When shall we three meet again? The not quite NT, not quite weightloss thread ......

[moosemama]

We were full up ladies, so we finally have our very own weightloss-ish thread!

Sounds like a pretty full on plan madwoman, not surprised you haven't got your head around it all yet. Some of what you've said about non-compliance made me think of PDA - has that been considered as a possibility at all?

I wouldn't worry about the weight, you know you are smaller and that's far more important that what the scales say. My weight loss slowed down to a barely perceptible crawl almost as soon as I started shredding, but I got smaller and smaller, whereas when I was losing weight quickly, my measurements and clothes size didn't change much.

Lots of crappy stuff going on here, learning support review sprung on us, issues with outreach - who apparently need to speak to me. Apparently they are going to try and call next Tuesday afternoon. I assume that'll be to tell me they are removing ds1's 1:1 emotional literacy sessions at the end of the year. LEA still haven't finalised and are still ignoring us.

I love it when they do that. We need to speak to you.... Next Tuesday afternoon.

Wtaf is wrong with now? Don't be all meaningful and bothersome and let me stress and fret for five days.

I've considered PDA, lol. Which is another reason why I'm not convinced about the pushing thing - his standard response is to dig in (odd also discussed), but they are all just hung up about the ADHD dx. It's kind of strange. I can see it as a descriptor of some of his behaviours, but I am not convinced it explains everything. Whereas we seem to be in a 'that's typical of an ADHD child' when I don't see him as a typical ADHD child. It's like he's been put into this box, now. I mean, I know it happens, but he is so obviously not poster boy for ADHD that I am struggling to see why it's being used as the main event...

Ho hum.

I have a skinny t shirt on today, and apart from my arse, feel quite svelte. Clothed, anyway. Nekkid is another thang altogether.

Had emails yesterday that mil and sil are coming out separately in the hols, which will be lovely. Sil has lost 47pounds since I saw her at Christmas! she's going to bring her exercise plans out and stuff, too. I offered to book her in for boot camp.

It also means that most of my holiday childcare is sorted. I think I have about 2 days to organise!! How cool is that?

Lovely dance teacher spoke to me last night about dd2. She is desperate to do the summer dance camp and they agreed, but lovely teacher is now trying to work out the actual logistics, including how to best include her in an acro class.

Dear lord, I will book that week for my breakdown.

wow, free childcare and exercise buddy all in one, sounds great! also the being visibly smaller stuff.

re:psych. pda or traits had crossed my mind as well tbh from your description. I am yeah but no but re:psychs plan. On the one hand I am strict on what can definitely be controlled - getting clean, drinking enough etc. But then I am reasonably confident there isnt' any massive confidence/anxiety issue (tho of course that statement may bite me on bum in a year or two). BUT - it seems v hardcore for a sensitive youngish child to deal with pure behavioural stuff like this around anxiety without either having relaxation/cognitive or even meds type stuff to deal with anxiety at the same time.

Moose- sorry you continue to be pissed around re:statement and support services.

It was in response to me emailing her to ask what can be done about the state ds is currently in. She emailed me back after 48 hours to tell me she was too busy to email or to call, but needs to speak to me so will try and squeeze me in next Tuesday. In fairness, I know the service is majorly under-resourced and they are trying to fit in extra transition sessions for this year's y6's on top of all their usual caseloads at the moment. Not her fault really, but really frustrating all the same.

Fantastic that you are having visitors and getting your childcare sorted in one fell swoop. I love that sort of synchronicity.

I think we should all book a week for our breakdowns at the same time and meet somewhere warm and relaxing, with a free gym and swimming pool and mountains of healthy food on tap.

I don't know enough about PDA really, but from what little I do know, it does seem that if it's a possibility, her plan would be the polar opposite of how he should be handled. I think PDA is pretty new though isn't it and therefore hard to get a dx, which isn't going to help. I hate the way they jump on a dx and then try to squeeze the child to fit, especially as they are fully aware that comorbids are extremely common with these sorts of conditions. You only have to look at the complex list of dx's and comorbids of some of the children over on MNSN to see that more often than not, a single dx does not explain the full picture.

