Paul McKenna's Successful Eating Thread (part 5)

[SoloIsAHotCougar]

The Golden Rules that will aid you on your journey with our like minded support system:

1. Eat what you WANT
2. Eat when you are HUNGRY
3. Eat CONCIOUSLY
4. STOP when you are satisfied

I've C&P'd part 4's links as they are helpful.

Here is the book on AMAZON which is all you need to get started!

This is the tapping technique EXPLAINED - this can be useful for cravings.

Please feel free to join us

Hi all

Been rubbish and not reading thread as can't concentrate. Having felt hungry for days. Have eaten something but more like when I comfort eat ie crisps and chocolate as I am just so tired and can't get myself going. I am not well either and have pain every day so it is hard. Have had crackers and houmous, pringles and some chocolate and raisin thing. Just want to sleep.

I am struggling. I am deliberately overeating and it is having serious physical and mental repercussions. I am holding on by my fingernails. There are no noticeable signs to anyone else at the moment but I think I am about to fall in to a big depression. Really need to regain some control so have listened to the CD the last two days and eaten with awareness for the first half of each day.

What the fuck is wrong with me that I can't let myself successfully lose weight and feel better? Every time it starts to work or I get any where near 12 stone I start to sabotage. Again and again and again. I really need to get to the bottom of this. Am prepared to throw money at the problem. What the fuck should I do? At least I am getting fitter even though I am fluctuating by the same half stone every few weeks.

Sorry to hear you're struggling shrinkingnora :( What you say sounds very familiar, I do the self-sabotage and deliberate overeating as well, it's a very difficult cycle to get out of.

Would it help if you took the focus of weight for a while, i.e. stop weighing yourself and just concentrate on being kind to yourself and listening to your body and trying to be healthy and happy?

shrinkingnora - I am a past master at self sabotage. Not particularly with losing weight but with anything worth having. I don't know if this strikes a cord with you but I think I do it because if I succeed at something and it doesn't turn out to be the wonderful thing I thought it would be I will be far more disappointed than if I don't succeed - the goal will have turned to dust and all the effort will have been a waste of time. If you have a lot of hopes and expectations resting on succeeding and then you don't fulfill those hopes despite reaching your goals then that is hugely disappointing.

Also by sabotaging my efforts, if I fail I can say that actually I didn't try very hard and I could do it if I wanted to. If I try really hard and still don't succeed then I really would be a failure as there is nothing to blame but my own inadequacy. Better to fail because I can't be bothered than to fail because I am stupid, incompetent or incapable.

If you really think you are heading for a genuine clinical depression would it be a good idea to go to the doctors and try and nip it in the bud? Has this happened before? Perhaps you could also get a referral to a counsellor if you think it would help. Sorry if I assume too much - I don't mean to offend but you sound more than a bit pissed off and if you are really struggling then maybe it would be good to get some help before it becomes a big issue.

Orimirian - Good luck with pub. Hope it is all working for you at the moment. It takes a bit of getting used to but eventually you won't have to be quite so mindful all the time!

FAB - sorry you are stuggling. Things sound rough for you too. It isn't easy concentrating and feeling up beat about food and eating if you are feeling ill and out of sorts.

I don't know, what is going on with us all? Why do we so many of us have the urge to eat too much?

Grrrrrrrrrr! Niecie, that's a good question!
I've over eaten today. No AF arrival yet and lots of leg pain (feel for you FAB). Am bloody tired.

Off to my class tomorrow and hoping I can do it (exercise!!!).

Take care all.

8am and already overeating today (picking up where I left off last night) :(. This is really not working right now. Have a lot of stress and worry about work etc and even though I know I'm not hungry, eating seems to be the only way I can cope with my feelings...

Morning all

sorry to hear lots of people struggling... time to do some of the visualisation exercises? Remind ourselves of what we want rather than don't want?

I read a bit more of the book last night, made myself a mental list of what I WANT:
I want to be slim
I want to be healthy
I want to be a good role model for my daughter
I want to look ace in bed

I am slowly getting my head into the eating thing.... not doing great at the eating slowly yet- have been remembering halfway through a meal! I left a bit of my dinner last night though (a grand total of 1 meatball!)

Also went for a 'run' last night... managed my best distance yet - 1.73miles of actual jogging non stop- no walking or anything

Oh, so many people on here struggling, and at the same time . I don't really know what to say except perhaps keep pouring out your feelings on here everytime you want to overeat? There is always someone around on here and also perhaps just writing out your feelings in here will take the energy out of your negative feelings?

Would distraction work for some of you? Generally, distractions works best for me. If I feel like doing something negative, whether reaching for the biscuit I don't need or getting angry with someone or getting irritated with something I walk away - literally take myself into another room and immediately do find something to occupy my hands and/or mind or simply to walk out of the house/office and walk round the block/buy a magazine/talk to someone.

Always remember - if you self-sabbotage today, there's always tomorrow to start afresh. I never thought this way on other diets, but now I do.

