually sat there telling me how great it was that he is willing to work with a couple of new children in PE, but completely glossed over all the rucks he's been getting into with other kids during breaktimes, which were so bad they decided to call us in unexpectedly to discuss one of them or the fact that the same teacher told me only last week how they are struggling with his temper and outbursts. Also didn't really acknowledge or address the state he's in over transition.

Finally finished the summer fayre cupcakes at 12.30 last night and got a really clear video of my intentional tremor for the neuro whilst trying to do the icing. Am really cross with myself for forgetting to take a photo before I delivered them to the school this morning though. Have to make a gf batch for ds1 later so will take picture of those and get it up on my profile. We have footballs nestled in long grass on one lot and clusters of toadstools with flowers, again in long grass on the others.

Gave them to ds2's trainee teacher this morning and she was swinging the box around all over the place, so I'd be very suprised if they all arrive at the fayre in one piece - if at all.

Ds1 dropped his summer fayre sweetie cone donation four times before we got to the end of the road (about 50 ft) this morning, necessitating me trying to retie the ribbon in the playground with an audience of 8 and 10 year old boys and a spectacular case of intentional tremor. The other parents now probably think I have the DTs.

Right, I'd better go and feed dd and Hopalong Cassidy. (He's been much better today and hasn't really wanted to be nursed - so that's fine by me. )

Hello lovelies. Have made a couple of posts but am having tinternet ishoos, so will keep it brief!

Having a totally shitola manic period whilst dh is away (inevitable end of term breakdown from dd2, dog at vet on bank holiday weekend, against backdrop of working all three days of holiday and relying on everyone in the world for childcare...) so, inevitable migraine. Feeling better this morning, but no end in sight, tbh, until weds night. Have already been to the vet this morning, and dropped dd2 at her holiday club thing, fitted in a huge argument with ds because he wanted to go to the skatepark and I said no, and clearing invoices and payroll for one of the not for profits. I've got about an hour before I have to be showered, ready for work, and have everyone picked up and dropped at friends so I can go and pull an 8 hour shift!

On the upside, I lost another two pounds, and lovely friend said to me at the parade yesterday (oh, yeah, coordinated the canada day parade entry before work yesterday as well) that I had deffo lost weight as my uniform shirt was fitting v well.

Ds is being a complete frigging nightmare. He is essentially just demanding his own way, and then bursting into tears if he doesn't get it, and stopping off and refusing to do anything else. A true delight.

If you never hear from me again, it's because I have been banged up for murder, I swear.

Hi, sorry I went awol - it's been a tough few days and then I lost the thread!

Sounds like your life is really stressful at the moment madwoman. Hope it calms down soon and you haven't 'been banged up'.

Well done on the two pound loss, when you put that together with your inch loss as well you are forging ahead.

Sorry ds is being so demanding. Have you started doing the psych's plan yet - is that's what's behind his behaviour?

There's been so much going on here I can't even start to think about it, let alone type it all up here. Literally dragging myself to the summer hols now - I hate this time of the school year.

Still not eating right or exercising and hating myself for it, but not seeing much chance of sorting that out with all this blooming stress. Hoping to breathe out and gently restart once the school breaks up in a couple of weeks.

No, not started yet. I put it off because with dh away and the end of term he was already maxed out - psych is coming this afternoon and I need her to sit down with him and go over it, so that he understands. With me trying to explain (I've tried for the last week) it seems as though he thinks it's just me nagging him (still) and he doesn't grasp that this needs his input. It's just washing over him like something else I'm doing, that's nothing to do with him.

I actually am really doubting that it's going to have any impact at all. He just gets up and either sits or stands around. He isn't even doing anything. Yesterday I woke him up and told him he had 25 minutes to eat breakfast and get washed. After 15, he was still sitting on his bed, and he'd picked up a book. This morning I told him he had an hour before we need to leave the house, and to come downstairs and eat, and twenty minutes later I went back up and he was just sitting on the laundry basket in the bathroom. Not even on the loo, or doing anything, just sitting. In a total world of his own. And yet, (I needed to get him out of the house because he's on a mountain bike camp in the mornings) later on he's interested and stimulated, and telling me all about the trails they were riding. (and then pulls a monumental tantrum because I say he can't go to the skateboard park with x, because we have to do y).

She seems to think that by giving harsher and harsher consequences for not doing what he needs to do, that he will do it. I just don't even know if it's possible, because I don't know what's causing this whole zoning out thing. It still seems way out of whack to punish him for not being able to concentrate if he, um, can't concentrate. Like punishing dd2 for falling over...

And mil arrives today. It will be lovely to see her, but dear god, I need another three days as my house is a tip.

It sounds very hard madwoman. I am inclined to agree that harsher consequences for not doing things doesn't immediately strike me as the logical way forwards.

Ds1 zones out, more and more when he's stressed - like now - and I know being stricter wouldn't make a jot of difference to whether or not he does the things he's asked, it would just mean a helluva lot more meltdowns.

It sounds as if the psych is coming at things from a rather nt point of view, basing her idea on how an nt child would react if they were given consequences for not doing as they were told. As you said, you can't punish a child for something that is beyond their control and if you do, you are just setting up a whole new set of problems.

Hopefully things will calm down once MIL arrives and you have her around to help out a little.