I think it's incredibly naive of her to think that you can just get a child with these issues to recognise there are consequences for certain behaviours and then just choose to change or stop them. If it was that simple, you would have been able to get through to him years ago. The fact is that that's how nt children learn, which is why (in most cases) their behaviour tempers and improve as they develop. The same can't be said for many non-nt children.

I know, in my head I'm thinking it might be a make or break thing. And I think if this doesn't work then I need to just pull him from all of the structure and let him just be for a while. We have until 30 sept to register for HE next year, so that will give me three months to see which approach is going to be most likely to work. Poor little sod. He's knackered and starving today, and of course that never helps.

Dh isn't going to Romania until next week now, so he is going to go to cub camp tomorrow. A good compromise. Ds is being really odd though, saying 'I will go if you want me to', with me saying 'sweetie, you're old enough to know if you want to go or not, I'm not going to tell you.' so the psych is definitely right about him being externally motivated. Not sure if the 'why' is right, though.

Swimming pool and mountains of food sounds like a dream! I'm up for it.

Well, manic week for me - not been eating as well as I could and should've been, but the scale moved downwards 84.5kg to 84.3, so that's something.

Having a Chinese tonight - starting back at the gym Monday. Now that I'm officially done with uni, I can get back into my 3 x a week habit :)

Today, however, I'm just going to sit reading Stephen King. Read the Green Mile first, now onto Pet Semetary, then I'm not sure which one I'll get next...

Saw the film version of the Green Mile as well - the ending is so sad :(

chinese makes me feel awful these days... i think combination of salt and msg. i still partake occasioanlly, but alwyas wonder why, afterwards!

Last week of school before the hols! I want to hide in my bed already. ds1 missed the bus this morning, so i had to take him to school. that just about capped off the weekend - ds1 came home from cub camp on saturday lunchtime, having not even managed 24 hours, and having had one almighty accident. without being funny, the child used the toilet before he went, at 7pm on friday night, but by noon the next morning (having missed one 'normal' toilet time in the morning) had already had an accident when dh got there. dh was supposed be pitching up at noon, and then camping with them for the second night. we assumed ds could hold it together on his own for a morning. erroneously.

i'm feeling ground rush, though, so need to chill out! Also have horrible sore throat and tickly chest, so am on the edge of a summer cold. Going to take the dogs up to the off leash area to get some fresh air before i go to work, though, i think. Clear my head!

Sorry you've had a bad weekend madwoman. Me too, I have a thread over in SNs about it though, so won't type it up here as well.

Lollipop, I tried four times to get to the end of the Green Mile film and kept missing it. When I finally reached the end I sobbed buckets. Saw Pet Semetary as a teenager as well - totally creeped me out at the time, but probably wouldn't bother me so much these days.

Hope the 3x a week habit is the gym rather than the Chinese takeaway!

hello ladies. I try and pretend Chinese takeout is healthy (well at least it doesn't contain cream!) but I know it's too salty etc.

sorry you have both had rough weekends, mad and moose. the toileting stuff is just aaaaaaaaargh and grim and feels neverending.

and to cap it all off, I just had an email saying I didn't get the job I interviewed for last week.

tbh, I was expecting it - there were a few things I could have elaborated on at the interview that I didn't, and therefore they judged that I didn't have enough immediately relevant experience. Got some great feedback though, and they were impressed overall, they just had a candidate with more immediate experience who won out.

still pissed though. grr. and it's only monday.

going to have to disappear off to work, anyway. just as well, or i'll be all over the boards starting rucks to let off steam, and that I don't need!!!

Yes, 3x a week habit is gym not Chinese takeaways! :)

I started said gym habit yesterday - wow do I ache today! I'm going again tomorrow, then maybe swimming on Friday, because I'm taking part in a spin-athon on Saturday. Aiming to do 2 hours, one of the personal trainers is aiming to do the full 12!

It's raising money for a charity in India, and the NAS. Unfortunately they don't appear to have a JustGiving page, I've just got a paper form which is putting a lot of my friends off as they prefer using JustGiving :(

Dd2 went on a school trip to the swimming pool yesterday.