Niecie what you said about self-sabotage was a complete eye-opener to me. I'm exactly the same. I am sitting my first year university exams at the moment. I haven't revised properly. I couldn't motivate myself to get started and kept putting it off. I have done my best in the short amount of time I allowed myself but I really haven't put in half as much effort as I could have/should have done. Now I'm almost in tears because I've realised that the reason I've done this is because I'd rather fail from not revising than revise really hard and fail anyway. I've always been the "clever" one, rather than being pretty or slim, so I'm terrified of losing that and then it'll feel like I have nothing going for me. I feel so cross with myself now! And really stupid for not realising I was doing this :(

I'm exactly the same with food. Whenever I get near my goal I go and buy myself a packet of biscuits or something

I really must deal with this.

I'm sorry so many people are struggling with this at the moment. Would it help to write your feelings down? Last night I was quite stressed about a situation with my DP and I wrote down how I felt and then I felt so much better. I hope that's not patronising, it really did seem to help and I've never tried it before.

Anyway, I hope everyone is feeling more positive today :)

Morning everyone. It is a struggle here too.

Niecie - I could have written ever word of your post. I have done it my whole life, not tried properly so that I could always say 'oh I could have done it if I'd really wanted to'. Except with Bfing oddly, I was like a dog with a bone with that one.

I've over eaten the last couple of days. No weight has gone back on, but it is not coming off and it needs to. Otherwise I won't fit into this bloody bridesmaid dress and then what will I do? That isn't just sabotaging myself, that is sabotaging my best friend's wedding, which is a whole other level of crapness.

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

Right. I am so busy today, by rights I shouldn't have time to eat but there is always time to shovel in a biscuit isn't there? I so so want to be one of those people that says 'oh whoops I forgot about lunch, silly me'.

I've never understood the 'too busy to eat' thing either! Yes you can be too busy to prepare and eat proper healthy meals, but how long exactly does it take to grab another biscuit or chocolate bar? I eat worse when I'm busy/stressed, but I don't eat less...

I also self-sabotage in other areas of life, leaving things to last minute, being afraid to properly try etc. Interesting that so many of us are the same, I wonder if we have some personality type that's especially prone to eating problems (among other things!)?

This self-sabotage thing is bizarre isn't it? I get why people fear failure. Seems like a sensible thing to be afraid of but self sabotaging your goals is about fear of success. Why would we not want to be successful?! Maybe many of us do share a personality trait to a greater or lesser extent.

Alibaba - that is really weird as I was very very pig-headed determined with bf too. DS1 was a nightmare. Constantly fed for about the frist 4 months. I was in tears so many times in the 1st 8 weeks because he was never satisfied and bf was really painful because there was no time to recover. DH and the HV both tried to tell me there was no shame in giving up because they were worried about me - DS was fine - putting on weight at a ridiculous rate and he shot up the centiles so there was probably nothing wrong with the latch or anything. We eventually sorted ourselves out (turns out DS has dyspraxia and I reckon he just didn't have a very strong suck until he got a bit bigger and stronger) but it would have been so easy to give up. And I didn't.

GreenToes - I finished an OU masters last year but I did exactly what you are doing with my last module (and the ones before but it got worse and worse). I planned things out. It was all very doable and I had time to do a good job. I still left it so late that I had to pay a courier £120 to take my final extended essay to the OU so it got there in time. Really, ffs, that is just madness. I was so ashamed of myself and it has tainted the whole thing. I either think I don't deserve because I didn't work as long or as hard as I could have, or I think it isn't worth having because it must be really easy because I didn't put in enough effort and still passed. And could I have done better? Silly.

I'm upsetting myself now.

What is the solution? Is there one?

And whilst I am bleating away on here I am sabotaging my attempts to start my little business (nothing fancy - an internet shop). I should be listing new stock, sorting out the accounts, putting myself out there and advertising/networking. What am I doing? Wasting time on FB and on here (although obviously I am not wasting time with you ladies). I have piles of stock that I have had for ages (which incidentally is sabotaging all attempts to tidy the house - bloody boxes everywhere) and I can't sell it if I don't list it. So I have bills to pay and no money to pay them with. Arghhhhhh!

Sorry, what a load of self pitying crap. Time for some positivity.

Niecie the shop sounds like fun - what are you selling out of interest? It is so much harder to make yourself do things when you're working on your own, but at least you've identified that you're potentially self-sabotaging and maybe that will help you overcome it :) and I'm sorry to hear about you with the masters, although at least you got it done in the end!

It does seem like we all have similar issues which aren't just about eating but about our self-esteem (maybe?!) or attitudes to things in general. The eating and weight loss is just one of the ways that that affects us.

Hi ladies.

Just wondering if anyone on this thread no longer needs/wants/used their CD?

I've got the book but can't find the CD anywhere!!!!

If anyone can help I'll be so grateful.

Thanks.