Ds's outreach teacher finally phoned this afternoon. She said ds is still one of their highest priority cases at present, but they have had a massive load of dxd children they've never worked with suddenly added to their caseload, so she can't promise how long for. As it stands, she is still fighting to keep him in September (statement or no statement) but it might not be for weekly visits and may need to be reduced to email contact with him later in the year. Even that's not guaranteed, but she is really concerned about how he's going to handle secondary transition, so is going to fight to keep him on her caseload.

We have sent a second letter demanding the LEA finalise by next Tuesday and threatening legal action if they don't meet the deadline and having spoken to outreach today I am more convinced than ever that we need to fight for the content. Outreach teacher says she has never seen a single quantified statement from our LEA!

We're off to visit the local secondary that ds wants to go to on Monday morning, meeting the Director of Learning Support.

Camper isn't looking like it's going to be on the road in time for our holiday this year - but we daren't tell ds1, so dh has invited a gang of mates (well two) round on Saturday to help try and speed things up. We will still have to dry store it after this summer, but at least if we can get it through it's MOT it will defer the whole ds1 over-attachment issue for a while.

Oh and ds2's bloody paed failed to put a dx of joint hypermobility on his report. He put lax ligaments! Ffs! He also referred him to physio and discharged him from his clinic. From the wording in his report I don't think he even bothered to read the family history I sent, despite me checking whether or not he wanted it before I sent it off. Not sure what I'm going to do about that one at the moment. Am so sick of constantly fighting. I dream of being one of those parents who just breezes through life without worrying or having to fight for their kids. I know mums at the school whose kids obviously have problems, but they either don't notice or choose not to and their kids just have to get on with it. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be better for all of us if I was a bit more like that.

ah found you again, sorry it's been a stressful week for you both. Been OK this week, just the usual up and down with movicol/toileting issues, am back to counting DS's drinks to make sure he's drinking enough (sigh)

Mad - all this increasing the consequences, just seems a bit mad to me - as upping the ante regardless could be counterproductive surely - on the might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb principle.

Moose - re:DX. I would sent a politely worded letter querying the lack of mention of joint hypermobility. Or if GP is sympathetic, see if he would do it... If needs be you can always request copies of DS's medical records, which should include handwritten notes made during the consultation.

Hi TLP I remember the drink measuring phase with ds2, total pita, but a necessary evil I guess.

We're still wavering on what to do about ds2's dx. I was all ready to fire off an email to the paed on Friday, but dh talked me out of it. Have double checked though and he definitely meets the criteria for a dx of BHJS/HEDS. Poor kid is in so much pain on a daily basis and his legs are constantly buckling under him, so really pinning our hopes on the physio, but have been told that unless they are EDS trained they can actually do more harm than good. Ultimate, final option would be to go privately to the UK specialist in London. £300 for a 1hr appointment, but worth every single penny from what I hear. We would have to borrow the money to do that though.

Still no word from the LEA, so it looks like we will be onto our Councillor, MP and threatening judicial review by mid-week. They have until Tuesday.

Ds1 is still all over the place, not sleeping at night, getting up crying about transition then so exhausted all day that he's ridiculously grumpy.

All good fun! Roll on the summer holidays.

Hi folks

I actually weighed in this morning. 162lbs, so despite my atrocious diet and lack of exercise I appear to have maintained since the end of May.

I'm not loving this weight, but have more pressing matters to think about at the moment and was actually quite relieved, as I was expecting it to be a good half stone more than it was. Am really noticing the difference since I stopped exercising and everything started to flop and sag, my clothes are definitely more uncomfortable now than they were in May even though my weight is the same.

In other news, our latest threat to the LEA seems to have paid off, as we called and were told they finalised last Friday. Just waiting for it to arrive now to see which, if any, amendments they made before sending off the appeal forms.

Ds2 has been suffering quite badly with his stomach. Weighed him this morning and he has lost a kilogram since May, which puts him back under the 2nd centile on the weight charts. He has a paed appointment at the end of the month, but I'm pretty sure they are going to put it down to stress and discharge him.

Ds is doing a sterling job of tarting up the camper, but the weather is really against him. He currently has a gazebo up over the van on the drive, but the rain is so heavy that it just drips through - not all that helpful when you are trying to spraypaint bodywork. Don't reckon it will be on the road for our holidays. Haven't broken that one to ds1 yet.

My lovely, painful, new symptoms are continuing and at their worst when I'm overtired/exhausted, which is pretty much constantly at the moment. Still no appointment through from the neuro, so I guess she's not seeing me in July after all, even though technically I would be due for my 6 monthly appointment next week.

It's very quiet on here, hope everyone is ok.

sounds like you are having an ahem fab time of it, I imagine you will be v glad for school to be out. well apart from being the on tap entertainer for the summer.

re:appointment - PHONE AND CHECK. letters get lost in the post, mistakes get made. don't let it drift.

good news re:statement and maintaining, not so good news re:exercise and poorly boy. Hope they do take the stomach issues seriously.

Spoke to soon, they lied - again! They haven't finalised, we received an amended proposed statement in the post this morning. Haven't looked at it in too much detail, as have been really poorly for the last couple of days and spent much of my time sleeping, but from what I saw at first glance they have made a quite a few of my amendments, whilst completely ignoring all the important ones.

So, we have 15 working days to ask for a meeting or make more amendments ..... yadda yadda.

Here we go again ........

How are you doing TLP? Has your ds broken up for the summer yet?

work wise - dismal. let's say that I live in interesting times . otherwise - have just about lost 1 more pound, am subject to end of term kernackeredness. DS seems happy, school report good. But apparently he doesn't always seem to be listening to instructions .

sorry you are not much further on with the dreaded statementing.