Apparently she left her glasses at the pool. The pool say they don't have them. School called them when they got back to class and realized she didn't have them.

Without being funny, surely one of the fecking teachers or helpers could have made sure the kid with cp had got herself back together before they left?

I'm spitting bricks. Where the feck are they?

I'm a bit fed up of the no man's land that means she doesn't get any help for this stuff.

And I've had two slices of peanut butter on toast because I'm cross.

for you madwoman. It does seem like the system over there doesn't do much to actually support children with SENs.

I am also this evening because I have waited in all day and the flaming outreach teacher didn't ring.

Also, ds seems to be putting 10 out of 10 happy for everything in his feelings diary, then coming home and either freaking or flaking out, depending on how the day has really been for him. Of course school/outreach will use that to argue that he's fine and it's us that has the problem

He is currently lying in bed looking like death warmed up, with just establishing itself migraine and sick bowl next to him. He even stopped playing on his DSi before his time was up, so it must be bad.

.... and still no word from the LEA, but couldn't deliver warning letter thanks to staying in for the outreach teacher to not call.

Must be one of those days!

Peanut butter is good - good fat and full of valuable nutrition and energy.

Lollipop, sorry your friends aren't being supportive with sponsoring you. You're very brave to take on a spinning marathon - not sure I'd be brave or fit enough.

well done for giving it a go with fundraising spinathon LV

sorry you've both have had challenging times with unsupportive support, Madwoman and Moose. Hope the glasses turn up....

The outreach teacher that told you she could only possibly call you on Tuesday? Figures. What is wrong with these people?

Ugh for migraines. Fingers crossed, I haven't had anything for a good few weeks now ...

Good luck for spin, lolli. It kills me!

Moose, it's not so much they're unsupportive, just lots of them live out of area so online donation is better for them. I may suggest they find a way of giving directly if they so desire - then I can say I've helped the causes. I'm also going to sponsor the 2 ladies who are attempting the 12 hours!

Ds hasn't had a migraine since the start of year 4, so this is not a good sign, especially with the reflux vomiting rearing it's head again in the same week - poor kid is struggling, but still refusing to talk about it. I just suggested it might be because he's stressed or upset about something and he said 'But I'm not upset about anything' to which I asked him what all the tears were about at the weekend if he wasn't upset and he said 'oh yes, well I am upset about the end of the school year and moving up a class, but you already know that'.

So, it seems he is not mentioning it or including it in his feelings diary because we all already know how he feels about that, so there's no point.

I am torn about the outreach teacher. She is lovely, I know she cares about ds and I know she has a massive and ever-growing caseload and is currently trying to fit in all the y6 SEN transition stuff on top - support I will want for my own ds this time next year. It's not her fault - the system is squeezed/stretched to the limit and horribly underfunded. So part of me is understanding ..... but the other half wants to lose it in a spectacular way until someone does something to help my poor boy through his annual transition hell. I feel impotent to help him really, we've done and continue to do, all the talking and supporting we can do at home, he needs professional help and proper support to get through this school-related nightmare.

I feel guilty about the migraines as well, because they have come down through my side of the family and I was severely affected from my teenage years, right through to when they gave me Topiramate treatment 6 years ago. Praying the same doesn't happen to him.

Ah - well in that case, at least their hearts are in the right place Lollipop.

Still thing you are amazing for putting yourself through a spinathon.

that's a v interesting point re:diary - again relating to TOM, Moose, that he may not fully get that the advisory lady doesn't know that he's stressed about transitions.

sorry to hear about the migraine. please don't blame yourself. I doubt there's a family in the land without some form of genetic predisposition to illness of various types.

That's the thing, moose. How awful is it that you don't get the support you need unless you throw a full on screaming wobbler?

Tis why I had to leave the LSA thing - so depressing that unless parents had it in them to intervene in a spectacular style, the children would be left with suboptimal support. I did my best, and got a fair few kids sorted out, but quite often lack of support was blamed on parents not getting involved. I mean, who is the professional here? It shouldn't be down to support decisions being based on whose parent is making the most noise. Frustrating!