Just to jump in on the self-sabbotage and weight (and other areas of life) thing many people on here share.

Please don't take this the wrong way but I just want to contribute a different perspective on weight gain, as it pertains to me.

I'm one of those overweight people who is not a self-sabbateur - I know exactly why I've put on weight and why I've lost weight and then put it back on and that's because I am a foodie and I simply love food. It's been greed, pure and simple .

I'm also naturally a "glass half full" kind of person and, despite setbacks in my life eg terrible illness, I've picked myself up at every turn and ploughed on. As a result I'm very proud of the achievements I've had in my life and fully expect more to come (including sustained weight loss).

I'm so sorry if this comes across as relentlessly positive and smug and certainly I've had times when my self-esteem has suffered but overall I am genuinely a self-confident (if often introverted!) person.

Just wanted to put across a different perspective. Again, I really hope I've not offended .

Niecie, get off MN and FB and get back to your internet shop!

Shitty shit day here too. Well few days actually. Can really identify with the self sabotage stuff -me to a tee. absolutely totally the same with bf too,both times. Spooky.

Going to try hard to get back to a positive place. Hope you all manage it. I have no words of wisdom but lots of sympathy.

I was a smug slim person that ate far too much food and stayed slim...now I really want to be slimmer, but it seems that as soon as I get to a stone mark, I fall off the wagon, two stones and I've done the same!
I have been better today so far though.

I'm a glass half empty type (which I hate) and always feel that something will go wrong for me ~ especially if it's been going well.

I didn't do any further education, but when I had to have my RE project in for my CSE, I left it until the day before it was due in...got home from school and worked solidly through the night, went to school to hand it in (it was an immense project too) and went home again to sleep. It got me an excellent grade, but I should never have left it to the last minute!

I was never a Jade Goody fan, in fact quite the opposite! but watching her fight with cancer and watching her with an almost constant smile on her face really made me try to change. I try to smile most of the time these days...I've even stuck a pic of JG on my kitchen cupboard and I remember that I have to make the effort every day, because even though she knew she was going to die, she always had a smile at the ready.

Oh yes! I too was a stubborn breast feeder! in fact I'm still going with Dd who is nearly 4 1/2years...had so much ductal thrush (lost count after the 12 time) and continued through gritted teeth, had the start of mastitis 3 or 4 times and massaged it away...cracked nipples ugh! but I wasn't going to stop! oh no! I think we are all much more similar than I would've thought possible!

Pah - just wrote a big old post about how I am actually quite positive and how this is part of the problem because I know that even if I do fail, chances are everthing will be fine and I will survive and that actually it would be better to negative and terrified of failing because the fear might outweigh the procrastination and sabotage. And it has disappeared. Pressed post and all I got was an empty preview box.

Probably just as well - I sounded like a nutter.

Or I could just be an adrenaline junkie who likes pushing the limits! Mentally not physically - you wouldn't catch me abseiling down Everest or bungy jumping off (struggles to think of a tall thing) anything big.

On a slightly more serious note - has anybody done or know anybody who has done Lighter Life? I don't like the starvation tactics they use to lose weight but I reckon that a lot of us would find the talking therapy useful. They would tackle a lot of this stuff I am sure.

GreenToes - it is a needlecraft shop selling mostly kits with a bit of knitting thrown in. In an idea world I would do the shop half the time and then be an OU or adult ed tutor the other half of the time but the shop isn't making money yet and I am in the old need a job to get experience but can't get a job because I don't have experience connundrum. One day I will make a living but anytime soon.

Niecie - I know a couple of people who did LL, and despite all the talking stuff they still piled the weight back on when it was time to reintroduce food.
As I've seen pointed out on MN time and again when people are 'fatty-bashing' - dealing with food addiction is about the hardest thing you can do, because you cannot go cold turkey as you can with drugs, alcohol, cigarettes etc. At some point you have to learn to only have a moderate amount.

I am doing ok so far today, but entering into the danger zone now. The breadbin and it's assorted contents are calling me, but I can't actually work out if I'm hungry. I feel a bit limp and weak, as if I need food, but that could just be tiredness.
I often think that this would be easier if I wasn't at home with the boys all day, but then I was overweight when I worked too so maybe not.

Alibaba - I was having the very same conversation with somebody yesterday in RL. We were talking about a mutual acquaintence who has had a gastric band fitted and lost loads of weight. He apparently said that he wouldn't have had to have it done if food were like any other drugs that you could just give up but you can't because you need it. So for him, the best option was simply to make it impossible to overeat and it has worked. Too drastic for me but he was very very over weight and I suspect it might have saved his life.

(I can't help wondering if you know the people I am talking about, knowing that you live so close by which is a bit weird )

evening all

I wonder if everyone should be doing the mirror exercise? or imagining themselves slim - seems to be a lot of slippage at the mo, we need to refocus I think

I am just about to listen to the CD for the first time since before I was pregnant with DS, and I did the mirror exercise earlier... here's hoping!