Yy, migraines my side too. Mum had them for years and years. I was a little concerned I was going the same way, but signs are good at the mo.

That's it TLP. I said exactly that in my email to her. She suggested I should tell him I'd emailed her as it might help him to open up if he knows she is already keyed into a problem. I explained that he knows we talk and email and actually, he assumes she already knows everything he's said and done and therefore also assumes that if she felt it needed dealing with, she'd take it up with him, iyswim. Of course both his teacher and I raise specific issues for her to deal with with him, so that's kind of reinforced his belief.

I think there's the added element with transition, that he knows he can't stop it happening, so there's no point in talking about it because it just makes him feel worse. So he bottles it all up and it comes out in other, physical, ways instead. He also knows he's told us about it, so why keep raising it, when there's nothing we can do to stop it either.

I know you can't help the genetic thing, but I am feeling a bit guilty and crap that ds got ASD from dh's family and migraines from mine and ds2 has also inherited joint hypermobility from me. Can't help wondering what little gem I have passed to dd now. Daft thing is, I always thought we were good strong stock on both side, iykwim and there was no reason we shouldn't go ahead and have children.

Madwoman, sadly I think the whole UK SEN system relies on only supplying help to those who shout and fight the hardest. It's a disgrace. Fortunately for ds I have a very loud voice and a very bad temper! Sadly, it means that the most disadvantaged children are the ones who are then doubly disadvantaged, as their parents either can't or won't fight for them.

without MN SN I am sure I would have got less help for my child, as I knew to ask about Hanen, etc, at the time I thought what was on offer on via state system was meagre, but compared to other areas actually sounds to have been quite reasonable!

In terms of genes, I suppose that's the advantage of an unplanned PG that I didn't have to consider that sort of thing explicitly! My side of the family is not great for MH, and obesity related diseases. And of course the whole aspie traits side of things. I try and avoid thinking about it tbh as it would just upset me /ostrich. For various reasons I'm not planning any more children so not a huge issue anyway.

I agree. MNSN has been a lifesaver both for myself and for ds1. I knew something should have been being done to help him, but had no idea what or how to make sure he got it. I dread to think what situation we'd be in now without the guidance, support and information that the other MNSNers have given me.

I often feel guilty that I don't tend to recommend it to people in rl, but I know I am easily identifiable and whilst I wouldn't really mind them seeing my posts, I'd hate to feel like I had to second guess everything I posted.

It's another reason I love this thread, MNSN - but not quite and not such an obvious place to look for me, unless you're determined and go to all the trouble of doing a specific search on my username.

Ds2 was unplanned, we'd just decided not to have anymore children, went off travelling the West Coast of Ireland with ds1 as a baby and found out three weeks in that I was pregnant - doh! Never regretted him for a minute though, he is such a sweetheart and was an angelic baby - well once he'd gone a few rounds with the local osteopath anyway! Dd was planned and conceived a year before ds1 had his breakdown and went through his assessment. We knew he was quirky, but hadn't realised the full extent of things back then.

It makes me saner. Tbh, with dd2 I used skinuk in the really early days. I hadn't found mn until I had already got my head round the whole cp thing, but I must have been knocking about here for at least 4 years now, which is kind of scary. By which I mean, kind of scary how long and how much time I really spend fretting over sn. And how long I've been doing it. A bit of an eye opener.

I don't advertise mn in rl. I am waaaaaay too recognizable, and it's a breathing space. I was trying to get this across on a 'how can we help' thread. One poster was saying that she knows a couple of people who are careers and they don't need any help, they manage brilliantly etc. I was trying to explain that she honestly wouldn't know, because we all smile and cope on rl - I don't want anyone to pity me because of my children- but that however well it appears we cope, there are times when we really don't. I think I just came across as a ranty fruitcake, though.

And of course, you know that every time I try to name change because I think I'm too recognizable, I get locked out of my username and spend freaking months having an outofbodyexperience. so, I don't do that any more.

Well, I have loads to do, but I'm knackered. I am toying with the idea of dusting off davina for one of the twenty minute things, to get me shifting. I have high hopes and a looooong list for today, and need some energy. I did not want to get out of bed.